4Real Forums: Older Special Needs Children

Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.

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Topic: Older Special Needs Children

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Maria B.
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Joined: Jan 16 2006
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 544

Posted: Jan 01 2007 at 1:14pm \| IP Logged

I am new mom to this wonderful group of mothers. My oldest (19, almost 20) is mildly mentally retarded. We are considering a vocational training school for her that is away from home. She so wants to go, but I am very nervous about her being "out on her own", even though I know it will be good for her. I am interested in hearing from other families with older special needs children ... what their adult special needs kids do, etc.

Maria

mom3aut1not
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Joined: May 21 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 757

Posted: Jan 01 2007 at 2:01pm \| IP Logged

Maria,

I don't know if I can be of any help, but here's our experience.

My brother who is severely impaired (very autistic and low-functioning) is in a group home; it's a good situation for him. It was good to transfer to a new home before my parents were unable to care for him; it gave him only one huge stress to deal with. My parents visited him every week until my father could no longer drive. My mother continued to see him 2 or 3 times a month until she had to move to a retirement community farther away from him. She pays someone to take her once a month to see him. I only see him a couple times a year as we live 500+ miles away.

My almost 21 yo dd (pddnos/hfa) is making incremental steps to the world outside. First she took classes at a branch of the coomunity college within walking distance of our home. Then she took classes at the main campus. Next semester she will have a practicum, and I am thinking about a job coach. Next year I hope she will be at U MD and on her way to a bachelor's degree and a job. Although community colleges do not have the cachet that four year schools do, it was very important for her to go step by step. Just putting her in a school away from home would probably have overwhelmed her, and she would not have enjoyed the success she has.

My almost 19 yo wants desperately to finish high school and to support herself. I am not certain what kind of job she can have as her ability to cope varies wildly over the course of a week. Please pray for her. If things get better and she finishes high school this year, we'll look for a job close by (she can't drive) and look into a job coach to help her.

I don't have to worry about my 6 yo ds yet. Whew! He actually is the child I worry the most about, but I'm leaving my worries in God's hands. I'll get him potty-trained first......

As I wrote above, I don't know if this helps, but it's our experience so far.

In Christ,
Deborah

Maria B.
Forum All-Star

Joined: Jan 16 2006
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 544

Posted: Jan 10 2007 at 12:47pm \| IP Logged

mom3aut1not wrote:

Maria,

I don't know if I can be of any help, but here's our experience ...

Oh Deborah! It truly does help. Thank you for sharing.

God bless you and yours.

__________________
Maria in VA
Proud Mom to 10 Great kids!

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