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teachingmyown
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Posted: April 17 2006 at 11:00am | IP Logged Quote teachingmyown

I am looking for a good book to read and discuss with my ten year old as we approach puberty. I have tried ignoring it hoping it won't happen that way, but I am afraid that isn't working!

I just want something that discusses the physical changes that she will experience, but not go into the "facts of life" just yet. A friend mentioned a book published by American Girl. I didn't write down the name and I am not sure if this friend and I would have the same taste and standards.

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Elizabeth
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Posted: April 17 2006 at 11:05am | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth

Molly,
Did you look at this thread Catholic books on "the talk"? I'm wondering if something there fits the bill or if you were looking for something different...

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teachingmyown
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Posted: April 17 2006 at 11:30am | IP Logged Quote teachingmyown

I have The Joyful Mysteries of Life. (It is in my basement which in my current state seems like a million miles away.) I will have to read through it again, but I don't think it is what I am looking for.

I am looking for something more detailed about the physical changes, i.e. what she will be feeling when she starts developing, what to expect, what emotions she may go through etc. The American Girl book apparently talks about everything from menstruation to wearing deodorant and showering, etc. I don't want something too modern or feminististic, just something that we can read together and that she can refer to on her own to help her through this transition.

I had planned to use Joyful Mysteries of Life for the talk, but I wanted to start with this approach. Does that make sense?

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Elizabeth
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Posted: April 17 2006 at 12:00pm | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth

teachingmyown wrote:

I had planned to use Joyful Mysteries of Life for the talk, but I wanted to start with this approach. Does that make sense?

It does and tht's why I asked about that thread, because I had the sense that it wasn't exactly what you were looking for. I've not much to offer here, I'm afraid. But i am interested in replies you get.

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Karen E.
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Posted: April 17 2006 at 2:48pm | IP Logged Quote Karen E.

teachingmyown wrote:
A friend mentioned a book published by American Girl. I didn't write down the name and I am not sure if this friend and I would have the same taste and standards.


Molly,

Parts of the AG book are good, other parts, not so good. It's called The Care and Keeping of You. Our preferred method for using such books is The Paper Clip Method. We paper clip together the sections that the girls shouldn't/don't-want-to-have-to see.

Examples:

My eldest didn't really even want to know what tampons were, much less contemplate using one (which is fine with me!) but the AG book shows (in a graphic illustration) how to insert one. We paper clipped.

There's a section on eating disorders, which freaked my child out. We paper clipped.

My then-8 yo was scandalized that a book had a drawing of a girl without a shirt on ... when I explained that it was her older sister's book about the stages a girl's body goes through as she grows into a woman, she understood. It was actually a great conversation about modesty, what's appropriate in books, what must be kept out of Daddy's site, etc. But, they were also scandalized that a man had illustrated the book.

The Paper Clip seems to work for us, because my highly visual kids don't want to see things that they know/think will bother them. I've actually had them come to me with a book, asking me to paperclip a certain section so that they won't accidentally see something disturbing (I'm thinking of some of the "Welcome to So-and-So's World" American Girl books, with photos of smallpox victims, etc.)

You could always preview the book, and use parts of it together, rather than allow her to have free access to it. My daughter liked the parts about hygiene, hair care, exercise, changes in her emotions, and things like that.

Hope this helps a little.

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teachingmyown
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Posted: April 22 2006 at 9:15pm | IP Logged Quote teachingmyown

Karen,
I checked the AG book out of the library and after my initial reaction of "Ugh! Do we have to go through with this?!" I was really pretty impressed with it. It certainly isn't perfect, like you said, but I think it does a good job communicating the facts and emotions involoved with puberty without pushing any agenda or going too far into detail.

I gave it to my daughter this evening with a little talk to preface it. She seemed really interested in it and admitted that she thinks there are already some changes going on.

I am not a big talker or good communicator, especially with things like this. So I am grateful to have something to help the conversation along and something for her to turn to again when she is unsure of something.

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Karen E.
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Posted: April 23 2006 at 11:49am | IP Logged Quote Karen E.

teachingmyown wrote:
Karen,
I checked the AG book out of the library and after my initial reaction of "Ugh! Do we have to go through with this?!" I was really pretty impressed with it.
------
I am not a big talker or good communicator, especially with things like this. So I am grateful to have something to help the conversation along and something for her to turn to again when she is unsure of something.


I know what you mean, on all counts. I actually do talk with mine a lot about this stuff, and we're pretty open about it, but still, so many things can fall through the cracks. I've been amazed at the number of times my oldest will tell me, "Well, my AG book said," and inside, I'm thinking, "Well, I told you that about 107 times, but I guess it didn't stick until you read about it??"

Anyway, I do think these kinds of books, combined with open communication, can be of real benefit. Hope it works out at your house!

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Posted: April 23 2006 at 1:29pm | IP Logged Quote marihalojen

I thought I'd mention that there is a companion journal to the AG book that I gave to my daughter. The most impressive part of it was the chart for tracking your period, she was amazed that there was a pattern. I have to say that the chart was about the only part she utilized consistantly. The rest of the book was along the lines of draw yourself with your ideal hairstyle or take a quiz to find out what foods you need to eat more of...There was a bit more talk of feelings which I felt was not a bad thing at all since this age girl can be very moody. But we tracked that on a seperate calendar and again a pattern emerged and seeing that her feelings were connected to her body was helpful.

I really like that both of these books have so much good information without diving into the topic of s*x. It is really hard to find a book on puberty without that added in. The excerpt in Amazon really portrays the book well. Half a dozen or so of the little "quiz" pages are there for you to check out.

The Care and Keeping of Me: The Body Book Journal

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