| Author | |
LucyP
Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 05 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 791
|
| Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 7:00am | IP Logged
|
 |
|
We were both 20. Lots of Christians I know, if they had met "the one", did marry young - because of the chastity situation.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Lisbet
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2006
Location: Michigan
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2706
|
| Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 9:38am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Oh Mary Theresa, I used to get so much of that too, even worse about never having went to college. I had our 5th at 26 :)
__________________
Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Ruth
Forum All-Star
Joined: Nov 04 2006
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5007
|
| Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 10:15am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I was 19, he was 20  We just celebrated our 21st wedding anniversary last week. 
__________________
Ruth
mom to 7 miracles
My family blog
Loreto Rosaries
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Stephanie_Q
Forum Pro
Joined: Aug 25 2007
Location: Nebraska
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 479
|
| Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 3:35pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Us too!
__________________
Stephanie dh 6.01
dd 6.02, dd 8.03, ds 3.05, ds 12.06 at Catholic school.
dd 12.09 at home.
Baby boy due 10.13
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
SusanJ
Forum All-Star
Joined: May 25 2007
Location: New Jersey
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1347
|
| Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 4:20pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
In my circles the faithful Catholics tend to get married/have gotten married quite young and the more secular types typically wait. It doesn't seem that mysterious to me. If you value marriage and see being a wife and mother as a vocation by itself and believe what the Church teaches about se*ual morality and the right guy is there--why not get married.
Am I wrong, here? I am not at all surprised at the young marriages here on the Forum.
(We were 23 and 25, by the way)
__________________
Mom to Joseph-8, Margaret-6, William-4, Gregory-2, and new little one due 11/1
Life Together
[URL=http://thejohnstonkids.blogspot.com]The Kids' Blog[/UR
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Lisbet
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2006
Location: Michigan
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2706
|
| Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 4:44pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Well Susan, that's one theory - the other being some may have just had 'shotgun' weddings!  
__________________
Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
MelissaClaire
Forum Pro
Joined: May 16 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 475
|
| Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 5:05pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I had just turned 24 and he had just turned 26.
__________________
Melissa
Mom to a dd ('02), ds ('03), ds ('05), dd ('07) and baby due 9/01/09
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
stefoodie
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 17 2005
Location: Ohio
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 8457
|
| Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 5:08pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
SusanJ wrote:
In my circles the faithful Catholics tend to get married/have gotten married quite young and the more secular types typically wait. It doesn't seem that mysterious to me. If you value marriage and see being a wife and mother as a vocation by itself and believe what the Church teaches about se*ual morality and the right guy is there--why not get married.
Am I wrong, here? I am not at all surprised at the young marriages here on the Forum.
(We were 23 and 25, by the way) |
|
|
no, you're right. it's in *my IRL circles* where young marriages aren't the norm. i don't have many IRL friends who got married young -- most waited until at least late 20's, some even up to late 30's to get married. i *love* having found many like-minded women here who also married young. one more reason i feel a sense of belonging here. 
__________________
stef
mom to five
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
ekbell
Forum All-Star
Joined: May 22 2009
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 747
|
| Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 5:30pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
It doesn't seem particularly mysterious to me.
Many of the people I knew were 'living together' with someone at about the same age my hubby and I did.
The only major difference was that we got married before moving in with each other! (and stayed with each other)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Anneof 5
Forum Pro
Joined: June 10 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 217
|
| Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 6:34pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I consider myself and dh to be "faithful Catholics" and we were 28 and 33 when we got married. It has no reflection on our fidelity to Church teaching or our morality. We would have loved to have found each other earlier, but it happened in God's timing, not our own.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
lambchopwife
Forum Pro
Joined: Aug 23 2007
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 105
|
| Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 6:55pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I was 18 the first time and had just turned 19 the second. I married the same guy twice. We eloped the first time in San Diego and then had our church wedding after his deployment. He was 21 for the first and 22 for the second. I think it's been a bumpy ride but it's been fun too. It's nice when you can "grow up together". I still get excited every night when he comes home from work, of course it could be the whole uniform thing! Nah, it's just I love him like crazy!!! Good poll!!!!!
God bless,
Cheryl
__________________
~ Be not afraid to tell Jesus that you love Him; even though it be without feeling, this is the way to oblige Him to help you, and carry you like a little child too feeble to walk.~ St. Therese
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
SusanMc
Forum Pro
Joined: Jan 21 2008
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 192
|
| Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 7:34pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
stefoodie wrote:
no, you're right. it's in *my IRL circles* where young marriages aren't the norm. i don't have many IRL friends who got married young -- most waited until at least late 20's, some even up to late 30's to get married. i *love* having found many like-minded women here who also married young. one more reason i feel a sense of belonging here. |
|
|
I'm happy for you, really I am. With the rest of the culture so anti-young marriage I'm glad y'all are finally getting some validation.
But this thread is making me feel the opposite of a sense of belonging here. Because I came from a non-traditional family, I have a "blended" family myself, and it is a relatively small family at that. I often feel this way in faithful Catholic circles. I'm struggling not to covet your ability to have lots of kids, no co-parenting struggles, and double digit anniversaries!
But then again, if I had married young I probably wouldn't have the fabulous, faith-filled husband that I'm so blessed to have.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
stefoodie
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 17 2005
Location: Ohio
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 8457
|
| Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 7:43pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
SusanMc wrote:
I'm happy for you, really I am. With the rest of the culture so anti-young marriage I'm glad y'all are finally getting some validation.
But this thread is making me feel the opposite of a sense of belonging here. Because I came from a non-traditional family, I have a "blended" family myself, and it is a relatively small family at that. I often feel this way in faithful Catholic circles. I'm struggling not to covet your ability to have lots of kids, no co-parenting struggles, and double digit anniversaries!
But then again, if I had married young I probably wouldn't have the fabulous, faith-filled husband that I'm so blessed to have. |
|
|
Oh, Susan, I am so, so, so sorry. I didn't mean to be insensitive. Please forgive me.
Did want to point out -- "no co-parenting struggles" -- not us!
__________________
stef
mom to five
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
RamFam
Forum Pro
Joined: Feb 21 2008
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 425
|
| Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 8:15pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
SusanMc wrote:
I'm happy for you, really I am. With the rest of the culture so anti-young marriage I'm glad y'all are finally getting some validation.
But this thread is making me feel the opposite of a sense of belonging here. Because I came from a non-traditional family, I have a "blended" family myself, and it is a relatively small family at that. I often feel this way in faithful Catholic circles. I'm struggling not to covet your ability to have lots of kids, no co-parenting struggles, and double digit anniversaries!
But then again, if I had married young I probably wouldn't have the fabulous, faith-filled husband that I'm so blessed to have. |
|
|
I know what you mean. I had my daughter at 16, a shotgun wedding, 6 months later a 'divorce' and found my dh a few years later. I am now 25 with two stepsons only 3 and four years younger than me, my daughter and our four boys which we've had in five years. Not conventional. Not what I would have planned. Plenty of struggles. But I thank God everyday for my husband, kiddos and my new found Catholic Faith!
I think you will find some less conventional marriages on here, too. We are so blessed to have this group of friends, aren't we?
__________________
Leah
RamFaminNOVA
Tom ^i^, Kyle (my Marine), Adeline '00, Wyatt '05, Isaac '07 Philip '08,Michael '10, and John Xavier Feb '13
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Mackfam
Board Moderator
Non Nobis
Joined: April 24 2006
Location: Alabama
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 14656
|
| Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 8:22pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
SusanMc wrote:
But this thread is making me feel the opposite of a sense of belonging here. Because I came from a non-traditional family, I have a "blended" family myself, and it is a relatively small family at that. I often feel this way in faithful Catholic circles. I'm struggling not to covet your ability to have lots of kids, no co-parenting struggles, and double digit anniversaries! |
|
|
Please don't feel this way, Susan. I think one of the greatest blessings of this board is that there are a variety of *right answers* that are embraced. Sometimes, when a group of people finds like-mindedness it's hard not to let out a collective exhale. It's tough being counter-cultural!!!!! There are a few members on this thread that married at a later age - so you're not alone! God's timing is always perfect! Enough said there!
No looking around and comparing, ok? Live out the beauty in the gifts God has granted you! It sounds like you have an amazing husband! Go give him a smooch!
__________________
Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
ekbell
Forum All-Star
Joined: May 22 2009
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 747
|
| Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 8:32pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
SusanMc wrote:
But this thread is making me feel the opposite of a sense of belonging here. Because I came from a non-traditional family, I have a "blended" family myself, and it is a relatively small family at that. I often feel this way in faithful Catholic circles. I'm struggling not to covet your ability to have lots of kids, no co-parenting struggles, and double digit anniversaries!
But then again, if I had married young I probably wouldn't have the fabulous, faith-filled husband that I'm so blessed to have. |
|
|
May you have as many aniversaries and as much good fortune in your family life as my mother's parents!
They celebrated their 50th wedding aniversary this year at ages 89 (my Mom's mom) and 85 (my Mom's stepdad/adoptive father).
My Oma was a widow so they also had a blended family (three from her first marriage) and they were immigrants making a new home far from extended family.
Twenty odd grandchildren and a dozen or so great-grandchildren later, they are still living independently but are now surrounded by extended family 
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
SusanMc
Forum Pro
Joined: Jan 21 2008
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 192
|
| Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 8:45pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Thanks for the kind words, all. They really lifted me up out of my poor-me-I-don't-compare pity party! Just a brief lapse into an old bad habit, I'm afraid. Sorry for the hijack.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
margot helene
Forum Pro
Joined: Feb 26 2006
Location: Pennsylvania
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 350
|
| Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 8:46pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Anneof 5 wrote:
| I consider myself and dh to be "faithful Catholics" and we were 28 and 33 when we got married. It has no reflection on our fidelity to Church teaching or our morality. We would have loved to have found each other earlier, but it happened in God's timing, not our own. |
|
|
Same here . . . God didn't send the right one until the right time. There were several boyfriends along the way that I wanted with all my heart to marry, but it never worked out. I was 33 to the day (wedding day was my birthday). Husband is 8 years younger than I am.
Margot
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Lisbet
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2006
Location: Michigan
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2706
|
| Posted: Oct 29 2009 at 4:49am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Remember too, that even many of us that married young, have many anniversaries under our belts along with many children, come from very diverse backgrounds also. I cannot tell you what a poor example of marriage my parents were, and Tony and I lived together for a year before we were married - Our anniversary is March 4th, Nicholas' birthday is March 27th - of the SAME year! God works with all of us in different ways! :) I was amazed a few years back when a group of Catholic moms here shared answers to the question "how did you meet your husband?" I always thought everyone else had the 'fairytale' and I was ashamed of our very sinful past.
__________________
Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
SusanJ
Forum All-Star
Joined: May 25 2007
Location: New Jersey
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1347
|
| Posted: Oct 29 2009 at 6:03am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I just turned my computer on before breakfast because I suddenly panicked last night that my choice of wording was poor above.
I certainly did not mean to suggest that a later marriage would be reason to questions your fidelity to the Church or that all 19-year olds getting married were model Christians or Catholics at the time of their wedding. I only meant to point out that the makeup of the board right now is women devoted to the teachings of the Church and that this usually leads to earlier marriage rather than living together. I know we all started out different places and that some of us would have gotten married sooner if circumstances had allowed it.
But our statistical sample here is pretty skewed and not really something I could compare to most of the people I know IRL.
My brother and sister were also married "young" by most standards at 22 and 24 (and I was 23). But given that my parents had a shotgun wedding (because of me) and later divorced I am grateful that we all managed to find wonderful spouses.
__________________
Mom to Joseph-8, Margaret-6, William-4, Gregory-2, and new little one due 11/1
Life Together
[URL=http://thejohnstonkids.blogspot.com]The Kids' Blog[/UR
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: How old were you when you got married?
