4Real Forums: A Blogpost for New Special Needs Mama's

Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.

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Topic: A Blogpost for New Special Needs Mama's

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4 lads mom
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Joined: Sept 26 2006
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Posted: April 12 2014 at 10:21am \| IP Logged

I wanted to to send encouragement out there for new mamas who have just had special needs babies.

There are a TON of books encouraging new mama’s. But when you have a baby that isn’t challenging you with sleep deprivation because of nursing but because you are g-tube feeding them and suctioning their trach every night.....it’s just a different level of mothering that isn’t quite covered in the “new to motherhood" books.

Do you find online support in having special needs children? I think so many of us are so busy, it’s hard to find that support....I’m just wondering where you seek that. Obviously, our first support is Our Merciful Lord...and Our Lady...and the Saints.

I’d love to hear where you find yourself going online, or if you do at all, to gather and talk about life “this side of special.”

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rose gardens
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Joined: Feb 23 2006
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Posted: May 16 2014 at 9:15am \| IP Logged

This board doesn't get too much activity for special needs. I hadn't been here for a very long time, but I logged back on just to answer this question!

I have a child with dyslexia, which as special needs goes isn't nearly as difficult as what many people have. In fact, it took me a while to even realize that we were dealing with a special needs child because I blamed myself and my teaching for far too long! Dyslexia frequently goes undiagnosed. But dyslexia can feel like a particular challenge as a homeschooling mom--especially when my preferred homeschool style focusses heavily on reading!

I found a great deal of support on another homeschooling web site, the Well Trained Mind, which has a lot more discussion about dyslexia and related learning struggles on their special needs and learning challenges board. That's where I go most often for support. The fact that I'm even back here on the 4real forums indicates that my son is doing better! On the other board I found other homeschoolers, some Catholic and some not, who were going through similar experiences in trying to teach their children. On a few occasions, I also got some other help online and phone support from talented people that I largely learned about through that them. A few experts were particularly helpful, (I'll mention Susan Barton by name because my family owes her a great deal of gratitude.) I learned about Barton and the Well Trained Mind from this website originally, many years ago. So I owe this community on this forum website a debt of gratitude too.

In real life, I know people who have special needs children. As I've learned more about special needs, I've come to realize we have much in common. It took me far longer irl to open up to people that one of my children has dyslexia. Just as I blamed myself and my homeschooling for his learning struggles, I fear that people will blame me for it. (And I'm still not sure that some don't.) It isn't obvious from looking at my child that he has something going on, and I feel like I somehow need to protect our privacy--and even our freedom to homeschool.

That self-blame or fear of others blaming me and my homeschooling is a big part of my challenge with my son having dyslexia. Now that he's made much progress with his reading, I feel more able to open up about it irl to people outside of my immediate family. My husband and at least one of my children has had to listen to me ramble on about dyslexia far more than they'd like. Having a website where I can ramble on about it with other homeschool moms was a good thing for my family life and my marriage. And now that I'm back here, I have to say I'm grateful that my husband didn't want to listen to me ramble on and on about our son's reading struggles one day--that is what pushed me to search the archives on this forum about reading struggles that put us on the road to finding the help and support that both my son and I needed. :)

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