| Author | |
Donna Marie
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: New Jersey
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2530
|
| Posted: March 25 2011 at 8:34pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
My twin dds are 17 and they have an auditory and visual processing problem. They have a very hard time with spelling and math. They work on it all of the time and have made steady progress over the years, but a math whiz or a spelling ace they are not.
Now, my dds are doing an internship with an organic gardener for the year. He asked one of my dd's a math problem that he wanted her to solve quickly in her head and she froze. She said she just couldn't think about it no matter how he asked her and she and her sister felt very bad. He said he was "shocked" they didn't know it and he said that word no less than 6 times. He thinks that they just aren't practicing enough and they lack the confidence to do it...both assumptions are very erroneous on many fronts. They tried to explain they had a disability and he doesn't seem to believe in them(learning disabilities) 
I have to call this man tomorrow and set things straight, but I don't know what to say to him. It is a heartache for me that they have to go through this and a heartache that others can be so insensitive and arrogant about how others' crosses. This man has homeschooled his two bright children but he totally doesn't understand. What do I say that won't make the situation worse and makes him realize that they are being provided for??
My dds need me to give them some kind of lines to share with others so they aren't so unprepared in the future..which of course things like this will happen again. They are very gifted in lit and history and religion and the like. Math..NO...spelling...No...and this has them labeled as "uneducated" or it points out the failings of being part of a large family or being homeschooled??
We work on math for long periods of time for YEARS. They are very sensitive to the fact that they are not where their peers are. They are also very sensitive that they may never do well on something like the SAT. I have them classified as Sophomores at this point and we were hoping that they will continue to improve enough over the next year to get a decent grade on that test, but we just don't know right now.
How do I handle this? They are such mature, capable, and talented young ladies. This kind of encounter makes them feel less than stellar and they feel that it cost them a lot in credibility. What can I say to help restore their confidence??
They were grilled about things like: if they were tested and what books they use and who teaches them and the like...just because I don't have them part of some formal 'system' they aren't ...what? being educated properly?? They are so afraid this will become ugly. Help?
__________________
God love you!
Donna Marie from NJ
hs momma to 9dc!!
Finding Elegant Simplicity
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
kristinannie
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 27 2011
Location: West Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1363
|
| Posted: March 25 2011 at 9:35pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I don't have any advice for you, but I just wanted to let you know that I will pray for you to have the grace to handle the situation properly. I'm so sorry that some people just don't know how to handle themselves!
__________________
John Paul 8.5
Meredith Rose 7
Dominic Michael 4.5
Katherine Elizabeth 8 months
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
mamasue
Forum Pro
Joined: Nov 09 2009
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 139
|
| Posted: March 25 2011 at 10:37pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
No Advice, but I will pray for wisdom for you. What a tough situation... Some people can be so rude
Suzette
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JodieLyn
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 06 2006
Location: Oregon
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 12234
|
| Posted: March 25 2011 at 10:51pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
When people don't want to credit me with the sense I was born with, I grab a convenient "authority". If someone is worried about the size of my child instead of explaining that both dh and I were small children I would say "our doctor doesn't find it to be a problem".
If you have a convenient authority to use.. simply point out that such and such authority is aware of the girls difficulties and that the girls are working hard to overcome their difficulty and he could help most by noticing the things they are good at.
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Martha
Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 25 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2291
|
| Posted: March 28 2011 at 7:51am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Oh wow Donna Marie! How rude of that man.
He should stick to gardening. I want to go all mama bear on him. 
I would call him and explain whether he can see an issue or not, I have it on medical authority that my daughters do in fact have a bit of a delayed processing issue, which is most apparent in math and spelling. Yes, we are forever working on improvement in is area and are actually making great progress considering their difficulties. Please do not grill my daughters on this sensitive issue. They know where they are in math and making them feel bad about it doesn't help them improve, it just adds more discouragement. Tyvm.
As for what your girls can say. They can say the truth. Or what my oldest son and I say when someone pops a math question on us.
"Math! Not my strong suit. It makes my brain freeze up and seize and then go completely blank."
Which is the honest truth. If someone asks me a math question on the fly, my brain, which usually never stops whirling, suddenly seizes and goes completely blank. At that moment, I have to think hard to spit my name out. 
Hope this doesn't get ugly or mean for your girls. 
__________________
Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
Yes, they're all ours!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
MichelleW
Forum All-Star
Joined: April 01 2005
Location: Oregon
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 947
|
| Posted: March 28 2011 at 11:33am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Donna Marie,
Are you comfortable sharing what you ended up doing? My special needs kid can't remember the days of the week, the months of the year or his birthday. It comes up in medical offices where the adults look at us like we raise our children in the closet...just wondering how you handled it.
Blessings,
__________________
Michelle
Mom to 3 (dd 14, ds 15, and ds 16)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
drmommy
Forum Pro
Joined: Dec 14 2009
Location: California
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 394
|
| Posted: March 29 2011 at 10:04am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I will be praying for you on this. My daughter has such a difficult time with math, and I hate it when well-meaning people say, "oh, she will get it". She is progressing, but when we see the doctors, they blame her lack of speedy progress on homeschooling. It is very, very frustrating to me sometimes, until I mention the fact the reason why we ARE homeschooling is because the school district refused to provide her with the help she needs (let alone other issues!).
I am thinking just being open and honest are the best things you can do right now. The truth is the truth, and won't fail you. I am disappointed in the lack of compassion and understanding of the man who homeschools.
I am interested to know how this plays out.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
4Real Forums : Special Blessings
Topic: SOS...I need some advice.
