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mom2mpr
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| Posted: Jan 05 2011 at 7:00am | IP Logged
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I am going from sun up to sun down-cleaning, kids, cleaning, school, dog care, pick up house, putting out fires, planning this and that (menus, school plans, meals, doctor appointments...) etc. I never get time for reading or sewing or just playing with the kids.
I am thinking of "signing off" at a certain time and just leaving the messes--which I never get completely cleaned up anyhow.
Just wondering if anyone else just turns "off" at a certain time. I would like to try though the things starting at me will probably bother me.
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Anne, married to dh 16 years!, ds,(97), Little One (02), and dd (02).
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mamaslearning
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I was typing out a nice long reply and I just couldn't get my thoughts to come out coherently. I only recently discovered the necessity of slowing down, and I am still learning this lesson. I have a newborn, so I am stopping every few hours to nurse and be still. I have learned to get the basics done and not worry about the rest.
One book that is helping to put things in perspective is The Mother's Rule Of Life (I know there are lots of posts about that one here). I have found good wisdom in some of here conclusions throughout the book.
With so many little ones right now, my only truly off time comes when my husband can watch them while I go do something else. Right now that means I get out once or twice a week for about an hour in the evening to recharge. Maybe you could find at least one day a week to do your own activity?
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Lara
DD 11, DS 8, DS 6, DS 4
St. Francis de Sales Homeschool
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SusanMc
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| Posted: Jan 05 2011 at 8:42am | IP Logged
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I can relate. Putting out "urgent" fires can overwhelm my day if I let it. I also second MROL. I read it each year around this time and it really helps.
One surprise for me is that when I make scheduled intentional time for prayer, the day actually opens up for me. I have recommitted to a quick five minutes in the morning, a bible study with Food For the Journey and open prayer during the first 10-20 minutes of naptime, and 10-20 minutes of my first time once the boys are down to either pray or do spiritual reading. I think of it as tithing my "free" time because my natural inclinication when I get a break from mom-duty is to treat myself to junk food, internet browsing, TV or any other sort of checking out activity. I thought I would feel deprived or cheated out of my already small "me" time by doing this but it actually does the opposite. I call it checking in vs. checking out.
Anyway, it also sort of realigns the importance of everything else without much more effort on my part.
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mom2mpr
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| Posted: Jan 05 2011 at 9:46am | IP Logged
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MROL was just too regimented for me. I do enjoy some of her ideas though. My problem was I WANTED to have that intense structure for everyone, but it doesn't work for my family.
Lara, I miss those nursing baby days. They were wonderful!! Enjoy!
I am thinking of turning "off" at 7pm. Stop doing dishes,cleaning the kitchen and just go sit, if I can find a clean space on the sofa  , and read, interact with the kids without telling them what to do, mend, and just chill out. This is my thought for getting some down time. I have no naps anymore, lot's of activity because my kids need it (we live rurally and have no family nearby and they are social creatures), a dh that works long hours, etc.
Our weekends are crazy and go, go, go because that is how dh likes it. Hey, he works hard during the week and likes his socialization and activities--and he likes us to be together as a family for all the fun.
Meanwhile, I am toast and trying to get some no pressure time in my week. Thinking as long as the bugs and rodents don't move in I can leave the kitchen a little messy and keep at it over days and days and eventually I"ll get it all cleaned up....
I guess I am trying to compartmentalize. I recently made 9-3 school time and make no appointments and try to pull the kids through their work and quit at 3--they are done anyhow! So, thinking an "off" time for me might help me.
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Anne, married to dh 16 years!, ds,(97), Little One (02), and dd (02).
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Mackfam
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| Posted: Jan 05 2011 at 9:59am | IP Logged
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mom2mpr wrote:
Just wondering if anyone else just turns "off" at a certain time.
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ABSOLUTELY!!! I need to recharge my batteries in various ways as well! It's important for my own good mental health!
** Like Susan, I also find that quiet prayer time is an important anchor in my day! Prayer time is a priority for me! It doesn't have to be long, but it has to be a part of the day.
** I try to work hard and be a good steward of my time during the day, being attentive to daily duties here.
** I work to effectively delegate duties as I am able, and supervise the completion of those duties.
** I try to visualize full-stop points when undertaking larger projects so that I have a stopping point in mind as I begin working. This keeps me from feeling like I'm leaving loose ends.
** I work hard to tackle crisis moments & fires in the moment, not contributing to the drama by adding to it with my own emotions.
** There will always be something left over to do the next day. Fine. I'll visit with it tomorrow. I can be reasonable about what I expect myself to accomplish in one day, accept that some days I'll fall short, and that every day I need to recharge my own batteries and take care of myself...or else I get run down and am no good to anyone!
Then....I try to:
** Spend time engaging and visiting with each of my children throughout the day. This isn't planned, nor do I keep a tally, but I do have to remind myself to engage because I can be hyper-focused when I'm involved in a project/activitiy. I use two key-words for myself when a child approaches --> PAUSE :: EYE CONTACT. This helps to keep me feeling engaged in the children and the day, their interests and passions.
** I always, always, always declare full stop to working/planning/chores and carve out special time in the evenings for unwind time -- a glass of wine and a movie with dh, reading, hobbies, researching about my own passions and interests, etc.
Hope this helps! I'm ALL FOR A FULL STOP WITH A GLASS O' CHARDONNAY IN THE EVENING!!!!!  
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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Mackfam
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| Posted: Jan 05 2011 at 10:06am | IP Logged
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mom2mpr wrote:
| MROL was just too regimented for me. I do enjoy some of her ideas though. My problem was I WANTED to have that intense structure for everyone, but it doesn't work for my family. |
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I think MROL is a fantastic resource and revisit it often myself! You just have to keep in mind that Holly's routine, her rule, is for her family to meet their needs. It's great to take ideas from it...and then come up with a plan, a routine that meets your days with some success! It may look NOTHING like Holly's...and that's totally FINE! Just apply some of those great ideas she offers and come up with a routine that fits your family needs!
mom2mpr wrote:
| So, thinking an "off" time for me might help me. |
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I was cross-posting with you, and I want to encourage you and cheer for you!!!!!!
 LEISURE-REST-RA-RA LEISURE-REST-RA!!!
This is a great resolution!!! Go for it!!!! 
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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mom2mpr
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| Posted: Jan 05 2011 at 10:33am | IP Logged
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Awwww..thanks for the dancing bananas and encouragement. I feel like I am not completing my tasks unless they are, well...completed..and perfect 
I'm going to try turning off.....
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Anne, married to dh 16 years!, ds,(97), Little One (02), and dd (02).
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JodieLyn
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Mackfam wrote:
mom2mpr wrote:
| MROL was just too regimented for me. I do enjoy some of her ideas though. My problem was I WANTED to have that intense structure for everyone, but it doesn't work for my family. |
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I think MROL is a fantastic resource and revisit it often myself! You just have to keep in mind that Holly's routine, her rule, is for her family to meet their needs. It's great to take ideas from it...and then come up with a plan, a routine that meets your days with some success! It may look NOTHING like Holly's...and that's totally FINE! Just apply some of those great ideas she offers and come up with a routine that fits your family needs! |
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I don't believe I've ever read the chapters where she puts forth HER schedule. I love her guidelines for what to consider when seeing my own. And I especially love the idea of big blocks of time.. so I can put down a 1-2 hr block and it can say.. chores.. or school.. I don't have to have it broken down into particulars and itty bitty fragments of time that more often than not make me feel defeated.
As far as having to complete tasks and have them perfect.. sounds like you need to reevaluate what your task is.. for isntance.. laundry.. it is truly never ending.. but if you set yourself the task of doing 3 loads of laundry on M and W and F.. you'll get lots of laundry done and some days you might have it all done except the clothes people are wearing.. and others you might have a load or partial loads waiting for another day. The thing is that you DID COMPLETE your task by doing a certain number of loads.. having all the laundry done is a pleasant occational happenstance.. not a goal 
With such busy weekends I think I'd start planning out 4 day school weeks and 1 at home day. Which would ease what you need to do every day.
Something like this might also help..
Quote:
Everyday tasks
pick up all rooms
do dishes
sweep all floors
Large tasks
Monday - Laundry
Tuesday - desk/filing
Wednesday - Laundry
Thursday - mop
Friday - this week's area
Saturday- Laundry
Friday Tasks
week 1 - living room/kids' bedrooms
week 2 - sewing area/master bedroom
week 3 - kitchen/garage
week 4 - bathroom/ hallway cupboards and closet
week 5 - books |
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It lets you cycle through which things are worked on rather than trying to always do everything every day. You konw that the floors will be mopped on Thursday so the rest of the time you just wipe up spots and spills and because you have a set day for that mopping you can ignore it on Wednesday night
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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mamaslearning
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JodieLyn wrote:
As far as having to complete tasks and have them perfect.. sounds like you need to reevaluate what your task is.. for isntance.. laundry.. it is truly never ending.. but if you set yourself the task of doing 3 loads of laundry on M and W and F.. you'll get lots of laundry done and some days you might have it all done except the clothes people are wearing.. and others you might have a load or partial loads waiting for another day. The thing is that you DID COMPLETE your task by doing a certain number of loads.. having all the laundry done is a pleasant occational happenstance.. not a goal
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Oh, laundry is something I've battled for a long time! I kept thinking I was always behind, that I could never get it done, and actually, I was right. I never have all the laundry finished because no matter what, there will be something else that needs to be washed. I've since learned that having a goal of one or two loads a day is what I need to keep me sane. Looking at it in smaller increments has stopped it from overwhelming me each day. I don't feel behind anymore.
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Lara
DD 11, DS 8, DS 6, DS 4
St. Francis de Sales Homeschool
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Erin
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mom2mpr wrote:
I am thinking of "signing off" at a certain time and just leaving the messes--which I never get completely cleaned up anyhow.
Just wondering if anyone else just turns "off" at a certain time. |
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Short answer is 'yes'. I have a rest after lunch every day and will pick up a book and read, for me. I've come to term with the fact that I need this time to re-charge, if I don't I'm a 'bear with a sore head.' I need some quiet time. This is not to say little ones don't follow me and spend some of that time with me, that's fine, I need to lie down, put my feet up and re-charge.
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Erin
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Seven Little Australians
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leanne maree
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I rest as well.
I know I will be exhausted if I don't stop and have a cup of tea with a book. I will also have prayer time then as well.
I find another way to just stop, is when my dh comes in from work, and we have a cup of coffee. Its a nice forced rest before the late afternoon / evening busyness
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Leanne
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Chris V
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mom2mpr wrote:
I am thinking of "signing off" at a certain time and just leaving the messes--which I never get completely cleaned up anyhow.
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Absolutely, yes! Nothing soothes the soul like a hot cupt of tea, prayer time, and your favorite reading material of choice. ... a nightly ritual with me, despite the day - it could have been a bad day, and I reflect on it, it could have been a wonderful day, and I reflect on it. ... for what would I do without my own quiet time; after all, I make all my kids take one (whether they want to or not )
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Chris
Happy Wife with my Happy Life
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SuzanneG
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Yes. Definitely. In the afternoon I STOP no matter what! And, in the evenings too. This was def. harder when all my kiddos were very young and EVERYTHING depended on me....but NOW....even if I go to bed and read with a messy house I know that there are at least 4 others that can help clean up in the morning.
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Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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CatholicMommy
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I found that when I was in times of my life where I simply COULD NOT do everything and had to face reality... I found ways to simplify - found the things that really matter.
Do I want a clean kitchen at the end of every day? Then we'd best have as few items in the kitchen as possible and learn multiple purposes for each item. MUCH easier to clean up if there is less TO clean up!
I don't want toys all over the place? They are allowed in specific locations ONLY. NO EXCEPTIONS (this is harder on me than on my son!). And what toys are absolutely necessary? And how can that organization be as simple, simple, simple as possible?
I've come a long way - still have a long way to go - but I love those days when I can look around, see the messy house, I'm feeling lousy and know it won't be cleaned today, but I KNOW there are systems in place that it is all cleanable in less than half an hour the next day when I'm feeling better.
(and then Christmas hits.... )
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4Real Forums : Planning and Ordering our Days
Topic: Do you ever just stop?
