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TxTrish
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| Posted: Oct 27 2009 at 9:10am | IP Logged
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Hello,
My dh has ADD and takes medication. It has been life changing for him. One of his adult siblings and both of his parents take medication - as well as several of my own family members.
My eldest son, (now 16) took medication for a couple years - age 9 through 11/12, but stopped needing it at puberty for the most part. My pediatrition at the time, a homeschool father of a large family had to practically browbeat me, harrass me, and continually educate me until I gave into trying it for him after much difficulty.
Now, my youngest daughter (almost 8) -
I have read all the books, reports and information that I could get my hands on. I used to think it was a non-issue medically speaking. Due to factors in my family I had to continue to learn more and more.
My 8yo daughter has always had impulse control issues, has always been hyper, has always been - well ADHD. I never imagined considering medication for her. But at this point, I am really reconsidering because it is slowing her down in school. I have the time to continually redirect, refocus, and work with her - but is this fair to her? What I mean is if it will make it easier for her to learn and live, shouldn't I consider all the options. She is behind in reading level. Not because she is not smart enough to do it, but because she is to active to sit still and pay attention.
I am just wanting to hear your experiences, I feel like I am failing her somehow.
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Gabrielle20, Deavon18, Elizabeth12, Mary10, Greg8
and a grandson!
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Oct 27 2009 at 11:45am | IP Logged
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I understand that a lot of the time that ADD/ADHD will "disappear" as a young adult and then start back up as an older adult.. which could explain the needing meds early on and later on and not in the middle.
How does she feel about it? is it just your perception that there's a problem or is she unhappy and percieves herself as struggling?
I know that even those who dislike continual meds will often agree that going on meds to learn non-medical ways of working around the problems helps.. because the problems get in the way of learning the helps.. and then they can wean off the meds again. So it doesn't have to be an all or nothing situation.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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TxTrish
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| Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 8:44am | IP Logged
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THank you for moving my post.
She is not unhappy, though her temperment ends to be a bit melancoly -
I guess the problem here is that school is a struggle with her. It takes hard work to keep her focused, redirecting her, and informing others (like Little Flowers and CCD - both of these are thankfully taught by friends of mine) of her peculiarities.
My worry is that I am doing her a diservice, I could make it easier for her with meds - but at what cost?
The fact that my dh medication was so totally life changing for him probably has me wondering and worried.
Am I witholding something she needs?
But - hubby and I are both "wound tight".
So her high strung tendencies and endless energy are fabulous to us.
I happen to love Mary's personality, and don't want to steal her individuality. God made her like this.
She is delightful in a million ways.
These are reasons I never before considered medication.
I don't want her to be a bump on a log,
I don't want her to be lethargic,
I don't want to steal her creativity and excitement over life.
My sister sent me a book: "The Myth of the ADD Child" - it arrived yesterday as a total surprise. So, I am dedicating myself to reading this and learning more about what other options I have for her. Diet? Excercize?
I am not sure.
That is what I really wanted, was to know other mom's experiences, recommendations for reading, and so forth.
I am just in unfamiliar territory - and faltering here.
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Gabrielle20, Deavon18, Elizabeth12, Mary10, Greg8
and a grandson!
My Blog
"Duty before everything, even something holy"
St.Padre Pio
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BlessedBGod
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| Posted: Oct 29 2009 at 8:00am | IP Logged
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Hey Moms,
As a foster mom, I often have kids who need the medication. What a blessing it is to them and to the people around them. They are so wonderful when they are on the medication. I used to be totally against it but when I understood that the stimulant actually calms them down, I realized that no amount of talking is going to fix this. I have heard good things about giving them the Omega 3 vitamins but that is with the medicine.
Okay, let me give you an example. Monday morning, my child woke up, started singing at the top of her voice (with a house almost full of sleeping people) and then started in on her growling and dog howls. After taking her medication (it takes over an hour to start working) she is sent to her room to get changed. She can't focus enough to get her clothes out of her drawers and actually on her body. She doesn't like to be touched much since the ADHD makes her skin sensitive so she doesn't want help. If I did help her get changed she would make fifty or so side tracks of doing other things while I tried to change her. So, after trying to get herself changed and make her bed, she manages in about half and hour. Half and hour more of sitting making loud noises from her room for the sake of loud noises, she emerges to eat breakfast. She skips down the hall or runs at full force and them swings her legs and arms (flails really) until prayer time. During breakfast she will tap, poke, spill for the sake of seeing a spill, touch the food, etc. until the medicine starts to work. During the day when the medicine is working, she's quiet, thoughtful, helpful, calm, and focuses well. She can quickly fold a load of clothes, organize anything well, and do her handwriting as perfect as possible. It's just like looking at another child. During the day she would never, make loud animal noises and is polite as can be. You see the difference? I would never want to take this away from her. I know it's the real her. She's a lovely child during the day and better yet, she is loving. So, give her the medicine consistently and reap the benefits.
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teachingmyown
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| Posted: Oct 29 2009 at 10:13pm | IP Logged
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I believe Dianne Craft does address nutritional underlying causes of ADD/ADHD. It might be worth your time to check out her website. Diannecraft.com.
Another thought is that, at least in my opinion and experience with my own kids, 8 is still really young to be sitting and doing much school. Maybe give her another year or two to mature?
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: Oct 30 2009 at 7:20am | IP Logged
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Removing high fructose corn syrup from my son's (and all our kids!) diet really helped. I actually didn't notice the change since it was gradual until one day, after not having it for about a month, he ate some candy and was "back to his old tricks". One of his biggest issues is not considering the consequences of his actions. He'll do something that most people would think is obsurd (this kid jumped out the window!) and afterwards say something like "I didn't know that would happen." When he's eating a healthier diet, he's still a bit hyper, but he seems to think about things a little better.
Our son has never been tested, but the signs of ADHD are pretty obvious. I was a classroom teacher for 10 years, and, back then, I would have recommended he be tested for ADHD.
I think everyone's decision about medication has to be their own. We don't medicate and instead are trying to help this ds through his diet and other behavior training sorts of things, but that's our decision.
The books I've read and found helpful are
The Healthiest Kid in the Neighborhood (Clued me into the high fructose corn syrup thing)
Homeschooling the Challenging Child
Raising Your Spirited Child
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Michiel
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| Posted: Nov 18 2009 at 6:14pm | IP Logged
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Trish,
What a great question. I'm so glad to see this discussion here. I have a little to add. My younger ds has ADHD and is also bipolar. He was at first only diagnosed with ADHD, and despite my hesitancy, we put him on stimulants (the ADHD meds.). I've got to say that it did WONDERS for his focus and impulse control. I saw what potential he had. And he was so happy to be able to do stuff and not always be getting "in trouble".
However, stimulants work very badly with bipolar, as we found. They made him psychotic after about 2 weeks, and it was such a horrible time for us until we made the connections, took him off the meds. and discovered this other disability.
I WISH I could put my son on stimulants, as they really do help him, but I also like having a sane, happy, smiling child, so we are working around the ADHD minus meds.
Some things learned
1. Meds are not a life sentence. If benefits do not outweigh costs, you can always take your dd off.
2. They don't work for everyone.
3. One CAN work around ADHD without meds by learning to parent more tolerantly, cut everthing into small chunks, teach focus (a long process), and make a lot of adjustments in daily living. Homeschooling works very well for ADHD children not on meds. My ds learns so well at home with everything done to tailor his needs.
I will pray for you for guidance in making a decision.
Michiel
mother of two sons.
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Michiel
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| Posted: Nov 18 2009 at 6:17pm | IP Logged
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Forgot to add something. We've been giving ds Omega 3 capsules daily. I didn't see a huge benefit from it for focus and impulse control, until I suspected an allergy to it and took him off. The Omega 3 really does help somewhat for focus and impulse control, though not like stimulants. Still every little bit helps, and we are glad to have the help.
Michiel
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midwestmom
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| Posted: Nov 19 2009 at 9:05pm | IP Logged
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(I just joined the forum so I could respond to this post.)
My 10yo dd is on day 16 of taking Strattera (ADD med, non-stimulant, not a controlled substance). I was scared to death of putting my child on a "mind altering substance." But, finally I felt like we should at least try it.
Well, I didn't know it, but the most wonderful thing about dd on medication is that I believe it unlocked the true person. She is kind to her sisters, I think honestly she they literally drove her crazy before, totally overwhelmed her ADD mind. She helps them with schoolwork, offers to brush their hair, generally much more attentive to them.
Second, I have a daughter that will chat with me, that happily helps out when asked, and generally likes to be with our family. Prior to medication, I often had to remind her to not "check out" of our family, that being around made her happier, not anymore.
Honestly, she is such a happier more relaxed child, it's like a giant cloud has been lifted from her.
I know medication is a controversial thing, so I'm not saying it's for everyone, but for me knowing what I now know, I think how could I not do this for her.
Probably being an ADD person myself, I do worry that someday some health consequences could be discovered (I pray that never happens). But, using the information I have now, I believe that this is the right decision. Her quality of life has improved 1000-fold. I can't imagine her having gone through normal teenage issues with a self-esteem that was already in the dumps (that was one of my main concerns).
Medication has main a tremendous difference that actually appears as no difference at all. It just unlocked the beauty that was always there.
I hope this helps. Feel free to contact me by email if you'd like.
God Bless, Cristin
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4Real Forums : Special Blessings
Topic: ADD & ADHD experiences, advice, .........
