Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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MarieA
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Posted: Jan 07 2009 at 5:08pm | IP Logged Quote MarieA

The book The Hidden Power of Kindness by Fr. Lovasik has been one of my favorites since I came across it several years ago. It contains step by step directions on how become kinder. I keep my copy next to my bed.


Marie

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Philothea
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Posted: Jan 07 2009 at 6:12pm | IP Logged Quote Philothea

Hmmm. I have that book somewhere. I need to find it.
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Posted: Jan 07 2009 at 6:32pm | IP Logged Quote MarilynW

Philothea wrote:
I'm just so far behind all of you. "Gentle Woman" the hymn makes me profoundly uncomfortable, I squirm the whole way through it. I was raised by a mother who obviously resented being home and raised me to "do better for myself." So I'm conflicted about being home myself. Morally, I know it is the right thing to do, so I stick with it, but I don't really enjoy it and my husband and kids are getting the short end of the stick in many ways.

I want to enjoy it.


I think it is partly too that our culture is so non supportive of stay at home motherhood (not to even mention homeschooling) and it is often seen as the less attractive option - that women will be so much happier if they are out there in the workforce and having a life.

I really recommend Sally Clarkson's Mission of Motherhood

Also so many of Donna Marie Cooper O'Boyle's books - I especially love the Catholic Prayerbook for Mothers. Such beautiful prayers for every day

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juststartn
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Posted: Jan 07 2009 at 10:01pm | IP Logged Quote juststartn

One thing I think that ought to be said about the Duggars and their industrial appliances in the kitchen--they got them at a VASTLY reduced price, at a restaurant closing auction...this was mentioned in one of the episodes about their "new" house...

They do get alot of their things used/second hand...their "new" big traveling bus was purchased that way--online, second hand, from, of all things, a traveling hockey team (I think it was hockey...). It was already set up with the bunk beds for 15.

I am sure that the income from the series/shows has been very helpful, esp as those boys in the middle have hit the teen years (feeding them...arghhh...one of the boys' favorite rooms in the new house, was the pantry--cause of all of the food!    ). I can't imagine how much food they eat (although my twins are eating a dozen eggs each morning..so I am afraid I will know before too much longer... )...

Rachel



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Posted: Jan 08 2009 at 6:37am | IP Logged Quote Philothea

WARNING, bunny trail:

Another thing to consider regarding the industrial appliances is that even brand new, they are much cheaper than similar products rated for residential use. They probably had to get a code exemption (or maybe not, since I believe their house is also a school and church for tax purposes) to even install them. Restaurant appliances lack the insulation that makes something like a Wolf or Viking range safe for home use -- you can get burned brushing up against them, they would destroy cabinets placed against them, and they make the kitchen very, very hot. That lack of insulation makes them cheaper but impractical for most homeowners.

/bunny trail

(-Philothea, who is going through a major kitchen renovation and now knows more than she should about appliances.)
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afranciscan
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Posted: Jan 13 2009 at 4:04pm | IP Logged Quote afranciscan

Here is Michelle in what might have been a frustrating situation in front of the camera:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uidWs05kyVE

It definitely gave me a more of a real life perspective on them. I'm really wanting to watch their shows but we don't get the chanels so I've been watching all that I can find on YouTube. And don't miss the video clips on the Discovery Health website - I assume some of them might be also on the shows.

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Paula in MN
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Posted: Jan 13 2009 at 4:54pm | IP Logged Quote Paula in MN

afranciscan wrote:
Here is Michelle in what might have been a frustrating situation in front of the camera:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uidWs05kyVE

Amazing!!

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Cay Gibson
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Posted: Jan 13 2009 at 9:35pm | IP Logged Quote Cay Gibson

afranciscan wrote:
Here is Michelle in what might have been a frustrating situation in front of the camera:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uidWs05kyVE

It definitely gave me a more of a real life perspective on them.


Definitely.
Dh and I and my youngest just watched it and I admit...when the little girl started smacking her shoes together I said, "I think I would have snapped right there."

DH: "Naw...you'd have snapped way before that. The camera man would have been scared and called in Stephen King."

Such a witty guy.

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Posted: Jan 14 2009 at 9:57am | IP Logged Quote Bookswithtea

That was so funny! I wish more of that would end up on tv. I think the best shows are the ones where kids are just being kids...not naughty...childlike, kwim?

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Posted: Jan 14 2009 at 11:41am | IP Logged Quote afranciscan

Here is another one where Michelle talks about the noise level:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UufYOECOMMM

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Posted: Jan 14 2009 at 8:50pm | IP Logged Quote Theresa

I just finished the book and I enjoyed it. I thought they were very open and honest about many of their struggles and answered alot of financial questions that I think many people have with more information than I maybe would have given.



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SuzanneG
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Posted: Jan 16 2009 at 1:47pm | IP Logged Quote SuzanneG

The discussion of being MEEK and QUIET from this thread has been very fruitful and deserves it's own thread.

Discussion specifcally on this topic has been moved here:

Meek and Quiet Mothering

Please continue!

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Posted: Jan 16 2009 at 4:37pm | IP Logged Quote afranciscan

If you, like me, have not had access to all the Duggar episodes then you might be interested in this DVD due out on Feb 17:
http://shopping.discovery.com/product-74932.html

It also includes (I think) all of the past episodes from previous years. At $19.99 it's a pretty reasonable buy - compared to upgrading so we get that channel - and no commercials!

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Posted: Jan 27 2009 at 11:39pm | IP Logged Quote Nique

Quote:
Here is Michelle in what might have been a frustrating situation in front of the camera:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uidWs05kyVE

It definitely gave me a more of a real life perspective on them.


Shoot! Not able to view! Would have loved to have seen it!



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afranciscan
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Posted: Jan 30 2009 at 12:59am | IP Logged Quote afranciscan

Just search youtube for "duggar discipline"

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Posted: Jan 30 2009 at 6:38am | IP Logged Quote KackyK

I just finished this, I thought it was great. My dh would pick it up when it was laying out and flip through and read a little bit and put it down. Well apparently he read something inspiring to him and it has turned my house upside down now! He loved the idea of the family closet, but we have NO place to do this. So he then changed it up a bit to still getting rid of each child's dresser, but putting their clothes in their own closets because he felt each closet was being under-utilized, which is true. Well oldest dd loved this idea because she always wanting more room. Currently then we are in the throes of major clothes clean out, because I decided to downsize their wardrobes anyways, and transferring to the closet, and either trashing or giving away the dressers. We are going to keep one sentimental one for craft supplies in the basement.

Now the dc are beginning to see the logic in it and are clamoring for desks in their rooms and so forth. They can't wait to kick those dressers out!

Anyways, I thought it was amusing that this is what my dh latched onto! Oh and we both really liked learning about Jim Bob's entrepreneurial adventures. My dh is a gov't worker, probably for life, which is good because it's a stable job, but it's not great for personal growth.



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Posted: Jan 30 2009 at 8:11am | IP Logged Quote Lisbet

I just finished the book too, I will write more on it later as I have many thoughts floating around my head (mostly good!)

Kacky, We have the 'luxury' of a family closet (we call it the 'clothes room') I just wanted to suggest that when doing away with dressers, you still need a place to put underclothes, socks, and maybe in pj's. We have found that something like this works wonderfully for that. I have one hanging in my closet upstairs right now full of bity baby clothes, and it takes up very little room. In our clothes room, we have one for each person hanging from water pipe! (the clothes room is in the basement.) I found them for 8.99 at Target.

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Posted: Jan 30 2009 at 8:28am | IP Logged Quote KackyK

That is a good idea...cheaper than what we went with    We just purchased the small 4 plastic drawer Rubbermaid thingy (how is that description) for each closet and each child gets two little drawers for those necessities.

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Posted: Feb 17 2009 at 5:30am | IP Logged Quote Lisbet

I read this book the week before Greta was born. (when I could barely move, so it was pretty much read in one setting!)

Their honesty was insightful and overall it was a pretty good book. I enjoyed learning how their family came to be. I could relate to much of it actually. They candidly spoke about their struggles with anger and how they overcame. JimBob spoke about how things crumbled around him when he didn't consult his wife on issues, or take them to prayer.

The parts that I had trouble relating too were the parts that they talked about their living arrangements. I think that could come across as "in order to have a big family you have to have this and that" or a certain square footage, etc... They mentioned many times about how difficult it was when they had 12 people in 2200 square feet. Even with the 20 people they have under one roof now - I think their house is quite extravagant and sends an odd message about what is 'required' to have many children. (One of their bedrooms has more square footage than our entire house!!) Granted, I am happy for them, it's awesome that they were able to build it (yes, Discovery Health did help with much of the house - plumbing and electrical, and the decorating and furnishing.) yet I think it may send the wrong message. When I am out and about, I am often asked if I know of the Duggar family - people are assuming that all large families are like them. (The ped did this yesterday when I had Greta in for a check up!)

My dh read a lot of it along with me. He was VERY impressed with how they are debt free. They made some very wise financial moves early on - this was quite impressive to the breadwinner in the house! :) He also thought the house was a bit much.

Overall, it was a good book. I enjoyed it, I laughed, cried, and rolled my eyes! :)

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Posted: Feb 17 2009 at 12:47pm | IP Logged Quote Barbara C.

I read this book last week, and right now I'm kicking myself that I returned it to the library so soon when I didn't have to do so.

I am tempted to try the "Yes, Ma'am" chart and other obedience "game". (Although, the Ma'am parts makes me feel squeamish, so I'll probably change it to "Yes, Mommy".) I got a few recipes, although I need to downsize them from 20 to 3-5 servings. And there's other things that still keep popping into my brain.

Their house is very nice, and I would not begrudge them that. I have to accept certain things, like that they live in a place where real estate isn't quite so outrageously priced. And while they have gotten lucky through their fame, they have also worked hard for a lot of what they have and if they hadn't been "given" so much they would have kept working hard until they got it. And they have made good financial decisions from the beginning. We only have three children, but most of our problems we brought on ourselves by being financial idiots.

What I used to find most annoying was the whole "J" name thing, but after reading their explanation it makes more sense. And I loved when watching the show about the latest baby's arrival how Michelle gets to make the final name decision since she's the one who goes through labor. And it also really made me think about how they have never taken it for granted that they would be able to have more children, whether they had three or thirteen.

There were two things that really stuck out to me. First, her criteria for potty-training...the child must be able to pull their pants up and down and be able to climb up on a big potty. I love it. Secondly, they aren't obsessed with eating organic and scratch foods. I recently wrote a blog post about how depressing I found the book "Nourishing Traditions". The Duggars gave me hope that I could be a "good parent" and still serve my kids processed food.

FWIW, I also read Jon & Kate's book. It really didn't say much that you couldn't already pick up from watching their show and specials. It did talk a little more about Kate's family, which isn't very involved in the show except for her brother Kevin. The thing that struck me was how much of their faith is edited out of the show. They talk about how their faith helped them through their hard times raising 8 kids under the age of 4, and how raising the kids has helped their faith.

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