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Angel
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| Posted: Feb 08 2011 at 10:53am | IP Logged
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It has been a really tough year for us, and I feel like I am barely hanging on -- not really drowning, but like any little nudge might send me under. Those of you with large families probably know what I mean.
I'd like to start getting a handle on things again, but I'm still up with the baby between 3 and 5 times a night. Nap schedules are erratic. We're in the first phases of a special diet (grain-free) and I feel like I am always in the kitchen, to the detriment of other necessary chores (like laundry). *But* I am feeling a lot better, too! So I'm determined to keep going with the diet.
I wonder how you deal with situations like this -- when you're beginning to feel like you can start digging out, but there's a lot to shovel! Do you make yourself get up really early even if you're not getting any sleep? Where would you start?
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Angela
Mom to 9, 7 boys and 2 girls
Three Plus Two
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stellamaris
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| Posted: Feb 08 2011 at 12:36pm | IP Logged
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Angela,  .
I have been in a similar place with a long chronic health problem and many children at home...it's tough.
I have had to really narrow down my goals. This is what I have come to (God is FIRST FIRST...but here I'm talking about the practical things that make up every day)
1. First priority: HEALTH. If you are ill, you simply can't do everything required in a large family. You won't have the energy or stamina. So, I would DEFINITELY not cut your sleep short.
Focus on:
--getting 8 hrs. of sleep a night, or add in a nap every day or two to "catch up".
--drink half your weight in ounces of water everyday (so, if you weigh 140, drink 70 oz.)
--exercise mildly (too much is too hard on a compromised system)...maybe a short walk or just a little stretching and calisthenics to get the body moving
--eat as regularly as possible; include some protein at each meal; it sounds like you are really working on this one
2. Second Priority: ORDER (sort of...  ) If it is at all possible, get volunteer or hired help with cleaning and laundry. This will free you up to "shovel out" or even just nap. If you can't find any outside help with these chores, delegate them to your children.
Personally, I can't peacefully school when everything is a disaster physically in the house and there are piles of laundry everywhere.
Don't worry about school work while you get chores taught and a chore schedule set up. Just have them read every day and maybe do a page of math, so they don't forget what they already know.
3. Priority three: BASIC SCHOOLING. Focus on Religion, Reading, Writing, and Math. Anything else is gravy. Religion is best lived. Pray together as a family, read and discuss the Gospel of the day, celebrate a saint's feast day if you feel you can, at least by saying a short prayer. Keep it simple! You can cover a lot of history and science by choosing reading books on these topics, so don't just let the children read what they like, give them choices from titles you pre-select for variety.
In writing, have a few days a week that you do something. Letters, writing a blog, copying a passage, or for little guys some handwriting work.
It is OK to take a little time for healing and to re-establish order. Sometimes over the course of many years that is necessary. Don't be too hard on yourself about it.
It sounds as if you are on the road to recovery. Now you will need to exercise the virtue of patience (so easy to say, so tough to do!) It takes quite a long time to get things back to a comfort level after an extended time of stress or illness.
Hope something here helps, and I will pray for you with great empathy, Angela.
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In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to  dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Feb 08 2011 at 2:15pm | IP Logged
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whatever else you do DO NOT OVERDO.. if you knock yourself out in a big 1 or 2 day clearing things out.. you're liable to knock yourself down for some recovery days after that and it'll just pile back up again.
add in smaller amounts of time to do something.. like.. doing an extra 15 minutes of decluttering a day.. it's not enough to lose a lot of sleep to get.. it isn't a huge burden on top of what else you're doing and you'll feel like you are working on digging out.
how old is the baby? babies change so very fast.. that you may well be getting more sleep before very long at all and that will make a huge difference too.
I think of it like recovering from a serious illness.. you get well enough to notice all the *stuff* but if you try and do all the stuff RIGHT THEN, you'll end up flat on your back again.. instead of using that time wisely and finishing recovery and working up to more work getting done.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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Donna Marie
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| Posted: Feb 08 2011 at 4:27pm | IP Logged
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hey Angela, are you doing GAPS?
We will be...all except nursing baby and dad.
You may find that the behavior of the kids improves a bit. I was told that by a friend. So I am going to hang on to that when I have more work to do in the kitchen. Keep things really simple! I will keep you all in our prayers!!
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Donna Marie from NJ
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Finding Elegant Simplicity
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Angel
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| Posted: Feb 08 2011 at 8:20pm | IP Logged
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Donna Marie wrote:
hey Angela, are you doing GAPS?
We will be...all except nursing baby and dad.
You may find that the behavior of the kids improves a bit. I was told that by a friend. So I am going to hang on to that when I have more work to do in the kitchen. |
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Yes, we are doing GAPS, Donna Marie - at least trying! I came out of my last C-section with major candida problems, some of which I didn't even know were related! (PPD was apparently one of them.) I have to tell you, I feel SO much better... and my dh has had far fewer migraines... but if I fall down on the kitchen routine, there's no convenience to save us - no spaghetti anymore! We had pizza over the weekend and it made me (and some of my kids) feel  .
I subscribed to this grain-free meal planning service on a monthly basis just until I figure out what the heck we're supposed to eat. It's been helpful, although I still can't use it without tweaking. (It's designed for a family of 4, so if I used it as written I would be buying a truly ENORMOUS amount of eggs and ground beef every week. She's really put a lot of work into it, though, and the recipes have been good.)
Anyway, I feel like I'm coming out of a fog. I think it's a lot like what Jodie said about getting over an illness and noticing how much needs to be done. It's just that I didn't know I was that sick!
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Angela
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Three Plus Two
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Donna Marie
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| Posted: Feb 08 2011 at 8:34pm | IP Logged
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I know there are some things that you can make ahead...maybe freeze some "convenience food" by adding to it a bit at a time?
I am awaiting my book and it should be here soon but boy! Do I have to start. My boys need it BAD. Without knowing it, i followed this kind of diet last year for them and they felt GREAT. Otherwise they get confused...allergy ridden and put weight on without trying. If you make fermented veggies in bulk it is easier too.
I get my eggs right now from the farmers auction market. I can get 30 doz eggs at around 1.35/doz. and keep it in the mud room as it stays cold enough there for now. That helps with the bulk eggs until my farmer is producing more again.
I make yogurt and buttermilk by the gallon right in the glass jar it comes in. I keep bone broths going all the time on the back burner of the stove. I start them at night. It is easier to do little things after the kids go to bed. I start my tea and do as much as I can. By the time it is ready, i leave the kitchen.
I am learning slowly. None of my weight wants to come off so bye bye wheat for a long while. Too bad I like it so much. My baby is now 5 mos. time flies! I want to feel stronger so that is my goal!
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Donna Marie from NJ
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Finding Elegant Simplicity
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amyable
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| Posted: Feb 09 2011 at 7:46am | IP Logged
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I have absolutely no advice, but I wanted to send my and prayers.
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Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of 
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Angel
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| Posted: Feb 09 2011 at 9:08am | IP Logged
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Donna Marie wrote:
I keep bone broths going all the time on the back burner of the stove. I start them at night. It is easier to do little things after the kids go to bed. I start my tea and do as much as I can. By the time it is ready, i leave the kitchen.
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This sounds like a good idea. When I could put the baby down at night, I would come in and start the dishwasher and clean up a bit before I crashed. But now we are going through a teething marathon and I can't put him down unless I am right beside him. (He's nearly 8 mos, btw.)
If I could just get the kitchen and laundry tamed a bit -- get into some kind of routine -- I think I would feel a little less like walking a tight rope. I got Large Family Logistics for Christmas. I've been reading it slowly because it's too big to read while I nurse! Anyway, I like the theory of having a Laundry Day, a Kitchen Day, etc., but I don't seem to be able to make it work much in practice at this stage.
I think the hardest thing about GAPS (aside from learning all new eating habits) is keeping the kitchen clean! The dishwasher in this house is small. We run it 3 times a day, but the pots and pans can become a little mountainous. I'm also trying to figure out where to put the dehydrator, all the soaking nuts, kefir, veggies, etc...
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Angela
Mom to 9, 7 boys and 2 girls
Three Plus Two
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stellamaris
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| Posted: Feb 09 2011 at 9:44am | IP Logged
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Angel, I looked at the sample pages at the grain-free planning service. She has some great ideas, but frankly I think there is no way I could do as much cooking every day as she seems to do.
This diet is very similar to the Nourishing Traditions diet I used so successfully a little over a year ago. In fact, we felt SO good on this eating plan...I stopped following it when we moved and a lot of my kitchen supplies stayed at our VA house. I need to get some duplicates and get started again! The cooking patterns look almost identical. Here's what helped me:
1. Like Donna, I start a LARGE pot of broth at night. Sometimes I keep it simmering away for 24 hours, or even more for beef broth. I start the broth soups after we have a roasted chicken or beef dinner, so the bones, the pan drippings, any appropriate leftover vegies can just get tossed in. This helps with dinner clean-up, too. I freeze the broth in 1-qt containers. My favorites are these glasslock containers. They come in lots of sizes, stack nicely, seal tightly, and are easy to thaw in the frig or microwave. Plus, they are glass. I am slowly collecting them!
2. I soak and dry a LOT of nuts at once. A variety! You can freeze these, or they also keep a long time in quart glass mason jars in the frig.
3. Personally, I used to make yogurt but now I buy it. You just can't do it all from scratch all the time.
4. I make MANY pancakes at once on a weekend and freeze them individually on a baking sheet, then store them in ziploc bags or wrapped in foil. I put one meal's worth of pancakes in each bag (or foil packet). They thaw easily and really make mornings easier. This is something older children can do to help out.
5. For dinner, I relied on steamed vegies, salads, yogurt, and some roasted meat (turkey is cheap!). Then I had leftover meat for lunches and to add to soup, plus bones for stock! I have never been able to cook casserole type dishes on a regular basis, way to time-consuming.
6. I relied heavily on soups. I used the stock, coconut milk, and whatever leftovers I had on hand.
7. Another easy and well-received option is frittata. Basically scrambled eggs. Saute some onions in a large, oven-proof frying pan. Add scrambled eggs with whatever herbs, diced vegies, grated cheeses, sour cream, etc. you have on hand. Pour in pan. Now scramble or for a more "quiche" texture, bake at 350 for about 30 min or a little longer if you used lots of eggs.
8. If you have room in your frig, make double or triple batches of fermented vegetables. They improve as they age and are great to have on hand. In fact, with this eating plan, I think a second refrigerator is almost a must.
I hope some of these ideas streamline your cooking! It's a great way to eat, but it is a challenge to do it consistently.
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In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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Erin
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| Posted: Feb 09 2011 at 2:17pm | IP Logged
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Angela
You've had such a tough year
Is there any chance your older two could take over the laundry? I realise maybe not.
Could you put up a shelf to put your dehydrator on? I think the pictures of your kitchen indicate it is fairly small? So much harder to function, I know.
The diet improvements are so worth it (we've fallen off this week due to birthdays and are feeling the effects) but they are time consuming. It does mean being so much more organised. I started delegating more to the children they were more capable than I was expecting, and assigned a kitchen helper to help me in the kitchen too. But I have more older ones than you, so how I work it won't necessarily work for you
But you are right you do feel so much better, if you take it slow though, as you improve you will gain more energy.
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Erin
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4Real Forums : Planning and Ordering our Days
Topic: getting a grip
