Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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CrunchyMom
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Posted: Sept 26 2009 at 11:03am | IP Logged Quote CrunchyMom

Angie Mc wrote:
cactus mouse wrote:
what do you do if you have no real affinity towards the Rosary?


I pray the rosary...anyway.
I don't have an affinity for exercise...I exercise anyway.
I don't have an affinity for eating vegetables...I eat them anyway.

Why? Feelings, shmeelings! Just because I don't feel like something is right for me, doesn't mean it isn't right for me. In fact, often, I most need exactly what I'm fighting against. Also...thoughts, shmoughts! The challenge of having options (praying the rosary is optional) for me is that I can get trapped in an never-ending cycle of decision-making..."Should I exercise or not today? Should I eat vegetables or not today? Should I pray the rosary or not today?" For me it is most helpful to make a decision and commit, then even when I fail (and I will fail) I can at least offer up my failure as an act of humility and suffering in my humility.

I pray the rosary, however poorly and regardless of my feelings and thoughts on any given day, because it is objectively powerful and beautiful...because it is a perfect rose among many beautiful flowers of devotion. Praying the rosary is a means to holiness (it helps to conform my strong will) and unites me with others who pray the rosary, today and throughout time. I have realistic expectations of how much (I have built up to a full Mystery), how often (daily) and with what level of attention I can give at this point in my young soul's life (toddler steps) so I (mostly) avoid discouragement. I also see praying the rosary daily as the most practical way to develop the habit and an act of obedience because praying the rosary doesn't come easily to me.     

I can't imagine judging the faith of others or being judged on my faith by whether or not I pray the rosary...I can't! Yet, judging is it's own issue and doesn't take away from the objective truth of the power and beauty of the rosary.

Now I'm going to risk going beyond my own experience and *invite* (as Pope John Paul II invited me) anyone who is struggling with this issue to move beyond the struggle and "just do it." You decide and commit to a plan (like an exercise or vegetable eating plan) - to how much and when and then... do it! When you fail (and you most likely will) offer up your failure then jump back on track and do it! Sure it may be difficult at times but this point should *reassure* you (because it can be difficult) not discourage you! Look at this as a habit that will take the rest of your life to master and a mystery that isn't meant to be solved...so go easy on yourself today! Flex your obedience muscles! Trust that God knows you are trying to please Him and only Him! Ask Our Lady for help...she will!

Love,


Thanks for posting that. I can't know if it was helpful to Laura or not, but I needed to hear it for myself.

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Posted: Sept 26 2009 at 1:05pm | IP Logged Quote MarilynW

Ditto to Angie's post. I had been trying to post for days - but Angie expressed it in a way I was unable to.

Also to add - what has helped me with rosary devotions is reading the lives of the saints - and looking at the lives of many of the wonderful women on this forum - who had such a strong devotion to the rosary - and this has inspired me.

I would really recommend the Mother Teresa and Mary book - a real inspiration.

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Posted: Sept 26 2009 at 1:38pm | IP Logged Quote Willa

cactus mouse wrote:

but...don't sentiments like "try these different ways to incorporate it" or "so-and-so *used to* not like it" still give the impression that i should be saying it, or learning to like it?


I think that came about because in your first post, it sounded like you wanted to have an affinity or regretted not having one. So people replied in that vein.

The Rosary is so highly recommended, though not essential.   

That being said, I have a lot of trouble saying the Rosary. Sleepiness, distraction, forgetfulness, difficulty with multi-tasking, fears I'm doing it too carelessly or not getting through at a fast enough pace. You name it, I struggle with it.

For years I struggled with the Marian aspect of it, because I am a convert and the Church's doctrine on Our Blessed Mother was the last wall to fall.   I had to assent with dark faith to that, in order to convert.   Thank heavens, I no longer feel that dislike to the Marian aspect, but the rest still challenges me, and too often, I give in and let the Rosary slide.   That's another one of my issues -- letting difficult things slide. So the Rosary is a humbling experience to me -- wrestling with my worst problems.

I think it was in Diary of a Country Priest that one of the characters, an old priest, would dampen his Rosary beads with sweat -- it was that hard for him to get through it.

Many days, I don't get all the way through the Rosary. I know a lot of Catholics locally who receive the sacraments and live Catholic lives, who don't even know the Hail Mary or Our Father by heart. If you polled Mass-going Catholics I bet daily Rosary-sayers would be a minority.

I am sure that making Rosaries and the like is a form of Rosary devotion itself.   And maybe if we are in a community like this one there is something like a treasury going on where our Rosaries help each other. I hope so anyway.



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Posted: Sept 26 2009 at 2:28pm | IP Logged Quote stellamaris

Willa wrote:



For years I struggled with the Marian aspect of it, because I am a convert and the Church's doctrine on Our Blessed Mother was the last wall to fall.   I had to assent with dark faith to that, in order to convert.   



In my process of conversion, I also struggled with the whole idea of Marian devotion. Finally, I decided to pray about it in this way, "Dear Jesus, help me to love your mother as much as You did." How can Jesus be displeased if we love Mary as He did? The fruit of this persistent prayer has been a wonderful flowering of love for the Blessed Mother in my life.

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Posted: Oct 02 2009 at 8:38am | IP Logged Quote Karen T

As a convert from protestantism, I did not easily learn to love the rosary. In fact, for the first 25 years after I converted I never said it unless I happened to be with a group who was saying it. Gradually, I started feeling like you, that I *should* be saying it more and wanting to like it/love it. I didn't know the mysteries, got lost on the beads, etc. (I still have trouble saying the Apostle's creed, even though I grew up saying that one, I'm so used to the Nicene now at church!) Over the last few years I tried to say it more often but it was still a struggle. Two things changed for me. First, I was given a wonderful CD only on the Luminous mysteries several years ago, with music by Matt Maher. (I recently tried to find out if they'd made all the mysteries but no luck) Second, I started going to Adoration regularly almost a year ago and would pray the rosary there. Then I tried to commit to saying at least a decade daily on the other days, and I've really been blessed with an increased affinity for it.

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Posted: Oct 07 2009 at 9:01am | IP Logged Quote Cay Gibson

Memorial of Our Lady of the Rosary
"The Rosary purifies your heart, mind, and your soul. I encourage you to make the Rosary a part of your life. See for yourself what amazing things our heavenly mother will do in your life."

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Posted: Oct 07 2009 at 1:21pm | IP Logged Quote Maggie


You know...back in college, I remember telling my spiritual director that I had developed a strong distaste for the Rosary...that even saying it seemed to irritate me...but I kept saying it. However, I wanted to stop praying it and move onto something else that seemed to fit me better spiritually.

He told me this, "Maggie, there is a beautiful obedience in saying the Rosary, even if you do not want to or feel like you aren't getting anything from it. Just be obedient and do it."

And so I did...but I rarely had a glimpse into a profound experience saying it...on very rare occasions...other than that...it was hard to say.

The same thing happened to me before I made my Consecration the the Blessed Virgin. There are 30 days of prayers you say before you make the Consecration. 5 days out, I told my spiritual director I had stopped the prayers and was not going to make the Consecration. You see, I was playing hard-ball...and was stubborn...and had seriously stopped liking anything to do with the devotion.

He told me this, "I don't care if you have stopped saying the prayers. You will make your Consecration on Saturday."

Man! I thought with my attitude that I was off the hook! But...no...

So I made my Consecration.

And from that point on, it felt like a little flame--a real flame!--burned in my heart...and I was grateful to my spiritual director for showing me the importance of obedience.

Over the years (and our two children), I rarely pulled out my Rosary beads...until...we became enrolled in the Brown Scapular at the end of August...and I have been trying so hard to say my Rosary every day since, though, it has been terribly difficult at times...

But the word "obedience" keeps coming back to me...and though I have not seen my previous spiritual director in over 6 years...his face and tone of voice and everything come back.

And so...I can't help but want to pass that story on, for what it is worth...because I have struggled immensely with this over the past 8 years or so...

To echo Angie Mc..."Just Do It..." Don't over think it...be as humble as a child...and offer each Hail Mary as a rose to our Blessed Mother...not because you want to...but because it is for our Mother, who is Queen of All the Heavens and the Earth.

My only regret is the 8 years or so where I neglected to say my Rosary...and was even defiant...all those graces and roses for Our Lady...

Big Hugs to all who struggle with this!! Please do not downplay the affects of the evil one--and his temptations and "rationalizations" as to why you should not say the Rosary...I truly believe he is behind a lot of that in our world and in our Church.

Pick up your Rosary as a soldier picks up his weapon...and battle on, forge on!

With love and much encouragement

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Posted: Oct 08 2009 at 9:36pm | IP Logged Quote Marcia

Maggie! well said!

Last month my pastor chose The Secret of the Rosary as the book we would study ( by St. Louis de Montfort). It has been SO eye opening to me. We read 5 roses a week and talk about them for about 1.5 hours each week. There are five of us in the "book study" group that meets at my house! It's been so good for me to realize that the Rosary is necessary! It's really just saying back to Jesus (sometimes through Mary) what the Angel said and St. Elizabeth said to her. And saying the perfect prayer that Jesus taught us.

I as a convert to Catholicism had trouble with the praying of the roasry in a large group, but am warming up to the idea (after 12 years). I find it easier to meditate on the mysteries if I am by myself.

you can read more about the confraternity of the holy rosary at www.rosary-center.org
come and join me there. The rosary has saved many a souls.

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Posted: Oct 08 2009 at 9:51pm | IP Logged Quote aussieannie

I was inspired by your thoughts as well Maggie, thank you!

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Posted: Oct 09 2009 at 12:50pm | IP Logged Quote stmonica

Marcia, I am so glad you are reading that book. What a treasure! If anyone is having a hard time praying the rosary, read what St. Louis de Montfort gives you "permission" to do. I truly believe he understood mothers which is why this works so well and brings about so many fruits so quickly!
An older mater et magestra article

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Posted: Oct 10 2009 at 6:21am | IP Logged Quote mariB

I wrote about this on my blog Catholic Moonlight in Vermont last year.
Page 72 in Mary Fabyan Windeatt's book "Pauline Jaricot" was such a beautiful way of explaining the Rosary. Now I hope I can link!

It made me see the Rosary in a new light!!! ...AND THE "WHY" of the Rosary!

http://catholicmoonlightinvermont.blogspot.com/2008/09/talki ng-about-faith-and-prayer.htmlIt made me see the Rosary in a new light!!!

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Posted: Oct 10 2009 at 5:18pm | IP Logged Quote folklaur

i wanted to thank you all so very much for your thoughts and opinions on this issue.

although, i will be honest and admit that i am still hearing a double message (as in: "you don't *have* to pray the rosary to be a Catholic, but if you are Catholic, you should do it anyway"), i will also take everything everyone has said and shared to heart, and likely give it another try....

thank you ladies!
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Posted: Oct 10 2009 at 5:45pm | IP Logged Quote Bookswithtea



Laura, fwiw, I think there really are many many wonderful traditions and devotions that our Holy Church offers. I think its perfectly ok if you feel led to a different devotion than is common. When I first converted, I went through a time where I felt like I needed to be more like the Catholic hs moms I knew IRL (most of them used MODG and prayed the rosary daily). It just wasn't a good fit for my family, and it wasn't me. After much prayer, it came to me that God calls everyone individually, and that my background in protestantism wasn't a handicap. It was just my background. And God loves me whether I prayed the rosary and used MODG...or not.

Prayer and relationship with Jesus is key. How you go about that is individual. I would be surprised if I ever have the level of Marian devotion that many cradle Catholic have. That would take heavenly intercession, I am sure.

I'd pray how you feel led. If the Good Lord wants you to pray the rosary, He will let you know. I wouldn't let it bug you.

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Posted: Oct 10 2009 at 7:25pm | IP Logged Quote Angie Mc

I'm so glad you are going to give the rosary another try, Laura. Each day we can give it another try, together.

cactus mouse wrote:
although, i will be honest and admit that i am still hearing a double message (as in: "you don't *have* to pray the rosary to be a Catholic, but if you are Catholic, you should do it anyway"), !


I want to make sure I'm being careful here with my words. This is a pretty special topic so I would hate to be misunderstood or misleading. I don't see myself as giving a double message. If I understand what a double message is, it is a negative thing, like giving mixed messages or saying one thing and meaning another. I hope that I'm saying two distinct, complimentary, and positive messages. Message one: The Church herself does not obligate Catholics to say the rosary. Message two: Praying the rosary is a good thing, even when it is hard.

All "shoulds" that I have shared here have been my own.

Love,

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Posted: Oct 10 2009 at 8:13pm | IP Logged Quote SeaStar

The Fifteen Promises Mary makes to those who say the Rosary

This is so inspiring... it is one of the things that has made me devoted to the Rosary. I especially love promise #9... that Mary will personally and promptly (I love how she puts promptly in there) deliver from purgatory all souls devoted to the rosary.

Saying the rosary, even imperfectly, brings abundant graces not only to yourself but to many others, which is a good reason to keep on plugging away at it, even if it's not your favorite.

But if you are feeling uneasy about the Rosary, consider going to the source: ask Mary herself for help.   She was busy and distracted in her life; I *am sure* she understands how you feel. And she will be delighted to help you.

Another thing you can do is ask your guardian angel to say the rosary with you.

I always found in the past that it was not disliking the rosary or not having an affinity for it that was keeping me from saying it, it was purely my own laziness. I wanted to use the time for other things. The more I learned about the 15 promises and the history of the rosary, the more I have grown to love it. Then having a very sick child with a scary and uncertain future made me cling to it even more. Now the Hail Marys are like candy for me- can't get enough!

Our retired bishop always says that the rosary is the most powerful weapon in the world. He does not consider it as only a prayer.. it is a powerful weapon. I think of that every time I pick up the rosary... it is not just a set of beads... it has the power through Jesus to change the world.



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Posted: Oct 10 2009 at 8:59pm | IP Logged Quote stellamaris

Just chiming in here to add that, while I love the Rosary and it is truly a powerful spiritual weapon and a beautiful and uniquely Catholic meditation, the greatest prayer for us as Catholics is the Mass. I sometimes see people praying the Rosary during Mass. This is not really appropriate. When Mass is being said, it is the top priority and one's attention should be focused on it, the foundation and summit of our entire Christian life. A priest once told me the three greatest prayers of the Church are, in order of importance, the Mass, the Divine Office, and then the Rosary. While I would strongly urge anyone to continue to pray the Rosary as regularly as possible, maybe the Divine Office would be more appealing to you. Another thought is just to offer the Mass with more love and attention, truly assisting at the Divine Sacrifice. The more deeply we united ourselves to Christ, the more efficacious our prayers will be.

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Posted: Oct 11 2009 at 11:22pm | IP Logged Quote CathN

I just read this thread and a lot has been said but I'm hoping I can offer you what I think you are asking for - empathy. I think you migh want to wrap up the discussion now but I wanted to try to offer you something different.

I'm going to guess some things and they may well be WAY off but I'll confess I'm practicing my empathy skills as well.

I'm hearing that when you hear (either actual or implied) that you *should* be saying the rosary, you feel unsettled, reluctant and a bit despondent. I am wondering if that is because you need to give your "yes" to saying the rosary willingly? As opposed to unwillingly, fearfully, dutifully or expectantly.

I sense that you long for a genuine and deep connection with God and Mary [real affinity]. I sense that you long for acceptance by other Catholics [in Catholic circles it is so often seen as a given that if you are a good Catholic, you say the rosary]. I sensed that you wanted some reassurance that others struggled this way [am i the only one who feels this way?]

But underneath all this seems to be the desire to emulate Jesus' and Mary's willing "yes" in this particular area, out of love, and not obligation, duty, fear etc?

I am drawn to think about the older son in the prodigal son parable, who said "yes" to his father all those years, but unwillingly, and in the end he missed out on his father's blessing, not because the father was holding back, but because he wasn't open to receiving it.

I think (my opinion) that God would rather hear us say an honest "no" than an unwilling "yes". And let me clarify that one can suffer through a devotion they don't like WILLINGLY, because they WANT to offer it, and that is not the same as doing it unwillingly or dutifully. I think that is why many people here have experienced graces from doing that - not because they just did it because someone told them it was a good idea, but because they made a willing and conscious choice to do it despite the suffering they experienced. Does that make sense?

It's like our disposition when we go to Mass - it doesn't affect the Sacrament, but we receive many more graces when we are open and willing to receive them.

So I'm wondering if you'd like to request of yourself to honestly answer the question of whether you really would be WILLING to "give it another go" using some of the ideas from others in this forum. If the answer is "no" maybe you might request some self-acceptance from yourself and for God to let you know He accepts you as you are, regardless of the devotions you use.

I hope that helps. I struggle with the rosary too! And actually I buck up at anything that has a whiff of demand about it (just ask my kids! ).

I really mourn when I see some of the language the Church employs (such as duty, obedience, days of obligation etc) because I really value fostering genuine connection with God and I believe that such language (when not properly understood) actually acts as a barrier. In my own experience (and thinking through my own weaknesses!) when most people hear "demands" we mostly either dig our heels in or obey because we've been conditioned to. It's something I am "unlearning"! and really trying to find my willingness instead.



And finally, mainly for others in this forum actually, I wanted to share another way to engage in the rosary (this is the only way I have EVER found that gels with me) and that is to meditate on the mystery and my intention at the same time - ie let the mystery illuminate the intention and the intention illuminate the mystery.

I have intentions on prayer cards that I rotate through and for example one day I might pray for the Pope with the Annunciation. This leads to a quite different meditation than praying for the Pope with the Garden of Gethsemane or the Baptism of the Lord and it results in both the mysteries and the intentions are "fresh" and I can deepen my understanding of both (who/what I am praying for and the mystery)


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Posted: Oct 12 2009 at 12:17am | IP Logged Quote folklaur

Angie Mc wrote:
If I understand what a double message is, it is a negative thing, like giving mixed messages or saying one thing and meaning another.


ack! no, no, Angie, i didn't mean it that way.

please forgive for expressing myself so poorly.i'm sorry!
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Posted: Oct 12 2009 at 12:18am | IP Logged Quote folklaur

CathN wrote:
I just read this thread and a lot has been said but I'm hoping I can offer you what I think you are asking for - empathy. I think you migh want to wrap up the discussion now but I wanted to try to offer you something different.

I'm going to guess some things and they may well be WAY off but I'll confess I'm practicing my empathy skills as well.

I'm hearing that when you hear (either actual or implied) that you *should* be saying the rosary, you feel unsettled, reluctant and a bit despondent. I am wondering if that is because you need to give your "yes" to saying the rosary willingly? As opposed to unwillingly, fearfully, dutifully or expectantly.

I sense that you long for a genuine and deep connection with God and Mary [real affinity]. I sense that you long for acceptance by other Catholics [in Catholic circles it is so often seen as a given that if you are a good Catholic, you say the rosary]. I sensed that you wanted some reassurance that others struggled this way [am i the only one who feels this way?]

But underneath all this seems to be the desire to emulate Jesus' and Mary's willing "yes" in this particular area, out of love, and not obligation, duty, fear etc?

I am drawn to think about the older son in the prodigal son parable, who said "yes" to his father all those years, but unwillingly, and in the end he missed out on his father's blessing, not because the father was holding back, but because he wasn't open to receiving it.

I think (my opinion) that God would rather hear us say an honest "no" than an unwilling "yes". And let me clarify that one can suffer through a devotion they don't like WILLINGLY, because they WANT to offer it, and that is not the same as doing it unwillingly or dutifully. I think that is why many people here have experienced graces from doing that - not because they just did it because someone told them it was a good idea, but because they made a willing and conscious choice to do it despite the suffering they experienced. Does that make sense?

It's like our disposition when we go to Mass - it doesn't affect the Sacrament, but we receive many more graces when we are open and willing to receive them.

So I'm wondering if you'd like to request of yourself to honestly answer the question of whether you really would be WILLING to "give it another go" using some of the ideas from others in this forum. If the answer is "no" maybe you might request some self-acceptance from yourself and for God to let you know He accepts you as you are, regardless of the devotions you use.

I hope that helps. I struggle with the rosary too! And actually I buck up at anything that has a whiff of demand about it (just ask my kids! ).

I really mourn when I see some of the language the Church employs (such as duty, obedience, days of obligation etc) because I really value fostering genuine connection with God and I believe that such language (when not properly understood) actually acts as a barrier. In my own experience (and thinking through my own weaknesses!) when most people hear "demands" we mostly either dig our heels in or obey because we've been conditioned to. It's something I am "unlearning"! and really trying to find my willingness instead.



And finally, mainly for others in this forum actually, I wanted to share another way to engage in the rosary (this is the only way I have EVER found that gels with me) and that is to meditate on the mystery and my intention at the same time - ie let the mystery illuminate the intention and the intention illuminate the mystery.

I have intentions on prayer cards that I rotate through and for example one day I might pray for the Pope with the Annunciation. This leads to a quite different meditation than praying for the Pope with the Garden of Gethsemane or the Baptism of the Lord and it results in both the mysteries and the intentions are "fresh" and I can deepen my understanding of both (who/what I am praying for and the mystery)




welcome to the forum!

just wanted to say that, and also thank you for such a thoughtful post. i am going to go read it again!
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