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Mrs. B
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| Posted: May 19 2011 at 9:49am | IP Logged
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Hello,
Do you mind if I ask for some ideas on my eldest? I don't know exactly how to explain, but we have known since she was 4 or 5 that she has problems.(She's 9 now.) She has little quirks in her behavior that make me think she may have some kind of background problem and it isn't just adhd,or dyslexia. (She has symptoms of both.) My friend shocked me Tuesday by saying that she was a high level, functioning autistic. She does things some times that make us think "what is wrong with her?"
Sometimes she has a startling lack of empathy for other people. She is given to impulsive behavior that can be dangerous sometimes. She has a hard time remembering that she must not leave the property without telling us.(She has a friend that she keeps trying to visit who lives pretty near to us, so there is a lot of temptation for her. I think she is beginning to understand that she must ask first. She doesn't want to loose the friendship, so she is trying hard.)
Other things, it has taken her a long time to read. She's "technically" in third grade but reads at a younger level. She has made steady but slow progress and can now read short chapter books and get most of the words. She can hardly spell at all. Even simple words are spelled phonetically, "Love" would be spelled "luv". She reverses letters and numbers. She does pretty well with math. Writing is very hard for her.
She goes through periods of time when she won't have any accidents, but then will wet the bed a couple of times a night. She has a hard time sleeping and often we find her on a couch instead of in her bed. She does take things without permission, food and possessions and she has a hard time understanding why we would be bothered by that.
Despite these problems she manages to function well. She is fun loving, energetic, usually cheerful, helps with the little kids.
Sometimes I feel as if we need to be more proactive and take her to doctors etc.,to find a way to medically help her. Other times,I wonder if this is all something she will grow out of, that time will take care of, and I want change too quickly. We don't have a regular doctor so that would be large hurdle. My dh doesn't know what to do, but he doesn't like the idea of taking her to a doctor. He seems to think she will just grow out of it.
As much as I like the idea of home schooling I feel unprepared to handle a child with special problems. Homeschooling has just never gone easily for us. I feel guilty that she takes 3 or 4 hours of my time,and most of my energy to direct and teach and my other two students don't get nearly half that time and energy. I feel like I can hardly do this. I also don't think she would do well in a school, so I feel our options are limited.
Well, now I feel like I wrote a book. If you have any ideas about how we could learn more about children with problems like this, could you share them with me?
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: May 19 2011 at 11:02am | IP Logged
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I would start by looking up online about autism and aspergers.. and see if you feel like this is something you're dealing with. If not then you've eliminated that concern.. but if she does.. there are a lot of resources out there (I don't know them by name but I know they exist) to help you understand her and help her.
You don't need an expert diagnosis to find what helps kids who do have autism or aspergers and see if they help her too.. not every strategy helps every child even with the diagnosis. But if it helps you help her.. then the time is worth the research.
I would worry less about the diagnosis unless you just really need that to help you. And more about finding "tools" to help you help her. Just because a "tool" that helps children with autism helps her, doens't mean she must have autism. But it's a good tool for you nonetheless.
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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stellamaris
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| Posted: May 19 2011 at 12:27pm | IP Logged
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You might check your library for the book Engaging Autism. It has information on primary and secondary characteristics of autistic children, as well as approaches to helping them develop that are very positive and current.
However, I would also encourage you to get a complete medical evaluation. My son has many autism-spectrum characteristics, but these are the result of other health-related problems he has (among them kidney problems and other genetic issues). His growth and development have been affected by his health difficulties, but fortunately there is a way to treat him easily for the worst of the kidney problems. This does not "fix" him, we still have many areas to work on and the autism book I mentioned above is one resource I'm using now, but without the medical support, he would be way too exhausted and sick to progress developmentally.
Also, there are many wonderful therapists and special needs consultants (we work with one who is very supportive of homeschooling and homeschooling her own special needs daughter). You will need help; this is not a road you should feel you must walk alone. Don't be afraid to ask for information, guidance, and support.
Homeschooling Children with Special Needs is another great resource. The author, Sharon Hensley, is the special needs consultant I work with. She is a positive and supportive Christian woman who has a lot of great ideas for solving specific problems and who is a wonderful sounding board and "ear" for this often-frustrated mommy. Dealing with our own emotions can be as difficult as dealing with our special needs children's challenges.
Finally, you might try Home School Legal Defense as a resource. They do have a service that provides special needs information and resources. You may be able to get from them the name of a doctor who is home-school friendly, if that is part of your dh's concern.
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In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to  dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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kristinannie
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| Posted: May 19 2011 at 1:09pm | IP Logged
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Have you talked to her pediatrician about this? That is where I would start.
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John Paul 8.5
Meredith Rose 7
Dominic Michael 4.5
Katherine Elizabeth 8 months
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Kathryn
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| Posted: May 19 2011 at 7:08pm | IP Logged
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Your daughter sounds *A LOT* like my son!!! I would be embarassed to admit how many times we have asked our son, "WHAT's WRONG with you?!?!" I looked up both Asperger's and Autism and honestly there were quite a few checkpoints that just did not fit him at all. So, that's def. where I would go first is to check on-line for those checklists and see if she meets some of those criteria.
For my son, we've had further testing done and although some of the testings were borderline, we're treating him as if he has ADD as well as some level of dyslexia and dysgraphia. I will admit it is an extreme challenge with him. We have not started medication but might consider it at some point. Consistency with discpline is a huge help. Actually writing down the consequences for certain things.
This is a great website with tools to help you curb some of the behaviors you are seeing:
http://www.chadd.org/
Good luck,
__________________
Kathryn in TX
(dd 16, ds 15, dd 8, dd 5)
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Mrs. B
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| Posted: May 19 2011 at 9:43pm | IP Logged
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Thank you for the resources you have mentioned. Her dad and I will both be praying and learning about this as we try to discern the right way to help her.
We don't have a family doctor or a pediatrician for the children.
Hubby is calling me for prayers but I will respond more tomorrow. Thanks, Mrs.B
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Mrs. B
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| Posted: May 23 2011 at 6:17pm | IP Logged
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Well, after doing some reading I can honestly say that I do not think she has autism or aspergers. We have known that she probably has adhd for a while but We have not formally tested for it but it is obvious that she has unique problems.
"Homeschooling children with special needs," is a great book. I just got itin the mail today and ahve been reading off and on today. It has interesting information in it about special needs kids, and about parents. It explains some of what I have been feeling lately.
Thanks for taking the time to respond to me.
We still haven't made a plan yet but we are praying about it!
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Mrs. B
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| Posted: June 10 2011 at 9:28pm | IP Logged
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Wanted to give a quick update. We made an apt with a doctor, and will be taking her in to explain what is going on. I've also begun to research emotional behavior disorders, and special needs. We've called the local public school and the psychologist told us that it sounds like she was displaying passive aggressive behavior.
We joined hslda, too. I've been reading their information on special needs, too.
That's about as far as we are right now.
Has anyone used the public school for testing before for emotional behavior disorders?
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Grateful in VA
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| Posted: Nov 08 2011 at 3:22pm | IP Logged
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I had my 8.5 year old son evaluated by the school(he's been attending since kindergarten) last year. He was tested by the school psychologist and head of the special ed department. Their main focus was to find out if he child had a learning disability and qualified for special ed services within the school. My son was found to have a learning disability and has been placed in an inclusion class where he is allowed many modifications in his class work and testing. I try to use the same techniques for his homework that I know they are using with him in school.
Our experience has been that the school psych. and special ed department are only concerned with his grades.
We just brought him to a child psychologist to have him independatly evaluated on Mon. We are hoping to get some help with non school related problems we are having with him. Our parent Dr. meeting is scheduled for this Thur.
On a side note, our major medical insurance will pay for the psychologist. I'm pretty sure that if a severe enough deficiency is found there may be a chance that social security will pay. Just something you may want to look into.
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Grateful in VA
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| Posted: Nov 08 2011 at 3:28pm | IP Logged
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One more thing...
It's been my experience that the school won't diagnose any specific disabilities they only test to see if there is one. To get a more specific diagnosis you will have to go elswhere.
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4Real Forums : Special Blessings
Topic: trying to help this child
