4Real Forums: mass & autism

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Topic: mass & autism

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suzanne672004
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Joined: Sept 29 2009
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Posted: April 16 2011 at 9:41pm \| IP Logged

I have a 2.5 year old ds who is on the waiting list (10months long)for assessment for autism. His doctor is convinced he is on the spectrum. We attend our local church every sat evening and sit in the same place every week. Our son has huge difficulties sitting through our service quietly he will constantly climb on seats and scream. We take him out when he gets too loud however there is no crying rooms/nursery in our parish or any nearby parishes. We have tried taking religious children's books to distract him but he just seems to constantly meltdown. Now we are getting dirty looks from parishoners, just this week my dh was asked why we can't control our son, we explained the autism and were told he needed a good smack! please help I want to keep attending church but I don't know how.

Karnak
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Joined: Sept 12 2007
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Posted: April 26 2011 at 6:07am \| IP Logged

Hi Suzanne

Most of us with kids with an ASD have been where you are, If your son is so young, why not go by yourself and have the peace of the hour to yourself if that is the only parish you can attend. If not why not find one that claims to be friendly to special needs kids and adults.

Do a Google search as there is a wealth of resources o techign the faith to kids with SN or autism, Kathy lLaboosh has writing on eon the mass for kids with autism
http://www.nafim.org/fileadmin/site_content/PDF_s/Tip_Sheets /Learning_the_Faith_with_Autism.pdf
I am going to by these for my son who has autism and is now 10, He sits quietly through mass these days but i do think it is because he is older and the mass is short being under an hour. We go to mass at the same time and with the same priest.

I also think your priest should say something to th other parishioners as most as intolerant and I suspect may have forgotten what it is like having any sort of small kids to take to mass.

Karnak

12stars
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Joined: April 25 2008
Location: California
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Posted: May 21 2011 at 1:32am \| IP Logged

We go through the same thing. My husband goes to mass at one time and I at another. Our son cannot tolerate being in close proximity to others for a long period of time. Our parish sounds like yours. We did find another parish that does have a crying room and so I am hoping that that will be a alternative. Anyhow I have no recommendations only wanted to say that we are there with you and know how you feel.

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Claudia in Southern California
Wife to George,
Mom to DD 14, DD 10, DD 7, DS 4, DS 2, 1 in heaven, and now due 5/11.

stellamaris
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Joined: Feb 26 2009
Location: Virginia
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Posted: May 21 2011 at 6:31am \| IP Logged

You may have already tried this, but would he have better behavior earlier in the day? My son had a lot of trouble with the later Masses; we found he was a little less " stressed out" earlier in the day when he was not so tired. Evenings can be difficult even for children who don't have challenges, and more so with those who have any special difficulties.

Also, I second the idea of splitting up at least sometimes and not taking your son to Mass every week for a while. I tried to take my little ones to daily Mass once a week or so, just to help familiarize them with it (and to get some strength and courage for myself!). They did a little better with the shorter length, but we still had trouble with my son melting down out every time the bells were rung. So, for a while, it was very hard.

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Caroline
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dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4

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