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Anneof 5
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| Posted: Jan 21 2007 at 6:24pm | IP Logged
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I am looking for some advice or direction on what to do with my 5yodd. It is a long story, but she is really driving me crazy right now. We had had her in a preschool for 2 years and we have been hsing her this year, trying to do K. She had been "followed" by the ps early childhood special education teacher (pediatrician recommended this) for the past 2 years and was observed monthly at her private school preschool. She did have some obvious SID behaviors 2 years ago at home and school and did use a few things at school like a special mat to sit on and fidgets to hold during circle time etc. She was observed by the OT on occasion. Last year the behaviors were pretty much gone and she had a great year in preschool. Her teachers thought she did great and the sp ed teacher couldn't really find any reason to keep her services continuing except to say she could use more practice socializing.
This fall we started K at home and she was doing pretty well until just before Christmas. I posted on the Catholic Mosaic board about her becoming upset after I read her "The Clown of God". She obsessed about dying and her heart stopping. It has gotten better but I still see her little hand over her heart at times to check to see if it is still beating. Now she is worried that the house will "break". She is almost impossible to work with, humming and laughing and scribbling on her pages, etc. She rewinds movies and watches the same parts over and over. She has bitten her 7yo brother a few times and scratched a little boy at church. She also seems to be craving the sensory stimulation, kicking her feet, standing on her head, crashing into the couch, drumming on the table. She prefers a pencil to color with and instead of just circling something in her phonics book she has to make an elaborate scribbling mess all over the page. She can find the right answer most of the time but it can take a while. She actually has good fine motor skills as well as gross motor. Her behavior is just defiant a lot of the time, very jealous of her brother (you love him more than me). I am beginning to dread our school time together. I have read some on SID but some of it doesn't sound like her. Sometimes I just feel like I am a lousy parent!
I have a check up scheduled for 2 weeks from now with her pediatrician and hope to discuss things with her. However, she is really all for the school system to deal with these things. I really do not know who to talk to or who to trust. I met the special ed teacher at the local ps last spring and didn't really like her. She also changed her whole demeanor when she heard we hs our other kids. I am only trying to find out what is best for her, even if that means I need to put her in school (reluctantly).
Thanks for reading this and if you have any ideas I would really appreciate hearing about them.
Anne
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chicken lady
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| Posted: Jan 21 2007 at 6:31pm | IP Logged
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Anne what is SID???
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Tami
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| Posted: Jan 21 2007 at 6:36pm | IP Logged
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I was going to ask the same thing, Molly, since I thought Anne was referring to something else...
Wait, maybe Sensory Integration ____ (Disorder, maybe?)
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Tami
When we are crushed like grapes, we cannot think of the wine we will become. (Nouwen)
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Taffy
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| Posted: Jan 21 2007 at 6:54pm | IP Logged
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Um, I really am not sure what to think from what you've written but the first thought that came to my mind was "Is she getting enough vigourous exercise?"
Take this with a grain of salt as I have 3 boys and no girls. However, I do notice a direct correlation between poor behavour and exercise time. The days that the boys get lots of outdoor time and running, climbing, etc in, they are usually much more compliant at home and less likely to to be irritable. This is especially true for my boy with PDD (a form of autism). Try and get outside everyday, no matter the weather (although if it's -40C with the windchill, maybe try for an indoor gym  ). This may be enough to settle her down.
Also, for a lot of people, junk foods with lots of artificial additives or long shelf life, cause behaviour problems to arise. Cleaning up the diet may be necessary after the feasting at Christmas. Vigourous exercise will help with this as well since sweat is one of the ways our bodies detoxify...
Heavy exercise also helps with SID (Sensory Integration Disorders). The books The Out of Sync Child, and The Out of Sync Child Has Fun have a lot of useful info for dealing with this.
These links from 4Real might also be of interest to you...
How do you know?
Feingold Program
Hope you get some answers soon...
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Susan
Mom to 5 on earth and 1 in heaven
Susan's Soliloquy
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Anneof 5
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| Posted: Jan 21 2007 at 9:08pm | IP Logged
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I am sorry. I meant sensory integration disorder.
Thanks for the ideas so far! I am trying to get her outside daily in spite of the cold. She actually likes the cold and snow. I am also trying to clean up her diet, but she is a tough one. She actually begs my oldest dd to bake brownies. I know she reacts to sugar (St. Nicholas day was a disaster) and I have her eating eggs for breakfast now as we are no longer buying cereals and waffles, etc. She complains and wants to know how long she has to eat them!
Anne
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Theresa
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Anne, I don't have any suggestions but I will sure be praying for God to direct you and for Holy Spirit led, creative ideas and ways to teach and work with her at home. I've had to do that with my 4 year old many times.
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Theresa
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Marybeth
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| Posted: Jan 22 2007 at 7:05am | IP Logged
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http://www.parentchildhelp.com/">
I hope these links work!
Check out Mary Sheedy Kurcinka for practical and gentle ways to help your child. I just finished her new book on sleep...I am recommending it to everyone.
I would check your dd for allergies...she could be craving sugar for that reason. If you are looking to give her a high protein breakfast, why don't you check out some recipe sites for other ideas besides just eggs. Would she drink a smoothie with protein powder added? What about yogurt with wheat germ mixed in the cup?
You are NOT a lousy parent. You are trying to help "figure out" the whys to your daughter's attitude. That makes you a caring and compassionate mother! 
Please keep us updated and ask more questions if these answers aren't pointing you in the right direction. You can trust the people here...everyone is very helpful and willing to pray even if they can't answer your questions.
God bless,
Marybeth
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shartlesville
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| Posted: Jan 23 2007 at 11:37am | IP Logged
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Anneof 5 wrote:
| I posted on the Catholic Mosaic board about her becoming upset after I read her "The Clown of God". She obsessed about dying and her heart stopping. It has gotten better but I still see her little hand over her heart at times to check to see if it is still beating. Now she is worried that the house will "break". |
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I think a lot of kids this age have simliar fears. I remember my sister crying everytime Little House was on because she "didn't want (our) Mom to die" even though the "mom" on the show didn't die. It was a fairly irrational fear but very "real" to her.
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She is almost impossible to work with, humming and laughing and scribbling on her pages, etc. She rewinds movies and watches the same parts over and over. She has bitten her 7yo brother a few times and scratched a little boy at church. She also seems to be craving the sensory stimulation, kicking her feet, standing on her head, crashing into the couch, drumming on the table.
She prefers a pencil to color with and instead of just circling something in her phonics book she has to make an elaborate scribbling mess all over the page. She can find the right answer most of the time but it can take a while. She actually has good fine motor skills as well as gross motor. |
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The biting and scratching are obviously unacceptable and should have appropriate consequences but the rest sounds like mostly normal 5 year old behavior. Many children have favorite parts of videos and stories and like to listen to them repeatedly. Also some children work better with background sounds which may be why she is humming and drumming. You might try putting on some classical music while working.
The standing on her head, crashing into the couch, etc. sounds like boredom. If she can't get outside, maybe you can find a fun children's exercise or dance video. Or maybe there is a dance or tumbling class available.
It sounds like "school at home" may not be working for her. Maybe a more Montessori type approach would work better for her. Or maybe the work is too easy or too difficult. It could be that you are spending too much time on tasks. Some children are not ready for formal schoolwork until they are 7 or 8, especially if they have learning or other disabilities.
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| Her behavior is just defiant a lot of the time, very jealous of her brother (you love him more than me). I am beginning to dread our school time together. I have read some on SID but some of it doesn't sound like her. Sometimes I just feel like I am a lousy parent! |
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I am not sure what SID entails but your description sounds more like what my oldest daughter (now 18) had/has - Oppositional Defiant Disorder or ODD. She would purposely try to make people angry or upset and would not cooperate most of the time. She also had mood swings - happy and loving one minute, angry and hateful the next. She used to claw her older brother's face and pick the cat up by it's tail. She would chase the big kids on the playground with sticks.  When Emily was a baby she would poke her with sewing pins. We had to watch her VERY closely.
Milk made things MUCH worse. We cut it out for two weeks and she was good as gold, my b-i-l gave her mac-n-cheese one day and she was a real terror. You might try eliminating milk and maybe look into the description of ODD.
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I have a check up scheduled for 2 weeks from now with her pediatrician and hope to discuss things with her. However, she is really all for the school system to deal with these things. I really do not know who to talk to or who to trust. I met the special ed teacher at the local ps last spring and didn't really like her. She also changed her whole demeanor when she heard we hs our other kids. I am only trying to find out what is best for her, even if that means I need to put her in school (reluctantly).
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I might consider looking for a more supportive pediatrician and I personally would not put a child with ODD or other behavior problems in a school setting ever again, it was the worst mistake I have made (so far and hopefully ever) raising my children but she was in 9th grade when I decided to send her.
Well, I hope you find at least something in this long winded post helpful.   I will keep you both in my prayers. If you need to talk, feel free to PM me.
Blessings,
Krisann
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Krisann
DH Cris;
DC John, Elizabeth, Lilyann ^i^, Emily, Kate, Julia, Sam, & Jack;
DGC Kira, Auston, Travis, & Sarah.
My Blog: Isla del Esperanza
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4Real Forums : Special Blessings
Topic: SID or what?
