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Bella
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| Posted: April 17 2008 at 9:05am | IP Logged
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Mcchatty- Thankyou for your reply.I am so terribly sorry about your ds!  How horrible for your other ds to witness, and you to have two very injured dc,but how wonderful that your younger ds is doing much better. I will keep your ds and your family in my prayers.
Thankyou for suggesting a pediatric psychiatrist-I know there isn't one here, but probably one about an hour away.I am still med shy, but I think your idea is a good one-to pick the brain of someone who specializes in kids issues.
I have put a call into our university here, to see about getting her into their Anxiety/Panic Clinic-which is supposed to be very good-and costs pennies compared to the other therapists. I have yet to hear back from them, so I will call agian today. I think it would be good for her, as the program is focused on journaling everyday-not so much of talk therapy-just more of empowering the kids to understand the way their mind and body is so connected, helping them to observe and record in a workbook(and my DD loves workbooks!) what happens each day,and the workbook "talks" them through each step in how to deal with situations and body reactions, and much more.
A friend has a friend who tunes the pianos at the university, and they are keeping an eye out for us,as they get rid of perfectly good pianos from time to time.
For right now, we are focusing on breaking habits to form a structured routine. Daily,weekly, and monthly. Everything is written out and taped up. DH wanted me to step up the school work load so that DD is busy(even if it's busy work), and also to help eliminate the perpetual fear she has of feeling not up to par with her schooled friends,or those HSed friends of hers that school for 6-7 hours a day. That has been very challenging for me, as it's just not in my nature to be sructured, but with the exception of yesterday, so far we are doing well-and DD *loves* having everything written out for her and checking off her lists as the day goes on. The hardest change has been that she is going to bed a lot earlier-which means she doesn't get to spend as much time with DH at night(he teaches night classes very late this semester). But I know from my own experience,that if I'm tired, everything has a dark cloud over it, and my anxiety can fly high.
Karnak- Thankyou for replying!
I am pretty sure (from both my readings and observations, and the assessment of the psychologists) that DD doesn't have OCD. She definitely has fears,but at this point, they haven't reached the point of full blown OCD. One of my nieces has this, and like you, it was very bad at around my DD's age-she never tried therapy-got anorexia whil awayat college, and is now on meds-and doing much better. I have to watch myself with this however, as My immune system is compromised, so when I am out in public I rarely touch handles,rails,knobs,etc. and always wipe down grocery carts. I also avoid crowds in the cold season. DD understands why I do this, but I try to not make a big deal of it.
To be more clear, I really don't feel su much guilt about what my DD said, more relief that what DH and I suspected to be the source-she too realizes and admits.
While I understand that we have a genetic component going on here-it is also most definitely situational too. I have been *very* sick-with several invisible illnesses for several years. Just before Christmas, I was shopping in Target, and passed out. The EMTs came, and my blood pressure was so low, that they admitted me into the hospital. This happened again about four weeks later, and again I was hospitalized. Then about a monthe later, another hospital visit for a problem with my stomach due to living on ibuprofen for the past several years. That kind of stuff is going to impact my DC-especially DD who is very sensitive and very aware, and has already been through so much with me. Her mind is literally thinking what DH and I are...what next??? But we can handle it, and rationalize these situations-she cannot. After these incidences, my doc discovered that I now have multiple chemical allergies-so I cannot go into places like Target,where there are lots of off-gasing and odors. And just a couple of weeks ago, my doc said I have what is called Mercury Poisoning-something I was aware of could happen with vaxes, but she feels strongly that mine is caused by several silver fillings and root canals. I ahve a phone consult today with a dentist who can safely remove the fillings, and replace them with composite ones. I have explained to DD that my doctors are figuring our waht is making me so sick, and we are very close to the end of the continued wierd symptoms and illnesses.
Oh Karnak, DH and I have talked and talked to DD about how *everyone* has *something* here on earth that they have to suffer with-some it is obvious-a child in a wheelchair, or a missing limb, some will have nothing until later in their life-but that everyone has something-life is harder for some at different times in their lives. One of her friends from her dance class had a Mother who died not even a year ago from breast cancer. This little girl seems to be holding up well, and has a huge supportive family nearby(something we don't have).Well, one day after dance class, DD started crying about something really stupid-finally the real reason was that(to put in a nutshell!) she couldn't understand how her friemd could go on being so happy with her Mother dead! I just explained to her that maybe Emily knows that her Mommy is in heaven, and she has extra love and protection surrounding her. My DH's Mom diedwhen he was a teenager. Just to say, we are always talking with DD about how hard life is for everyone-you just can;t alwasy see it.
Okay-I'm rambling and the DC just woke up late-if there is any hope of sticking with our routine, I better close this book!
Blessings,
Christy
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Peace and Blessings,
Bella
Wife and Mom to my sweeties!
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mcchatty
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| Posted: April 17 2008 at 2:29pm | IP Logged
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Dear Blessed,
YOu may be able to consult once or twice with the ped. psychiatrist and have the more frequent "checkups" handled by someone else.
(we have done that with other unusual specialties)
Being med shy is a very good thing. But, you should make decisions based on the newest info, from the most learned sources...
Praying for you
Mcchatty
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Bella
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| Posted: April 18 2008 at 8:03am | IP Logged
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That's true Mcchatty. Thanks for you reply.
Blessings,
Christy
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Peace and Blessings,
Bella
Wife and Mom to my sweeties!
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4Real Forums : Special Blessings
Topic: DD rightfully blames me for her disorders
