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rose gardens
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For the past few years I have devoted much (most) of my homeschool teaching energy toward my 8 yo son. He likely has dyslexia, along with a poor memory and poor ability with language in general. I realized over a year that there's a problem, and I tried to adjust my teaching style to his learning style, incorporating that into some of his siblings's homeschool lessons too. Much of the very repetitive work takes a great deal of time.
This weekend while cleaning out old binders, I saw the work my two oldest children used to do when homeschooling. We did so much more with out homeschooling back then! And homeschooling was fun. Maybe my older two are naturally brighter than some of their younger sibblings, but I'm not sure it's just that. They now attend college and high school. I homeschool my ten yo son, 8 yo b/g twins and a 5 yo girl. I also care for my 3 yo and I'm expecting.
We do mostly just the basics now. I don't have energy to do much more, but being reminded what we used to do for homeschooling, I feel like I'm not providing my "normal" children with the best education. I've felt that way for a long time, but seeing the actual work that my older children produced confirmed that feeling. We used to be do homeschooling in the same amount of time, but we did so much more with that time.
How do those of you with large families and a child with special education needs divide your time to educate everyone? Do you do work with special education apart from other homeschool time? Are you content with doing mostly just basics with your other children until they can do more independent work? If so, do they learn to work independently if the parents don't help them every do more than the basics?
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Paula in MN
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I don't have any advice, just  !
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 Paula
A Catholic Harvest
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stellamaris
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My special needs ds, who is 8, also takes up a lot of my time. He is dysgraphic, has expressive language and processing difficulties, short attention span, and maybe a memory problem (but it seems like he really remembers lots of details of everything except his school work, so it could be an attention issue). He has a twin brother, and a younger brother of 6 who are also currently being homeschooled. My other children are either grown, or in colleges or high school, but until just this fall I also had a 13-yr old at home.
I have really tried to enrich our schooling experience even though this can be very tough with my ds. He objects to lots of activities, and also is hypotonic (low muscle tone), so nature walks, etc. are a challenge. However, I try to incorporate him as much as possible at his level. Some ideas that have worked here:
1. Lots of read alouds: At first, my ds would leave the room, or even cry if he didn't like the story. Now he is beginning to enjoy this time. I let him leave, but he wasn't allowed to just sit and cry because that ruined it for everyone else. We are always working on a geography read-aloud. Right now, it's Red Sails to Capri. We supplement the reading with coloring maps and labeling them, cooking food from the country we're reading about, coloring the flag of the country, doing a craft from that country, learning a few words, etc. Ds participates as best as he can, and while I don't always know how much he is learning, he enjoys it and I feel it is slowly exposing him to subjects of interest, as opposed to the constant "grind". All of your children might enjoy this, except of course the baby! We only do one "special" activity a week. I think with a lot of younger children and special needs children, it is important to simplify.
2. Biographies of musicians along with listening to selections of their music. Picture biographies of artists and picture studies of their works (usually one artist every 2 months or so). We often do an art project highlighting some technique or subject of the artist. For example, we are currently reading about Matisse. We did a very simple cut and paste picture similar to his later works. The more advanced children did a more advanced work, I was happy my ds was able to even cut any shapes and paste them on. This was great for
him as he needs to work on cutting and fine motor skills in general. Again, this is only once a week.
3. Nature walks are a great way to enrich your school. We take one short walk once a week and bring our sketch books. My ds doesn't really sketch much yet, but he always wants to bring his book along. I try to encourage him to verbally tell me what he sees, what is interesting, what he remembers. These enrichment subjects do help special needs children develop in areas in which they are weak, such as language, observation, memory, cooperation, and fine/gross motor skills.
In general, I try to take some time to present enriching experiences even if it's "beyond" him. I feel he takes what he can from these exposures, and it can't hurt! Taking a little time to pursue the more enjoyable
subjects helps me to feel better about my homeschooling program, and also seems to boost my energy a bit, because I look forward to it as much as the children do!
Finally, it is hard to accept the reality that with your first few children you can usually do a lot more. You are younger, have more energy and enthusiasm, and don't have as many demands on your time. As the family grows and mom gets a little bit older, adjustments have to be made and some things are going to fall by the wayside. On the other hand, you probably have more patience, more knowledge, and more experience to help you determine what is important to focus on with your children. So, in God's good, perfect, and acceptable plan, it all will work out!
__________________
In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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JuliaT
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I don't have a large family but I do have three children who are all dyslexic. We spend alot of time doing the basics but I do not let that take away from our time to do the 'fun stuff.' I believe they need that to nourish their soul. I have been able to fit them in with workboxes. When I am working with one child, the other two are able to do a fun activity. Everything needed for that activity is in the box so it fosters independence. This is one thing that has helped me a great deal in ordering our learning time and having the fun things included as well.
Blessings,
Julia
mom of 3 (10,8,6)
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rose gardens
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Paula in MN wrote:
I don't have any advice, just !
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Thank you!
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rose gardens
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stellamaris wrote:
My special needs ds, who is 8, also takes up a lot of my time. He is dysgraphic, has expressive language and processing difficulties, short attention span, and maybe a memory problem (but it seems like he really remembers lots of details of everything except his school work, so it could be an attention issue). He has a twin brother, and a younger brother of 6 who are also currently being homeschooled. My other children are either grown, or in colleges or high school, but until just this fall I also had a 13-yr old at home.
I have really tried to enrich our schooling experience even though this can be very tough with my ds. He objects to lots of activities, and also is hypotonic (low muscle tone), so nature walks, etc. are a challenge. However, I try to incorporate him as much as possible at his level. Some ideas that have worked here:
1. Lots of read alouds: At first, my ds would leave the room, or even cry if he didn't like the story. Now he is beginning to enjoy this time. I let him leave, but he wasn't allowed to just sit and cry because that ruined it for everyone else. We are always working on a geography read-aloud. Right now, it's Red Sails to Capri. We supplement the reading with coloring maps and labeling them, cooking food from the country we're reading about, coloring the flag of the country, doing a craft from that country, learning a few words, etc. Ds participates as best as he can, and while I don't always know how much he is learning, he enjoys it and I feel it is slowly exposing him to subjects of interest, as opposed to the constant "grind". All of your children might enjoy this, except of course the baby! We only do one "special" activity a week. I think with a lot of younger children and special needs children, it is important to simplify.
2. Biographies of musicians along with listening to selections of their music. Picture biographies of artists and picture studies of their works (usually one artist every 2 months or so). We often do an art project highlighting some technique or subject of the artist. For example, we are currently reading about Matisse. We did a very simple cut and paste picture similar to his later works. The more advanced children did a more advanced work, I was happy my ds was able to even cut any shapes and paste them on. This was great for
him as he needs to work on cutting and fine motor skills in general. Again, this is only once a week.
3. Nature walks are a great way to enrich your school. We take one short walk once a week and bring our sketch books. My ds doesn't really sketch much yet, but he always wants to bring his book along. I try to encourage him to verbally tell me what he sees, what is interesting, what he remembers. These enrichment subjects do help special needs children develop in areas in which they are weak, such as language, observation, memory, cooperation, and fine/gross motor skills.
In general, I try to take some time to present enriching experiences even if it's "beyond" him. I feel he takes what he can from these exposures, and it can't hurt! Taking a little time to pursue the more enjoyable
subjects helps me to feel better about my homeschooling program, and also seems to boost my energy a bit, because I look forward to it as much as the children do!
Finally, it is hard to accept the reality that with your first few children you can usually do a lot more. You are younger, have more energy and enthusiasm, and don't have as many demands on your time. As the family grows and mom gets a little bit older, adjustments have to be made and some things are going to fall by the wayside. On the other hand, you probably have more patience, more knowledge, and more experience to help you determine what is important to focus on with your children. So, in God's good, perfect, and acceptable plan, it all will work out! |
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Thank you for your reply. Very interesting as my ds (8)also used to react the same way to our read-alouds, (leaving the room, complaining, etc.) I made an effort to pick books he'll enjoy, and he's improved, (then his twin sister became less interested in the stories. Can't please everyone all the time.) I also like your limit to "special activities" once per week, as that seems a managable load. You described the types of activies I used to do with my older children, but we did more than just once a week, and eventually somewhere along the way, we stopped.
I also like your suggested musical component. I've read a few studies/theories on dyslexia and language processing about using music to improve listening and processing skills.
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rose gardens
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JuliaT wrote:
I don't have a large family but I do have three children who are all dyslexic. We spend alot of time doing the basics but I do not let that take away from our time to do the 'fun stuff.' I believe they need that to nourish their soul. I have been able to fit them in with workboxes. When I am working with one child, the other two are able to do a fun activity. Everything needed for that activity is in the box so it fosters independence. This is one thing that has helped me a great deal in ordering our learning time and having the fun things included as well.
Blessings,
Julia
mom of 3 (10,8,6) |
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I like that idea too. What type of activies do you keep in their workboxes?
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ALmom
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How we've handled dealing with special needs during school is somewhat predicated on the fact that it was short term - ie the therapy was supposed to resolve issues in a year. Of course, we ended up with 5 folks needing therapy. I was intense with the therapy with the first, handed over the second to dh, got a second wind the next time around and did it .... In the end we did something like 7 years of therapy. We are just coming up for air in the past 2 years. However, because the therapy was the critical key to making things possible for us, I actually called therapy a great portion of my school and ditched all but absolute essentials in academics. I know I could do this because my situation was a temporary one. For those with more permanent challenges, the approach would have to be different. I think that is one of the challenges of working with special needs - it brings to the forefront with great forcefulness that every child is unique. You just cannot do with one what worked with another. Each family has to figure out the proper course for them in all humilit and prayer - taking into account the special needs, the needs of the rest of the family and the reality of the talents and energy levels of those involved. There isn't any advantage to having taught this last year - this year it is a totally new problem. While other children could blend more - or cope better when things weren't ideally suited for them, these children needed the tayloring just to make any progress.
It does impact school (academics) and life (parenting). We tried to do the best we could, taking things in prayer; trying to address the real needs of all. We had to prioritize. I am horrible at prioritizing. I've always had the tendency to think unrealistically that if it was a need, then there had to be a way and we were going to tackle it perfectly NOW. I had to grow quite a bit in that area. I've learned to relax and enjoy the children more for who they are. I've begun to let go of the worries and just take things one step at a time. These are our goals this year. Looking back, there were many blessings in this whole venture. With special needs, there isn't a canned curriculum anywhere that saves you the planning. Everything must be taylored. My children were never anywhere close to one level in anything. We were all over the map - maybe working on basic, rudimentary, elementary spelling and reading Beowolf (same child mind you) themselves and enjoying and understanding it. Someone might be doing high school chemistry minus the math, but couldn't write a sentence. The process is exhausting and impossible if you are trying to do everything all at once. We began to focus on the greatest need one year at a time. One year we tackled writing, another year we tackled organizational skills (in life and in school). I couldn't panic that my 6th grader still couldn't divide to save her life. We tackled that and she is doing Algebra II - but we had to find a program that worked for her. I couldn't hand her Saxon and have her grade her own work like some of my other friends did (quite successfully). I learned to appreciate the gifts here in this house and utilize them. We found what did work and ignored grade levels. We did what we had to do and were real mavericks for quite some time. It was hard. I had a dream in my head I just had to let go of. No, we were not going to be perpetually following children's interests. I had to be a bit more systematic with these children or we'd avoid certain very important skills entirely. But I did learn to let them run in some areas while we were intensely working on a problem area. In the end we all discovered some really beautiful things and now that all that therapy is behind us (or most of the way, still finishing up the last bit with one child and we still have a huge spelling challenge with one) and the children have settled in to a style of learning that works for them (at least this year), we are having a few years, at least, to bask in the joy of watching them persue things.
During the midst of this, we found it important to have some plain old fun times set aside - just to be a family with no therapy, no pressure, just enjoying each others company. We tried to be a bit proactive in planning fun outings or in the case of my stay at homer, a family game night or movie night or roasting marshmellows in the fireplace or doing rolling logs across the living room floor. Whatever got us all laughing and creating memories together. We made tents with the sofa cushions or camped out on the floor or...
I learned to try not to compare what others were doing with their children. We couldn't do all that right now, life just didn't allow it and we had to just trust that it would be OK. The worst times for me were record checks - not because of our reviewer, she was marvelous and complimentary, encouraging and often helped me see progress that I just hadn't seen before- but it was in reviewing other folks work and seeing all the neatly written answers to questions or the fantastic stories or .... There were some really remarkable things these kids were doing and I'd forget and fear of whether my children would ever do that would take over - and all the second guessing about if I were a better teacher maybe ..... I just had to recognize that as temptation. We were doing what we had to do.
I didn't see it at the time, but my children learned other life lessons during this time of life. They learned to help out, to be compassionate with the stuggles of others, to help by encouragement but not always by doing for someone, we all learned a lot of perseverence. To this day, my children are quite sensitive to others, they may have overcome their early challenges but they have a memory of how it felt to struggle, to be different, to be frustrated at not seeming to be able to do what they wanted to do. We learned to communicate more effectively. If I missed something because I was preoccupied with a child's special needs, my children learned to tell me in a nice way - and we all learned to forgive and recognize that we all have our limits, our weaknesses, but we love each other profoundly and we will adjust with each new need that comes to our attention, always trying to be attentive to all. There were times when I would sense that maybe the special need was taking a lions share and another child's needs were slipping under the radar. I'd set aside some time to sit down and just talk one on one with the child and see how they felt. Sometimes it was just me being paranoid and wanting to spend more time with a child rapidly growing. Other times there were some needs that had been missed, some healing that needed doing and we worked out a plan together, forgave and adjusted. God is good.
Lots of hugs and prayers.
Janet
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JuliaT
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For workboxes, I put in art activites-paint, clay, drawing materials, clouring, etc, listen to book on CD (I give them a time limit), computer time, playing games (Racko, Uno, Mancala, etc) with the other siblings, baking with their older sister and nature study sketching. These are some of the things that I put in their boxes.
Blessings,
Julia
mom of 3 (10,8,6)
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stellamaris
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Janet, just wanted to let you know that your beautiful post truly encouraged me this morning. Sometimes it can be a long haul and it is easy to lose sight of all the good that God can bring out of these challenging situations. Thank you again!
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In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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Willa
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You have already gotten some great advice. I'd just like to add this:
When my older kids were young I was often overwhelmed.... I was often pregnant, we moved several times, I didn't know much about homeschooling or even bringing up children. When my oldest was 13 we had Aidan and that meant several years of medical crisis after crisis. There were many days we didn't get past the basics.
All the same my oldest four are doing well in college or highschool. My oldest just graduated from Thomas Aquinas College with straight A's pretty much throughout. And if you had seen his chaotic earlier days of homeschool....! Even though I have way more time to devote to my younger set I'm not sure if it's made a huge difference in outcome. My point is that if you get the basics down and cultivate a desire to learrn, you're basically in good shape in my experience.
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AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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rose gardens
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Thank you all for the wonderful advice, support and encouragement! I truly appreciate that you took the time to reply to my original post and share your own experiences.
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hopalenik
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Thank you for the post. My oldests is probably dysgraphic, and has issues. My twins (well the one had a transplant, then it failed and now it is dialysis) the other has a visual tracking problem that is hindering the reading. With my 4th whom I just started schooling, I have felt the relief of zero struggles. She can socialize, she can read, write and count, she can fold the laundry, and doesn't need to be reminded 50 times that an empty dishwasher is EMPTY. None of that came easily to the first three. I have spent 5 years crying to sleep every night wondering what I was doing so wrong. And there has been no joy in my home because of it. Now I understand that it isn't me. But I still don't know how to get 2 LD children remotely close to the basics, get the third who is delayed because of medical issues up to par, and school the fourth (not to mention the baby and 3 yo). I want to do fun things and extras. My oldest refused. She refuses to lap book, do projects or expirements. She refused to color or draw ( and frankly it shows. Her coloring and drawing is equal to the 5 yo). So there was nothing fun that happened. She would listen to books but the hearing impaired boy and the probably autistic-visual tracking girl refused to listen to stories. Now they want stories but the little ones are used to hearing them....
Holly
It is very hard to bear all of my crosses. I just would like to carry them with a little more grace.
__________________
Holly
Mom to dd 10, twins dd and ds (transplant as baby that failed 05/09, permanent dialysis patient) 8 , dd 5 and dd 3 1/2 and dd in Feb 2009. 2 I hope to meet in heaven.
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stellamaris
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Prayers for you, Holly.
__________________
In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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rose gardens
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hopalenik wrote:
Thank you for the post. My oldests is probably dysgraphic, and has issues. My twins (well the one had a transplant, then it failed and now it is dialysis) the other has a visual tracking problem that is hindering the reading. With my 4th whom I just started schooling, I have felt the relief of zero struggles. She can socialize, she can read, write and count, she can fold the laundry, and doesn't need to be reminded 50 times that an empty dishwasher is EMPTY. None of that came easily to the first three. I have spent 5 years crying to sleep every night wondering what I was doing so wrong. And there has been no joy in my home because of it. Now I understand that it isn't me. But I still don't know how to get 2 LD children remotely close to the basics, get the third who is delayed because of medical issues up to par, and school the fourth (not to mention the baby and 3 yo). I want to do fun things and extras. My oldest refused. She refuses to lap book, do projects or expirements. She refused to color or draw ( and frankly it shows. Her coloring and drawing is equal to the 5 yo). So there was nothing fun that happened. She would listen to books but the hearing impaired boy and the probably autistic-visual tracking girl refused to listen to stories. Now they want stories but the little ones are used to hearing them....
Holly
It is very hard to bear all of my crosses. I just would like to carry them with a little more grace. |
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I am quite humbled reading the stories and struggles that others of you face. God must have waited to give me a child with a learning disorder because He knew that I would probably have given up if I had to face such parenting challenges earlier.
May St. Simon of Cyrene interceed for you and help obtain more grace in carrrying your crosses.
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4Real Forums : Special Blessings
Topic: when a child takes more time to teach
