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10 Bright Stars
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| Posted: Oct 31 2011 at 4:41pm | IP Logged
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This is my 13th year of homeschooling since I did begin homeschooling my almost 17 year old at 3. (I was one of those eager beavers who was chomping at the bit to start. He could read, to a point, by age 3.5!) Anyway, after growing up through so many stages with my oldest sons, enduring grueling morning sickness that lasts all 9 months ALL day and evening, adding in twins full of energy, and my seemingly, dwindling capacity to keep up with it all physically anymore now that I am 41 and "expanding" shall we say for some odd reason.....you get the picture, how do we plan a day NOW.
I recently was reading an article that was probably written mid-nineties when I was just a new mom and having a ball with babies. She was discussing how when we first started homeschooling and were young, wet behind the ears, and fresh faced, things were a little more easy, our energy reserves bounced back better after sleepless nights or each pregnancy, but now that she as older, things didn't happen that way. It is humbling to have had to delegate most of the laundry to my 10 year old daughter. (Who does an excellent job I must add.) I feel bad that I cannot take the nature walks or even really exercise like I would like to due to this or that injury every time I try to do the most simple of out and abouts in the yard!
Also, I feel as if there is SO MUCH to do at any given moment, that coupled with so many varied stages and ages, which I have asked about before, and my growing conviction that I am a MOM first and a TEACHER second, is all just adding up to me feeling confused, scattered and lacking a clear vision for this school year so far. Did I mention my 8 month old is almost, literally, attached to me ALL DAY LONG! Which I love, and don't want to feel guilty about missing as I did the twins who I felt I had to shoo away a lot in their younger days due to their high energy levels and the kids high distractibility levels.
I think I "want it all" too. I want to be CM. I want to be scholastic. I want a touch of classical and a pinch of nature studies. I want to be able to read to my kids, but no time or too many want different things which I cannot do all at once. I want to learn to crochet so I can teach the girls, but is that a good investment in time. What will the others do while I MAKE the investment in time. It seems as if all of the things that I dreamed of when I thought about homeschooling or initially read about it, is not what I actually do. We DO do alot of "schoolish" work, at least the middles up. I am having a hard time getting my bearings again with what to do with the younger learners, and how to incorporate them into my day and what to do with the toddler and baby and 4 year old while I do schoolish things with the twins and 3rd grader. I feel pulled apart all day, OR, I just stand there, paralyzed in indecision, which can't be good. Or, I self-soothe and just tell myself, "Well, prayer first, then meals and hygiene are the next most important things, and then time to just "be" and be availible." Excuses??? I also seem to spend an inordinate amount of time cleaning my kitchen or doing dishes, only to have to re-do them again, seemingly, in just an hour or so! I don't MIND doing dishes, but it seems to take forever!
How to cut out the fat? How to trim up the day? I want to enjoy the littles, but often, that just ends up with me nursing the baby and they run around playing and my husband wants their day more "structured" and wants me to "train them in my work" and "raise them" and "not worrying about accmmplishing getting the house clean or the laundry DONE, just focus on teaching them how to fold clothes or this or that." Sounds easy, but it is hit or miss. The baby has been a little bit of the juggle since he is a screamer unless I am holding him, which he is getting MUCH BETTER about, but closing in on 42, I don't want to miss a moment of him either!!
Thoughts?? No, I can't afford counseling.  Next suggestion?? TOO many decisions!
My husband is taking on a lot by helping the older boys out with their school in the evenings. I appreciate this but this did add to my feeling lost since I have "grown up" with them so to speak and feel at home helping out with a paper or going over history with them on a higher level now. I miss that, but the youngers just really need me more now. My 12 year old son is VERY DIFFICULT to say the least this year. No amount of threats, punishments, encourangements, etc seem to make him want to do his work this year! That alone ius causing a lot of stress. IF I sit RIGHT next to him and literally walk him through a math problem, he is all smiles and whistles. But, if I am changing a diaper, making lunch, nursing etc. he leaves the table or just sits there and stares. I tell him to "get going", or "What are you working on now? Do you need help in some way? " etc. etc. It is causing a lot of stress between us.
Anyway, I feel also as if I am not getting as much actual school done with my group of students which would be the 3rd grader down. (Husband, again, is having the olders be as independant as possible during the day and then he does school with them in the evenings. They seem to be doing well.) So, it sounds like a win-win situation, but I feel more lost than ever??? 
__________________
Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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10 Bright Stars
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Joined: Nov 16 2006
Location: Virginia
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Posts: 728
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| Posted: Oct 31 2011 at 4:45pm | IP Logged
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sorry for the typos! This "new" lapbook has bad keys that have to be punched to work correctly! 
__________________
Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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JodieLyn
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Joined: Sept 06 2006
Location: Oregon
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| Posted: Oct 31 2011 at 5:13pm | IP Logged
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Got me.. I'm horrible at planning.. but there's options for carrying baby on your back and such so that you're wearing the baby but have hands free. And that would help.
You might also consider some sort of exercise program that is designed for someone that needs to be more careful when starting.. I know t-tapp has one.. I haven't used it but I've heard good things about it. And there's got to be more out there.
Also good nutrition and yes especially with the babies.. I would be taking prenatals (also very good for post partum particularly when nursing) and extra vit B and vit D.
That can be a big thing.. you may not realize how much of your brain fog is a lack of something rather than something to blame on age along.
Oh goodness.. wait a minute.. have you had your thyroid checked? unexplained weight gain and the brain fog and lack of energy are all symptoms of hypothyroidism. It would definately be worth checking out. If you can't get into the doctor right away you might try taking your basal body temperature like for NFP.. a consistently low temp is a very good indicator of low thyroid.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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10 Bright Stars
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Joined: Nov 16 2006
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| Posted: Oct 31 2011 at 7:55pm | IP Logged
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I DO have thyroid issues. Perhaps I should get them checked into again, and yes, my basal temp is usually like 96 or 97* !!! Whenever I go though, they just tell me, "You are weird. You're numbers don't make sense but they are o.k. "for you"." I don't know what that is all about because I just keep gaining and gaining, at a pretty amazing rate, and I am not really eating at an amazing rate per se. (Just normal. Probably DO eat too much, but I am nursing and try to walk every other day or so, and also, have been trying to diet!!!) Seems odd to me. Also, tonight I noticed my stomach is VERY distended. Now, I do not think I am pregnant or anything as I have no symptoms etc. so why the crazy 6-7 month pregnant belly???? (I have had twins and I think they split my stomach muscles, but I look strange!!!!!) Oh well. I am seeing a ob soon just to talk about things, so maybe she can help with the thyroid and the belly!!! ) If I am taking a normal pre-natal for nursing, what is the recommended amount of Vit D and B I can take on top of that? I have a D Plus Calcium vitamin that I recently purchased. Perhaps I should add that in too? I am so bad about my vitamins, I will admit!!  Thanks for the advice!!
__________________
Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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10 Bright Stars
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Joined: Nov 16 2006
Location: Virginia
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| Posted: Oct 31 2011 at 7:57pm | IP Logged
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Oh, and the reason I do not carry baby on the back is 1. a back problem, and 2. a problem I have due to my last birth that is not helped by baby wearing. I used to wear my babies in backpacks all the time when I was "younger", but I cannot anymore for extended periods of time, which is a true bummer. Good idea normally though! 
__________________
Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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Kathryn
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| Posted: Nov 01 2011 at 3:52pm | IP Logged
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I think there was a time when it was good to have extended family living together or at least close by. I know my parents and in-laws both grew up with grandparents in their homes. Fortunately my mom comes on Friday to help but I only have 4 kids. Not saying you should move more people in but just knowing you can't do it all and aren't expected to do it all...alone (well, with DH)...with 10 kids is a start to finding out where to go. May be...
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Kathryn in TX
(dd 16, ds 15, dd 8, dd 5)
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mamaslearning
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| Posted: Nov 01 2011 at 4:07pm | IP Logged
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Watching with  . It's hard when there are so many choices and every choice is the best method/book/style/choice ever!
I'm finding my littles one are not getting the Montessori style activites I provided with the older two, so I spent time today requesting books and bookmarking sites for putting together activity bags/boxes and other learning centers.
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Lara
DD 11, DS 8, DS 6, DS 4
St. Francis de Sales Homeschool
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Erin
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| Posted: Nov 01 2011 at 8:45pm | IP Logged
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Kim
I so understand what you are saying. I also started out with such enthusiasm, continuing along well (always challenges along the way of course but..), once the children's ages started spreading apart, we couldn't do everything together and I really grieved for a long time.
Before I knew it I woke up and the years had slipped by, I'm really hanging on to my last two's baby years, savouring this time. Yes I am a mum first, I want to focus on that, but also I desire to be a good teacher. "How to be all things to all men?" At times I felt like a hamster on a treadmill.
Our older children seemed to get such a rich education and our middles and littles not so much. True they do learn lots from siblings but still....
It is wonderful that your husband is stepping in, although I do understand your feelings. I delegated my teens writing to a local nun, and found it so hard to not 'be there', to know exactly what they learnt when I had been 'the one' for so many years. The teens aren't too forthcoming either, "How was writing club today?"
" Good", arggh.
As you ask for suggestions
Continue to delegate your older boys to Dad. Teen boys are far more responsive to Dad anyhow. It is time and they will thrive with more independent work. Yes it is hard to let go but do, grieve only a little, be lost for only a little, because then it is time for the fun to begin.
Time to re-discover your love of learning with your middles and littles. You will now have time to re-visit some of your old favourite nature haunts, re-discover arts and crafts, read those books a second or third time around. Re-discover that slower pace, the reason you fell in love with motherhood and home education in the first place. 
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Erin
Faith Filled Days
Seven Little Australians
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10 Bright Stars
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| Posted: Nov 01 2011 at 9:13pm | IP Logged
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Thanks, Erin. That is exactly what I needed to hear. It IS grieving I think. Grieving for what is lost, grieving for the "dreams" that are lost in the responsibilites and the realities of running a large family. (i.e. shopping for food for so many, laundry.. etc. Happy to do all that, but it takes time.) Sad to lose touch with the olders and they are, well, about to fly the nest! So, yes, a very sweet reply and will try to focus on rekindling the flame!
__________________
Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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anitamarie
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| Posted: Nov 01 2011 at 9:39pm | IP Logged
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Kim:
Since the boys are doing some of their schoolwork with their Dad in the evenings, do they have a little time in the day to do some of the laundry, the food shopping, cleaning, cooking, helping out with the littles? (If you taught them.) Do they do that already? These are great skills for them to learn if they haven't already. Your future daughters-in-law will thank you! . Good luck and blessings to you!
Anita
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Erica Sanchez
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| Posted: Nov 02 2011 at 1:19am | IP Logged
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Kim,
Quick reply:
Managers of Their Chores
and
Planning Your Charlotte Mason Education
These two resources are saving me!! They have both taken me a bit of time to implement (I'm still fine-tuning the planning), but I am very, very pleased with both.
I will try to come back tomorrow and share more.
__________________
Have a beautiful and fun day!
Erica in San Diego
(dh)Cash, Emily, Grace, Nicholas, Isabella, Annie, Luke, Max, Peter, 2 little souls ++, and sweet Rose who is legally ours!
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4Real Forums : Planning and Ordering our Days
Topic: scheduling for the schedule hopeless
