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Nina Murphy
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| Posted: July 26 2006 at 7:33pm | IP Logged
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Thank you, Marybeth.
I was forgetting the "Quality Time" one. I really am not sure if I am ONE. Are you supposed to be predominantly ONE, like the Temperaments? DH is definitely Touch, but I am not. I think I am Acts of Service.
I know-------crying at 6:30 AM definitely would NOT help my case!!! 
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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hylabrook1
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| Posted: July 26 2006 at 8:19pm | IP Logged
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Stef -
I would say that being happy about any of the love languages doesn't make you high maintenance, only easier to love!
I also wanted to say for those who, like me, have husbands whose love language is physical touch, and also feel at the end of the day like we REALLY need some "personal space" that I have found something that works. If I can have 20-30 minutes in a nice warm bath, maybe reading a book or magazine, I emerge very relaxed, restored, and much less in need of being left alone.
Peace,
Nancy
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BrendaPeter
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| Posted: July 27 2006 at 9:57am | IP Logged
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Great thread!
Just wanted to recommend a book that has been incredibly inspiring to me in regard to my relationship with my husband. It's The Valiant Woman by Monseigneur Landriot. Don't let the price ($18.95) drive you away. This book has the potential to be life-changing & is worth every penny.
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Blessings,
Brenda (mom to 6)
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Nina Murphy
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| Posted: July 27 2006 at 11:13am | IP Logged
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Thank you, Brenda! My parish has a bookstore and *everything* on marriage and childraising for the Catholic....except for THIS!
I suggest a very affecting (Protestant) book: Lies Women Believe by Nancy Leigh Demoss. Also, one of those possibly life-changing books if you are ready to change---tough! I have to keep re-reading it and looking up the scriptures! 
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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kingvozzo
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| Posted: July 27 2006 at 12:09pm | IP Logged
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Nina Murphy wrote:
This is such an important topic, I think. I won't speak for others (my first instinct was to say: "I think most mothers put their children first....") but I will speak for myself and admit, the children will take priority if I don't slap myself around a bit! 
And that is wrong. It may be more *natural*, it may come more *easily* but it doesn't establish a family in security. I have to remind myself, I do not have a sacrament with my children. I share a sacrament with my husband. A living sign of Christ....a life-giving fount....a source of sanctification.
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I have often thought this, but it's not a concept that is spoken about...Imagine, the idea that we should focus even a tiny portion of ourselves on someone other than our children . It seems that it's very popular in secular culture to emphasize time and effort for ourselves, but not that same attention for our husbands.
It's an idea that needs more attention.
My husband also doesn't have a hobby (like golf) that takes him away from home, and I've often encouraged him to take that time if he feels he needs it. He seems to really need that time at home with his family. But I'm blessed that he's so generous with allowing me that time, because I need it to recharge.
I can also very much identify with the idea of my husband being, in many, many ways, a much better person than I am. When we were dating and discussing marriage, I was so surprised that HE believed ME to be the person with whom he wanted to share his life and raise a family. It was easy to see what a good husband and father he would be. He has helped me and encouraged me to be a far better wife and mother than I could have been with any other man, and it's so good for me to be reminded of how I viewed him before we were married.
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Noreen
Wife to Ed
Mom to 4 great kids and 10 sweet ones in Our Lady's arms
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jackiemomof7
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| Posted: July 27 2006 at 12:20pm | IP Logged
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I also would like to recommend by Kimberly Hahn, "Proverbs 31: More Precious the Jewels: How to be a Godly wife and mother. I listen to this set at least once a year for a refresher for me. She really takes this Proverb and breaks it down and make sense on how we can be this Godly wife.
Just thought I would share and idea.
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Jackie wife to Jim for 27!! years, proud army mom of Chris(25),Chef Matthew(24) and Sister Grace of Benedectines (21),Joshua(19),Nicholas(17),Jaymee(15), Elizabeth(13) and 2 in Heaven.Grandma to 3!
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BrendaPeter
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jackiemomof7 wrote:
| I also would like to recommend by Kimberly Hahn, "Proverbs 31: More Precious the Jewels: How to be a Godly wife and mother. I listen to this set at least once a year for a refresher for me. She really takes this Proverb and breaks it down and make sense on how we can be this Godly wife. |
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Hi Jackie,
I listened to this set as well & found it very helpful. Unfortunately it isn't as accessible as a book. I'm considering making copies of some of the pages of "The Valiant Woman" to post them around my house as reminders!  If anyone has the book or gets it, I always tell my friends to read page 9 about not speaking evil (never) with regard to our husbands.
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Blessings,
Brenda (mom to 6)
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BrendaPeter
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| Posted: July 28 2006 at 7:03am | IP Logged
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I realized I should at least offer a quote for inspiration.
Here's the line from Proverbs 31:
"The valiant woman will render her husband good, and not evil, all the days of her life."
Monseigneur Laundriot's commentary:
"What a noble quality providence hereby accords to women! To render good always, evil never. To render good always, above all to her husband, for she should form but one being with him; to render good under all circumstances and in every way, by words, deeds, counsels, even by silence.....She will render good always, evil never! Evil never! Remember, I insist on that point; for a woman has so many ways of rendering evil if she wishes, so many resources to aid her vengeance, and enable her to scatter thorns around her, when her heart has been lacerated. I beseach you, my children, in the name of God and of your own dearest interests - in the name of your family anbd of your sex - never have recourse to such expedients, even though your husband should be passionate, selfish, and vindictive, and have been guilty of wounding your feelings in the most sensitive part. Stay; I am wrong. There is a noble revenge open to you - to render him good! Oppose an act of abnegation, of self-denial, to each act of selfishness; speak a gentle word for every harsh one. Or, if you cannot do that, at least keep silence; not an aggressive, provoking silence, but one born of love and patience; and next day, or even that evening, perfect your work of vengeance by redoubling every mark of tenderness and attention. Ah! if you would only learn to revenge yourselves in this manner, what victories you would win! What magnanimous contests! What entire and peaceful triumphs!"
He then goes on to offer the example of St. Monica. Hope you're as inspired as I am!
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Blessings,
Brenda (mom to 6)
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Nina Murphy
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| Posted: July 28 2006 at 12:18pm | IP Logged
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The problem is not with me getting inspired...the problem is with sticking to the resolution! It is just very, very hard when "your feelings are wounded in the most sensitive part", no? But we valiantly forge on....
This book sounds like a keeper!
Thanks for the quote. 
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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BrendaPeter
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| Posted: July 28 2006 at 3:01pm | IP Logged
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Nina Murphy wrote:
The problem is not with me getting inspired...the problem is with sticking to the resolution! It is just very, very hard when "your feelings are wounded in the most sensitive part", no?
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OH Nina, I so UNDERSTAND! I've given that A LOT of thought lately. I've been thinking that one major issue which thwarts my resolve to move in the proper direction is the distraction that results from too much stuff. I become easily overwhelmed and scattered with too many things and choices & I lose my focus. For instance, when I read some of the blogs which have some wonderful recommendations for products that will help with homeschooling, I almost pass out cold ! That's probably why I'm so attracted to "multum non multa." Keeping it simple (the KISS method ) has become an absolute necessity for me.
I've found that this is also the case with too many spiritual books & "paths". Lately I've been thinking about St. Therese & St. Joseph Moscati who regularly read the same 2 books - the Holy Bible and "The Imitation of Christ" - over & over. At this point, reading scripture and "The Valiant Woman" over & over might not be such a bad thing. Again "multum non multa" - less but deeply.
There are no overnight remedies of course, but there are resolutions, determination and above all, supernatural graces.
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Blessings,
Brenda (mom to 6)
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Nina Murphy
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| Posted: July 28 2006 at 3:07pm | IP Logged
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Yes, yes! Wise words!! I KNOW I have read way too much!
KISS KISS! 
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: On being a wife
