Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Angie Mc
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Posted: Dec 09 2008 at 3:55pm | IP Logged Quote Angie Mc
How do you serve your teen in a way the benefits both of you?

For the last month I've been straightening my one teen's room to include making their bed, putting their clothes away, and tidying their paperwork. Up until this time, I have leaned heavily in the direction of having children clean up after themselves and live with natural consequences that comes from either doing so or not. I also come from a long tradition of taking pride in being independent and taking on the role of adult asap which translates into taking on more and more responsibility as you grow older.

I'm not quite sure how I came to consider "back peddling" and doing for my teen what "the teen should do for his or herself." Nothing dramatic happened. I just remember seeing a kid struggling with doing it all. It also dawned on me that this kid was doing important work that I didn't do at that age. So I asked the teen, "Would it help if I picked up your room for awhile?" Much to my surprise, the response was "Yes!"

Now I'm going to get mushy on you...I love taking care of this child's room. I love making the bed...putting the clothes away...watering the plant...finding a lost item. I love the hug, the happy look, or the sigh of relief I receive from the child - my child who will be independent before the blink of an eye.

Since this has worked out so well, I'm wondering about other ways to serve teens. Any suggestions?

Love,



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Bookswithtea
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Posted: Dec 09 2008 at 4:57pm | IP Logged Quote Bookswithtea
Both dh and I have taken on ds's chores here and there when he had more to accomplish than hours in his day. We've never done it like you are doing it, consistently. Its more the noticing and just doing things to help him as long as he's being diligent to do what needs to be done. I also try to make sure that favorite jeans and t shirts are clean before social events, but that is hit or miss...a laundry queen I am not!

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guitarnan
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Posted: Dec 09 2008 at 5:54pm | IP Logged Quote guitarnan
Scout uniforms - I make sure they are clean and ready to go. Likewise with backpacking clothing - I wash all gross, muddy items right away so that ds can "be prepared" as his schedule permits.

One thing we're experiencing right now - as my junior-year ds tours colleges - is that he needs time to just say how he feels without being criticized. I listen and add mom-ly commentary without telling him he's off track or not thinking clearly. My ds is nervous about college and unhappy that we are starting this process in junior year (Mom wishes we had started LAST year!). He needs time and space to process information and to express ideas without feeling like we will tell him he's heading in a wrong direction.


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nissag
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Posted: Dec 09 2008 at 7:37pm | IP Logged Quote nissag
I haven't any input, but this has given me some food for thought. My teens are awesome - so responsible.

Blessings,

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