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monique
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| Posted: June 03 2008 at 12:08am | IP Logged
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Just wandering what to do with my 9 year old that pretty much refuses to do schoolwork? All plans that I make are out the door when it comes to him. He also refuses to do chores. He doesn't have privileges such as watching tv or playing the gamecube although sometimes by the time supper comes and everyone else has completed their lessons I'm exhausted and too tired to "enforce" any rules. I can't think to cook when the baby is crying and the toddler is jabbering a 100 words a minute and everyone else if fighting.
DH is gone at work too long to be of any help. What do you all do to keep your energy going through the day? I'm too tired at night these days to do any sort of bedtime routine. Most of the time I can get dishes done and their pajamas and teeth brushed. I'm too exhausted to pray and read. How do those of you whose husbands are gone for work a lot manage with lots kids?
Any suggestions would be of help.
Thanks,
Monique
Mom to 5
Raising Saints
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Chari
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Monique,
I have time to pray for you.........but no more else tonight. I SO know what you are talking about, raising 5 saints without dad around much because of work.
So, I promise to pray for you, even if I cannot remember any practical advice in my "old" age 
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Chari...Take Up & Read
Dh Marty 27yrs...3 lovely maidens: Anne 24, Sarah 20 & Maddelyn 17 and 3 chivalrous sons: Matthew 22, Garrett 16 & Malachy 11
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Red Cardigan
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I haven't been in your exact situation, but sometimes I've had to stop and rethink our homeschooling plans--most of the time if my girls refused to do something it was because it was hard, they didn't get it, or the book was way too advanced or confusing. Maybe a little retooling and simplifying would help? I'll pray for you, too. 
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MaryM
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Dear Monique - hugs to you. When looking at my kids and cooperation I've found it helpful to look at their temperaments. The book The Temperment God Gave You has a great section on interaction with our children based on temperaments and includes a chapter on motivation as well. It might help you find what things motivate him and build that into your plans and expectations.
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Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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bfarmmom
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| Posted: June 03 2008 at 8:21am | IP Logged
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monique wrote:
What do you all do to keep your energy going through the day? I'm too tired at night these days to do any sort of bedtime routine. Most of the time I can get dishes done and their pajamas and teeth brushed. I'm too exhausted to pray and read. How do those of you whose husbands are gone for work a lot manage with lots kids?
Any suggestions would be of help.
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As far as energy goes, I would look at what you are eating. I really started watching what I was eating and it made a HUGE difference in my energy level. I cut out processed foods. I avoid anything with sugar, especially high fructose corn syrup. I also try not to eat a lot of bread, pasta, etc. during the day. Are you taking any supplements? Vitamins? I take Ocean Plant Extract and Cod liver oil, and a Multi vitamin and that also helps tremendously. Are you taking time to exercise? I know it is hard with little ones but if you can fit that in somehow it also really helps. Could you get out in the am with the children for a walk?
And as far as lessons with the 9yr old I had some of the same issues with my oldest. I realized that when I sat with him to do his lessons it went much smoother and he was more compliant. It is sometimes very hard when there are a lot of other little ones running around but it also made a huge difference. I would also get frustrated with him because he needed this extra help or motivation and I couldn't understand why he wasn't more independent, being the oldest. But I realized this is just where he is right now and that is why I am here. Trying to encourage even when I feel like screaming!! (If he still needs me to sit with him when he is seventeen then I think we have a problem  )
My husbands job also keeps him late sometimes and there is traveling involved also. I feel your pain!! I will be praying for you. I hope I am not sounding to preachy, just wanted to mention some of the things that helped me. Again you have my prayers.
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Kirsten
ds13,dd12,dd10,ds7,dd6, dd 4, ds 2
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Mackfam
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Lots of prayers and hugs  Monique!
I was going to suggest what Red Cardigan suggested. When my daughter turned 9 there was a whole upheaval of sorts in terms of what she was able to handle schoolwise and other. It manifested itself in a meltdown of all areas of life. I think I read that children at that age are easily overwhelmed because they're transitioning into a more abstract way of thinking.
Anyway, I tried and tried to *force* her into more and more - school, chores, etc. After several months of this I eased back and started to simplify out of necessity. I was overwhelmed with this new attitude she had developed. As soon as I did life improved.
My advice would be to strip his schoolwork down to essentials - bare bones.
If it were me, I'd probably take a couple of weeks off of school to sort of cleanse the palate - KWIM? During that time, I'd focus on nutrition for everyone - but especially you. Kirsten made some great suggestions there. Set up a good eating plan.
Also, set up some routines. It always helps in my house to focus on one change at a time. That's why I suggested taking a couple of weeks off of school - for your sanity and theirs - to just focus on routine. Routine just seems to help settle lots of things. Say no-thank you to outside the home commitments for a couple of weeks if you can. Set up a routine that works for your family. Having your husband gone a great deal demands a lot of you and the children. Sit down, and put some thought into your days. What could the children be doing to help out chore-wise? Write it down for them. What are the things that you absolutely must do each day to keep your home running smoothly? Write it down for yourself.
Really be present to your 9 year old during this time of refreshment. I loved reading Dr. Ross Campbell's How to Really Love Your Child. He would say that your son right now really needs his love tank filled because he's acting out in ways that say he's stressed.
Anyway, just my 2 cents as I reflect back on a time in our lives with my daughter when all of life seemed to be spiraling out of control. It seemed all I really needed to do was to pull my children in closer to me - love them - and simplify everything else.
Many prayers for you!
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Jen Mackintosh
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hereinantwerp
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| Posted: June 03 2008 at 11:07am | IP Logged
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Quote:
It seemed all I really needed to do was to pull my children in closer to me - love them - and simplify everything else.
Many prayers for you! |
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This is the best advice. Very hard to do when you are near out of your mind with exhaustion!! I am a person who is easily overwhelmed, I've dealt with that feeling a lot!
What I think I would do in your situation is to forget formal "school" for a while. Summer is a nice time to do this! But I would do a read aloud time. Make some tea (or iced tea!) and snacks for everyone and settle on the couch to read aloud for 45 minutes or so. Choose varied "living books", alternate fiction and biography and nature. Try to be patient with the interruptions (the snacks help!, also you could set a special toy or two out for the toddler). Then just provide lots of accessible art and writing supplies and see what happens. And make sure to spend some good time outside a few times a week!! Boys especially need that, and it can be refreshing for you.
It is also hard but it is important to spend some time with that 9 year old--not just frustrating encounters out of necessity, but to hear his heart, his current interests, etc. My almost 9 year old boy really resists me when he is not "connected with," maybe to "get back" at me or to demonstrate his needs??? I don't know. It is a challenge for mothers!!
You need to take some time out just to focus on you and your home for awhile! If everything is feeling chaotic and frustrating and exhausting, you have to take a break and just focus on this. It is much more important overall than any academics.
Someone mentioned routines and this can help, but can also take time to work out. For a long time the older kids and I did one chore every morning. The house was maintained, though it never looked totally clean. Then I decided I really don't like to face housework every morning. Now I do it Tuesday (bathrooms and hard floors), and Thursday (dusting and vacuuming) mornings, with Friday as a "catch up" day for whatever didn't happen. Monday is "laundry and planning day", with a "folding party" at night when dh and I watch a dvd or just talk and do that mountain of folding together (watching tv is a "treat" I wouldn't otherwise do!). Friday is "desk work/paper work" day. Wed. is free!
The one thing that preserves my sanity is to take a longer break every week. I try to pray and connect with the Lord in 20 minute snatches and etc., but you know, I just find I can't really "connect" that way. I know this might sound---IMPOSSIBLE! But if it is important enough--where there is a will there is a way. One friend I know took Saturday mornings, while her dh did the grocery shopping with the kids (brave man!). It "robbed" them of family time, but she was really an introvert and having some quiet kept her together. Taking an evening to go to a favorite coffee shop while someone else puts the kids to bed is one thing I have done. These days I have worked out on Wednesday afternoons to first meet with a friend for prayer, then spend an hour or two at the library browsing for books and journaling. The biggest temptation for me is to use this time for errands and "to get things done". But I have learned NOT to do this!
You have a soul, and you need to tend it! The soul is like a garden--if not tended, it will be full of weeds, with the good things (fruit of the spirit!) choked out by the bad, or starved for nourishment. In order to pour out love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, etc. to your children, you must nurture your soul! This is not selfish--it is FOR your children and husband as much as for you!! Perhaps you could hire someone one night or afternoon per week. And maybe a housekeeper too! I would certainly hire a housekeeper if I could!
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Angela Nelson
Mother to Simon (13), Calvin (9), and Lyddie Rose (3)
my blog: live and learn
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monique
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Wow, what great suggestions. I know all this stuff so I don't know why I can't put it into practice!
Our diet is pretty good. I think I could use some supplements but where to start? There are so many! We do have everyone on vitamins and and DHA supplements and I think those have helped a bunch but it's very difficult trying to get the 9 yr old to do anything and that includes watching his diet and taking his vitamins. I've found his DHA pills in crates, on the floor, etc. It is hard to keep tabs on him when there are four other needy children in the house. We do our best though. He's also sensitive to corn syrup and dyes so we try to keep those out of our diet.
I love to exercise. I like to walk at our local river bike path. I used to put the younger ones in a double stroller and the older ones would take their bikes. However, here is another refusal or something that ends up being a fight. So walks have become few and far between. The 9 year is not old enough to stay at home by himself plus I feel like he needs the physical outdoor stuff to help him. We end up getting in fights though when we do go because everyone wants to use the scooter or someone doesn't want to walk or bike--you name it they'll find a way to fight about it.
I do try to spend extra time with the 9 yr old. Sometimes this helps and other times he just does things to make me angry. At one time it helped if he stayed up after the other kids were in bed and we did his work but once again I'm so tired at the end of the day I just want to go to bed!
I haven't heard of the book you mentioned, Mary. I'll have to see if I can find it.
By bare bones do you mean something like just the three R's? We usually start the day with the things we do together and for the most part he is cooperative for that. We pray and do some memory work, dictation, read alouds and history/science. So I hate to cut that since he cooperates with that. Most of the time he'll refuse to do math, his reading, writing, and language. Should I not make him do those?
Routines. We do have them and but I have to hound everyone to follow them. They know what they are expected to do in the morning. We've done the same thing for years! Yet, no one can do it on their own. Not even the 11 year old. I've tried everything. I get up and get a shower before everyone gets up--which has helped some. I'm there, present and involved. It seems like everyone is so distracted though. Mostly it's the legos and fighting with each other that distracts them. They do have chores and they are written down on our fridge.
I love the book How to Really Love Your Child. It was one of the first parenting books I ever read! I feel like I've gotten so far from that though. Maybe that should be the next book I pull off the shelf and read again.
I have also heard that this age is particularly hard especially for boys. I think you might be on to something there, Jennifer, about the abstract thinking. I've heard before that third graders are also making the transition from learning to read to reading to learn. We also feel like he's got some ADD/ADHD issues. I'm not sure I totally buy into this but he certainly exhibits those behaviors. So part of this may be a phase/age.
I think we do need a break but they are almost done with the grades they are in (except the 9 year old) so I'd like to finish those this month. I just have to find the energy to get through this month. We do have a simplified schedule in the summer so I'm hoping that will help all of also.
I'm curious about the bread and pasta during the day. Why has eliminating those during the day helped? Would you mind explaining that, Kirsten?
Thanks so much. I think I'll go take some vitamins now and plan a healthy lunch.
Monique
Raising Saints
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Red Cardigan
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Monique, what are you using for math, reading, writing and language?
My oldest dd hated Saxon math, and I got frustrated with it too. Trying it in fifth grade was an experiment and we went back to MCP. Other kids find MCP frustrating but do really well with MUS or some other program. If he's refusing to do math, it may be b/c he doesn't like/doesn't understand the program?
For reading, why not let him choose a book each day and spend twenty minutes reading it?
Writing is something that seems to be harder for boys, from what I hear--but even with all girls some of them are naturally loquacious on paper and some are not. If he's having to write a sentence here and there in other subjects I'd consider dropping any formal writing program for now.
And for language, I'd look at the program just as you looked at math, and maybe find a simpler or more basic program. Or, if your state doesn't require a language program, maybe you could eliminate that too.
Just some thoughts...
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folklaur
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monique wrote:
| All plans that I make are out the door when it comes to him. He also refuses to do chores. He doesn't have privileges such as watching tv or playing the gamecube although sometimes by the time supper comes and everyone else has completed their lessons I'm exhausted and too tired to "enforce" any rules. |
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You have gotten so much great advice. I can't really add to that, except....
I know you are exhausted. :( But - he knows it too. If he knows that once you get to that point, you just get too tired and he gets to do what he wants, he will use that (not always on purpose, he is only nine!, I don't think they always think it through like that - but they do learn early 'what works' iykwim) BUT - believe me when I tell you it is easier to stop bad habits at nine, than when they are teenagers. Because if he knows it works, if he knows he "won't really have to listen (like doing his schoolwork)" it won't get easier as he gets older.
prayers and hugs!
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bfarmmom
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monique wrote:
I'm curious about the bread and pasta during the day. Why has eliminating those during the day helped? Would you mind explaining that, Kirsten?
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I just avoid a lot of the carbs/sugars during the day. I guess it ends up being a low carb diet although I am not doing this to lose weight. I did notice that it just made me sooo tired after I ate those items.
I can handle carbs/sugars at dinner time. I also enjoy some sweets (a piece of pie, cookies, etc.) in the evening  Although if I keep that up I will need the low carb diet to lose weight!
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Peace,
Kirsten
ds13,dd12,dd10,ds7,dd6, dd 4, ds 2
Sonlight Garden
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mom2mpr
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To get through I use chocolate
About 3pm.
Just my little suggestion as it really is what I need to get through my days.
Prayers for you--I am there, and doing that.
Anne
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monique
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| Posted: June 04 2008 at 3:02pm | IP Logged
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[QUOTE=Red Cardigan] Monique, what are you using for math, reading, writing and language?
Ack! Please don't cringe when I say Abeka. I know that is probably most of my problem. I'm open to other things its just I decided to start with it and it works well for my other children. I also hate to switch curriculums and then we have gaping holes in their knowledge.
For reading, why not let him choose a book each day and spend twenty minutes reading it?
I think this sounds like a great idea. Except I would have to set limits because he would pick up things way below his reading level. He seems to like the Abeka readers. He just doesn't want to do the work.
Writing is something that seems to be harder for boys, from what I hear--but even with all girls some of them are naturally loquacious on paper and some are not. If he's having to write a sentence here and there in other subjects I'd consider dropping any formal writing program for now.
Again I tend to agree with you, so I don't push handwriting too much.
And for language, I'd look at the program just as you looked at math, and maybe find a simpler or more basic program. Or, if your state doesn't require a language program, maybe you could eliminate that too.
Any suggestions for language? I would probably switch to MUS or Saxon for math but again I don't think it's that he doesn't understand it's more of a lack of motivation, I think. He can do the stuff perfectly if he's motivated. For instance, if there is something he wants to do such as watch a movie that has been promised or work outside with dad. He can be done with his schoolwork in a timely manner. He is very smart. I think most of this is an act to get out doing any work. ykwim? I check his answers and most of the time he is doing very well.
Thanks for all the prayers and suggestions. I need them!
Monique
Raising Saints
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monique
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| Posted: June 04 2008 at 6:19pm | IP Logged
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mom2mpr wrote:
To get through I use chocolate
About 3pm.
Just my little suggestion as it really is what I need to get through my days.
Prayers for you--I am there, and doing that.
Anne |
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Ha! Yeah, me too!
Monique
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monique
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| Posted: June 04 2008 at 6:22pm | IP Logged
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cactus mouse wrote:
I know you are exhausted. :( But - he knows it too. If he knows that once you get to that point, you just get too tired and he gets to do what he wants, he will use that (not always on purpose, he is only nine!, I don't think they always think it through like that - but they do learn early 'what works' iykwim) BUT - believe me when I tell you it is easier to stop bad habits at nine, than when they are teenagers. Because if he knows it works, if he knows he "won't really have to listen (like doing his schoolwork)" it won't get easier as he gets older.
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Oh my, you are so right!
Thanks for pointing that out.
Monique
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Mackfam
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Monique,
How much more school time does he have before you can declare the year officially over? Do you live in a state with a required number of days?
I would echo all of the advice Red gave you - right down to dropping the formal writing and language programs outright.
I've got a 7yo (almost 8yo) boy who fits right in with your description of your 9yo right down to the ADD/ADHD spectrum issues (never diagnosed, but a mom knows when things aren't just quite right.) It goes beyond "normal boy-ness" - does that make any sense? Anyway, I had to revamp EVERYTHING to fit his needs and engage him. Again, a very smart little guy, but if his hands and brain weren't actively working together for the good then he was complaining, daydreaming, avoiding, distracted, and generally not doing any work, school or otherwise.
Math was the biggest problem. He was a very capable little guy and I could see that, but MCP workbooks were killing him. It was like chinese water torture. Then I tried Saxon which I had used with my previous. Again, it didn't work. Finally, I dumped my entire approach with him last year and dove into Montessori work for him. We had been dabbling, but I never really comitted to Montessori before, nor did I use it as the bulk of a curriculum. Now, I'm not suggesting you go this route, but I will say that it opened my eyes to how much this child loved learning - I just hadn't been speaking his language before. He blossomed. It's my gut feeling that your guy may need some of the same sort of "hands-on" opportunities to express himself and to learn through to engage his mind and his hands.
Have you considered looking into Right Start Math or MUS as Red suggested? This summer would be a good time to do some soul searching regarding a curriculum change. I do understand the desire to use the resources you have on hand already because believe me, I've been there! But, if he's not going to learn from those sources, and both your frustration and his is going to eclipse any knowledge gained it could be worthwhile to consider making a switch for this child. I don't think you'll have a problem with gaps really, but I do understand this concern. I know Right Start has a set of transition lessons for the child who hasn't been in the program all the way through.
I'm suggesting a dump of all writing and language. I suggest dumping formal math. Play math games, allow math video games if you have any for a restricted amount of time. Require flash card review maybe to master facts. Something creative. Let him join in the morning activities you said he really enjoyed. Can you find some readers he really likes? Does he like sports? Matt Christopher has some neat books for boys. Perhaps you can get a basket and collect some books around the house that you think he is capable of reading and that you approve of and set them out. He may choose, but he has to choose from the basket. Perhaps a fun trip to the library with several titles already preselected by you. And get to the end of the year as fast as you can to give him a break.
I know you are exhausted and daunted by the amount of work. And it is clear that you are such a good mother to be so concerned about your little guy. It's been a long, arduous year for you. The stress of not having our husbands around on a regular basis is enough to leave anyone frazzled. I always look to military families when I struggle with this. Wives of men in the military are my hero's!!!!!! They handle it all!!!! I'm not sure I could do that if God asked that sort of sacrifice of me, but I do try to draw from what helps them cope. They have a very strong base of support from other families in the same situation. With summer here, this might be tough, but I was wondering if you were active in a local homeschooling group. Personalities run the spectrum, but it's comforting to know we're all in the same boat, all treading the same path. And there's generally much empathy and wisdom there. Active and regular participation in your local homeschool group might be able to offer you a little support and some practical ideas for how others cope in similar situations.
I've gotta run, Monique. Time to get my dd to horseback riding lessons. These are just my thoughts, and I don't have time to go back and proofread so I'm just going to hit post and hope there's something helpful in here for you to draw from. You've been on my mind and in my prayers!
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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Mackfam
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| Posted: June 05 2008 at 8:39am | IP Logged
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Forgot to say that THIS is the best place to come for support, sympathetic ears and great reviews and ideas on curriculum! So...stay here with us!!!
When you're looking into new programs for next year, or even old ones, you might consider searching for past conversations here. Just look on the top of this (and every) page - there's a little button between help and memberlist called search. Click it and it opens up a world of conversations had here in the past on every topic you can imagine!!! Chances are, somebody here has done it, tried it, loved it, hated it, looked into it, or lived it. My favorite place to research!!!
I'm out the door - prayers for you, Monique!
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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Tina P.
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I have two words to help simplify your day: slow cooker. I have a couple of books I like and use constantly. Fresh from the Vegetarian Slow Cooker and Fix it and Forget it. There's also a Fix it and Forget it 5 Ingredients or Less. I've never used this one yet, but I imagine it's for those days when it seems you have *nothing* that goes together in your pantry ... which seems to be an awful lot around here.  Where does all that food go?
Anyway, if you can get into the habit of thawing the meat a day ahead of time, you can prepare your meal before any of your little darlings wake up. It's hard for me to work in the kitchen when little ones are hungry and clamoring for my attention.
Monique, there have been some and sometimes SEVERAL months when we do absolutely nothing formal. They read. We discuss as naturally as possible (not quizzing to determine the level of reading comprehension). I read aloud slightly higher than their level of reading. They ask for definitions of difficult words. We discuss. We read bits of living math books. We discuss. We hike (or look out the window sometimes), we draw, we write in our nature journals. And guess what? We discuss. Is there a pattern starting here? 
When you're ready for grammar and spelling again, try CHC materials. I highly recommend them at this stage.
As for private prayer, I tend to do that while I'm preparing that slow cooked meal, sweeping the kitchen (there's a particular rhythm to this that lends itself to prayer), or just prior to falling asleep at night.
Hope I've helped in some small way.
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Tina, wife to one and mom to 9 + 3 in heaven
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monique
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Mackfam wrote:
Monique,
How much more school time does he have before you can declare the year officially over? Do you live in a state with a required number of days?
It would depend on how many lessons a week he did. If he did 6 a week he would be done by the first part of August. This, of course, is pushing it. That sort of schedule might drive us both crazy. So it's not very realistic. If he did 3 lessons a week it would be October. I was pleased when I figured this out the other day because I fully expected him to not be ready for grade 4 until January of 2008. I live in WY and I think we do have a number of required days, its quite a few like between 175-180 but no one checks up on you to see what you're doing so it doesn't really matter.
I would echo all of the advice Red gave you - right down to dropping the formal writing and language programs outright.
I think I could live with that. My hubby and I talked about this and we both agreed that would be doable.
I've got a 7yo (almost 8yo) boy who fits right in with your description of your 9yo right down to the ADD/ADHD spectrum issues (never diagnosed, but a mom knows when things aren't just quite right.) It goes beyond "normal boy-ness" - does that make any sense? Anyway, I had to revamp EVERYTHING to fit his needs and engage him. Again, a very smart little guy, but if his hands and brain weren't actively working together for the good then he was complaining, daydreaming, avoiding, distracted, and generally not doing any work, school or otherwise.
That sounds like an accurate description. He loves building things with lego, lincoln logs, you name it. You can see pictures of his wonderful creations at my blog. He is quite the engineer.
Math was the biggest problem. He was a very capable little guy and I could see that, but MCP workbooks were killing him. It was like chinese water torture. Then I tried Saxon which I had used with my previous. Again, it didn't work. Finally, I dumped my entire approach with him last year and dove into Montessori work for him. We had been dabbling, but I never really comitted to Montessori before, nor did I use it as the bulk of a curriculum. Now, I'm not suggesting you go this route, but I will say that it opened my eyes to how much this child loved learning - I just hadn't been speaking his language before. He blossomed. It's my gut feeling that your guy may need some of the same sort of "hands-on" opportunities to express himself and to learn through to engage his mind and his hands.
Have you considered looking into Right Start Math or MUS as Red suggested? This summer would be a good time to do some soul searching regarding a curriculum change. I do understand the desire to use the resources you have on hand already because believe me, I've been there! But, if he's not going to learn from those sources, and both your frustration and his is going to eclipse any knowledge gained it could be worthwhile to consider making a switch for this child. I don't think you'll have a problem with gaps really, but I do understand this concern. I know Right Start has a set of transition lessons for the child who hasn't been in the program all the way through.
I feel the same way--that we aren't speaking the same language. I have looked into MUS and DH and I seriously considering it. I don't know much about Montessori. You are right though because if he's frustrated, angry, mad I don't feel like he's learning. How can he?
I'm suggesting a dump of all writing and language. I suggest dumping formal math. Play math games, allow math video games if you have any for a restricted amount of time. Require flash card review maybe to master facts. Something creative. Let him join in the morning activities you said he really enjoyed. Can you find some readers he really likes? Does he like sports? Matt Christopher has some neat books for boys. Perhaps you can get a basket and collect some books around the house that you think he is capable of reading and that you approve of and set them out. He may choose, but he has to choose from the basket. Perhaps a fun trip to the library with several titles already preselected by you. And get to the end of the year as fast as you can to give him a break.
I know you are exhausted and daunted by the amount of work. And it is clear that you are such a good mother to be so concerned about your little guy. It's been a long, arduous year for you. The stress of not having our husbands around on a regular basis is enough to leave anyone frazzled. I always look to military families when I struggle with this. Wives of men in the military are my hero's!!!!!! They handle it all!!!! I'm not sure I could do that if God asked that sort of sacrifice of me, but I do try to draw from what helps them cope. They have a very strong base of support from other families in the same situation. With summer here, this might be tough, but I was wondering if you were active in a local homeschooling group. Personalities run the spectrum, but it's comforting to know we're all in the same boat, all treading the same path. And there's generally much empathy and wisdom there. Active and regular participation in your local homeschool group might be able to offer you a little support and some practical ideas for how others cope in similar situations.
All these sound like great ideas. It will be hard for me to let go of what I think he ought to be doing. We clearly don't learn the same way. So in some ways I think of this as a lot of my problem. I remember reading something Elizabeth wrote about if it's so hard then you're carry a cross that you shouldn't have to bear. I'm probably not quoting that right but I think about that a lot. What am I doing/not doing that is making this so hard for me/us? Unfortunately, we don't have a very active homeschool group here. I do know the person that runs it so I may start attending. It's not Catholic though. The one I'd like to go to is 40 miles away. They meet on the First Friday for Mass and meeting. With gas prices these days it makes that difficult.
I've gotta run, Monique. Time to get my dd to horseback riding lessons. These are just my thoughts, and I don't have time to go back and proofread so I'm just going to hit post and hope there's something helpful in here for you to draw from. You've been on my mind and in my prayers! |
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Thanks so much everyone! This is helping me get a better perspective on things around here. Sorry I can't get the quote thing to work right.
Monique
Raising Saints
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monique
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Joined: Sept 11 2007
Location: Wyoming
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 345
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| Posted: June 05 2008 at 10:12am | IP Logged
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[QUOTE=Tina P.] I have two words to help simplify your day: slow cooker. I have a couple of books I like and use constantly. Fresh from the Vegetarian Slow Cooker and Fix it and Forget it. There's also a Fix it and Forget it 5 Ingredients or Less. I've never used this one yet, but I imagine it's for those days when it seems you have *nothing* that goes together in your pantry ... which seems to be an awful lot around here. Where does all that food go?
Thanks so much for the tips. I have both those cookbooks!
I do meal plans and that has helped tremendously. I use my slow cooker on Tuesdays and sometimes on Wednesday. We do pasta on Monday, Tuesday is slow cooker, Wednesday is soup and/or sandwiches, Thurs is mexican night and Friday is fish. Saturdays and Sundays are also planned with family fave's.
Monique
who still is having problems with the quote button!
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Refusal to do Schoolwork and Exhaustion
