Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Planning and Ordering our Days (Forum Locked Forum Locked)
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Angie Mc
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Posted: Oct 26 2009 at 4:57pm | IP Logged Quote Angie Mc

Stef mentioned the book, The Myth of Multitasking - here. I did some research and found this article by the author and this interview with the author.

I have always seen myself as a "multitasker" and always assumed it was a good thing - a talent to be able to switch quickly from one thing to another. Now, I'm not so sure. In fact, my brain is conspiring against me as I get older, making it much harder for me to switch anyway.      

Do mothers tend to see ourselves as multitaskers? Are we actually switchtasking? Does our work suffer because of this? Do our relationships suffer?

I'll be pondering this concept and am wondering if anyone else wants to ponder with me? Perhaps we can come up with some practical applications, too .

Love,   

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Willa
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Posted: Oct 26 2009 at 6:11pm | IP Logged Quote Willa

I haven't read the links, yet.   I'm not naturally a multi-tasker, but don't moms HAVE to learn to do this? What about tending a baby, making dinner and talking to the teenager all at the same time?   I'm not saying it's the best way to operate, but is there any way around it?

--from a natural hyperfocuser

ETA: Not trying to divert the topic in a different direction, ANgie! I'll be checking the thread because I always benefit from topics on executive function and I am guessing that that's really what the multi-tasking concerns are about -- lack of ability to zone in and get things done.

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Angie Mc
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Posted: Oct 26 2009 at 7:50pm | IP Logged Quote Angie Mc

Willa wrote:
What about tending a baby, making dinner and talking to the teenager all at the same time?   I'm not saying it's the best way to operate, but is there any way around it?


Exactly and I don't know .

Here are 2 more scenarios for consideration...

1. I'm at the computer gathering an online order, the phone rings and its my dh so I take the call, while my teen hands me the phone he asks if he can have permission to (fill in the blank).

Sooooooo, I switchtasked from my computer work, nodded at my teen, listened to my dh, then went back to the computer work.   I'm confident that I didn't really listen to my teen . I did a little better listening to my dh, but it was hard because my mind really wandered to the online order. Once back to the order, I had to back-track a bit to see where I was so I could start again.

2. Not sure if this is switchtasking or shall we call it "If You Give a Mom a Pile of Laundry" ...I'm folding laundry when I remember that I didn't put in the next load of clothes into the washer. I leave the unfolded laundry to put the next load in and see some shoes left in the laundry room. I pick up the shoes and call for the owner of the shoes. He doesn't come so I look for him. I find him then notice it is later than I thought so I need to put on the water to boil for pasta, which I do. About a million little task later, I'm shocked to find the original laundry pile still unfolded.

I'm wondering if I can tease out where I can become more focused - single tasked - and if this will help me to feel less scattered and chasing-my-tail like. I'm also wondering if there are ways my children can help me...

Love,    

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Posted: Oct 26 2009 at 8:15pm | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

But on the other hand.. when you're not processing interuptions.. but say.. working on that online order and you reach a point and pause.. and go and shift laundry and fold a load.. your hands are busy and your mind can keep considering the online order and you get back and you have had time to think through and process what you're working on and you feel more organized about the order than if you'd hurried it, in order to finish the task so you could get onto the next one.

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Posted: Oct 26 2009 at 8:26pm | IP Logged Quote MaryM

Angie Mc wrote:
Not sure if this is switchtasking or shall we call it "If You Give a Mom a Pile of Laundry" ...I'm folding laundry when I remember that I didn't put in the next load of clothes into the washer. I leave the unfolded laundry to put the next load in and see some shoes left in the laundry room. I pick up the shoes and call for the owner of the shoes. He doesn't come so I look for him. I find him then notice it is later than I thought so I need to put on the water to boil for pasta, which I do. About a million little task later, I'm shocked to find the original laundry pile still unfolded.


Yes, that definitely sounds like the Mommy version of "If you give a mouse a cookie..."   

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Posted: Oct 26 2009 at 10:32pm | IP Logged Quote stefoodie

angie, someone wrote something similar a couple of years back! something about a can of Coke i think. i may be wrong. haha.

i was replying earlier, but multitasking while taking care of baby, so i wasn't focused and had to delete my reply. i think it really depends on which tasks. some tasks i can effectively multi-task. others really need my full attention and a one-thing-at-a-time strategy. toodledo helps me sometimes. that way i can have things "in progress" and i don't forget about them, esp. if they should be higher-priority.

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Posted: Oct 27 2009 at 7:58am | IP Logged Quote CrunchyMom

JodieLyn wrote:
But on the other hand.. when you're not processing interuptions.. but say.. working on that online order and you reach a point and pause.. and go and shift laundry and fold a load.. your hands are busy and your mind can keep considering the online order and you get back and you have had time to think through and process what you're working on and you feel more organized about the order than if you'd hurried it, in order to finish the task so you could get onto the next one.


If you read the article, the author differentiates between switchtasking and background tasking. I think the laundry in the background is "background tasking" since he is not advocating you stand and watch the washer do the laundry

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Posted: Oct 27 2009 at 8:34am | IP Logged Quote MaryM

And I think my thoughts about this vary depending on the task...

I'd really like my pilots to be focused on flying the plane rather than multitasking on laptops -

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Posted: Oct 27 2009 at 2:22pm | IP Logged Quote SusanJ

Elizabeth linked to this article on the subject today. I thought it was pretty balanced as an approach for moms.

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Posted: April 21 2010 at 4:46pm | IP Logged Quote Angie Mc

UPDATE:

I am very pleased with the blessings - especially personal peace and improved family relationships - that have come from focusing on doing one task at a time. The biggest gains have been in planning and ordering my day (which is why I've moved this topic from Tea and Conversation.)

To summarize:

In practical terms I tried to figure out which tasks I prefer to do without interruption, which tasks I prefer to combine with background activity, and which tasks demand that I give my undivided attention to others.

Some tasks I do best without interruption include personal care, reading, typing, writing, and cooking. I now do most of these types of tasks when everyone is asleep or when I can do them in short bursts (less than 10 minutes - laundry runs)without removing myself from the flow of family life. For example, I have a new morning routine that is all about single tasks. I move from one task to the next, in order, dull as can be, until the routine is completed. Sometimes I listen to music as backgroun. This gets me off to a great start. But there are times when I want/need to work without interruption and really must communicate this with my family, such as cooking. I think that I assumed there were more "shoulds" to all of this, but its rather subjective. For example, "If I'm a good and available wife/mother I should be chatting with and listening to everyone while cooking." And I'm sure that there are many mothers who do enjoy chatting while cooking. What actually works best for all of us is for me to focus on the food prep while others talk to each other. They have fun while I move things along. Then I give them my individed attention while we eat.

Some tasks I do best when I single task and add a background activity. I get a ton of laundry done while I also count my steps. I also enjoy praying my rosary while stepping. With my body busy my brain is less distracted. I chat with my teens while we do T-Tapp - and sometimes we listen to talk radio too.

As for when to give undivided attention, that's easy...or is it? I need to not answer a phone when I'm reading to my 4yo. I need to avoid the computer when I'm working with my teen on his essay. I need to watch my ballplayer and not use my Blackberry. I need to listen to my daughter first and not give into my son's bursting into the room with a question. I need to listen to my husband whenever...it trumps everything. I have pretty high goals in this category and fail miserably more often than I want .

Some tips:

Limit the number of tasks that I expect to do without interruption.

Do the tasks in one room and don't leave the room until the tasks are done.

Lump little, mundane tasks together and power through them.

I'm curious...

What tasks to you enjoy doing without interruption or background activity? What tasks to you like to combine with a background activity? How do you minimize negative impact on your family from any of these choices? Any related tips to share?

Love,


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Posted: April 22 2010 at 10:08am | IP Logged Quote CatholicMommy

I did something similar for a while and I really need to get back to it.

I would not answer the phone if I was in the middle of interacting with a person, whether a parent, a child, a neighbor, etc (I ran a family day care in my home at that time). I stopped taking the phone into the bathroom when I was in the shower. If we were outside, it would only be answered if we were all sitting and I knew I could give the person on the phone my complete attention.
(wow - those are all phone related, but what a HUGE difference just those things made! I was inspired by a post on Elizabeth's blog several years ago).

In addition, when it was read-aloud time, that's what we did, unless it was a blood/bones emergency.

Also, setting aside blocks of time to accomplish certain things - that way, children know that this time is for specific activities and they will have mom's 1-on1 attention in just a little while.

I'm not doing the in-home daycare and we got away from that (just being my son and myself). But now that we have two young girls and their father in our lives as well, it is much more at the forefront of my mind to ensure that each person gets at *least* 5 minutes of 100% focused attention every single day.

And then to apply that around - when it is time for certain activities, focus on those, because we know that the day will cycle back around to focus on the other needs of our lives.

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Posted: April 22 2010 at 10:59am | IP Logged Quote drmommy

I got a kick out of this, because as I get older (I am 46), I find that I cannot multi-task as well. When I am at work doing paperwork, my Dad or children interrupt me, then I lose the thinking or place where I was at! Noise seems to bother me more...and I crave quiet!

But, I still multitask, and then forget where I left off. I really enjoyed reading all the responses.

I think this is a sign for me to slow down...but I can't with working, children (4), older parent, and a special needs child! But, God does give us the graces to handle what we can when we need to, so I trust in Him.

Our priest told us once that he prays every day for the memory like/of Jesus (since He had such a great memory speaking to the priests in the temple when He was 12). I thought that was so neat and a wonderful idea.

I can fold laundry and talk or teach the children. Or dust. But, that is about it. Yes, I am getting old!

I try really hard to give my children total attention when I am home, but also to make sure that they don't think that the world revolves around them. So, it is a fine balance...

I wish I had more to contribute to this great topic! But, I am looking forward to reading more responses.
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Posted: April 23 2010 at 7:31am | IP Logged Quote Becky Parker

I've always thought my ds gets his ADHD tendencies honestly! I can be so scattered and forgetful. I have to write everything down or I don't remember.
Let me tell you, staying in one room until it's completely clean is torture for me. I feel like I have to leave occasionally to do something else, like start a load of laundry or unload the dishwasher, or ... check the 4Real board .
I wonder if there is a novena or prayer to help people like me stay on task until the task is complete? My ds and I could both use it!

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Posted: April 24 2010 at 2:45pm | IP Logged Quote MicheleQ

drmommy wrote:
I got a kick out of this, because as I get older (I am 46), I find that I cannot multi-task as well. When I am at work doing paperwork, my Dad or children interrupt me, then I lose the thinking or place where I was at! Noise seems to bother me more...and I crave quiet!

But, I still multitask, and then forget where I left off. I really enjoyed reading all the responses.


Wow, except for the age (almost 43) I could have written that word for word. I have a really hard time multi-tasking as I get older (I used to be great at it!) and noise . . oh my goodness, the noises really get to me.

Great discussion --looking forward to hearing more!

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Posted: April 26 2010 at 5:07pm | IP Logged Quote anitamarie

Angie Mc wrote:


What tasks to you enjoy doing without interruption or background activity? What tasks to you like to combine with a background activity? How do you minimize negative impact on your family from any of these choices? Any related tips to share?

Love,


Ummm pretty much everything. I used to think I should have been a cloistered nun, but now I think I should've been a hermit! (Although I only came to the Catholic Faith through my dh, so how that was supposed to work, I don't know.)

I do everything better without interruption. About the only background task that goes on around here is laundry. So, I guess I'm no help.

God Bless,

Anita
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