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Diane
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Helen wrote:
Why was I surprised that Lissa said I have an obvious, sentimental devotion to Our Lady?
This is difficult to explain, but I think I was surprised because my devotion to Our Lady, my "feelings" towards her are more of
IT IS A FACT. SHe IS MY MOTHER.
Sort of the way, one is with their earthly mother. Your earthly mother *is* your mother. It's when your mother, does one of those big motherly things, (really knows what you need, when you need it), that a wellspring of emotion comes with it and you feel so overwhelmingly grateful for her.
I'm not sure I'm making much sense. |
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I think you made a lot of sense, Helen, and your explanation was very helpful to me in understanding your relationship with Mary. It makes me think that maybe I am not as far off the mark as I thought---just a little too wayward at times.
Annie, thank you so much for sharing the powerful and hopeful story of your friend. What a blessing to witness such a transformation in her! It's led me to consider how my relationship with my earthly mother did affect the one with my heavenly one. My mother was certainly not abusive, but she did have her limitations (as we all do), and I know that those weaknesses have colored me both as a mother to my dc and as a daughter to my true Mother.
Bridget wrote:
| So I ask Mary to help me speak to Him. It's as if she gently guides me to Him and tells me it is alright. She has spoken to Him about me and He wants to hear from me. |
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Part of my struggle is that I never feel worthy to approach Mary either. I know this is faulty thinking. No matter how much my dc were disobedient or turned away from me, though my heart would ache for them and for me, I could never stop loving them or wanting to welcome them back into relationship. If I as an imperfect mother can feel this way, how much more forgiving and merciful must our perfect mother Mary be?
My head understands this, but my heart does not. I want so much to be pleasing, to be perfect, to be worthy---and I inevitably fail. It is a consequence of pride and a lack of true humility to feel this way, I know, but these patterns are so hard to overcome. I am hoping and praying that by learning to focus more on Mary and her virtues instead of on myself and my failings, I will not be able stop myself from running straight to her loving arms.
Lissa wrote:
So you could say it is as if I were in a spiritual orphanage until then. Maybe that's why the emotional connection has seemed to elude me...
Is it stretching the analogy too far to call it a kind of spiritual Reactive Attachment Disorder? |
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Lissa, I don't think this is stretching the analogy too far at all---it's quite an effective word picture. I think that it applies to all of us to some degree---depending on the way that we were introduced to Mary as our Mother and also on the (necessarily) imperfect ways that our earthly mothers showed us what it meant to be a mother. I am discovering that I do have to learn how to become attached to my Blessed Mother, because it does not come naturally to me. One of my adopted dds reminds me just how difficult and painful a process this can be, letting go of our past thinking which helped us to make sense of life and having to risk our very selves in the hopes of being truly loved.
Finally, thank you, Annie and Lissa, for your reminders about the power of the Miraculous Medal. I can get so intimidated into thinking that I am failing because I do not pray 15 or 20 or even 5 decades of the Rosary each day. Surely I can begin with the baby steps of faithfully wearing my brown scapular and Miraculous Medal and offering its simple prayer throughout my day. And surely her graces will be poured down to assist me in reaching the point where I cannot imagine my day without 20 decades.
As always, I am ever so grateful and blessed to be here. Every time I risk and share my heart here---every single time---I am met with nothing but warmth and wisdom. Thank you. 
__________________
Peace,
Diane
Mom to five fair lasses and one bonny prince
The Journey of a Mother's Heart
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Lissa
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bfarmmom wrote:
WOW,WOW,WOW.  I am just catching up on this thread and I am overwhelmed with your stories.
I have the desire for a deeper relationship with Mary. I hear her calling me. I am feeling like I can not get to her. Does that make sense? Everything I offer, the prayers seem so dry. We have just recently started praying the family rosary(sometimes feels like chaos control) I call on her during my hectic day for help. Mary, where are you? Sometimes I feel like I am just going through the motions.
Hearing Alice and Lissa talk about asking her to reveal herself to you, I had never thought of doing that. I am going to do that.
Thank you all for you wonderful stories. You are beautiful women. |
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Kirsten, I can't wait to hear the stories you will have to share in the days to come--I am really overwhelmed by the immediate and unmistakable responses I have received to the prayer Alice encouraged me to pray.
And I think we can pray this for each other, too...Blessed Mother, some of my sisters need a hug from their mama.
(Will I EVER be able to visit this forum without bawling???) 
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Lissa
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MarieC
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bfarmmom wrote:
| I have the desire for a deeper relationship with Mary. I hear her calling me. I am feeling like I can not get to her. Does that make sense? Everything I offer, the prayers seem so dry. |
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I, too, desire this and was greatly inspired by the talk between Lissa and Alice. I prayed and asked Mary to help me on my journey towards her. Since then, I have felt moved to notice how I interact with my youngest (9 months) to give me an inkling as to how Mary feels about me. He's just so helpless and needy compared to the older children...I think Mary wants me to see myself that way in regards to her.
I'll pray that she brings you closer to her as well.
__________________
Marie
mom to 6
dds-98, 00, 02 and 09 & dss-03 and 06
Out in the Orchard
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Lissa
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MarieC wrote:
bfarmmom wrote:
| I have the desire for a deeper relationship with Mary. I hear her calling me. I am feeling like I can not get to her. Does that make sense? Everything I offer, the prayers seem so dry. |
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I, too, desire this and was greatly inspired by the talk between Lissa and Alice. I prayed and asked Mary to help me on my journey towards her. Since then, I have felt moved to notice how I interact with my youngest (9 months) to give me an inkling as to how Mary feels about me. He's just so helpless and needy compared to the older children...I think Mary wants me to see myself that way in regards to her.
I'll pray that she brings you closer to her as well. |
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Marie, that is SUCH a good way to think of it! Thank you! I will keep that in mind. I'm a toddler, I'm a toddler...(LOL--and just as stubborn).
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Lissa
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msclavel
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Dawn, thank you so much for sharing. It has moved me deeply.
I have been pondering all these amazing posts and thinking about my reluctance to approach Mary as my mother more often.
My late teens-early twenties were difficult. I found myself in very bad relationship with an intense and passionate but very flawed boy/man. I gave this boy my virginity. I was so young! I truly believed he would marry me. When he abruptly broke off our relationship (all contact) I was devastated. My shame was profound. All along, I had been friends with the man who was to become my husband. I've known him since freshman year of high school. He always there, and unknown to me for a long time, always loved me. He waited so patiently for my heart to heal and slowly I grew to love him. But perhaps because both of us had dealt with sins of impurity in past relationships, we struggled together and could not remain chaste. I became pregnant shortly after we were engaged. Then we made matters worse by getting married by a JoP (so I could be covered by his insurance) before telling my parents anything. To tell you my parents know what unconditional love is would be an understatement. Three years later our marriage was convalidated. Oh happy day!
For me the struggle continues to be getting over that deep deep shame. Because in a community of devoted Catholics (heck being raised by committed Catholic parents who loved me) I still feel like there is a secret I keep, the secret about my true nature that could not remain pure for her marriage. And I live in absolute terror that I will pass on this flaw to my dear daughters. They are worth so much more. And I fear failing to teach them purity and chastity. And I fear the scandal it may be to them when one day I have to explain the circumstances of the beginning of my married life.
AND, I KNOW that Our Lady is the answer to all of it! But my heart doesn't easily follow what my head knows with such certainty. Ooooo, Diane I just realized that is exactly what you said.
And Lissa, I reading all your posts!
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kjohnson
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msclavel wrote:
| For me the struggle continues to be getting over that deep deep shame. Because in a community of devoted Catholics (heck being raised by committed Catholic parents who loved me) I still feel like there is a secret I keep, the secret about my true nature that could not remain pure for her marriage. And I live in absolute terror that I will pass on this flaw to my dear daughters. They are worth so much more. And I fear failing to teach them purity and chastity. And I fear the scandal it may be to them when one day I have to explain the circumstances of the beginning of my married life. |
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Everyone has a secret and everyone has sinned, regardless of how devoted to their faith they are. In fact, those who have fallen harder are often the ones who cling to God more because they know what despair it is to be separated from Him. The remembrance of the pain of being separated from God will be a great protection to your soul. Those who have gained much, guard it all the more.
Many of the greatest saints struggled to overcome sins of impurity. Look at St. Augustine, he had a child out of wedlock and then later became a Bishop and one of the greatest Latin fathers of the Church.
Have you ever read the story of St. Mary of Egypt? She is one of my very favorite saints. She was addicted to impure relations with many, many men. Once she followed a group of pilgrims to Jerusalem who were going to venerate the relics of the True Cross and was attempting to seduce the men.
When she arrived in Jerusalem she tried to enter the doors of the church and something kept her from entering. She was left outside the church and turned to see an Icon of the Mother of God and had an instant conversion. She was deeply repentant, entrusted herself to the Theotokos and was able then able to enter the church.
She became a hermit in the desert and the miracles surrounding her life and her heavenly intercession are amazing. And her Heavenly Mother ran to her, she didn't even have to ask for her help.
God wouldn't have given us such extreme examples of His mercy and grace if He meant us to continue to beat ourselves up and live under a cloud of shame and despair.
Your sins are forgiven. Rejoice!
You can read St. Mary's story
here.
__________________
In Christ,
Katherine
Wife to Doug and Mother of 6
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msclavel
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Katherine-
I do know Mary of Egypt, one of my very favorites! Thank you for reminding me of her.
Coincidentally, my confirmation name is Magdalene. At the time I chose her because I thought she was so brave for following Jesus to the cross and the great blessing he gave to her by appearing to her as she wept at the tomb. Now older I know it was grace that lead me to choose her for she has been a constant reminder of God's mercy and love.
Katherine, your posts at the Orientale Lumen have been so refreshing and fulfilling for me. The icons of tender mercy are perhaps my favorite images of Our Lady. Perhaps that is also the image to keep before me as well.
Ladies, sorry to be so raw in my sharing earlier. The emotions just all welled up.
One more thing to add is that I do know God's grace is at work in me. My husband often jokes what a prude I've become about watching TV, really, just about all of it thoroughly disgusts me. 
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kjohnson
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msclavel wrote:
Katherine-
Katherine, your posts at the Orientale Lumen have been so refreshing and fulfilling for me. The icons of tender mercy are perhaps my favorite images of Our Lady. Perhaps that is also the image to keep before me as well. |
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I definitely think that the Mother of God is reaching out to you through her Tender Mercy Icon. It's the exact same image that moved the heart of St. Mary of Egypt. I used to have a photo of the exact Icon that St. Mary saw and prayed before and a bottle of oil from the vigil lamp that hangs before it, but I gave it to someone. But, it is the same that you mentioned.
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In Christ,
Katherine
Wife to Doug and Mother of 6
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Lissa
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kjohnson wrote:
msclavel wrote:
Katherine-
Katherine, your posts at the Orientale Lumen have been so refreshing and fulfilling for me. The icons of tender mercy are perhaps my favorite images of Our Lady. Perhaps that is also the image to keep before me as well. |
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I definitely think that the Mother of God is reaching out to you through her Tender Mercy Icon. It's the exact same image that moved the heart of St. Mary of Egypt. I used to have a photo of the exact Icon that St. Mary saw and prayed before and a bottle of oil from the vigil lamp that hangs before it, but I gave it to someone. But, it is the same that you mentioned. |
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There you (both) go making me cry again. 
I simply have to share another story. If this keeps up I am going to be permanently goosebumped!
This morning I decided to make a little pilgrimage to the Mariam Mother of Life statue I wrote about earlier in this thread. I started by reading parts of Leading the Little Ones to Mary to my girls: the beginning talks, and then the Miraculous Medal parts, because the little ones noticed I was wearing my medal again and were curious about it.
Then we drove over to the Maronite church to visit the shrine. As we got out of the van, the girls shouted and pointed--there was a large hawk sitting on the Blessed Mother's head.
Now, I am honestly trying not to read too much into things here. But hawks have a great significance to my family. Scott and I even planned our honeymoon around a visit to a raptor center in Vermont. Whenever we go on a family drive (this is something our family loves to do), everyone is on the lookout for hawks, and Scott will often turn the car around to get a better look at one. He is not really a nature guy, but he *loves* hawks. He even does a hawk impersonation that cracks us all up...if my girls had to pick a bird symbol (or maybe ANY symbol) for their daddy, it would be a hawk.
So this hawk on the top of the statue, well, it really was quite an event for us.
At the base of the shrine there is a mural of Our Lady of Guadalupe. (!!!) We lit a candle there, and I asked the girls what they'd like to pray for. "For Daddy's back," said Erin--Scott threw out his back a couple of weeks ago.
There was a young mother also visiting the shrine, and we chatted a bit, and it turned out she is the wife of Catholic apologist Tim Staples. She was delightful, with an adorable 3yo boy and a baby about Kelly's age. I invited her to a women's Bible study Erica hosts (hope that's all right, Erica! ) and she said someone else had just invited her to it also! Small world?
Then the kids and I walked up the stairs to the top of the shrine, where you are standing right at the feet of the statue. It is enormous. We liked the way Mary has one hand outstretched as on the Miraculous Medal, but with the other hand she is holding the Infant Jesus--like any busy mama who does her work with one hand.
We said a prayer there and admired the mountain view and investigated the Arabic script around the base of the statue. It is a beautiful shrine and we will certainly go back. Then we went into the church. A group of schoolchildren was praying the Rosary, so we joined them for a decade (Nativity), but then Stevie got noisy so we left. After that we went to our regular church and visited the Adoration chapel and got some holy water to bring home. It was a lovely morning and Erin asked if we could do it every day, LOL.
But that hawk, I am telling you, it knocked my socks off.
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Lissa
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aussieannie
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Lissa wrote:
| I was telling all this to Alice, and she (as always) had such simple and wise counsel. She said first of all that the longing itself is a great grace; and then she said, "When you pray, you should ask the Blessed Mother to SHOW you that she is your mother. She will!" |
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You must be getting goosebumps on and OFF the forum! That is an amazing story of what has happened today.
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Under Her Starry Mantle
Spiritual Motherhood for Priests
Blessed with 3 boys & 3 girls!
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MarieC
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Lissa,
I'm so happy for you that your pilgrimage was so lovely!
__________________
Marie
mom to 6
dds-98, 00, 02 and 09 & dss-03 and 06
Out in the Orchard
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kjohnson
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Lissa, what a beautiful morning you had. Thanks for sharing it. There's gotta be something with the Hawk. I keep thinking of Elijah and the Raven.
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In Christ,
Katherine
Wife to Doug and Mother of 6
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Diane
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Katherine, your response to Maria was so lovely and perfect, everything I wanted to say. Thank you for sharing the story of St Mary of Egypt. I have never read about her. The Tender Mercy icon connection is amazing---Mary is at work right here on this thread!
msclavel wrote:
| Ladies, sorry to be so raw in my sharing earlier. The emotions just all welled up. |
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Maria, I don't think you ever need to apologize here for sharing the struggles of your heart. What a gift it is to know that you trust us enough to open yourself up like that.
I understand your deep concern for your dds since you love them so very much. But honestly, I believe that the pain you have carried and the graces you have received through your repentance will empower you to pray for them more fervently and to prepare them more thoroughly to preserve their purity. You are a beautiful, faithful woman, and a selfless loving mother, and that will impress far more upon them than anything you did so long ago. 
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Peace,
Diane
Mom to five fair lasses and one bonny prince
The Journey of a Mother's Heart
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kjohnson
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Diane wrote:
| I understand your deep concern for your dds since you love them so very much. But honestly, I believe that the pain you have carried and the graces you have received through your repentance will empower you to pray for them more fervently and to prepare them more thoroughly to preserve their purity. You are a beautiful, faithful woman, and a selfless loving mother, and that will impress far more upon them than anything you did so long ago. |
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These are my thoughts as well. I was thinking about St. Augustine and his son, Adeodatus, who was conceived out of wedlock. Adeodatus followed the saintly example of his father and was baptized by St. Ambrose with him and in the end died a very holy death. Augustine's conversion and example of faith to his dear son completely overshadowed the circumstances of his youth.
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In Christ,
Katherine
Wife to Doug and Mother of 6
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KC in TX
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Lissa, talk about goosebumps. What a wonderful story.
__________________
KC,
wife to Ben (10/94),
Mama to LB ('98)
Michaela ('01)
Emma ('03)
Jordan ('05)
And, my 2 angels, Rose ('08) and Mark ('09)
The Cabbage Patch
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Helen
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Lissa wrote:
| The idea that she is my mother in just as real a way as my earthly mother is my dear mama--this was nowhere in my conception until I was an adult, and thinking of it in the terms you described above, it really does make sense why the sense of connection wasn't there. Is it stretching the analogy too far to call it a kind of spiritual Reactive Attachment Disorder? |
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Dear Lissa,
I've been considering your question about RAD today, I don't know if I have an answer but I can say that a mother with a Rad child is not surprised when the child lashes out or says bad things to his mother. In fact, the mother is very understanding of what the poor child went through and is willing to spend more time convincing this child of her motherly love and protection.
I don't think anyone has to worry about what she says to the Blessed Mother during our earnest search for the Heavenly Queen. She is so very perfect, understanding patient and loving. She will wait for you to be ready and win you over.
__________________
Ave Maria!
Mom to 5 girls and 3 boys
Mary Vitamin & Castle of the Immaculate
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cathhomeschool
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Well, I've finally caught up on this thread so that I can post! 
My friendship with Mary has been sort of simplistic. I grew up being told that my mother had (in prayer) given me to Mary. I had always felt close to her and often prayed the rosary with my mother or grandmother. Once when I was young, I woke to see a vision in my mind of Mary smiling down at me over my bed. I chose Mary as my Confirmation name, and shortly after, discovered that my birthdate is on the Holy Name of Mary. Tim and I married (not intentionally) on the Queenship of Mary. Whenever I have thought that Mary must not smile at me anymore because of the sins I have committed, I find great comfort in remembering the dates of my birth and marriage. I see these as her permanent smile on me and her acceptance of me as her child regardless of what I do. I strive to be deserving of her as a mother by asking for the graces to follow her to her Son. I am not well read and have not ever consecrated myself to Mary. I am looking forward to following along with you ladies and learning more.
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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MaryMary
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Lissa wrote:
You remember my blue tablecloth, I'm sure. It was a wedding gift and has been in almost daily use since May of 1994! But now, at long last, it has grown threadbare, and I know its days are numbered. I have a couple of cheap spare cloths, but I keep putting the lovely old blue fleur-de-lis cloth back on the table, holes and all. |
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Lissa, for fear of leaving you 'permanently goosebumped' ( )I just want to point out one small thing that just hit me between the eyes as I read your post...
The fleur de lis is a symbol for Mary!
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Mary
Wife 2 1
Mum 2 four blessings on earth and two in heaven!
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Helen
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cathhomeschool wrote:
| My friendship with Mary has been sort of simplistic. I grew up being told that my mother had (in prayer) given me to Mary. I had always felt close to her and often prayed the rosary with my mother or grandmother. Once when I was young, I woke to see a vision in my mind of Mary smiling down at me over my bed. I chose Mary as my Confirmation name, and shortly after, discovered that my birthdate is on the Holy Name of Mary. Tim and I married (not intentionally) on the Queenship of Mary. |
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Welcome Janette
and thank you for your beautiful witness to the power of Mary's mantle.
__________________
Ave Maria!
Mom to 5 girls and 3 boys
Mary Vitamin & Castle of the Immaculate
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Lissa
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MaryMary wrote:
Lissa wrote:
You remember my blue tablecloth, I'm sure. It was a wedding gift and has been in almost daily use since May of 1994! But now, at long last, it has grown threadbare, and I know its days are numbered. I have a couple of cheap spare cloths, but I keep putting the lovely old blue fleur-de-lis cloth back on the table, holes and all. |
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Lissa, for fear of leaving you 'permanently goosebumped' ( )I just want to point out one small thing that just hit me between the eyes as I read your post...
The fleur de lis is a symbol for Mary! |
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!!!
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Lissa
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4Real Forums : Hidden Treasure
Topic: Welcome
