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donnalynn
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| Posted: Jan 26 2008 at 8:21am | IP Logged
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My special blessing is named Christian - he is now 8 and "officially" second grade.
Christian was born with a clubfoot and then diagnosed with very mild benign congenital hypotonia at 9 months - (a fancy way of saying lax muscles). He has always had slight developmental delays but nothing that my dh (he is a special ed teacher)and I felt we couldn't handle - we've always employed a "6 month rule" - note a difficulty and then see what happens by the end of 6 months.
I think he just needs a little extra time - which brings me to the reception of the sacraments. He is ready for First Confession and First Holy Communion on an intellectual and emotional level but I am a little worried about going through the actual form of the sacrament of Confession.
He speaks well but tends to really mumble when nervous - he is not reading yet and while I am sure is capable of memorizing the Act of Contrition - I don't know that he will be able to simply recall it under pressure.
I know all children get nervous but Christian tends to exhibit some of those "interesting" behaviours when he is flustered - patting himself on the head for instance.
It's frustrating - because he is just a little off - his difficulties tend to be seen as simply behaviour issues - it is not a lack of discipline but a real difference in how he interacts with the world. It's just painful sometimes to see how other people look at him when they don't know him. And what should I do - do I go through some long drawn out explanation of who he is???
I am probably worried over nothing - maybe mostly venting my own fears...the DRE is very supportive - and maybe I should just have a word with the priest also?
I guess I'd just like to know how your special needs children handled their First Confession if you wouldn't mind sharing.
Thank you.
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donnalynn
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folklaur
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Is he nervous about making his first confession? I only ask because my son is also,  "a little off", and I was much more nervous about the whole thing than he was. My son did fine. And, well, lots of the NT kids are nervous and act goofy due to that, too.
Does your parish do it in a very relaxed setting?
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hylabrook1
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I think if you talk things over with both the DRE and your priest, your concerns can easily be addressed. They would probably let Christian read or be coached/coaxed through the Act of Contrition. After all, his inability to recite it wouldn't be due to not feeling contrition, but to the mechanics of saying the prayer aloud. Also, if he already knows or can become comfortably well-acquainted with your priest, it would undoubtedly be easier for him. As an Atrium catechist, I have worked with a number of children who had developmental delays and difficulties, including a lovely little boy who has Down syndrome. Every time, things were handled with sensitivity and attention to the child's particular needs. Our priest was very supportive and the children all had a very good experience of these First sacraments.
Praying that all goes well for Christian.
Peace,
Nancy
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momtomany
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My special needs 12 year old son still has trouble remembering the Act of Contrition. We go over it even standing in line for Penance, but still he can't remember it all. He does understand sin and the sacrament of Penance, so the priest lets him use a very modified form. Actually priests wind up coaching many people in the Act of Contrition while in the confessional, people without special needs. For my son, the key is always having him go to a priest that knows and understands his problems.
If that can't be done, then we sandwich him in line between family members, so that someone explains John to the priest after their own confession, then John goes, then I will go in and explain him again before my confession.
I have always found priests to be very understanding and compassionate.
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Mary Ann in PA
wife to MIchael, mom to Elizabeth, Becca, Tim, Peter, Andrew, Sarah, Matthew, John, Leah and Joseph
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donnalynn
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I like the sandwich idea! 
Their first confession will take place as part of a larger retreat (which I will attend too and dh will meet us for lunch and the actual Sacrament part).
I will continue to hope and pray everything goes well - I am happy with the resources I have and I am pretty confident we'll be ready!
Thank you for your prayers...
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donnalynn
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| Posted: Feb 16 2008 at 1:25pm | IP Logged
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We did it!
Christian made his first Confession today - everything went fine.
I could tell he was a little nervous because he kept smooching me - but that's a little less obvious than hitting himself in the head .
He seemed to fit right in with all the other children, participated in the all the activities, answered many of Sister's questions. I was sooo proud of him.
I can also see that he is really catching up to his peers! The only trouble we had was that the little service before individual confessions was a bit on the print dependent side - the children were expected to read responses (together). Dh and I just read it with him and he did the best he could.
A happy day here!
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hylabrook1
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Donna -
Such good news! Congratualtions to both Christian and you!
Peace,
Nancy
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mandmsmom2001
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Way to go!
As the Mom, I found myself the one who was concerned when my ds10 made his first communion - he was at the peak of his OCD and has major food issues. I was so afraid he'd have an overwhelming response to the texture of the host and spit it out! I talked with the priest and he calmed my fears and reminded me it wasn't his first go-round! All went well!
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momtomany
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Donna, I'm so happy to hear that all went well with your ds's First Penance!!
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Mary Ann in PA
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donnalynn
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Bumping this up with a plea for prayers and any advice.
We went to a rehearsal for ds's FHC today - it did not go so well. 
He was a little silly and very wiggly. Anyone there would have thought the child never made the Sign of the Cross before in his life - used the wrong hand, touched the wrong shoulder first. I couldn't believe my eyes. 
I asked him afterward if he were nervous and he said he was "bored". 
Part of the problem is that they are worried about every child having something to "do" - so at the Offeratory six children are bringing up a cloth - four children are bring up bread and wine, etc..
On the bright side - we do still have a week and I am thankful to have this time to help him.
I am especially looking for any ideas to help him keep still (at least a little!!). Usually during Mass he's very good - he usually sits next to my dh - he participates and is generally very good. I'm not sure what was happening today!
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donnalynn
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momtomany
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Donna, I don't have any answers but I will be praying. I remember with my son, they had the same thing, everyone was supposed to have a part to help with. He had to bring up part of the gifts. I remember when he accomplished that without any mishaps, I actually cried. A woman behind me passed me a tissue. She must have just thought I was some kind of sentimental fool.
There was a severely autistic boy in my ds's FHC. I remember that his mom sat with him at the end of the pew with the other children. I'm sure most people just thought that she was a helper for the Communion class.
Anyway, I understand the stress something like this can be like. I'll be praying for you!!
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Mary Ann in PA
wife to MIchael, mom to Elizabeth, Becca, Tim, Peter, Andrew, Sarah, Matthew, John, Leah and Joseph
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4Real Forums : Special Blessings
Topic: Sacraments
