Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Cay Gibson
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Posted: Feb 11 2007 at 6:17pm | IP Logged Quote Cay Gibson

What defines a "special needs" child?



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marysjoys
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Posted: Feb 12 2007 at 1:08am | IP Logged Quote marysjoys

I would follow the legal definition used in New York, any child who falls significantly below the norm for developmental milestones (20% or more) because of physical, emotional, or cognitive disabilities.
It sure sounds cold and clinical, but it's useful. It just doesn't say how much we love them!

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Posted: Feb 12 2007 at 5:48am | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth

The problem with that definition is that it's misleading. When Christian was tested at four, using that criteria, he checked out just fine. Now, at fourteen, he's clearly 20% behind academically and he's immature and so distracted he can barely function some days. He's got a laundry list of diagnosed learning disabilities.

Nicholas, at six, is well ahead of his peers academically, is physically gifted if anything and I don't know how to quantify "emotionally." But he repeats 50% of what he says under his breath, he hums while eating but doesn't seem aware of it, he blinks his eyes quickly whenever he's feeling emotion,he starts counting out of the blue and won't quit--they're all tics. He's another one who was dismissed at four--"he'll outgrow it." He's darling and endearing and delicious and delightful and even our closest relatives don't think there's a problem but I see things.

I guess my point is that if you suspect there is a special need, there probably is.

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Posted: Feb 12 2007 at 7:22am | IP Logged Quote Bridget

In another thread, Willa wrote this:

"you are welcome to introduce yourself if your special blessing has very mild issues as well. Even if he or she hasn't been formally diagnosed.

Another category is a child's medical issues. If you think the medical challenges impact your homeschool, even if the child has no particular learning differences."

That seems to be a broad, welcoming definition.

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Posted: Feb 12 2007 at 9:55am | IP Logged Quote marysjoys

I certainly don't feel that the legal definition is by any means the best one, just a starting point for discussion. Of course, as homeschooling mothers, we are unique in our ability to pinpoint out child's strengths and weaknesses.
I just meant to imply that if you are getting involved with the system, as Lissa and I have, this is the criterion which must be met, 20% delay in one area, or two 10% delays in different areas. I was trained as an advocate for Early Intervention parents, and I suppose this gave me a more 'legalistic' bent.
I apologize if this has inhibited anyone from sharing their struggles to educate their special needs children.




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Posted: Feb 12 2007 at 1:01pm | IP Logged Quote KellyJ

I suppose I always thought one of our blessings is covered under this category, even though he is not disabled, is not delayed, is clinically considered "normal," etc. He has issues that don't gel with his being "normal" and which the "experts" cannot explain or help with.

I think Mom usually knows, intuititively, when she has a special blessing, regardless of whether the trials and blessings of that child are apparent to others.

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Posted: Feb 12 2007 at 1:25pm | IP Logged Quote Taffy

Personally, I think that every one of us has "special needs" in some regard or another. After all, we are all human!

For the purposes of education, which I think is why many of us come to this board in the first place, I personally quantify a person with "special needs" as one who can't follow a standard curriculum without necessary modifications.

There are the obvious "special needs". The child who is blind will need to learn to read in braille and requires all reading material to be either in an audio format or in braille. The deaf child won't benefit much from read-alouds; learning to read early will be necessary in order to comprehend language well.

Less obvious, are the children who on the surface appear normal, yet have some learning difficulty that becomes apparant when you're trying to teach them. For my linguistically delayed son, we have to make major modifications in his learning material. For the child with a limited attention span, one needs to shorten lessons.

I also categorize the child who has difficulties in a group of their peers as "special needs". A child who can't focus or learn in a group lesson has special needs. A child who is extremely shy and can't ask for help from their peers has a "special need".

Most parents who homeschool are involved enough with their children to know when their child requires extra help. When the requirement for extra help is so great that you seek out professional help, you know you have a "special needs" child.

Clear as mud?

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Posted: Feb 12 2007 at 1:37pm | IP Logged Quote Willa

marysjoys wrote:
I apologize if this has inhibited anyone from sharing their struggles to educate their special needs children.


Marysjoys,
I don't think you have to apologize. I figured Cay was asking a sort of philosophical question aside from the specific function of this board. You gave a legal definition of the qualifications for Early Intervention and that's good information.

Bridget and Elizabeth brought in that our focus here will be wider because there are quite a lot of children outside of the state qualifications who still have "issues" that will affect their homeschooling.   Plus, I was thinking that there are some homeschoolers who choose not to have their children evaluated for whatever reason, but are aware of difficulties their children have.

Now, to paste what I drafted this morning.

The three broad areas I see as encompassing "special blessings" for the purpose of this board are:

1. The straight developmental delays that put a child in the government system for "intervention" through public school or state or federal programs.

2.   Medical and clinical issues that affect homeschooling.   I think these definitely come under "special blessings" for our purposes.   

3.   Learning differences caused by, say, emotional or sensory or background or health "issues" (adoption might be an example of a background issue).These may be relatively minor but still affect how a child learns


Other areas might come up but I can't think of any right now.

Aidan has all three. It's difficult sometimes to see where one begins and the next ends. They all affect our homeschooling. One of my older kids has much milder issues that fall in category 3.   He has not been diagnosed but I find some of the special needs information useful in understanding him and helping him prepare for his future.

I was pondering whether broadening the definition would be in danger of diluting the focus here (not that anyone said this, I was just speculating to myself). I don't think it will dilute the networking, at least not at this point.

If more people are encouraged to participate there will be more of a synergy of shared experience.   Since we don't have very many experts here and this is more of a support network of parents we need that pool of shared background as a resource.   That is a mixed metaphor! Perhaps "net" is the best word -- we will probably benefit from casting a wide net.   

There is one more aspect relating to "special blessings" in a homeschooling family.   It is the effect that complicated children have on the siblings, the parents, the homeschool in general.   One mom once mentioned how much time she spent in doctors' waiting rooms and how that made it difficult to meet homeschool goals.   Cay brought up financial stresses and Irene brought up situations that come up in the adult life of special needs people.   The more anecdotes and information we all have about this sort of thing, the better the support network will be.   Plus there is the sheer need for companionship in the journey! Our special blessings may come with special stresses!

Anyway, these were some of the things that occurred to me in thinking over what the special needs designation should cover on here.   

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Posted: Feb 12 2007 at 1:51pm | IP Logged Quote Willa

This raises another question that I'm curious about:

What triggers parents to look for outside evaluation? There are probably various children who would not qualify for EI, who have various conditions that affect their ability to learn.

Do you think it's ever irresponsible NOT to look for outside evaluation?

I must admit to being a bit of a skeptic about outside intervention.   I realize that part of this is just ME and not necessarily rational.   The other part of it is that I don't agree philosophically with some of the intervention methods that are in standard use.

I suffered from selective mutism for several years in grade school.   I feel rather blessed in some ways that this was before the days of widescale interventions.   I was allowed to deal with the issue myself.   

Please understand me -- I'm not saying that I think outside intervention is never helpful. I probably could have gotten some skills from some intervention with my mutism.

What I am saying that like all things there is a tradeoff of costs/benefits, and this is often not acknowledged.

Aidan takes anti-rejection meds.   It is certainly better to take the meds than to reject his liver; however, the meds indubitably cause side effects and pose potential dangers such as cancer.   In this case it is worth it. Other cases have not been so clearcut. There have been times when we have dragged our feet for some intervention the doctors called for and time has proved that we were right to be cautious (and the doctors have acknowledged it in retrospect)


My point is that intervention specialists don't seem to have gotten to where they acknowledge this danger in ANY intervention, not just medical ones.   At least not that I've ever read or heard.   One exception is the book I wrote about on my blog When Slow is Fast Enough which is an intensive case study of some of the problems with some kinds of early intervention.

It does not make a case for getting rid of EI, but for rethinking some of the goals and methods.   It actually proposes a model based more closely on the organic family one. It is a good read.    

ANyway, a bit off the thread topic but it is an ongoing side question in my mind. Aidan actually progressed much more rapidly when he stopped going to EI.   He had built up such a resistance to therapy that it took some much more lowkey, experienced and wise therapists several months to overcome his therapy-aversion.   

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Posted: Feb 12 2007 at 3:31pm | IP Logged Quote marysjoys

Willa, I was writing a response to that great post of yours; it really got me thinking about EI and it's benefits. . . when the Special Ed. teacher showed up, and I had to help her with Christina. Not that I consider them in any way babysitters, but the EI therapists so often don't engage Christina in their sessions, that I have to assist them throught the entire lesson, taking chunks of time from homeschooling I can't afford.
This is just what Slow is Fast Enough is talking about, so I made sure I ordered it from my library. The reviews on Amazon were very telling, parents liked it and administrators questioned it! I can't wait to get it and let you know what I think. This brings me back to my great student teaching supervisor, Carolynn, who suggested I read the book, "Teacher" about an unconventional teacher in New Zealand working successfully with Maori children, while not imposing too much structure. Does anyone know where I can get a copy of this book? It was a real watershed for me, and affected the way I approached education. I think the system has gotten to me, after 17 years,(I've taught in schools for 10 years)and I need a refresher. I'm not pulling out of EI (or in Christina's case, SEIT) yet, but I'm wondering if maybe her frustration is from the failure of the teachers, NOT the student!

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Posted: Feb 15 2007 at 5:43pm | IP Logged Quote benedicta

In my state (NC) when my children had IEPs (elementary school), they were classified as OHI (other health impaired). I guess this is a good catch-all when a child doesn't fall into that 20%, but still has learning issues.
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Posted: Feb 15 2007 at 6:12pm | IP Logged Quote Willa

marysjoys wrote:
This brings me back to my great student teaching supervisor, Carolynn, who suggested I read the book, "Teacher" about an unconventional teacher in New Zealand working successfully with Maori children, while not imposing too much structure. Does anyone know where I can get a copy of this book?


I have this book! I picked it up at a library sale.
Teacher

You are right, it's a good one. I ought to read it again.

I was just writing on my blog recently about how she would give each child a word every day.   She found that if she let them choose a word for her to write (these were pre-readers) that reading became emotional and powerful for them.   They would remember the word and treasure the little card with the written symbols on it.

I have been trying this with Aidan in a sort of MOntessori context.   I read that MOntessori has something like a "word box" where you can match sight words with objects.   But it's more real to Aidan if it is words for things around the house that he emotionally connects to -- fire, wheel, top, things like that

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Posted: March 05 2007 at 2:47pm | IP Logged Quote hopalenik

Did I see that someone else here has a child with a transplant-could it actually be true? That would give me great joy to talk with another Catholic homeschooling mom, who understands the life of transplant kid!

My son, had a kidney transplant as a baby along with a host of other medical problems. We started schooling him and his twin in Kin this year. I real ball of fun that has been. We have 5 kids. The oldest being a 7 year old second grader who has handwriting aversion but is otherwise a good student-now. She did not decide until this Christmas that school was worth putting any effort into. My twins are 5 1/2. They came at 31 weeks. We have had them followed meticulously on the spot. Nadia is fine and Josh is fine to but he needed the off and on help from OT, speech and feeding and audio (he is 50% deaf). But now he is OK and learning how to read and learning how to write and counting. But I had to keep at the therapists, in order to keep us on track. Except when coming off the feeding tube that he had for a year, we never saw a therapist for more than 2 or 3 sessions but it was necessary and useful. They gave me ideas and games to play with JOsh in order to correct each minor problem that arose.

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Posted: March 05 2007 at 3:15pm | IP Logged Quote Nina Murphy

I just read this thread for the first time and read Eliz.'s first post and oh my gosh, I am in shock. Those "tics" are what my Clare does.   She has a series of responses, behaviours, habits, that are troubling to me. Everyone says that she needs more discipline and is just wild or try to be nice describing her as: very "creative", "unique", "funny" "energetic", "daring" "spirited", and "that Clare!"

So, where do I go from here?



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Posted: March 05 2007 at 3:46pm | IP Logged Quote msclavel

Elizabeth wrote:

I guess my point is that if you suspect there is a special need, there probably is.

Nothing helpful to add. This is exactly where I think I am with my six year old daughter. I suspect...something, but can't quite get at what "it" might be. Trying to teach her has been soooo challenging. I do very little schooling with her because just trying to get her to start working becomes a MAJOR battle and completely disrupts the time for the other kids. I've had kids grumble and not want to do school some days, but her reactions are something else. And at this point I know she is falling behind other first graders.
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Posted: March 05 2007 at 4:28pm | IP Logged Quote amyable

This is an interesting thread (not sure how I missed it the first time around?)...

I have had similar conversations with moms at a food allergy support group meeting. What exactly is a special need? It has been a struggle for some of these moms to get the schools to take them seriously - to see food allergies in particular as a special need serviceable by IEPs and 405 Somethingorothers (LOL, I can't remember the legalese...) Yet one child could *die* if simply NEAR milk products. Ummmm...I call that a special need!    Even the ones that are less serious. It effects their lives significantly, especially out in public... yet it isn't "educational" or even a medical issue per se...in that as long as their environment is kept a certain way, there IS no problem. (except maybe for the mom trying to feed them and keep them safe all the time, of course. )

Anyway... maybe I'm being a little too lenient in my definitions, but I feel my children have special needs

... the one sided hearing loss, that doesn't really effect her educationally but we still have lots of doctors visits and learning to use/care for a hearing aid, and the fact that I *think* she can hear me when maybe she can't (which leads to frustration and discipline issues at home)

... my dd who has alopecia - emotional aspects of that, dealing with doctors, treatments that may have side effects (this dd also has "real" special needs in learning/vision/behavior areas, we think) But is the alopecia a "special need"? Hard to say, but it isn't "normal" and certainly affects our life

....food allergies as stated above, asthma, serious eczema, etc...

Hmmmm,I'm not sure exactly what my point is (forgive my addled morning sick brain, lol). Just jumping on my "mild problems, especially a host of them, can still cause major stress/issues in a homeschooling household and need to be respected by others" soapbox. Of course I'm not saying that you wonderful ladies are guilty of disrespect! But others are...maybe some who may find this thread.

Soooo...all this to just add my $.02 to the "what is a special needs child" thread.

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Posted: March 05 2007 at 5:58pm | IP Logged Quote 4 lads mom

Amen to you, Amy!! I had a child with a trach and g-tube, who had 11 surgeries....I can say without hesitation that my other child with the same life threatening milk and peanut allergies you mentioned above is without a doubt as stressful if NOT MORE than taking care of my child with a trach!!......DS is an amazing child with wonderful gifts, but intense!! Asthma meds do not help that intensity. He has some real anxiety issues after going to the ER in respiratory distress lots of times...or his face swollen from touching a LIBRARY book with food residue on it! Fixing food for him is a full time job, because he has some real food adversions and obsessive about what he eats tasting JUST RIGHT.

Thanks for joining the discussion, Amy. Two pregnancy brains almost make one, right?

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Posted: March 10 2007 at 11:04pm | IP Logged Quote Karen T

Elizabeth wrote:
Nicholas, at six, is well ahead of his peers academically, is physically gifted if anything and I don't know how to quantify "emotionally." But he repeats 50% of what he says under his breath, he hums while eating but doesn't seem aware of it, he blinks his eyes quickly whenever he's feeling emotion,he starts counting out of the blue and won't quit--they're all tics. He's another one who was dismissed at four--"he'll outgrow it." He's darling and endearing and delicious and delightful and even our closest relatives don't think there's a problem but I see things.

I guess my point is that if you suspect there is a special need, there probably is.


Elizabeth, my oldest son, now 13, had many of those same tics (and many others) when he was younger. We first really noticed them at about age 6.5 but in retrospect he'd had some sort of tic going on since at least age 4. Some were verbal tics (humming, repeating under his breath like your son, counting, clearing his throat ALL the time) and some were facial grimaces, blinking, etc. he was completely unaware of doing most of this until kids at school started pointing it out to him (fortunately most of them were not unkind - amazing!). After watching him for several more months we finally got a referral to a pediatric neurologist who confirmed Tourette syndrome. however, the medications used to control severe tics had too many side effects and limited efficacy for us to consider at that point. I was able to talk with his teachers and get some concessions for him, such as taking tests off by himself so he wouldn't distract others with his humming, etc., without having to go through the whole IEP route (familiar with that now for my 2nd son who had speech and OT issues). Anyway, although getting a diagnosis helped me prepare for possible problems down the road, it didn't change anything for Shane really. Fortunately, most of his tics have disappeared over the years and only reappear in times of extreme stress. I wonder if he'd be more stressed if he were still in public school?
A lot of boys (girls too, but Tourettes is much more common in boys) do get better as they approach puberty, although some get worse at that point. Let me know if you'd like more info on Tourettes.
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