4Real Forums: self-esteem & learning, etc.

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4Real Forums : Special Blessings

Topic: self-esteem & learning, etc.

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LLMom
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Joined: Feb 19 2005
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Posted: Sept 12 2005 at 12:04pm \| IP Logged

How can I help this ds? He has a lot of learning difficulties. He has poor working memory (short term), ADHD (inattentive type), gross/fine motor coordination problems and a visual processing problem which has caused problems with learning to read, write, spell and do complicated math. He is 12 and just starting to read. He can do basic math but anything involving lining up math problems such as double digit numbers and above are hard for him to keep straight. On top of this all, he has low frustration and is inattentive. He does not excel at much. Terrible at sports, reading, art. The only thing he has a bit of capabilities in are music (he plays piano) and he is good at creating stories but not writing due to poor spelling, low typing abilities and fine motor problems. He has progressed a bit in the piano but is now struggling to learn more due to being unable to read and comprehend the more detailed musical notes due to his visual processing problem.
We are receiving help from Seton's special services, done a program for visual processing problems, have had him in OT (which hasn't helped) but everything schooly tends to focus on his weak areas. He feels so stupid. This was one reason I wanted to hs was so my children wouldn't feel dumb but he still does. Children know when they can't do something and he is bad at all school subjects. He feels dumb if I help him for example to write/type a story that he has created. Even though the ideas are great, he still feels bad. He use to once love math but now hates it because he can't remember his multiplication facts but can figure them out and thus can't do large multiplication problems.
How can I help this child feel good about himself when his abilities are lacking in school? I feel so frustrated for him. Each day is so hard for him.

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Lisa
For veteran & former homeschool moms
homeschooling ideas

MEBarrett
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Joined: Feb 15 2005
Location: New York
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Posted: Sept 12 2005 at 1:40pm \| IP Logged

I understand your problem because I share it. Ryan has difficulty feeling good about himself because he struggles so much with things that come easier to other children.

You have such an advantage in hsing him. If the way he is learning is making him feel stupid you have to adjust the program. Tell him you are going to type out his stories for him, not because he is not a good writer but because he is a gifted storyteller. Tell him the story is more important than who wrote it and that all great authors have others type their work.

You might consider leaving off formal school for a little while and explore his interests. Find out what he loves and then take every book on the subject out of the library. Read to him, have him read, have others in the family read. Act out stories, write stories, draw some pictures, have him play some music related to the subject or make up some songs.

Let him find his voice and he will relax. Gloss over mistakes and tell him some of yours. He needs to know he's not the only one who makes mistakes and he is not the only one who finds school work hard.

Hugely praise his accomplishments. No matter how small. He should know that every minor step is great and his hard work makes you tremendously proud!

For math I found using graph paper helpful for Ryan.
this site has free printable lined paper with light verticles that makes it much easier to line up numbers.

Another thing I have found helpful this year is a reading trick. I have spent, literally, thousand of dollars on reading specialists and therapies for Ryan to help his comprehension. You know what is working? A pencil. A .49 pencil. I have him underline each word as he reads. In every book. It visually separates the words for him so instead of seeing a jumble of words he can focus on what they mean.

Whatever you decide to do, I think your son is really lucky to have you.

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Blessings,
Mary Ellen
Mom to seven beautiful kids
Tales from the Bonny Blue House
O Night Divine

LLMom
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Joined: Feb 19 2005
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Posted: Sept 12 2005 at 4:50pm \| IP Logged

Mary Ellen,

Thank you so much for the encouragement and ideas. I could not get the link to the paper to work. Could you send it again. I have been using just lined notebook paper turned horizontally and it helps a bit.

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Lisa
For veteran & former homeschool moms
homeschooling ideas

MaryM
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Joined: Feb 11 2005
Location: Colorado
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Posts: 13104

Posted: Sept 12 2005 at 5:46pm \| IP Logged

Whenever a link doesn't work - check to see if it has a double http in it - that is usually the problem. Here it is without that. Download paper site
This is a cool paper site - thanks, Mary Ellen.

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Mary M. in Denver

Our Domestic Church

MEBarrett
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Joined: Feb 15 2005
Location: New York
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Posts: 596

Posted: Sept 13 2005 at 6:38am \| IP Logged

You're welcome! Thanks for fixing my broken link

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Blessings,
Mary Ellen
Mom to seven beautiful kids
Tales from the Bonny Blue House
O Night Divine

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