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CSBasile
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| Posted: April 01 2013 at 6:38pm | IP Logged
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I'm looking for insights from others who have "been there, done that."
I've been homeschooling my 10 year old daughter for the last three years and she really doesn't seem to be progressing much. She's 10 years old and really still working at 1st/2nd grade level. She was adopted from a children's home in E. Europe five years ago, so I know that her beginning life wasn't as it should have been (and I can see delays and issues because of that, some dealing with memory and information retention).
This year, I decided to do a homeschool co-op and have her taking classes in math and reading. She goes just once a week, the classes are small (5-8 kids), and then I work with her one-to-one for the rest of the week. I was hoping this would help her progress more. Here at home, she tends to waste alot of time arguing with me about doing her schoolwork (and she is the ultimate procrastinator), so I was hoping that giving a bit of the authority to another adult figure would at least help with the debating/arguing about why she needs to learn math and reading.
She is progressing, I think. But today her math teacher told me that she isn't ready to move up to the next level and she wants her to stay in 1st grade math. This worries me; she is tall and will really stand out next year among the younger ones.
This coincides with me debating on whether I should try a Montessori school for her. She seems to retain better when she is physically moving around and using manipulatives. Unfortunately, the co-op doesn't really give her the opportunity to do that. It's basically a traditional classroom setting. At least with Montessori, there are multi-age groups and everyone is working individually, so it isn't as obvious if she's working at a lower level.
I am burnt out from teaching her, too, since she spends so much time arguing with me. But I would keep plugging away if that was the best thing for her, but I wonder if it is?
Anyone out there switch their child from homeschooling to Montessori? Or another alternative educational program like that?
Thank you so much for your insight.
Cheryl
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Kathryn
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| Posted: April 01 2013 at 8:56pm | IP Logged
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I have a son that is similar although a few years older. He did a Montessori-ish type program from age 3 thru kinder. Although he also does better with manipulatives and such, the problem I found for him was that there wasn't enough teacher-led activities to cement the real learning for him. It was def. more of a child-led program and well, he just doesn't know where to go and needs significantly more help in learning and retaining the material. In hindsight, I think it was a great disservice to him. 
He also has working memory and retention issues as well however he is my bio child and we've never figured out why he struggles the way he does. The only issue is that is was a very difficult delivery and we think there is a possibility that there was some oxygen deprivation at birth. He wasn't breathing and had to be on a vent but only for 24 hours so at the time we didn't think anything of it but it's obvious his brain is wired completely different so whether b/c of his birth or just his wiring, I understand the complete burn out. And my son is actually somewhat small for his age so in doing co-ops it's been ok to have him in the lower level. Is there any other co-ops or homeschool classes around you could check out? Is it possible to get a group together and do your own co-op at home with just a few and then she wouldn't stand out as being bigger? My only thought with the Montessori method is it seems to be that the child has to really have a desire to learn those letters and numbers and counting and all the basics of school. My DD 14 did great with it, my DD 5 would do great with it (but we exclusively HS her) but it just didn't work for his special needs.
Hope my insight helps some. Good luck in finding the answers. It seems to be a never-ending quest. 
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Kathryn in TX
(dd 16, ds 15, dd 8, dd 5)
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CSBasile
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| Posted: April 03 2013 at 1:24pm | IP Logged
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Thank you, Kathryn, for your insights. I had debated Montessori in the past for the same reason; wasn't sure if she would really be self motivated enough to actually do the work and thought that if she didn't have the constant oversight, no one would realize that she wasn't learning. Your wisdom helped quite a bit! I think I will keep researching other options. Thank you.
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3ringcircus
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| Posted: April 03 2013 at 4:45pm | IP Logged
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Not sure if this is a help, or overstepping my bounds, but is there the possibility that she has a learning disability? If so, you can go about getting her evaluated either publicly or privately. The school district where you live is required to test her by law per. your request, even if she is HS'd. There is no charge if you go through the school. They can put you off for no more than 90 days? Or is it 30? Not sure about private insurance coverage if you decide to get testing done that way, but you could look into it. Anyway, if the tests show any areas of weakness around processing or memory, you may be able to find some techniques, planning strategies, and more ideal curricula to suit her needs. Some kids get a lot more cooperative if the tasks come more easily to them, and that alone might help you save time and frustration. I can definitely relate, and am seeking my own answers right now.
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Christine
Mom to my circus of boys: G-1/06, D-1/04, S-4/10
Started HS in Fall'12
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CSBasile
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| Posted: April 04 2013 at 9:23am | IP Logged
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Christine,
Although she hasn't been formally diagnosed with a learning disability, I know she does not learn the same way as most kids. Unfortunately, our school district isn't much help and they won't do anything unless she is enrolled FT, but we did that for kindergarten and it was a disaster. I am taking her for some private evaluations in three weeks and hope they can shed some light on how to best teach her.
Kids can be a real puzzle. I guess they keep us on our toes, don't they? I hope you find answers to your own questions.
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Kathryn
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| Posted: April 04 2013 at 3:10pm | IP Logged
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My son did get testing thru our PS and rec'd services until this year (6th grade). In TX, it is def. the law that they have to provide those services and sometimes it's just knowing who to talk to. The laws I'm sure vary by state. Even here though, they don't do any formal testing until 1st grade I think. Have you tried calling finding out your state laws? You can check through the HSLDA website what your state laws and rights are as a HS parent. It can get soooo $$$ to go the private route and although public may not be best, I've been satisfied with their testing and services, although of course now he's "phased out" of what he would qualify for b/c of grade but I think it helped when we had it.
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Kathryn in TX
(dd 16, ds 15, dd 8, dd 5)
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3ringcircus
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| Posted: April 04 2013 at 3:58pm | IP Logged
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I know it was the law in MA, where I taught. We're also in TX now, and got the same info. as Kathryn. I hope you aren't getting the run around. Anyone you work with privately might be able to let you know better. It was the behavioral pediatrician that informed us of the requirements here.
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Christine
Mom to my circus of boys: G-1/06, D-1/04, S-4/10
Started HS in Fall'12
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CatholicMommy
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| Posted: April 09 2013 at 1:13pm | IP Logged
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If you consider Montessori schools, be sure to meet WITH THE potential teacher, so that you can address the fact that she will need more over-seeing. Properly trained and functioning Montessori teachers will give the right balance at the right times but so many times I hear the main concern is that the teachers either control too much or mostly not near enough challenge is provided. Elementary Montessori has a combo work-plan/journal that is supposed to take care of the concerns you have, but not all schools implement in the most efficacious of ways ;)
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Garden of Francis
HS Elementary Montessori Training
Montessori Nuggets
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CSBasile
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| Posted: April 09 2013 at 2:57pm | IP Logged
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Yes, good point about talking with the person who will be her lead teacher, to ensure she has a bit more oversight. We visited a school today that used the work plan/journal, but I know that she isn't mature enough to just take the lead on that, and will need a bit of prompting and reminding.
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Anneof 5
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| Posted: April 09 2013 at 5:00pm | IP Logged
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Have you done any reading in the area of attachment, trauma, etc., as it relates to being adopted? I think I would look into that as well as testing for possible LD's. I have a dd 11, who is very resistant to working with me. I know for my dd it is a combination of LD's and adoption issues. It wasn't always like that (resistance) but has become exceedingly so in the past couple of years. I hadn't considered the adoption correlation to her puzzling issues until last fall when I heard a speaker at a conference give a talk on it. I would recommend looking at books by Heather Forbes, Bryan Post and Karen Purvis. The speaker I heard was Stacy Manning who also released a book recently. She is a home school mom with adopted dc (not sure of her faith background).
http://www.tohavehope.com/
I wish you the best with your dd! 
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LisaC
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| Posted: Oct 03 2013 at 3:34pm | IP Logged
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Hello Cheryl,
I was glad to see your email because I feel I am in similar situation and need advice as well. We adopted our daughter from a former soviet republic when she was almost 6, she is now 9 and I have her doing 3rd grade work and she is struggling with many things, most of which have to do with comprehension and problem solving, e.g. following instructions in a workbook, finding the answers in a text, math problem solving using a toolbox of skills, science concepts and things like that. She is very outgoing and extroverted so I think part of it is her personality; she'd rather just run and play. She is, of course, also behind in maturity so I'm naturally hoping that that is a big part of it. Using her reason and thinking hard is no fun and she is easily distracted. To add to the problem I have a bio son who is 6 months younger than she and working ahead of grade level. However, unlike your daughter, she is small so she doesn't stick out in groups of younger kids.
I am wondering if I should get her tested for any learning delay issues that have to do with pre-natal issues or neglect, and are those fixable? What would I find? What should I do differently? And here's the big question, what happens if I slow things down for her and she keeps falling behind 'grade level'?
I just thought I'd add that she is and has always been very coordinated (bike riding, running, ballet), and she has no problem memorizing poems and other things. It's when she actually has to think logically that she has problems.
So how is your schooling going this year? Have you had your daughter evaluated in any way? I'd love to chat.
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Lisa in Colorado
Mom to ds(14 yrs), ds(12 yrs), dd (10 yrs), ds(10 yrs)
Sunflowers and a Spoonful of Sugar
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CSBasile
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| Posted: Oct 09 2013 at 4:15pm | IP Logged
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Lisa,
Your daughter sounds a lot like mine -- very outgoing and extroverted, would rather run and play than sit still, etc. She also has challenges with comprehension and problem solving and is especially easily distracted if she doesn't care for what she is learning. She is challenged by logical thinking but also does well with physical activities like swimming and ballet.
However, we have made some advances since I originally posted this note. We had some neuropsychological testing done; it was very extensive and rather expensive, but fortunately our insurance covered a lot of it. It was so worth it! I do recommend having it done, but check around and get a referral for a neuropsychologist that your school district respects. The testing was able to specifically pinpoint her problems, then they wrote an extensive report on the results and offered concrete ways to work on those learning challenges. There was a lot of advice for the school too, on ways to modify the learning for her. They immediately implemented most of them (without me having to fight for them or prove she needed them), mainly because the school district really respects the neuropsychologist that we used.
One other thing we did (per the neuropsychologist's recommendation) -- she started taking the ADHD medication Vyvanse. We've tried other medications in the past and they were a disaster -- made her more moody, less able to concentrate, etc. But it is a different story on Vyvanse -- she's a bit calmer, focuses more easily, etc. She says she also notices a difference when on the medication.
So, in summary, I would definitely recommend having some testing done by a well respected neuropsychologist. It will also help you to know how to deal with some of her learning disabilities.
Please feel free to pm me if you have any other questions.
Our kids have so much potential; we just need to find the key that unlocks the door to their potential!
Blessings,
Cheryl
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4Real Forums : Special Blessings
Topic: Continue homeschooling, Montessori or ?
