| Author | |
LLMom
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 19 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 995
|
| Posted: May 12 2008 at 2:03pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
I am really struggling with helping my ds with friendships. He is 15 and its more noticeable now. HIs unique characteristics make it hard for him to maintain friendships. He has SID (among other things) which make it difficult for him to be around loud noises, weird smells (that no one else notices), etc. He therefore, hates rock music (which I for one am glad about) and video games (too much noise and movement) and so many kids his age are into these things. Therefore, he is a lonely child. He also can't stand to be teased in the least and he is constantly yelling at his siblings. They do it in fun, and I have asked them to stop. He won't laugh with them, joke around, etc. He is so serious. He can't tolerate differences in others at all and is therefore making himself very lonely. I don't know how to help him adjust. I know he would be a lot worse in school. I am not sure what I am even needing. Maybe just prayers. It is so difficult to have a child with different needs. I have not been able to spare him from pain I had hoped to. He feels stupid (because of learning issues) and many people have told him he is way too picky and sensitive, myself included when I get frustrated with his SID issues. Thanks for listening.
__________________
Lisa
For veteran & former homeschool moms
homeschooling ideas
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
jdostalik
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 15 2005
Location: Texas
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2935
|
| Posted: May 12 2008 at 3:32pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Dear Lisa,
I will be praying for your ds. Do you think trying to find someone with similar SID issues might be helpful? Are there any support groups in your area where he might find a friend? At least, they would understand one another a bit? I am not much help, I'm afraid...
I firmly believe that one of the heaviest crosses we bear as mothers is watching our kids suffer, esp. as they grow up. 
Love and prayers...
__________________
God Bless,
Jennifer in TX
wife to Bill, mom to six here on earth and eight in heaven.
Let the Little Ones Come
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
SimplyMom
Forum Pro
Joined: Jan 11 2008
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 118
|
| Posted: May 19 2008 at 11:39am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Lisa,
You have my prayers.
Friends can be such a difficult thing for our special kiddos.
-D
__________________
Darcee
SimplyMom from Simply Catholic
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Lori B
Forum Pro
Joined: March 24 2006
Location: Canada
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 209
|
| Posted: May 19 2008 at 1:57pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
One thing that is a huge help with my 12yod is to meet up with friends outdoors. She loves being out in the fresh air, and it's much more relaxing for her than indoor environments tend to be.
__________________
22yod, 16yod (Asperger's), 14yos (dyslexia, APD, ADHD), and 11yod (JXG, glaucoma, legally blind)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Chari
Forum Moderator
Joined: Jan 28 2005
Location: California
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5228
|
| Posted: May 20 2008 at 12:20am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Lisa.........this sounds so hard ........I cannot offer advice......but I CAN pray.......and pray I will.
__________________
Chari...Take Up & Read
Dh Marty 27yrs...3 lovely maidens: Anne 24, Sarah 20 & Maddelyn 17 and 3 chivalrous sons: Matthew 22, Garrett 16 & Malachy 11
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
mom3aut1not
Forum All-Star
Joined: May 21 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 757
|
| Posted: May 20 2008 at 12:33pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Lisa,
It is really hard. The best friend my middle dd had was a very kind girl with an LD or something brother. She was wonderful -- open, friendly, and accepting without any condescension. Other girls did the cliquey thing which hurt my dd a great deal. The last time she had anything to do with one of the cliquey girls, that girl behaved so rudely and meanly that we basically avoided her from then on -- and her family pretty much as well. My youngest dd did have a sort of good friend -- unfortunately the younger sister of the cliquey girl -- but in time they grew apart because my dd is not interested in horses and is of an intellectual bent. My ds doesn't have any real friends, only acquaintances. That's all right for now, but I will keep my eyes peeled for a boy who is accepting and kind to be a friend. They do exist!
In fact, one of the boy scouts in the troop associated with our cub scout pack does fit the criteria -- he's just a little too old to be a friend right now. I was touched by how a couple of boy scouts of that pack (one of whom is the boy I mentioned just above) included my son in a ball game. In fact, they altered the game so he could play with him. It was so kind!
My brother is severely autistic, yet even he had a friend of sorts for a while -- a boy who was kind and accepting. He actually attended my brother's birthday party -- the only person to ever attend that was not a member of our immediate family. My father was so grateful to that boy that he would have done anything legal for him. (Oddly enough, the boy's family was not an ideal one in many ways, but he seemed to be almost untouched by the family's troubles. I know he probably wasn't, but he did seem to be the person who had it most together in the family -- and I include his parents in that assessment.)
My mother is unofficially on the autism spectrum. Guess what kind of person my dad was? Yep, very accepting and kind. Most autistics who do marry usually divorce, but my parents were married until my dad died -- more than forty years.
The other suggestions you got were good, too. I'll keep them in mind as well.
In Christ,
Deborah
mom of 3 autistics and 1 non-autistic
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
|
|
4Real Forums : Special Blessings
Topic: friendships for specials
