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Maturemomg
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| Posted: March 05 2007 at 7:23pm | IP Logged
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Hi!
I have a dd, 3, who has Down Syndrome. She is my 7th living child, 3 others are still at home (and homeschooled).
You mentioned pressure to put your dd into school.
So tell them all to go fly a kite!
YOU YOU YOU are the parent.
YOU YOU YOU are the expert on your dd.
If YOU YOU YOU believe school is the best place for her, put her there.
If YOU YOU YOU believe school is the best place for her 3 hours a week, MAKE them work with you.
YOU YOU YOU are the authority and in charge.
You may consider their input, but YOU decide what is best for your dd.
In Minnesota, they are required to provide services in the home for the first three years. We have had very nice people who come and work with my dd. But at 3, she must "go to school" for those services (or we can pay for private, or get none). They are more than happy to come get her on the bus, etc. Yeah, SURE! My 3 yo, who in reality is more like an 18-24 month old!
What we have done (rather sporadically I might add) is take her twice a month to school for therapies, etc. Time in between (15-30 minutes usually) she gets to be in the special ed classroom (we are with her all the time- usually me and another sibling). And how they LOVE her. And how GREAT it is that she is interacting with the other kids..... Like DUHHHH...
And how great school is for her. They play games and nada nada nada!
For phooey! I strongly suspect we will not be going much. What they do is fine and nice and dandy, but no big deal.
Example: for speech they will have some toy or game and make her imitate sounds before she gets the toy. For physical therpay they have her go up and down steps. Occupational thereapy is stringing beads.
ALL of ths kind of stuff we do at home, ALL day long, just naturally as in REALLEARNING!
Rosemary (whose hearing is fine) knows about 100 signs (thank you Signing Times). AND she can READ. I kid you not. She doesn't talk at all ready, using words, but we discovered she can READ. She will sign a word correctly when presented with no picture, just letters, on a card. (Again, thank you SIgning Time vidoes AND Love and Learning.) She started reading at 2.
Now, in her "preschool" her teachers know a few signs, but they don't do reaading or anything like that.
At home, we just naturally tailor what we do with her to her needs and ability. Right now, we working (beginning to work) on dressing and undressing. I don't need a special doll with buttons and zippers. We have CLOTHES! I don't need an occupational therapist to help her learn- we have KIDS!
Now, there IS a time and place for the therapists and possibly even school. I think, for us, speech may be the biggest thing, and we may well utilize the school for that. though what she is getting at this point is not very impressive. She DID have an excellent speech therapist over the summer- a retired lady with 40 years experience including working with kdis with DS. The first day she asked me to tell her about Rosemary adn I'm talking away and mentioned she could read (she was only 2) and the lady (in her mind) is like "Yeah, sure..." Then later, she witnessed Rosemary reading and was flabbergasted! "She's a genius! What are you doing with her??" Well, she IS smart, but the reading is just repetition. (Which IS impressive, but not necessarily genius.) Anyway, we may hire this lady privately to come and do speech.
Another thing with the school I have found is that they are overwhelmed and overburdened. They cannot give the time and effort to each child (and a PLAN for each child) as they deserve. And they need to spend time on paperwork... I know Rosemary's speech therapists are planning what to do with her as they walk down to the classroom. They have IEPs and all that, but they don't have the time to devote to a good plan.
Anyway, my posts tend to be long winded!
YOU do what YOU (and your dh) think is best.
Just because someone has letters after their name does NOT mean they know what is best for your dd. YOU do. more than anyone!
PM me anytime. You don't have to be isolated!
Yours in Christ,
Kathy
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marysjoys
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| Posted: March 05 2007 at 7:50pm | IP Logged
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Kathy,
You are an angel, this little pep talk is just what I need while preparing for the onslaught of another CPSE meeting!
"My 3 yo, who in reality is more like an 18-24 month old!" That's Christina exactly, she's nearly 5, but at 3 developmentally,she can barely speak, so I felt awful putting her on a bus with strangers! It haunted me the entire year. I should have trusted my gut, and now, that I have dear friends like you, Kathy, I WILL!
God bless you! 
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Mom to three lovely girls, Gabby, 13, Bella, 9, and Christina, 5 who has Down Syndrome.
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Maturemomg
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| Posted: March 05 2007 at 8:59pm | IP Logged
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Oh, AND
you do NOT have to explain yourself or ANY of your decisions to anyone! It REALLY is NONE of their business. (Pet peeve of mine- everyone thinks everything is their business!)
So you can simply say
"Christina will/will not X."
If they ask why, IF you want you can explain. But MUCH MUCH better and EASIER is to say, "Well, my dh is the head of our household and in completely support him in HIS decision to X (or not X). So you will haev to talk with him about it."
Now, if he is there, they MIGHT ask him, but often I find they don't like to talk to men (in an assertive aggressive way). If your dh is NOT there at the meeting, the chances of them calling him are very small. If they DO talk to him, he does not have to say ANYTHING. Simply this is the decision. Now, he MAY choose to be a LITTLE more forthcoming and say, "We feel this is best for Chrsitina at this time and will let you know if/when we change our minds."
If you try to convince them you're right, no way. They haev been indoctrinated their way.
We have had about 8 different people coming in regularly over the last 3 years. All very nice good people. They saw how our home worked (dh works from home). Everyone is here all the time, usually, milling about. Once in a while my dgds would be here, or my older children (2 married) and they would see and visit them. They knew we homeschooled sice the beginning with all- the older adult kdis were kind of "proof in the pudding". And they liked and admired ALL my kids, could see they were fine human beings and could talk and all that! And they could EASILY see that Rosemary had a VERY good environment to be in. And often complimented us on all the stimulation she got and help from the other kids (which just happens, it is not planned or anything).
BUT BUT BUT, when she became that magical 3, SCHOOL IS the BEST place for her to be! Because X, Y, Z, and {, @, and ^! For sure! Yes, Uhh-huh. You sure know best.
She will get the same amount of love and attention and stimulation at school. And be able to communicate well with them because they know all her signs and idiosyncracies. And the ratio of "adults" to child is good. (Like at home we have 2 teenagers, 1 12yo, 1 mom and 1 dad to our one special needs child.) yes, at 3, SCHOOL can do better than home.
So, don't even try to defend your choices. You have no obligation to do so, and you'll waste your time and energy. Let your dh handle it if he will.
Yahhooo- I'm feeling perky tonight!
Dh is out of town (he rarely is, so I'm spending more time on the computer than normal!)
Yours in Christ.
Kathy
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4 lads mom
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| Posted: March 05 2007 at 10:12pm | IP Logged
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You GO Kathy!!!  
I have found that as well with therapies...we had 3 therapist in the house weekly when my ds with his trach etc..was a little guy...each came 1-2 times a week. It was a circus...but very helpful. They all raised eyebrows at my homeschooling, "you are still homeschooling through this?" But, in the end, when ds did so great, they all smiled and said, "he wants to be just like his brothers, so motivated this little guy is, THANK goodness the boys are all home showering him with attention". Bingo....
We still do speech outside of the home a few times a month, private pay, but I have to laugh when she says, "He is doing so great, you guys are working so hard at home".....through my early pregnancy haze, yeah, sure....actually, this little one is so full of himself, he will NOT be left out, and is constantly working harder automatically at speech to be heard and understood.
All of this said, thank goodness for therapies...they were a lifesaver for this poor tone, floppy little guy who didn't walk until almost 2, but I have to give Kathy a resounding "ditto", you really are in charge with your kiddos...and you really know these special little people the best!!
Kathy, I knew I was going to like you after that unschooling post!!
4 Lads' Mom with baby due in Sept.
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marysjoys
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| Posted: March 06 2007 at 9:12am | IP Logged
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Wow, another cheerleader! Thank you so much, 4 lad's Mom!
I too have had mixed reaction to the home invasion by 4 therapists, most have been won overby the wholesomeness of my girls, and have come around, like yours, when they see the constant interaction, often mimicking what goes on in therapy(Isabella, age 9 likes to play teacher with her little sister, using what they're doing in therapy)
But there was an angry speech therapist earlier this year. ..whose presence I dreaded, and she tried to run my home like a drill sargeant, asking for constant help to catch Christina as she fled from her! She acted as if she were Annie Sullivan, and Christina a savage Helen Keller!This lady brought out the savage in her, as she would do anything to get away from her. She insisted she sit immobile and mimic her every move,instead of teaching her, as I begged her numerous times, everyday language, in normal interactive situations.
I have taught foreigners English for 17 years,and I know that if you teach relevant language first, they stay motivated. For example, if she can ask for a cookie, then gets one, she's keener to learn next time you want to teach her.I even brought in a behavioral expert to observe the therapist and offer constructive suggestions. The poor lady, she tried to loosen up emotionally(she had gone through a bitter divorce, and had lost her Catholic faith in the process) tried to memorize a lullaby to sing to Christina to win her over. What kind of mother doesn't know any lullabies? We have to remember the great spiritual poverty of most of these women.
As I was gathering my courage to fire her(she's paid via the Health Dept but I do have some say over therapists)she decided that as a family, we were incorrigible, and she was wasting her time trying to teach Christina anything outside of a school setting. What a relief I felt on her last day in our home! 
Christina's year in school did NOT improve her score on the Preschool Test, she showed the same steady climb in ability that she had the previous year at home with therapists. Even without scientific evidence however, the 'experts' insist that school is best. Amazing.
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Mom to three lovely girls, Gabby, 13, Bella, 9, and Christina, 5 who has Down Syndrome.
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4 lads mom
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| Posted: March 06 2007 at 10:38am | IP Logged
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Marysjoys..
I had similiar experiences with 2 speech therapists..what is it with speech therapists?!?! This one brought dirty toys for my little guy to put in his mouth, she would put HER finger in his mouth without washing it or putting a glove on....I fired her...couldn't deal with that!! We had a very similiar experience with another speech therapist who was teaching my guy sign...she always threw the whole house into a tail spin, everyone was tense.....I was so glad when we were done...
Keep sharing....
4 Lads' Mom with baby due in Sept..
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marysjoys
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| Posted: March 06 2007 at 3:14pm | IP Logged
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Speech therapists are as busy as can be around here, and so they're hard to find. Maybe they know it!
I have had three for Christina and haven't been satisfied yet. In case you think I'm too picky, she's had the same PT since birth, Denise, whom we both adore, and her OT and Special Ed teachers are great, and really take constructive criticism when given, and try to be flexible when she rejects their game plan.
But speech therapists have a highly technical education, and maybe they think mothers are ignorant. The first therpist never engaged Christina, and preferred to chat with me. The second, at school taught her lots of useless information, like how to sign lion, and elephant, which had absolutely nothing to do with real life. She never used the signs at home without prompts.
I'll wait for the CPSE meeting next month, and see if they can come up with another therapist. I've tried all my contacts, and they're all booked up. Meanwhile, she's starting to use much more language now that the last therapist isn't harassing her!
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Mom to three lovely girls, Gabby, 13, Bella, 9, and Christina, 5 who has Down Syndrome.
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marysjoys
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| Posted: March 29 2007 at 8:38pm | IP Logged
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OK, ladies, I'm gearing up for the CPSE on April 17th, I've read "When Slow is Fast Enough" and am collecting my thoughts to present a bit on the book to the school representatives. Please pray for me.
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Mom to three lovely girls, Gabby, 13, Bella, 9, and Christina, 5 who has Down Syndrome.
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Willa
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| Posted: March 29 2007 at 9:49pm | IP Logged
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I will pray. If you get a chance, I'd love to hear something about how it goes.
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AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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marysjoys
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| Posted: March 29 2007 at 11:50pm | IP Logged
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Absolutely, Willa, I'll be posting on my blog and here, hopefully with a positive reaction from them.
It doesn't matter to my daughter, however, because thanks to your support, her mom is firm in her resolve to homeschool!
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Mom to three lovely girls, Gabby, 13, Bella, 9, and Christina, 5 who has Down Syndrome.
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4Real Forums : Special Blessings
Topic: MarysJoys- Down Synd & school
