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At_His_Feet
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Joined: April 28 2007
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Sept 28 2007 at 4:51am | IP Logged
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Our 3 year old has severe expressive language delay. Basically he doesn't talk. He has about 25 words, but only 10 or less sound like words.
We have been seeing a speech therapist, who thinks it's probably more of a behavioural thing rather than ASD (our second son has Aspergers.) He is on a waiting list for early intervention therapy.
After every appointment (we've only been 4 times) I start to feel rather guilty. I question if I should be homeschooling his 2 brothers, because if I wasn't I would have SO much time to work on his speech. Whereas at the moment I feel like he is almost ignored for too many hours of the day. By the time I supervise the schooling and deal with the house, I feel like he doesn't get much of my time.
How do those of you with kids with special needs fit it all in and still function at the end of the day? 
Is it possible to provide the extra attention that the special needs kids need, and still be able to properly educate your other children?
At the moment I already feel that I'm not doing enough with my school age kids. We do very little art/craft fun stuff. Is it a matter of being very organised and well scheduled? I'm great at planning, but not so good at following through. I'm currently trying to break my habit of writing new timetables every few months that never get used 
I would really appreciate any pearls of wisdom you can offer me.
__________________
Tricia
Mum to 3 boys 17, 15, and 10.
Do whatever He tells you
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Lori B
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| Posted: Sept 28 2007 at 11:32am | IP Logged
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Tricia, I've been there. When my youngest was between 3 mos and 5yrs, she needed *loads* of vision therapy and visual stimulation every day. We had to rearrange our thinking quite a bit in order to give my olders time for schooly things (they were 11 and 6), while not neglecting my son (who was 3), and still giving the baby the hours she needed.
Simply put, we made the baby our priority. As long as she went through her therapy routines and was happy and loved, everything else was gravy. Sometimes my husband would congratulate me at the end of the day- "Everyone's fed and no one's naked- well done!"
Seriously though  , in your shoes I would make sure that you carved out time every day for your son (we liked to start out with the baby first thing), and give your older boys their independent work or chores to do at that time. During the rest of the day, let your little one shadow you, involving him in the household chores, but having something on hand to keep him occupied when you need one-on-one time with the older two.
We found that Baby (yes, we still call her that, even though she's almost 7) thrived when she was involved with whatever we were doing, and turned into a bit of a turnip when left to her own devices. If we were at the table, so was she; if I was reading aloud, she was there (playing with modeling wax, Lego, etc.). We would also split up responsibility for her, assigning each older sibling to a half-hour of "Baby time". The oldest would read her a picture book (or Shakespeare- don't ask...), the second dd (who has AS) would do therapy games, little craft projects, colour, etc. The Boy would make Baby a partner in his mischievous plans 
And to fit in the "fun" stuff, we kept Fridays open. Any fun extras we had neglected all week, we made up for on Fun Fridays (art, crafts, picture study, tea time, nature walks, etc.)
And above all, remember that you older kids are still quite young. Learning to put family first, helping with their brother (and helping you with household chores) is more important right now than academics, maybe. I know in our case, the kids matured (and thrived!) during our difficult years, when most of our schooling involved nothing more than living books and art supplies
HTH
__________________
22yod, 16yod (Asperger's), 14yos (dyslexia, APD, ADHD), and 11yod (JXG, glaucoma, legally blind)
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4Real Forums : Special Blessings
Topic: Having doubts.
