4Real Forums: I'm tired...

Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.

Active Topics || Favorites || Member List || Search || About Us || Help || Register || Login

Special Blessings
4Real Forums : Special Blessings

Topic: I'm tired...

Author

Message

<< Prev Topic | Next Topic >>

KC in TX
Forum All-Star

Joined: Aug 05 2005
Location: Texas
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2621

Posted: Nov 25 2009 at 10:40am \| IP Logged

...emotionally, mentally, and even physically. And, it's not going to get easier. Hubby deploys Afghanistan soon. We had a delay which has played havoc with my son. He is high functioning autistic and is having a hard time with everything!

He's 11 and is quite prepubescent. He fights me about everything. And, won't accept my answers. He's defiant. Nothing works. I'm having such a hard time with the discipline. I've been pretty structured but I wonder if he's wanting a bit of freedom as most kids do at this age. How do I give it to him without him taking a mile? Most kids will accept and understand reasons behind a decision even if they don't agree but he won't. He obsesses about it.

I just don't know how I'm going to be able to do this without a lot of relief for the next 12 months.

__________________
KC,
wife to Ben (10/94),
Mama to LB ('98)
Michaela ('01)
Emma ('03)
Jordan ('05)
And, my 2 angels, Rose ('08) and Mark ('09)

The Cabbage Patch

Taffy
Forum All-Star

Joined: April 05 2005
Location: Canada
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1567

Posted: Nov 25 2009 at 10:55am \| IP Logged

I'll be keeping you in my prayers KC. My ASD son is almost 13 and we are struggling with some of the same issues. I couldn't imagine not having the relief that hubby brings when he gets home.

Do you have others who can help you out with childcare so that you can get out for a break once in a while?

__________________
Susan
Mom to 5 on earth and 1 in heaven
Susan's Soliloquy

MicheleQ
Forum All-Star

Joined: Feb 23 2005
Location: Pennsylvania
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2193

Posted: Nov 25 2009 at 11:50am \| IP Logged

Praying for you KC!

__________________
Michele Quigley
wife to my prince charming and mom of 10 in Lancaster County, PA USA
http://michelequigley.com

mom3aut1not
Forum All-Star

Joined: May 21 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 757

Posted: Nov 25 2009 at 12:43pm \| IP Logged

KC,

It's really common for ASD kids to have some behavioral and even cognitive regression in early adolescence. So, perhaps you can reevaluate what he is supposed to be doing.

The good news is that many if not most ASD kids have a developmental "bump" after adolescence. You will not know how far he'll go until you get to that point; don't assume that his current state is necessarily indicative of his future.

I am so sorry that your dh is deploying soon. It must be so hard! (For both of you!) Do you have any support nearby? Look into some respite care. (My mother would have loved some way back when....)

I am planning to read "No More Meltdowns" soon to prepare myself for future challenges. I have "The Way to A" ready as well. My little guy has already started puberty! And he is not even double digits! I am not looking forward to the next few years....

Is your son capable of understanding and making simple contracts? I have a strategy called "The 21 Day Agreement." I pick a behavior that I can't stand or is dangerous or whatever. I pick an incentive that he or she really wants. (Really, really wants.) Then I offer a deal (and it must be an offer -- one that can be refused, but usually won't be if the incentive is well chosen) where the child omits the undesired behavior or substitutes a desired behavior for 21 days. During the 21 day period, I gently remind the child if I see the undesired behavior. After it is over, I politely request that the child continue. (My dd usually agreed.) If a child can't manage the 21 day period, further investigation is warranted.

You might also talk to a behavioral specialist to get a game plan. (I wish I had done this with my non-ASD child.)

Is it possible for you to Skype your dh at any time while he is deployed? Or vice versa? That might help a bit.

Hugs and sympathy!

In Christ,

__________________
Deborah

amyable
Forum All-Star

Joined: March 07 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3798

Posted: Nov 25 2009 at 3:06pm \| IP Logged

Oh KC, I have no advice, only much sympathy and many

and prayers.

__________________
Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of

The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler

Paula in MN
Forum All-Star

Joined: Nov 25 2006
Location: Minnesota
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4064

Posted: Nov 25 2009 at 4:57pm \| IP Logged

Lots of prayers, KC!

__________________

Paula
A Catholic Harvest

Nique
Forum All-Star

Joined: March 07 2008
Location: Canada
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1222

Posted: Dec 18 2009 at 12:49am \| IP Logged

Praying, praying for you too

__________________
I had always thought that once you grew up you could do anything you wanted - stay up all night or eat ice cream straight out of the container. ~Bill Bryson

Paula in MN
Forum All-Star

Joined: Nov 25 2006
Location: Minnesota
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4064

Posted: Dec 19 2009 at 6:59am \| IP Logged

Praying that you're feeling better.

__________________

Paula
A Catholic Harvest

If you wish to post a reply to this topic you must first login
If you are not already registered you must first register

[Add this topic to My Favorites]

Printable version

Forum Jump

You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot create polls in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

Hosting and Support provided by theNetSmith.com