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At_His_Feet
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| Posted: July 27 2008 at 11:35pm | IP Logged
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I'm hoping that you may have some wisdom to share with me. I feel as if I must be doing something wrong in the management of my/our school days. Please bear with me as I give you a run down of our family and how a typical day looks.
My eldest son Thomas (10), is highly distractable. He doesn't seem to be abe to complete any work without me by his side encouraging him. If I attempt to do others things while he works I end up yelling at him for his lack of focus. It can become very stressful. I suspect that he could have ADD. I have come to the conclusion that I need to stay with him while he works so that our days will be shorter. Even so, it still takes us an age to complete the basics. By the time we have finished religion. maths and spelling (SWR & therefore teacher intensive), I am ready to stop for the day. But, then I have to start with my second ds (8) who has aspergers and who also needs lots of my time! Not to mention trying to do read-a-louds, history (which ds 10 loves) etc.
When reading about large families I can't get my head around how you do it. I only have 2 who are school age and I still don't seem to be able to manage effectively.
So I guess my question is, how do you work with a child who needs lots of your time, and still manage to educate other dc? I keep thinking that I've missed out on some piece of the puzzle. 
With thanks,
Tricia.
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Tricia
Mum to 3 boys 17, 15, and 10.
Do whatever He tells you
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Red Cardigan
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| Posted: July 28 2008 at 1:04am | IP Logged
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Tricia, I don't have a large family--three girls, actually. My oldest DD was a bit like that at first, and now my youngest has been wanting me to stay with her through each subject. We don't have any special learning issues, though, and my girls are older now.
One thing I found helpful was to simplify where possible. I ended up letting my oldest go "back" a grade level in math, for instance, b/c she was young when we started and the math finally got too frustrating--I realized that even though we worked through the basics she hadn't learned as much as she should b/c she was "leaning" too much on me the whole time. So by putting her in the same math grade with dd 2, who is just a year younger, I could teach them together, and my oldest wasn't finding things too difficult anymore.
With a ten and eight I think I'd try to do as much as they could together, I'd pick something simple for religion and cut assignments down to size in math and spelling or look for a more student-led program or book, etc. You might also consider a three/two schedule, where you do the more intensive subjects just three days a week and have fun with read-alouds, history, projects, and so on the other two without having to do the intensive subjects first.
It can be a juggling act. But I'm a big fan of simplification whenever possible or necessary. 
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At_His_Feet
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| Posted: July 28 2008 at 1:48am | IP Logged
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Thanks Red Cardigan,
I know that you are right about attempting to simplify as much as possible. But I feel that I can't afford to slacken off as Thomas is already *behind*. He's two years behind in spelling. I know SWR will help, it's just unfortunate that it takes so much time! We are also behind in maths as it took us a while to find a programme that worked for us, MUS. He is almost finished Gamma. I like the idea of a 3/2 scedule but...
The boys do half of their religion together and the same history.
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Tricia
Mum to 3 boys 17, 15, and 10.
Do whatever He tells you
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Milehimama
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| Posted: July 28 2008 at 6:22pm | IP Logged
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My oldest is 10, and a grade behind. He is special needs, impulsive, frustrates easily, and generally sucks all of the energy out of me. He needs constant hand holding even as he gets upset about hovering.
He's been in sp. ed. for the last two years... this is HIS first year homeschooling (his sibs have been homeschooled, though.)
I'm eagerly awaiting any answers you get!
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monique
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| Posted: July 28 2008 at 8:50pm | IP Logged
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Tricia,
I have a son that sounds exactly like yours! He is nine and seems to take all of my time. See this thread where I was desperately looking for help. What I did was cut it down to the bare minimum. We are also going to switch curriculums next year. He does math, reading, language, and some spelling. I do a lot of the writing (this has been key) or he does it on a dry erase board. I also work with him at night. He seems to be able to focus better at night when almost everyone else is in bed. He is a bit of a night owl so I think that helps also. We pray at 8:00 and I get everyone in bed by 8:30 and then I work with him until about 10:00.
I think he is a bit ADD. I'm not sure I totally buy into that theory but we also do DHA supplements and when I can stay on his case to take them I think he can concentrate better.
I share your concern about getting behind. I worry to but I had to make some changes because I was so upset and angry. I'm hoping he will pick up other subjects as we go along. I also hoping that he will improve as he gets older and can handle more as he matures.
Hope that helps! I know how exhausting it is.
Hugs and Prayers,
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Monique
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Lara Sauer
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| Posted: July 29 2008 at 9:36am | IP Logged
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Shorter lessons with greater attention and time spent on his weaknesses and deficiencies. Spend your capital where you will get the most bang for the buck!
What do you mean precisely when you say that he is "2 grades" behind in spelling? He is only 10 years old, so I am assuming that you have just finished third grade with him...children make so much progress in the area of language arts between the second half of third grade to the beginning of 4th grade, that I would be hard pressed to label anyone really "behind" at that point. If the list of words is 20 long, break it into manageable segments for him. Be choosy about which words you have him memorize, pulling out maybe 5-7 words from each lesson instead of all twenty and go over the phonics rules for why the words are spelled the way they are...usually there are alot of overlaps in a lesson and if the child knows the rules, he will be able to apply them in other circumstances.
My oldest son was very easily distracted when he was younger. He will always be a dreamer, but we are working on getting him to recognize his deficiencies and correct them by applying the appropriate virtues necessary to help him overcome his vices.
To help him, we had him use a timer to move from task to task...short lessons interspersed with short breaks helped him. Structuring his time well will never be intuitive for him like it is for some of my other children, but he can be and is being taught time management skills and awareness of the movement of the clock.
Finally...praise your son for each victory that he has. The failures will speak for themselves.
In regards to your other children, your 10 year old is old enough to understand that he can not and must not have all of your time. In justice to your other children, he must work without you. Tell him that the other children will always look to him as an example and he has a great opportunity to help you instill virtue in them by allowing them to see him working independantly. Bring in other examples about how it is really a sign of maturity to be able to work on one's own. Perhaps even have his dad talk to him about his job and how he has to use his time wisely while he is at work each day.
Good luck.
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graciefaith
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| Posted: July 29 2008 at 12:49pm | IP Logged
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We do SWR and yes, it is parent intensive. My girls are younger though, almost 7yo and 6yo, but i do them separately. Could you break up SWR into shorter segments? Do the logbook or quiz/test and then the enrichment exercises or phonogram practices another time during the day? That way, you're not spending a large chunk of your time with SWR. My girls got burnt out that way and so did i. I had a love/hate relationship with SWR. lol But, we've made some changes and now we all love it.
I have no other advice. I'll pray for you!!
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At_His_Feet
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| Posted: July 29 2008 at 4:59pm | IP Logged
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Monique, I remember reading your thread with intest!It's great that working with him until 10pm has helped. That's the beauty of home education. Unfortunatly this would never work for me.   We are morning people.
Laura, You have given me lots to think on and impliment. Thank you. As for spelling, the diagnostic test in SWR puts him at grade 2.6 while he in 4.5. Here in Aust. we are half way through our year. I can see improvements, but I am anxious for him to catch up for his self-esteme and just in case he needs to return to school. You are so right about short lessons. I'll get back to that today!
Graciefaith, that's a great idea to break up SWR. It's interesting that you say you do your dc seperately. We started both ds on SWR, but it didn't last long  . My second ds is a natural speller so he now uses another programme. Thanks for the prayer. I could certainly use it!
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Tricia
Mum to 3 boys 17, 15, and 10.
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Topic: What am I doing wrong?
