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At_His_Feet
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| Posted: Dec 17 2008 at 5:56pm | IP Logged
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We have 2 kids on the spectrum (aspie & PDD-NOS). 
I am concerned for our NT son. I feel like he misses out because most of his time is spent with his brothers who are so different to him. I also see the wonderful benefits which can come from living with kids with special needs, but I also think he needs a break sometimes. He is very social, and I am struggling to find friends for him. He has shared with me how lonely he feels. 
How have you managed this at your home? Any tips?
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Tricia
Mum to 3 boys 17, 15, and 10.
Do whatever He tells you
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Helen
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| Posted: Dec 18 2008 at 8:19am | IP Logged
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This is such a tough topic Tricia. I'll remember you and your family in prayer today.
Awhile ago I wrote about RAD and the other children Living with children with special needs can be very, vry trying. I've tried to believe that this is really the best for all my children because the Lord ordained this life.
Here's one way
to look at RAD, reactive attachment disorder.
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Ave Maria!
Mom to 5 girls and 3 boys
Mary Vitamin & Castle of the Immaculate
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SimplyMom
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| Posted: Dec 18 2008 at 12:27pm | IP Logged
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Wow, I could write book on this I think.
It has been one of my biggest concerns. My morning computer time is at an end, but I will come back this afternoon and write about what we have done and what we have seen wrt to this.
In the meantime you are in my prayers.
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Darcee
SimplyMom from Simply Catholic
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mom3aut1not
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| Posted: Dec 18 2008 at 12:39pm | IP Logged
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Tricia,
I wasn't hsed, but I am the sister of a severely autistic man. Our lives revolved around him and coping with his needs and behavior. Even when he was in a residential placement, my parents were still focused on him.
I knew that my parents needed me to do more than my peers did. I didn't really have an issue with that, but the two things I would have liked are 1) occasional time with a parent by myself and 2) acknowledgment of my hardships and appreciation of my efforts and hard work. As for social stuff, I am not a social butterfly, but I had a few friends I met in a church or in kindergarten.
This is an area of struggle for us as my non-ASD child has issues of her own which have an impact on her social life.
In Christ,
Deborah
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SimplyMom
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| Posted: Dec 19 2008 at 4:52pm | IP Logged
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OK, so I finally manage to get back to this.
One of the hard things for our children having a special needs sibling was how it limited the family outings we could have, no sleep overs or at home birthday parties, that sort of thing. It was also really complicated when Rachel was placed in her residential setting. That was a big change.
I know sometimes it is hard for them when people notice that Rachel is different.
Some things that we have done to help: We are sure to spend some one on one time with each child. I think this is always important to children, but especially if the SN child sucks in a lot of the parents' attention. Rachel's school had a "club" for special needs children's siblings. I think it is also important for siblings to be able to honestly talk about the ups and downs of having a sn sibling.
I think for a long while we were way to housebound because of Rachel's behaviors and this was bad for all of us, but especially the younger children. I think we could have made things much better for everyone if we had arranged for more respite care more frequently.
Anyhow... this is some of what I have been thinking. Hopefully it will be a little bit useful.
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Darcee
SimplyMom from Simply Catholic
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Helen
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| Posted: Dec 20 2008 at 9:19am | IP Logged
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SimplyMom wrote:
| Some things that we have done to help: We are sure to spend some one on one time with each child. I think this is always important to children, but especially if the SN child sucks in a lot of the parents' attention. |
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I've been thinking that this is such a good idea. In better weather, we spend a lot of time taking hikes and walks with our family. Since we have more children than there are days in the week, we couldn't assign one day per child. But an activity that all can do (I sling the baby) and bring a jog stroller for the middles. Walking gives us a healthy outlet. IN a nature setting, the special needs kids can act special without much impact. The other children get a chance to speak to mom and dad about life.
We tried a rail trail bike ride this summer too. That will work better when some of the kids are older.
I'm not sure I'm addressing the original question so please keep posting!
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Ave Maria!
Mom to 5 girls and 3 boys
Mary Vitamin & Castle of the Immaculate
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tntreefarm
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| Posted: Dec 30 2008 at 7:25am | IP Logged
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Hi,
I have so many concerns in this area also. In spite of all the stuff you read about what a wonderful experience it is having special needs children, I can't say it looks that way from where I am. And, I can't say that my "normal" children seem to have benefited from the experience- looks more like suffering to me and it doesn't look like the kind that's good for the soul.
We just keep doing our best and pray that it will all work out.
With Hope,
Cathy
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Helen
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| Posted: Dec 30 2008 at 10:07am | IP Logged
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SimplyMom wrote:
| I think we could have made things much better for everyone if we had arranged for more respite care more frequently. |
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Yes, respite care can seem a very big step but maybe we don't consider it enough? I have to tell myself -- maybe we all just need a break every once in awhile.
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Ave Maria!
Mom to 5 girls and 3 boys
Mary Vitamin & Castle of the Immaculate
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4Real Forums : Special Blessings
Topic: Our "normal" kids.
