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ladybugs
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| Posted: Feb 07 2007 at 11:29pm | IP Logged
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MaryM wrote:
molly wrote:
| I have had the opportunity to talk and pm with various women on this board, who sometimes feel over whelmed by all they cannot measure up to. For example, so many of you have wonderful blogs, full of beautiful pictures, quotes, scripture etc. |
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I have friends who have expressed similar thoughts. As much as the forums and blogs can be a source of tremendous inspiration and encouragement they can also be a source of discouragement and feelings of inadequacy. I have tried to encourage people by saying much of what has been pointed out - people mostly share only the positive and the put-together. When I complained to a friend how cluttered my house always is - she said that the pictures on the blog looked clutter-free - my dh pipes in with "It's very easy to take staged pictures!"  .
My house is rarely tidy - usually only really picked up when company is coming.  Why can't it stay that way??? Even by the time company leaves it has started its downward spiral.
A dear friend says the greatest disservice women do for each other is cleaning their homes before someone comes over.  It can very easily perpetuate that perfect house myth. It really does help to see that people's houses look lived in and that we all face this same home keeping challenges. There are only a few people in our circle that I can actually do that with though as much as I wish it otherwise.
I didn't participate in the "Elegant Simplicity" fairs last year highlighting area of our homes. I told somebody I would participate when there was a "Cluttered Disorder" Fair (Should I host? ). I am loving everyone's descriptions of real life - and the reality of it is that everyone's description of a "mess" is not going to be the same. Ruth, dear, your "messy" kitchen would be "clean" here!
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Mary, you are welcome at my home anytime!!!!! And I would love to participate in the Cluttered Disorder Fair....I live it mentally!!!!
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Love and God Bless,
Maria P
My etsy store - all proceeds go to help my fencing daughters!
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kristina
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Molly,
Okay, I'll play. You inspired me to post to my neglected little blog.
This thread has brought me so much comfort! I have this crazy notion that everyone else has uncluttered counters, books neatly filed on the bookshelves, crumb-free floors and perfectly behaved children who always play by the one-toy-at-a-time-rule, etc.. Thank you all for sharing a little bit of reality with me!
Blessings,
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kristina
yesterthoughts
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MaryM
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| Posted: Feb 07 2007 at 11:45pm | IP Logged
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ladybugs wrote:
| I have had the Mary, you are welcome at my home anytime!!!!! |
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Careful what you say - someone may just show up!
kristina wrote:
Okay, I'll play. You inspired me to post to my neglected little blog.
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I'm glad to here about poor neglected blogs, too. I do not know how people can so consistently post everyday (or multiple times) - I can't keep up like that on mine.
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Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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theNetSmith
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| Posted: Feb 08 2007 at 12:13am | IP Logged
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Molly's kitchen chicken:
-T
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There are many different ways of bringing people into his Kingdom; I have therefore learned to be cautious in my judgment.
-C.S. Lewis
Pray and forgive.
-Mother Theresa
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MaryM
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That is priceless, Molly! Who need a ceramic chicken on the window ledge when you can have the real thing.
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Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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SuzanneG
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MichelleW wrote:
In addition to "regular" mess, we heat with wood. Everything gets covered in ash. We put up our Christmas tree in the morning and by the first evening the ornaments had a thin coat of ash. I dusted them. The second and third nights I took to blowing on them. By the fourth night I gave up.
I had some ladies over last Friday night. They exclaimed over how cozy a woodstove is. I thought, "Yeah, just don't sit in one place for too long or I will have to dust you before you leave." |
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Michelle: I read this to my mom on the phone tonight and she was laughing so hard she said she almost peed her pants! She can TOTAlly relate! we heated with wood too and she spent 15 years shoveling wood chips and ashes around the house!
My husband came home and saw the 1-year-old crawling around a bit wet from crawling through the puddles left over from the "pouring game" and also a bit....ummm...BLACK/GRAY from crawling around on the floor. He said, "why don't you just put one of those terry-cloth-sleepers on her and spray a bit of Lysol on her legs? She can be your automatic mop!"
Here's another one from last September. And, believe me, it's much worse now!
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Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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Elizabeth
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I have a really cluttered house right now. My reality is that I am the only adult here with eight (often nine) kids and if I want to do anything but clean or make people clean all day long, we're going to have a mess. And I think it's really important that we not put on airs and misrepresent ourselves online. But I don't think that's what the Simple Elegance fairs did. There was much conversation before the fairs on transforming our homes and working on the trouble spots. And then we shared what we did. So often, as homemakers, much of the work we do goes unnoticed or unappreciated. The mom at home with five little boys may feel a bit forlorn when no one even seems to care about the little touches of warmth and cheer she's worked to add to their home. But like-minded women will encourage her and I think that's okay. If you've worked hard to clean and organize your kitchen and your just tickled pink over the great idea you had for your eating area and you're homemanagement notebook is both pretty and useful, why not share it? Someone else might be looking for just that idea. We can all start with cluttered mess and encourage each other to rise above it.
Very little of what we do stays done. I've gone back to the Elegance posts, pulled up the pictures and said to my kids, "There. That's what we're are capable of doing. Now, make it look like that again." It rarely happens, but it IS inspiration.
There was so MUCH talk last summer about how hard people were working to make improvements because they were inspired by the fair,I don't understand how people could get the idea that those homes always look the way they did on fair day.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Donna
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I now live by the quote, "A perfectly tidy home is kept by those who have nothing better to do."
We all have much better things to do .
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Donna
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Becky Parker
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This has been a great thread for me. For a Christmas gift this year my dh actually gave me a cleaning lady! Well, it lasted about 2 months. I had to clean so much to get ready for the cleaning lady that the whole day before she came I was grumpy and did nothing with my dc but yell at them to stop making messes. The peace I thought it would bring to my home just wasn't coming. Now we're back to no cleaning lady but much more happiness!
Lately though, we've had some men working in our basement as we are in the midst of remodeling (so we can move all the clutter down there!). The one man is a friend of dh. He and his wife both work full time and they have 3 children but their house is always immaculate. I know this because I have been there and we also share a babysitter who tells me it is always clean even when the kids play - they are afraid to make a mess! So, yesterday, my biggest nightmare came true - he came upstairs to ask me a question right at around 11:00. This is the worst time of day around here because while I have been doing school work with the older kids all morning, the littles have been running around making messes. Anyway, he walked into our family room, looked untterly shocked, and all I could say was "Uh, welcome to lego-land!". Oh well, it is what it is, right?!
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Becky
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Angel
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Ok, I feel much better now. And, Molly, I think I would enjoy the view of the chicken! (We don't have chickens here because, well, I guess I'm a little "chicken" when it comes to animals. What I have on my outside windowledge is an old Orange Crush bottle one of the kids dug out of the woods. I have no idea why it's there, it just is.)
Elizabeth, I don't think the fairs have ever made me feel discouraged. I skipped a few because I couldn't do enough work to get ready for them, but I understood that the fairs were about working toward a goal. What I *do* have to keep in mind as I read blogs on a day-to-day basis is that I shouldn't be comparing myself with others who have different talents than I do or who are in different situations.
The house *is* sucking away a lot of everyone's energy right now, so we're working hard to change it. We're trying to come up with strategies to eliminate the clutter in the first place and keep what's left out of the hands of the babies (for the most part!) I don't mind seeing the results of a day of creativity and play spread around -- the house would be so cold without them -- but I *do* like to be physically able to have it picked up at least before bedtime! Andy and the kids don't need the house to be immaculate, but they do need to be able to walk through a room without tripping. So we're working on it -- little steps forward. The little steps are making a difference -- for instance, I put away or gave away a couple of containers of toys this past weekend, and I had no idea those toys were what had pushed us over the edge into not being able to get it all picked up every night. But apparently they were, because it's a lot easier now.
Since I'm pregnant again, some of our routines are kind of slipping because I have to go to sleep earlier, but I have to sleep, you know? I'm not the kind of person who could keep a perfect house even if I tried, but I'm certainly not going to kill myself trying to do it now! But I don't think that should stop me from trying to *improve* in little ways. As long as I keep in mind that I am taking small steps toward a large goal, it helps me to keep my perspective when I see someone else's "perfect" rooms, learning, etc.!
--Angela
Three Plus Two
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Dawn
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I may not post pictures of the mess, but I do try to mention it regularly and truthfully:
From a recent post:
12:30 ~ Mid-day tidy. I go down to get mail and re-boot laundry. At this point the kitchen and learning room (dining room) are clean, the living room is neat. The bedrooms need (more than a bit of) straightening, as does the bathroom. The family room looks like ... well, like three boys live here, lol. I always tackle that room last thing before Bill comes home. It's like shoveling in a snowstorm otherwise. I take out the rest of the ingredients for cookies, and the sauce and pasta for tonight.
And from another recent post:
Ok, I'm going to be completely honest with you. As of 6:30 this evening, my kitchen was no cleaner than it was this morning! Well, I did sweep the floor and clear the island. Nothing got wiped down as I had hoped and no menu plan or grocery list was begun - not on paper anyway.
My plan was (and always is) to start in on the kitchen before we begin our lessons, as really, it's the only hope. After 8 a.m. I'm just putting out too many fires to spend any quality cleaning time in any room, let alone the kitchen. Fires such as the one that broke out in Earlybird's bedroom when an entire bag of potato chips somehow got dumped out all over the floor. All over construction paper that had also somehow found its way to the floor and acted as a perfect catch basin for the chip grease. Mind you, this was all before 10 a.m.
So after cleaning up that mess, I turned my wary eye toward the older boys' room and decided it too was in need of a good "pruning." (Thankfully nothing so dire as chip crumbs, however.) So I set Crackerjack to picking up cars and Legos, while Bookworm took action figures and trading cards. I stuck to books, bedding and clothes and within 1/2 an hour we had all the bedrooms put to rights. I also got two loads of laundry done - but please don't ask if they're folded.
So the kitchen work gets bumped to tomorrow - Thursday - the day usually reserved for the living room and family room. That's okay - we're home all day - and tomorrow is a brand new day! Right? :)
My house is far FAR from perfect. We are in need of a serious de-cluttering. Someone here said that clutter is what stands in the way of a clean house. I agree. I have said before that I find it hard to keep up with a homekeeping schedule when I am putting out so many fires a day.
I guess I have hoped that by my language I have shared that I am just trying to keep it all running and that often I have to switch plans or put things off because life isn't always perfect! Things come up, messes are made, projects are abandoned ...
And, if there is a Loveliness of Clutter, I will be right there!
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Dawn, mum to 3 boys
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Essy
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I LOVE this thread. I too have felt very inadequate at times. However, I must say that right now I'm sitting in relatively clean, un-cluttered home and I can give you the secret for that...put your house on the market! LOL. We have to be ready for viewings and open houses...nothing can motivate you like that.
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Cheryl
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One half of my house is a mess right now. At least one half is usually a mess unless we are having a party and my dh helps out. A couple of weeks ago I posted pictures on my blog of my messy pantry and messy mudroom because I hoped that it would motivate me to organize them, but it didn't. They are still a mess. When I get to it, I'll probably post pictures. I like before and after shots because they make me feel good. I feel like I'm making some progress. I don't think posting pictures of how the house usually looks will make me feel good. It will probably overwhelm me, embarrass my dh and my Dad will probably tell me to stop taking pictures and to get to work!
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Cheryl
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J.Anne
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Dawn, "Lovliness of Clutter" - THAT is one fair I would be certain to enter. I don't know where the stuff comes from!
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Jennifer
http://ascozyasspring.typepad.com
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JennGM
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J.Anne wrote:
| Dawn, "Lovliness of Clutter" - THAT is one fair I would be certain to enter. I don't know where the stuff comes from! |
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Isn't it all a work in progress? I used the Fairs as a prodding to get things clean, but they don't stay that way. We could Clutter Fairs and identify "zones" like Flylady. For inspiration we could try Before and After pictures...with a twist. The "Before" are the clean ones we aim for guests. The "After" is a few hours/days (or minutes) when the family is unleashed in that space.
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Jennifer G. Miller
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Ruth
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Molly, I love the chicken picture.
This is so much fun 
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Ruth
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My family blog
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SharonO
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Suzanne- I LOVE the bottle of brandy! That really made my day. Somedays the kiddos bring me to the point of needing a drink.
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Sharon in MO
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SharonO
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| Posted: Feb 08 2007 at 7:36am | IP Logged
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Elizabeth wrote:
Very little of what we do stays done. I've gone back to the Elegance posts, pulled up the pictures and said to my kids, "There. That's what we're are capable of doing. Now, make it look like that again." It rarely happens, but it IS inspiration.
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I remember coming home from my in-laws Christmas evening and feeling the need to put some organization to the clutter of toys and boxes opened that morning before rushing out the door. I started on my kitchen first since I received new pots and pans for Christmas. My daugther just got a new digital camera for Christmas and was taking pictures around the house. When she got to the kitchen, I said, "let's post that one on the refrigerator next to the cleaning checklist". Ideally, whoever cleans the kitchen should not leave there until it looks like that again. But you're right, Elizabeth, rarely does it happen.
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Sharon in MO
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Mary G
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I think, whether your house is cluttered or tidy, stuffed to the brim or spartan in it's furnishings -- the point is: does your home reflect the environment necessary for learning, loving and living.....
We tidy up each evening before dinner, but my kids and the rest of us LIVE here and there is dust on the desk, or a stray cobweb because instead of stopping to clean, we're learning/loving/living!
But I must say, I'm enjoying all the pictures and "true confessions" -- especially of the bloggers who intimidate me just a tad with their housekeeping binders and their beautifully decorated homes
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MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)
my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
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Anne McD
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Hi Ladies,
Two words just came to mind (while taking a break from sweeping up yesterday's cracker crumbs and pieces of cheese sticks from under the kitchen table while my children are eating breakfast late b/c I had to unearth the kitchen table from last night's dinner remmnants . . . sigh . . . )
Cabin Fever.
The kids are stuck inside. We're stuck inside. Its darn cold out there! I don't know about you, but when the sun is shining warm, there are flowers blooming on the back deck, and the windows are open, letting in a fresh gentle breeze, AND THE CHILDREN ARE SPENDING A GREAT DEAL OF TIME PLAYING OUTDOOORS, I feel better, and I'm a bit more inspired to keep things better under control (talking about myself here, no one else! I'm a lazy tushie! )
Then again, you have wet children comming in the back door, and the sand from the sandbox gets all over the house.
Right now, I'll take the sand.
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Anne
Wife to Jon
Mommy to Alex 9
James 8
Katie 6
William 3 1/2
Benedict Joseph 1
and baby on the way! 10/14
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: It is what it is.....
