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countrymom
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| Posted: July 09 2014 at 2:18pm | IP Logged
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I am seriously thinking on enrolling my son this year. I have just about had it with high school, and husband wont OK boarding school. I refuse public school. I cant grade, and I have so many littles, I cant keep up with the big one.
I have a friend who has used it and loved it for some of her children. I feel so overwhelmed and just hate the thought of messing up my childs education further. I worry about his critical thinking skills. I also know I cant grade...cant give report cards....I just need someone else to do it for me.
We cant afford it, but I will just have to do it on faith that God will take care of our $$, and we wont miss not having a savings account 
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SeaStar
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| Posted: July 09 2014 at 2:59pm | IP Logged
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It is so hard to know what is best at times, and life can easily feel overwhelming, especially when you are trying to think and plan and consider what is the right thing for each child.
I will pray for for your son and your family!
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
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LLMom
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I am so sorry you are struggling. I have been there too. Please do whatever you need to do and especially take care of yourself. It's not good when mom crashes and burns. (I know  )
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Lisa
For veteran & former homeschool moms
homeschooling ideas
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JodieLyn
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Welcome Countrymom!!
High school can be difficult but there's a lot more options than just putting them into a school.
For instance since you mention the money AND that you're not comfortable with grading.
What about just enrolling him in an online writing class. You can get math programs on the computer that handle the correcting and grading and lectures. Grammar books that give you the answers. History can be done with discussion or a program that comes with the answers to set questions, etc.
It may take a bit more time to set up but it could save you a good chunk of money even if it's not as cheap as programs that you handle all the grading and such yourself.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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SallyT
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| Posted: July 10 2014 at 12:36pm | IP Logged
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True what Jodie says!
I know that another member here has had some experience with the old Regina Coeli Academy, which I believe has now become Fisher-More? It is worth hearing what her family's experience was with an online learning format. In this thread she lays out some very clear pros and cons to the program, at least as it was set up when her child was enrolled.
It is worth considering that for all the advantages of an online program there are some serious potential pitfalls, and having someone else accountable for your child does not relieve you of having to oversee them. In some ways, you as parent need to be more vigilant. You also have to consider that there is no real way for an online teacher to keep your child accountable, day by day -- you're still the person who is present for your child, and the teacher is counting on you to make sure that assigned work gets done.
Full disclosure: I'll be teaching for the Homeschool Connections program, beginning this fall (one poetry class in the fall and another in the spring). It's a thoroughly Catholic program with a huge variety of high-quality core and elective high-school-level courses. It's a la carte -- that is, it's not a school where you enroll for a whole program. Teachers do grade work and give a grade at the end, but it's the parent's responsibility to record those grades and keep up with them. Prices for courses vary, depending on many factors, including the length of the course (some are full-semester or even full-year, while others are shorter seminar-type classes). It's a really impressive program with a lot to offer -- which I thought long before I applied to work for them!
Still, I know from talking to other teachers that one concern from our end is that these invisible students of ours are just kind of out there in the ether -- we don't know what they're doing, really, even while class is going on, because we can't see them. It's very hard to know who's on task and who isn't. We can avoid some problems by, for example, choosing not to set up a private chat feature for our classes, and we can obviously teach our subjects with authority and grade what work gets turned in. But in many ways I think we're far more limited than standard classroom teachers are because we don't have a face-to-face relationship with our students, and therefore there's a limit to the amount of burden we can take off parents' shoulders. Classroom teachers can, and frequently do, function as in loco parentis. I'm not so sure that online teachers can truly do that.
Does that make sense? I think online learning is a great thing, or I wouldn't be a part of it. I'm very excited to meet my new students in the fall and share something I love with them. But I do think that any parent signing up for online courses needs to be aware of the tradeoffs: life may get easier in some respects, but the need to be involved in your student's schoolwork still exists (and with someone else's deadlines!).
Re grades: I have actually had my high-schoolers grade themselves. They're generally harder on themselves than I would be. I don't do this all the time, but I have done it for subjects like math, where tests had clear answer keys. My experience has been that making it *their* education, for which *they* are chiefly responsible, is very motivating. Thus far we haven't had any problem with cheating.
We have also outsourced a good number of subjects via co-ops and other classes. I don't know how old your son is, but generally a kid who is 16 or a junior is eligible for dual-enrollment credit via community college classes. These are usually (though not absolutely always) an affordable option.
Just some food for thought, anyway.
Sally
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MaryM
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| Posted: July 10 2014 at 2:57pm | IP Logged
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Very wise thoughts and considerations, Sally.
SallyT wrote:
| Full disclosure: I'll be teaching for the Homeschool Connections program, beginning this fall (one poetry class in the fall and another in the spring). |
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That is awesome! I want to take that class...  Maureeen has certainly tapped into a talented resource. 
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Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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SallyT
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| Posted: July 10 2014 at 3:08pm | IP Logged
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Well, this is homeschooling. We can call you a 9th-12th grader, can't we?
:)
Sally
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countrymom
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| Posted: July 10 2014 at 7:20pm | IP Logged
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The link to the other post was good for me to read. There are problems with everything! My son has already had some online troubles. I thought that getting a computer that only allowed the school site would be the answer. Maybe they have changed things, I will have to contact FM.
He really needs help with math. We have tried TT and Saxon teacher, but he needs someone who he can ask questions. I am bad with math and dh does not help with the schooling.
I worry about enrolling him in the community college because of some of the same issues the mom talks about on the link given above. You never know who he is chatting with there, who has an I phone full of filth, if he is actually going to the classes ect. I also heard a friend whos son went to community college, and it was a big goof off, and the minute the other young men heard he was homeschooled he really got it.
We live rurally, so our options are not as plentiful as city folk.
I just want him to love his faith, be a good dad and to be able to think for himself. I have messed up so much with this child. (my oldest...my "experiment!") and I just want to do the right thing by him with our last years together.
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brabec7
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He really needs help with math. We have tried TT and Saxon teacher, but he needs someone who he can ask questions. I am bad with math and dh does not help with the schooling.
You are in my prayers!
We have used Veritas Scholars for on - line math instruction. It is not a Catholic institution but we have not had any issues. Our experience has been that the instructors are willing to help beyond class time. The instruction is very in depth. The issues that kids face when learning the parameters of computer use requires supervision even when in class. As far as the other issues, we see computers as a tool for learning not socializing. So access is limited to class time. No personal emails and no FaceBook. All three computers are locked with passwords that require a parent. It requires extra work on our part. Net Nanny keeps out all filth. I digress...
Just an option to look into...maybe?
Blessings,
Lisa
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SallyT
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| Posted: July 10 2014 at 8:12pm | IP Logged
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You might check out Homeschool Connections' math offerings for sure. And there's a whole slew of high-school writing classes . . . history . . . all kinds of things. A full online school might be what you need, but it's always good to know that you have other options that allow you to pick and choose.
My takeaway from Elizabeth's experience is: NO CHAT! EVER! (seriously, I had the option to add a chat room to my classes, and I thought, "Uh, no.")
As far as on-campus experiences go, a lot depends on the culture of the community college. We have friends whose kids attend our local one (we live in a rural county-seat town, so options here are limited for sure -- the CC is actually right across the street from our house) and have had pretty decent experiences. So many people are older, non-traditional students, or are on one career track or another that -- from my secondhand observation -- they're not really interested in goofing around or kicking up trouble, and a lot of people just keep themselves to themselves. This can vary, depending on where you are, but the kids we know who go this route have really just done their class work and not socialized much with other people on campus (or the other people with them).
As far as going to class goes -- if you don't go to class, you typically fail, which is not a life lesson anyone wants their kid to learn, especially when money is on the line, but it's not a bad lesson for someone who has to learn things the hard way . . . And unless someone is just completely unmotivated and doesn't care if they fail, going to class is kind of self-enforcing, in that confronted with a serious sink-or-swim situation, most people will choose to swim. For a boy, especially, having to be responsible without mom's hands-on direction can also be a big deal in terms of self-motivation.
Just stuff to chew on, really. You're right that there is no one perfect solution, and it can be hard to figure out the right balance for a young man who may want more autonomy than is really appropriate for his maturity level. There are many good resources out there, though, so please be encouraged.
Sally
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SallyT
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Lisa has a good point about setting up computers with strict, password-protected parental controls. Both Mac and PC have some level of controls built in -- on our family PC we have an "approved" list of websites in the kids' accounts, and everything else is blocked. It's very easy to customize each child's account in terms of strictness.
Sally
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Angie Mc
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~~~~waving to you countrymom 
I'm super glad you asked for help and I know that you can trust the experience and kindness of this community to help you sort through this big challenge. And it is BIG! Teens are BIG!
My specialty is to help mothers to ditch the "mother blame", deal with today in a humane and reasonable fashion, and not get too far ahead of themselves.
countrymom wrote:
| I feel so overwhelmed and just hate the thought of messing up my childs education further. |
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Here are some questions to ask yourself. What makes you think that you messed up your child's education? What makes you think that the pros of what you have done don't outweigh cons? Have you considered that other people are involved in the responsibility of homeschooling to include your son, husband, community?
My best guess is that you are good enough. Way good enough. Like super-duper good enough! If you weren't, you wouldn't be here asking for help. What would your day look like if you could convince yourself that you have done a good enough job for this son to this point? No really, try it! Stop reading this comment, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and consider all the things you have done right...like give this son a life for him to live Don't buy the lie of perfection. Now, you may need to do this exercise a lot at first, but I'm asking you to consider this...
Every time you are tempted to go to the past and blame yourself, don't. Don't do it. It gets you and your family nowhere. And you want to get to heaven, right? Right!
countrymom wrote:
| I just want him to love his faith, be a good dad and to be able to think for himself. I have messed up so much with this child. (my oldest...my "experiment!") and I just want to do the right thing by him with our last years together. |
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So, no more back-looking, self-blame, OK?
OK. To today. The present. What if the whole family came together to see this as a normal transition of a boy growing into a man...a son transitioning from being in the hub of the family to the wheel of his adulthood. Couldn't this reframing of the situation help to better identify your specific challenges *right now*? You have mentioned that he needs more teaching and accountability for his schoolwork than you can manage and that he has difficulties managing himself online. Here's a past post that addresses both to give you some ideas: How much do you teach?
You also allude to your son being unpleasant to be around. You don't go into specifics about his behaviors at home but they probably range from sulking to outbursts to mature moments to immature moments to meltdowns to distraction to blame...
Now I'm asking you to consider if anyone around you is directly or passively blaming you. Here's an example of a mom who was being blamed by her son, How does a homeschool mom answer this? Again, the theme is to not waste time in the past blaming but to help your son to take responsibility for his life.
I think that most parents, especially homeschooling parents, underestimate the power of the transition from youth to adult. I say "especially homeschooling parents" because there seems to be a belief that if you just raise them right then there will be no transition? Ummm there will be no pain in the transition? Ummmm that teens will just somehow be responsible and reasonable? Ummm...I have raised two great "adults" now and let me tell you, they weren't any of these things UNTIL THEY WERE ADULTS. They totally fulfilled the criteria of "transition" in that they were all over the place, learning so much about themselves and life, lots of mistakes, until they started to settle down. Here's another link on this transition, teens wishing school
I need to rush off now and can't do my final point justice but hopefully this quick ending will make sense. Once you've left the past behind and have faced today truthfully, respectfully, and with proper support, then it is time to work together on your education plan...and get back to loving each other. It's time to heal relationships through parenting a teen via kindness, fun, and filling love tanks .
You are a great mama! And a great woman! Stay strong sista and know that I'm rooting and praying for you
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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countrymom
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Angie Mc wrote:
I think that most parents, especially homeschooling parents, underestimate the power of the transition from youth to adult. I say "especially homeschooling parents" because there seems to be a belief that if you just raise them right then there will be no transition? Ummm there will be no pain in the transition? Ummmm that teens will just somehow be responsible and reasonable? |
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thank you so much.
I feel at times with this child that I have failed. He is a good kid, but he has messed up big time. And I know that I have had a part in this due to my not doing my duty as I ought, many times serving my will instead of the will of God.
I had this image of just what you described above, that if I "did it all right" (right meaning good Mass, homeschooling, keeping them home ect) I would some how raise a super saint that could plough right through concupisence and original sin and just do it all right. I know it has been done, but surely not in my house
We have had some issues that have really enabled the devil to scream at me that I really have messed up.
I know I only have a few more years while he is under my roof and under our direction. He shows great contrition for his mess ups, but then also at times is so hard headed and so teenagerish that I worry that he will dive into a life of sin when he leaves home. I guess I am just kind of desperate realizing that his home education is almost over, and we have had some huge pot holes in the teen years.
I guess this is sort of off of the original topic, but it is all part of why I am considering different options.
two year old temper tantrums, give me twins with that problem any day over a teen! I guess I should not say that, because I have another teen who is easy going and very happy and self directed in the right direction.
thank you ladies for all your advice and encouragement.
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4Real Forums : High School Years and Beyond
Topic: fisher more academy
