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SeaStar
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| Posted: March 28 2015 at 6:07am | IP Logged
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Great article, Lindsay!
I especially appreciated her last paragraph;
My point is simply this: popular culture is the smog in which we must live at least part of our lives. We have no choice but to face it, now and again, if only to keep track of where it will strike next. But it must be approached gingerly, and in small doses, lest we begin to think it normal. Some of what is popular also is good. But one’s judgment, like one’s character, requires constant maintenance. And this I do know: the best way to protect oneself and one’s children from cultural garbage is to keep everyone engaged with cultural beauty—good music, good books, and activities that uplift, not by preaching, but by exposing us to beauty, virtue, and all the gifts of the moral imagination. As with so much else, then, the enemies are pride (the notion that “it will not affect me”) and laziness. Idle hands, and idle minds, truly are the devil’s workshop.
I also thought it was very interesting how she noted that the media and newspapers very much slant what they feed us to make us believe certain things. Her antidote: more books on tape for the car.
Currently I am hating eating out with my kids... a small rant (we don't eat out often, and certainly there are worse problems). Seemingly every restaurant now has TVs playing in every nook and corner.
It is so hard to have a conversation when eyes keep drifting towards TV , and it is so hard to be sitting across from one and ignore it. So- yeah, a quality family treat: eating out at a nice restaurant with ESPN, CSI and the news 
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: March 28 2015 at 7:14am | IP Logged
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I ditto your frustration with the screens in restaurants. We haven't eaten out in almost six months! But one of our favorite places to eat inexpensively is Moe's, and the screens make it really hard to enjoy when the boys just sit, staring, eye's glazed over. We more often get take out for that reason.
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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Elena
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| Posted: April 07 2015 at 8:01pm | IP Logged
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I read the article and found myself nodding my head.
Because I was the mom who diligently taught the faith, and did rosaries, and daily masses, and baked feast day cakes and did all of those things as well as homeschooled from kindergarten
and
my three of my oldest children all left the family home to move in with girlfriends and my 17 year old son made me a grandmother.
And I'm not the only one this happened to in my local homeschool group. 
I remember not that long ago reading that the Vontrap Family was no longer Catholic and that the Mary Reed Newman's children also left the faith and thinking to myself that that would NEVER happen to me. But it did.
So yes, what Melody said is true, and dark and scary and not easy to listen to. Still needed to be said though.
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Elena
Wife to Peter, mom of many!
My Domestic Church
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MarilynW
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| Posted: April 07 2015 at 9:50pm | IP Logged
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Elena wrote:
I read the article and found myself nodding my head.
Because I was the mom who diligently taught the faith, and did rosaries, and daily masses, and baked feast day cakes and did all of those things as well as homeschooled from kindergarten
and
my three of my oldest children all left the family home to move in with girlfriends and my 17 year old son made me a grandmother.
And I'm not the only one this happened to in my local homeschool group.
I remember not that long ago reading that the Vontrap Family was no longer Catholic and that the Mary Reed Newman's children also left the faith and thinking to myself that that would NEVER happen to me. But it did.
So yes, what Melody said is true, and dark and scary and not easy to listen to. Still needed to be said though. |
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Elena  and 
So what can we do apart from pray?
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Marilyn
Blessed with 6 gifts from God
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guitarnan
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| Posted: April 07 2015 at 11:24pm | IP Logged
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I pray a lot, and I walk the walk...and talk the talk. When my son's friend moved in with his fiancee, I told my son why I thought it was a bad idea. Then I did my best to be welcoming to them and give advice grounded in my faith/upbringing when they asked for it. (Yes, they still talk to me.)  
We have never tried to keep our children completely away from popular culture. Instead, we talk about music, film, TV, books, fashion, people, news stories, etc. and try to give our children a reason to stay Catholic in the face of a world that's pretty much a hot mess. We provide a safe place for discussion - a non-judgmental place - and talk through difficult issues. Sometimes we have to say that we don't know why this-or-that event is happening, or how God can turn said event to His glory.
I don't know if this approach will work forever. It works for us now, but my children are very strong-minded and they have both chosen to fiercely defend their faith. Happily, they have found friends along the way who are like them, so they don't feel like little islands of counter-culture. I think that has helped them feel less alone in the midst of the Me-Me-Me/hookup culture.
Having said that, and knowing so many people who have done way more than we have to pass along the Faith to their children, only to see them make choices that don't conform to the Ten Commandments and the Beatitudes, I can also tell you that God does listen to prayer. I've seen miracles happen - not the "Lazarus, come out!" kind but the kind we really look for - the return to the Faith of our husband or wife or child or parent. Sometimes the miracles have been years in the making, and I know they have happened because people have prayed and believed in God's plan.
And, having said THAT, sometimes God's plan looks like a tangle of yarn or a bunch of scribbles on a page. I know my parents would say that - my branch of the family is 100% Catholic, but my brother only goes to Mass when he is with my parents. We had the same schools, the same upbringing, the same examples...but different outcomes.
In the end I think it boils down to "Be Not Afraid" and "Jesus, I Trust in You." We can't ever understand God's plan, and we must trust in Him even in the most difficult times.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: April 08 2015 at 10:10am | IP Logged
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Elena, that hurts my heart! I, too, would love for you to share more if you can. What parts of the article ring especially true to you or what areas do you feel you were not as diligent? I'm trying hard not to say, "where did you go wrong?" because I really hate that phrase and, of course, you could have done everything exactly right and still met the same end! But her article emphasizes vigilance, and you express that what she says is true, and I'd love more specifics on what aspects of the article spoke to you the most. Is there anything you would tell us to do differently?
While the boards were closed, I came across this article on teens and social media by a young teacher that I thought would be helpful. I meant to share it earlier in the week and forgot, so I'm glad this thread was bumped as a reminder. I'm sure the info in it will be obsolete before my kids are there, but it seems worth sharing.
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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Elena
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| Posted: April 08 2015 at 1:01pm | IP Logged
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I wrote a little about what I thought went wrong on my blog here.
I think if I had to do it over, I would add that I would have tried to live out farther too and have more control over who my kids became friends with in the neighborhood.
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Elena
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: April 08 2015 at 1:37pm | IP Logged
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Thank you for sharing, Elena. That answers my question perfectly.
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: April 08 2015 at 1:40pm | IP Logged
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Lindsay - I'm not sure what to think about that article. On the one hand she's saying basically, even if you think you're watching your kids online, your kids are on sites or using apps you know nothing about. But then she concludes by saying "my mom had my Myspace and Facebook password. I never sent a message, posted a picture, or added a friend without her knowing it. It sounds extreme, but I’m safe today because of it."  
Elena I think your observation that a lot of adults.. parents of the boy or girl friend or others.. are undermining our efforts has merit. A lot of adults rather than challenging our teens to live up to high expectations want to be "cool" and give about as good advice as you'd expect from another teen.
I think your rules sound like a good idea.
My only suggestion this direction (it seems to be a good thing with my 18yo) is that at some point during the teen years while they're still at home (so before 18) I feel like they need to own their choices, not just follow mom's and dad's rules. I saw kids that had really strict rules at home who went nuts when they got to college and their parents couldn't make them follow those rules anymore. I've also seen kids that owned the reasons for the rules before they left home and while they might not follow all of them 100% they still kept to the ideals of the rules. I'm not sure how to make that happen for all kids.. but at least some kids seem to be able to make that choice while still at home, following the rules, and not go nuts the minute they're not living at home. I don't know maybe it's about being able to learn without having to experience the consequences yourself. Some people do that easier than others.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: April 08 2015 at 4:03pm | IP Logged
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Jodie, its been a while since I read the article, but my take away at the time was, if you think being their friend on Facebook is enough, it is not, here are some other places to check out.
I also found this video interesting and applicable to all sorts of areas, but I think it speaks well to why certain house rules are the answer for some kids and only serve to drive away others
Gretchen Rubin: The Four Ways to Successfully Adopt New Habits
ETA:
Quote:
| When someone (even yourself) gives you a rule to follow what do you do? Are you a Rebel, refusing to follow all directives? Or are you more of an Obliger who will respond to outer rules, but so not much to inner rules? In this 99U talk, bestselling author Gretchen Rubin shares the four personality types when it comes to adopting new habits or “rules.” Knowing your personality type and its pros and cons are instrumental to adopting new habits and behavior. |
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: April 08 2015 at 4:15pm | IP Logged
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I guess I was reading from the position of having kids on facebook and her saying that my kids must be using these other apps secretly. But then her solution was to know what your kids are using (ummm yeah, facebook).. didn't sound like a solution to the kids using apps secretly.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: April 09 2015 at 6:59am | IP Logged
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I see what you are saying. I think it is probably a good idea to be aware of what all the other kids are using so that in the very least, you know what your children are up against and what their friends likely have on their phones. I had never heard of most of those things. Her audience is probably pretty different than this board, but I thought it spoke to general awareness.
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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SeaStar
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| Posted: April 09 2015 at 7:22am | IP Logged
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Elena wrote:
I wrote a little about what I thought went wrong on my blog here.
I think if I had to do it over, I would add that I would have tried to live out farther too and have more control over who my kids became friends with in the neighborhood. |
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Thank you so much for sharing, Elena
You bring up so many good points, and your honesty and willingness to share is so appreciated. Who has a perfect life?? Not at my house....
I am soaking all this up... video (so interesting), articles, comments.
I don't know all the answers. My ds just saved up enough money to buy himself an ipod, which has scared me to death . He mostly wanted it for the camera, the stop-motion video, birding apps, etc, but it is the ocean, right? Sharks swim in it.
A while ago I read "Keeping Our Children's Hearts" by Steve and Teri Maxwell; I loved it. Radical? Yes. Doable? Well, they've done it. (They did not always live this way... their story is long and often funny and at times sad). I love their blog at Titus2.
Anyway, I come from a family of six kids, and all my siblings are lapsed Catholics in one way or another. All raised the same... all different outcomes. Why?
My family in general... Elena, your boys have nothing on some of my clan.
Yet.. there is God, so there is hope. Last Saturday my oldest sister's daughter and her husband joined the church via RCIA.
WHy?
My niece was raised in a very lapsed Catholic home. She was baptized as an infant, but never went to church. Her husband was raised in a home with no religion at all. They are in their mid-thirties. A couple of years ago they switched their kids over to a Catholic school. Kids came home the first year wanting an Advent wreath. No one knew exactly what that was (how sad is that? We had one every year growing up).
There was a lot of upset and anger over that- niece felt foolish and angry with her mom that she was so ignorant. My sister hotly tried to defend herself. They bought a wreath, and it sat on the kitchen counter all through Advent, and no one did anything other than look at it.
Fast forward to last July: we are at a family gathering. I get cornered by this niece and nephew and am not sure what they want. Well, what they want is Jesus. Can I help them? Yes, after I pick myself up off the floor.
Never in a million years would I have predicted this. The Holy Spirit is out there, alive and well, so there is HOPE.
I recently came across a book called "Your God is Too Small".
Great title... don't we all fall into the trap of putting our own expectations and limits on what God can do?
Our God is HUGE, and he has seen a teenager or two. He can fix whatever's broken. I have to put that up on my wall, I think....
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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CrunchyMom
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That is a beautiful story, Melinda. I suppose we, as the parent, should always look towards Saint Monica for hope, too.
What you said also brought to mind again this quote you took from the article I linked.
Quote:
| And this I do know: the best way to protect oneself and one’s children from cultural garbage is to keep everyone engaged with cultural beauty—good music, good books, and activities that uplift, not by preaching, but by exposing us to beauty, virtue, and all the gifts of the moral imagination. As with so much else, then, the enemies are pride (the notion that “it will not affect me”) and laziness. Idle hands, and idle minds, truly are the devil’s workshop. |
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Whenever I have had this conversation about sheltering in the past, even when my kids were little, there is always the sense that it is only a taking away of things. But we aren't seeking to raise our children in vacuums, and I think that perhaps the active work and the work that is a better use of our energy is that of seeking the edifying outlets that can leave everybody engaged and fulfilled, even if that requires stretching ourselves to help our children find such an outlet that we are at present uninterested in ourselves. This cannot be fruitless, even if our children do rebel at some point, because at least if they decide to turn back, they will not feel helpless like your poor niece and nephew.
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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SeaStar
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Yes- exactly! Sheltering is not only the taking away of things- the Maxwells realized this very early on in their journey , and they address this in their book.
Yes, they removed their older sons from Little League. It was taking away their family time, to the point where the whole family could not sit down and eat together most nights anymore. Their boys cared more about what the coach said than what their parents said.
What did they replace it with?
Umm... their dad. He spent more time with his boys, gave up flying planes and running marathons to be with his family more, and they all learned things *together*: "manly things", even the girls, like carpentry, plumbing, hiking, etc. More service time... for neighbors and the elderly.
More Jesus.
What is sheltering? To me, it is taking the focus off bad things, even terrible things like a lot of the stuff on TV and at the movies, and replacing them with beautiful things: more family time, more working and playing together, more time for God. How can that be a bad thing?
I can't see into the future. I don't know how my kids will turn out.
Coming home from the Veneration of the Cross on Good Friday, my ds
was incensed by all the kneeling and standing, the up and down, and the length of the service (nearly two hours- he forgets every year how long it is and loudly laments all the way home... each year).
Anyway, in the car he was all riled up afterwards, and he said,"When I grow up..."
and I am holding my breath, waiting to hear what is coming next...
"I am going to church the bare minimum!!!"
and then I could let out my breath again because the words were not "I am never going to church again!"
Kids are such a mix- who knows what all is going on in their heads besides God? My ds knows Good Friday is not a holy day of obligation. Maybe he will play that card in the future. At the same time, before the Good Friday service, I had to tell him that no, you cannot wear your black Darth Vader t-shirt to church today. His answer to me was, "Sheesh! It's black. Isn't today a day of mourning?"
The wheels spin in their heads...
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
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MarilynW
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| Posted: April 10 2015 at 9:43pm | IP Logged
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This thread has given me much to think about. And I am grateful to moms like Elena who share their pain in a humble way.
I thought I would share what I wrote in my journal in 2011. My oldest was then only 15. But even then, there were many discussions about kids from faithful Catholic families leaving their faith. And looking at my own siblings who no longer practice their faith, I pray and ponder a lot. I have more to say that I did in 2011, but it was interesting to read what I wrote in my journal:
(My Journal – Nov 5, 2011)
There is a lot of discussion right now about how teenagers rebel. Examples are given about how even in homeschooling families or those who send their kids to Catholic schools, there are kids who use their free will to make the wrong choices. Frankly the articles and comments are terrifying to many of us parents who know that Satan's particular target is the family and our children. Those of us whose principal goal is for our family to get to Heaven together, those of us who want to stand before the throne of God and say "Lord I did not lose any of those little ones you entrusted to me."
This is actually a subject that I have been pondering and discussing with [dh] for many months now. All around us we see teenagers leaving their faith and their families. Even faithful Catholic families. We have spent much time trying to figure out why, to see if there are any patterns, anything we can do to safeguard our own children's hearts and try to keep our family close. Recently I have also sought advice from some wise Catholic mamas who seem to have navigated the waters well and have raised close families with children who love their Catholic faith. I have asked them to share what they did to safeguard their families.
Before I share my observations and thoughts and musings and discussions - I do want to stress a few things:
a) Our children do have free will. We cannot control what they believe or what they think.
b) Whilst searching for reasons that children leave their families and faith, I am not trying to put blame on parents or families. None of us are perfect and we live in a very tough culture.
c) I have not (yet?!)had any trouble with my children - but my oldest is only 15. I have not yet parented a teenage boy! I feel that I am really blessed with wonderful children but I also am not sitting here on my laurels thinking "wow I have great children" and looking judgementally on those whose kids are making bad choices. Rather I am thinking - "Lord, am I doing anything wrong? Lord what can we do to keep our children's hearts turned towards You and towards our family?" Each day has its challenges as we parent children at various stages of development and angst from terrible two's to teenage issues. I am sure that there are battles ahead - and I just pray constantly for wisdom and grace and strength.
d) I KNOW that the main thing we mothers (and fathers) need to be doing, is to be on our knees constantly. Praying and fasting and sacrificing and battling for the souls of our children. More than discussing or writing or seeking the counsel of others. Read books such as Mothers of Priests and books about the mothers of great saints. What do we see - we see mamas whose lives were focused simply and quietly on God, on their families and on charitable works.
Whilst I think that is important to recognize that we are losing our children - even in good Catholic families, and that despite our best efforts, our children can lose their way, I REALLY BELIEVE that this is NOT inevitable, and that we have to examine WHY this is happening. Here are some of my ponderings as to why this is happening. And what is more, after discussing with some other mamas, we all seem to be thinking along the same lines:
1. Me - as the mother of the family. I am the glue of the family. I spend the most time with my children. What is my faith like? Am I walking the walk or just talking the talk? Am I truly present to my children? Even as a homeschooling mom - am I really present? Am I spending too much time online, on the phone, at church saving the souls of others, yet not tending those of my children? Am I influenced by the popular cult of "me" - secretly resenting these children and their demands on my time and attention? Do I think that I am entitled to my work, my hobbies, my exercise etc
2. My marriage - if I do not have a strong marriage, my kids are more likely to stray. As parents in today's world we can become too busy and fail to focus on the most important thing - our marriage. The security and happiness of our children depends on mom and dad being loving and in love, making time for each other and resoving conflicts respectfully. If we want our children to live godly lives, then we have to model God's love in the way we relate to our spouse.
3. Dad - and his influence in the house. When I look at the godly families around me - there is always a present and strong father. A dad who spends a lot of time with his children. A dad who is not always at work or playing golf or watching tv. For the family to function, the father has to be the leader of his home (and his wife has to recognize this!) - to ensure discipline and respect and godliness. This is probably even more important when there are sons. But even for daughters - for example, daughters with strong godly fathers are less likely to dress immodestly or seek esteem from unsuitable relationships.
4. "Busyness" - oh yes, the curse of being constantly busy. The curse of our generation. Constant activity and things to do. Rushing around and getting stressed. Over-complicated lives. No time to focus on God or morals or manners or resolving family relationships. This article says it all - Satan's Meeting: Read Even if You Are Busy. Our marriages and families are collapsing because we are over-committed and over-stressed. With big families, we do not have to do a lot of things - just lots of kids doing one or two things can lead to burn out. This article on simplifying is excellent - Simplifying Our Lives. It IS more important for our children to have peaceful homes than lots of opportunities and activities.
5. Unrestricted electronics. Cellphones, internet, Facebook, videogames etc etc etc. I am not saying these are wrong or our children should never have access to them. Just that there should be controls and restrictions. My observations are that children who lose their way usually have too much freedom with electronic gadgets and spend too much time online. As parents we have to discuss all the new technology with our children, we have to model moderation and responsible use of the various media, we have to discuss dangers and courtesy, and yes - even for teenagers - we have to set limits.
6. Organized sports. OK this is a toughie for me. All my children are very athletic and the boys play soccer or baseball from an early age. But from observations, over-involvement in competive sports seems to be another risk factor for children leaving their faith and family. I have discussed our struggles in this post. I think excercise is important and especially for boys. We live in the suburbs where there is not too much opportunity for hard physical work - except for mowing, leaf raking and some gardening. Playing with local house teams has been a huge benefit for my boys. For us it has worked out well - but that is because of the dedication and efforts of my husband. He coaches the teams of ALL the boys. As well as managing a stressful job. He makes the children his priority (after me of course!) My boys have been in the same teams for years - they have not been exposed ot much ugly stuff (except for some overzealous parents) - my husband would not tolerate unsportsmanlike conduct, bad language or anything else unsavory. He is known as a dedicated and excellent coach. But even we have struggles - the pressures for athletic children to join "super leagues" and travel leagues even as young as seven. We are resisting - but it is hard to be counter cultural. This is a very thought-provoking article - though I want to give the caveat that I do not endorse or agree with the CLAA philosophy ( in fact I would never enroll my children in their school) - I still think the article gives much to think about - The Plague of Idle Boyhood
7. Affluence - again a contentious observation. But there could be a case that by providing our children with too much, not expecting them to work hard contribute to the family income, giving them a sense of entitlement - we are not encouraging them to make good choices? The gospels repeatedly mention the dangers of wealth and of over attachment of possessions. Just something to think about.
Well - those are some of my ponderings. I personally do not want to keep reading the many blog posts and articles that are in vogue right now about how our kids may make bad choices. I want to pray and seek wisdom and try to make changes to try and avoid this happening. I don't believe that parents have no influence at all. I want to sit before our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament and bring him my concerns and worries and ask him to show us how to raise our family. Sometimes it seems such a daunting task - all these children at various emotional stages. I want to make the time to discuss this with my husband. And to seek the counsel of wise women - both those who have already made the journey - but also those who may not have, yet provide so much wisdom and support. I also like to read articles such as : Do You Have What It Takes To Be a Good Parent. and The Hand That Rocks the Cradle and The Hand That Rocks the Cradle continued.
We can pray together as a family - "the family that prays together stays together." We can eat together daily and give priority to family commitments. In our home the dinner table is a great forum for discussion - about all manner of things. We try to have open conversations with the children about difficult issues. For our family we believe that homeschooling is the best choice for our children, their faith and our family ties.
We can also go to Mass daily, pray the rosary daily and say the following prayers which are in my "daily arsenal"
A Mother's Daily Prayer to the Sacred Heart
O Sacred Heart of Jesus, I present to Thee this day the dearest treasures I possess. I offer Thee the hearts of these tender little ones. Oh, make their hearts meek and humble Thine own. Remember that, while on earth, it was Thy delight to caress and embrace such as these. Placing Thy pure hands upon them, Thou didst say: "Let the children come to Me, and do not hinder them, for of such is the kingdom of God"; and "Their angels always behold the face of My Father in heaven." Look, I beseech, O Divine and loving Heart, upon the innocence of these children, and mercifully deign to bless them. Grant them sobriety, piety, and Thy holy fear. Grant them grace to grow up in the observance of Thy holy Commandments. Purify their hearts, sanctify their lives, adorn them with chastity, and crown them with good works. Bestow upon them prosperity, peace, safety, and a fervent charity. Preserve them from all dangers, and from the deceit of the devil. Defend them always with Thy powerful protection, and in the end conduct them safely to the joys of Paradise. Admit them now into the Sanctuary of Thy tender and loving Heart, both for time and for eternity. Sweetest Heart of Jesus, I claim them no longer as my own. They belong wholly to Thee. Do with them as Thou wilt. And may the blessing of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost descend upon them and remain with them forever. Amen.
Prayer for Our Children to Choose The Right Spouse
Heavenly Father, we ask You to guide our children in the choice of spouse. Don't let them be carried away by false charms or be fascinated by mere outward glamour, but guide their minds to look beneath and beyond all external attractiveness for the deeper things which alone are worthwhile. And especially let the choice be of one who is a fervent Catholic, true in thought and word and deed to those ideals which are Yours especially the value of their purity. Dear Father of us all, give Your guiding help to our children, who are Your children too. We'll be letting them go soon, but please, don't ever let our children go from You. Amen
Prayer for Future Spouses of Our Children
Dear Lord I ask you to show favor upon my children and help them to find the spouses you have chosen for them. I lift up my children’s future spouses to You and ask that You will guard, protect and keep them from the evil one and from all impurity. I pray for their parents and ask you to strengthen their marriage so that they will be raised in a happy and godly home. Shape them and mold them by your Holy Spirit - help them to love You above all and to listen and follow Your will for them. Help them to stay on Your path that they may find the destiny You have prepared for their future. Saint Joseph and Saint Raphael - please pray for my children and their future spouses.
Prayer for a Son to be a Priest
O God, grant that one of my sons may become a priest! I myself want to live as a good Christian and want to guide my children always to do what is right, so that I may receive the grace, o God, to be allowed to give you a holy priest! Amen.
(Prayer of the Mothers of Lu)
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Marilyn
Blessed with 6 gifts from God
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CrunchyMom
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Thank you for you thoughts, Marilyn. I especially like the reminder about family meals. It is such a simple thing, but studies have shown repeatedly that the act of eating together regularly is the number one predictor of a healthy family life.
I am convicted that I need to pray much more and certainly be engaged much more. This is something I've been working on this lent. I've had two high needs babies in recent years and have used this as an excuse of sorts to distance myself.
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
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[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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JodieLyn
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Marilyn, that's an impressive list.
If I may, I'd like to point out that many of those boil down to "who do we as parents point our children to as authority". Is it really playing a sport that's the problem or is it the people running the sport that we've let be an authority that are the problem? Is it using electronics or letting them be an authority? is it being busy or it is letting the busyness dictate the priorities (and skewing them)?
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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SeaStar
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Thank you, Marilyn, for sharing your thoughts, and especially for the Mother's Prayer to the Sacred Heart. It is beautiful.
I wanted to point out, too, that it is not just Catholic teens who are falling away from their religion; it is happening across the board.
And I find that interesting, because so many churches go to great lengths to keep their youth engaged: they have gyms and youth centers with any kind of entertainment you can think of, from video games to popcorn machines to snack bars. But all that is not working, either.
Maybe twenty years ago a basketball court and Friday movie night at church would have been enough to keep kids coming back. Or maybe it does work, or at least helps.
*sigh* That brings me back to the three P's: prayer, parents, and perseverance.
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: The Hard Truth About Raising Catholic
