Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Elizabeth
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Posted: Dec 29 2006 at 4:44pm | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth

Are they real? Go tell Danielle what you think!

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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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hylabrook1
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Posted: Dec 29 2006 at 4:52pm | IP Logged Quote hylabrook1

Oh, my goodness! I HOPE you're all not imaginary!

Seriously, it is true that anything can be done in a way that is out of balance. The challenge to avoid going overboard is present with all sorts of things -- good as well as bad. BUT, it is invaluable to *know* other women who are walking the same walk and to share in their joys and sorrows, and to receive (as well as, I hope, to give) encouragement. Sometimes the energy we put into home and family can throw all sorts of things out of balance. All of you are very helpful in my staying *grounded*.

What could be more *real* than that?

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Elizabeth
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Posted: Dec 29 2006 at 4:54pm | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth

hylabrook1 wrote:
Oh, my goodness! I HOPE you're all not imaginary!



ROTFL! Me, too. Because if you are, I just spent a ridiculous amount of time on the phone in the past couple of days with imaginary people!

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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Martha
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Posted: Dec 29 2006 at 5:00pm | IP Logged Quote Martha

No, I'm just a grown-up version of your imaginary friend from childhood.

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Cay Gibson
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Posted: Dec 29 2006 at 5:12pm | IP Logged Quote Cay Gibson

hylabrook1 wrote:
Oh, my goodness! I HOPE you're all not imaginary!



Martha wrote:
No, I'm just a grown-up version of your imaginary friend from childhood.



You are all just so funny.


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Posted: Dec 29 2006 at 5:56pm | IP Logged Quote MacBeth

This is a funny thread. I had a question from one of the kids, and I "knew" a blogger who would have the answer, so I dropped him a note. He wrote right back, and my kids refer to him as one of my "friends" now. Goodness, blogging has miniaturized the world!

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Cay Gibson
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Posted: Dec 29 2006 at 7:04pm | IP Logged Quote Cay Gibson

And all those darling Christmas cards I received.

Those would take some explaining to do. Especially the number of children you all had to borrow.

Of course, having relatives view your Christmas cards and photos and ask "Who are these people?" makes the world of Internet friendships a blaring reality.

When you answer: "They're friends I met on the Internet." It sounds strange and you know exactly what your relatives are thinking.

It's better to answer: "Oh, they're my friends from Colorado, New York, Virginia, California, Texas, etc. etc."

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JennGM
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Posted: Dec 29 2006 at 7:15pm | IP Logged Quote JennGM

I was just about to say, those Christmas cards were such a joy to receive. Receiving those in the mail made it more tangible to my dh. He just said that he's happy I'm expanding my friendships.

So some ways this is 4REAL? How about the outpouring of prayers for others? And charity, such as Donna's tree ornaments? The books sent to Jennifer (JSchaaf) after she lost everything in Katrina? Financial help for some other members?

How about the sweet little baby items sent to new moms, like for Elizabeth's Karoline, posted on her blog?

Those are tangibles...

I've met a few women/families in person on this board. They are wonderful, inspiring and REAL women, with beautiful families. I've received phone calls (and made them) to members. I've even received flowers when I was sick.

I've found great advice, consolation, support, witness, charity and love from members of this board. Do I exclusively find it here? No. But it's awfully wonderful to have.

I found my husband online, so I'm not too fearful of letting the internet bring us together, and then bringing it into real life as much as I can.

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Dawn
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Posted: Dec 29 2006 at 7:20pm | IP Logged Quote Dawn

Cay Gibson wrote:
Of course, having relatives view your Christmas cards and photos and ask "Who are these people?" makes the world of Internet friendships a blaring reality.


!

Except for my closest relatives - mum and dad especially - they all know you ladies because I'm always talking about you all. Cay, my dad knew exactly who you were when he saw your card on my bulletin board! They understand how real a presence you all are in my life.

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teachingmyown
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Posted: Dec 29 2006 at 7:22pm | IP Logged Quote teachingmyown

My teenage son mocks me all the time for talking about my "friends"! He will ask me "but have you met that person?". What he doesn't get is that what we share here is not something that we can go out into our neighborhoods to find. Even among the homeschoolers that I know personally, there isn't a lot of time for lengthy, personal conversations like the range of topics that we share here. Also, just because those ladies are also Catholic homeschoolers doesn't mean that we share the same educational philosophy, or child-rearing ideas, etc.

I don't know where I would be without 4Real. I believe that it is a good thing for my family. I also know that I have to be careful about the time I allow it to take up, especially at times when I am in need of support and tend to hang around the computer instead of doing what needs to be done. But, I know that there are people who will criticize this online community idea, only to spend hours on the phone, or in pursuit of "me time" away from their families. Even if we get a little carried away sometimes, we are here with our families, devoting all we have. Just think of it as our "car-pool line" or mom's group!

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Posted: Dec 29 2006 at 8:03pm | IP Logged Quote J.Anne

I agree with everything posted. I was so clueless as we embarked upon this homeschooling adventure. Now I have all these wonderful, helpful people who are so generous with advice. And the Christmas cards were wonderful - tangible proof as Jenn said. When I talk about you all, I always laughingly refer to you as "my imaginary friend ______ from ______" My husband knows if I am on the computer and laughing that it's Margaret from Minnesota. I think there is a misunderstanding as to what this really is - and more so that there are so many different forums. My goodness, you all listen to me go on and on about things more than my sisters do. And people who pray for you on hard days? Those are your friends. I am so grateful!

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insegnante
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Posted: Dec 29 2006 at 9:10pm | IP Logged Quote insegnante

Did any of you ever have pen pals growing up? I did. And I've heard of apparently normal adults who had long-term pen pals, even situations like readers and famous authors becoming friends of a sort via letters. If you aren't intentionally running away from real life with message board friends because they don't "burden" you the way family and in-person acquaintances can, then I don't think it is difficult to keep in perspective what you don't know about people because you haven't met them. It may be easier than it sometimes is to remember you don't necessarily know some real life people as well as you think!

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Cay Gibson
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Posted: Dec 29 2006 at 10:04pm | IP Logged Quote Cay Gibson

teachingmyown wrote:
But, I know that there are people who will criticize this online community idea, only to spend hours on the phone, or in pursuit of "me time" away from their families. Even if we get a little carried away sometimes, we are here with our families, devoting all we have.



So many excellent points made.
This is so true, Molly. Even if we do an occasional Mother's Night Out in real life, I know we don't do no where near what some mothers I know do. The weekly luncheons, the movies out with their friends, taking cruises, etc. Anytime I'm at the movies or out for lunch, 9 times out of 10 I have my children with me. And I like it that way.

So the whole debate is rather silly, isn't it?

I really think the online communities and blogs that we choose to read are helping to make us better mothers/wives/Catholics. I really do.

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Cay Gibson
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Posted: Dec 29 2006 at 10:07pm | IP Logged Quote Cay Gibson

Cay Gibson wrote:
Anytime I'm at the movies or out for lunch, 9 times out of 10 I have my children with me. And I like it that way.




On second thought just make that 10 out of 10 times. Even if I go to a Pampered Chef party or Mother's Night Out I bring my girls with me.

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Cay Gibson
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Posted: Dec 29 2006 at 11:09pm | IP Logged Quote SuzanneG

Cay Gibson wrote:
Even if I go to a Pampered Chef party or Mother's Night Out I bring my girls with me.


This is so smart; i never thought of that,.....what a great way to "introduce" / "teach" about cooking skills, products, and of course......havin' FUN in the kitchen and socializing!

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Posted: Dec 30 2006 at 1:58am | IP Logged Quote Erin

Only today my dc were talking about friendships and I smiled when I heard them say "mum has friends all over the world" I talk about you to my dc and it has expanded their world knowledge and it certainly helps us to think of others when we are praying for different ones on 4real. The dc still are amazed that Americans had not heard of pavlova and are waiting to see if anyone tried the reciepe and liked it.

I was challenged on this topic recently when I read an article by a prominent Catholic here in Oz criticising online Catholic websites and blogging. He did have some important points I felt, ones we have discussed here such as limiting our time online.

Other points included uncharitablness and bashing the clergy. I have to say that these points just DO NOT occur here. One I had a giggle at was that blogging took away from paid writers, I thought well Elizabeth and Lissa don't see it like that and I thanked God for their generosity.

In fact I thank God for the generosity of all the women here in sharing their wisdom and knowledge here on posts and in your blogs. The conclusion I came to that was whilst the internet has the potential to get out of control and you could live life vicarously via the internet (and I know people who do)it can also be a door to wonderful friendships. for me I decided I LOVE the friendships here thank you for keeping me recharged and on fire.

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Posted: Dec 30 2006 at 8:58am | IP Logged Quote Martha

why that's just illogical

uncharitablness and clergy bashing has nothing to do with blogging

it's not as though if blogging stopped those things would stop as well

blogging does give many people a written outlet, paid or otherwise

I think that's a GREAT thing. It used to be that only a select few could say who was worthy of publishing or being produced and many great artists were probably lost in the shuffle. Now anyone can get their voice heard in various formats. Yeah, some of it really stinks. But some of it is also amazingly talented, beautiful and helpful. I think it's fascinating that the good stuff still makes it to the top in the sifting. People aren't as dumb as the media would have us believe.

Like I commented to Danielle's blog, all of these arguements could also be allpied to so many other areas of our lives. It's not about the tv or the blog. It's about priorities and self-control.

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Posted: Dec 30 2006 at 10:40am | IP Logged Quote guitarnan

Life is all about connecting people, resources and opportunities. That's what "support groups" and "networks" are for...and online communities are just extensions of those brick-and-mortar connections. We're human, so some of our communities, online or otherwise, are flawed, and some are downright sinful.

And some are lifelines, true God-sent lifelines.

Generous, faith-filled people, sharing prayer and support and information, so that all of us can educate our children for Heaven...if that's "imaginary," I choose to be like Puddleglum in The Silver Chair, and live in Narnia even if there's no Narnia. I can't possibly live out my vocation any other way.

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Posted: Dec 30 2006 at 11:23am | IP Logged Quote Lissa

LOL, Nancy, I like that! It really is funny. I read the beginning of this thread last night just before heading over to Erica's for her Christmas party. I wouldn't even be LIVING in this house, or in this part of San Diego County, if it weren't for my "imaginary" friends!

Earlier that day I received some lovely surprises in the mail...the most adorable teapot I have ever seen in my life from a certain dear 4Real friend I haven't even thanked yet (um, THANK YOU, you absolute sweetheart!!--the girls went wild over it!!!)...

...and a sourdough starter & crock from one of the first friends I made online back in 1995. She's been reading about my foray into bread-baking, and when she drew my name in our annual Secret Santa exchange (this is a group of us who met on the AOL pregnancy boards back when most of us were expecting our first babies), she knew just what to give me. She even knew that I would flip over the blue-and-white crock for storing the starter, because she came to see me in VA before we moved and saw all my blue & white flowerpots everywhere. This friend went home with one of my looms, because I knew I wouldn't have room to store it and she has always had a hankering to try weaving.

Oh my goodness, I could go on and on about the richness of internet friendships. I posted about it not long ago, but there are tons more stories I could tell. Meeting up with Karen E in Kansas was one of the high points of our drive west, and then the triple delight of a visit with Mary G, Mary M, and Gwen!! Maybe I just WILL write another post. I have been unbelievably blessed by online relationships. Unbelievably!

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Posted: Dec 30 2006 at 12:00pm | IP Logged Quote alicegunther

All so very true, Lissa. In my comment on Danielle's blog yesterday, I listed your cross country trip and reception in California as the perfect example of the reality of online communities and friendships.

I would also add that blogs help enhance IRL friendships as well. I love knowing all the details of your day in a way that phone calls might not completely cover. Also, I think blogging has brought me even closer to Mary Ellen and helped me keep in daily contact with Helen in a way that would be impossible given the distance between our homes. Now that Leticia has a blog, I am enjoying taking a peek into her home each day also.

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