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mamalove
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| Posted: July 18 2012 at 5:26pm | IP Logged
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I have been homeschooling my son since he was in Kindergarden. I always thought I would continue through 12th grade. But 9th grade is here and I feel like I can't do it all. I feel like I am giving up by going to talk to the local PS about part time enrollment.
Honestly, I cannot give him the help, feedback or the activity he needs. If he is bored, he gets in trouble. I have 4 other children to tend to.
How do I get over the "I'm guilty of sending him to PS feeling"? Has anyone here gotten over it and realized it wasn't all as bad as you thought it would be.
For so many years I have talked and walked the PS is terrible road, I've read all the books that encourage this thinking, but ultimately i think this is what needs to happen here. 
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: July 18 2012 at 5:55pm | IP Logged
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Oh dear, you sound so torn  .
Public school can be the perfect fit for some. Why? Because life isn't black and white. Many wonderful people have attended PS. God calls his people to all sorts of interesting places  .
The challenge is to figure out if PS is a good match for your son. I think it is awesome that you are considering it! Go ahead and look at all of your options, together with your son & dh, and choose the best option for right now. Avoid regrets of the past or fear of the future. Do your homework and make the best decision you can. Then just give yourself permission to GO FOR IT!
Personally, I never homeschooled as a reaction against PS. I often told my children that they may go there at some time, if that was God's will. So go ahead and say a quick prayer to be released from emotional or book-induced fear/judgement that no longer seems true. God is everywhere:) His will is perfect.
This doesn't have to be an all or nothing thing. Try to figure out what you like/enjoy/do best at home. Try to keep that. Then see if you can delegate the rest! Some of it can go to PS, or tutors, or clubs, or online or, who knows what wonderful opportunities await!
mamalove, you are a great mom. Brava for mothering and teaching your son so well! Launching the first one into the world such uncharted territory! You can do this
Keep us posted 
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: July 18 2012 at 6:42pm | IP Logged
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I'm seriously considering farming the high schoolers out for science. Not because I couldn't do it but because I don't wanna  well that and the expense to do it well. I figure if I can focus only on expanding things that should be expanded rather than the whole program it would be great. Plus that makes them a "student" and they'll be able to do any of the extras at the high school plus my oldest wants to be able to go on campus during the lunch time for the Fellowship of Christian Athletes meeting.
But the flip side is that she's not stuck there all day every day.. one class and a lunch time once or twice a month. But she can also join her friends for anything they're doing through the school.
I'm also looking at more self directed (than mom directed) programs.. teaching textbooks for math for instance. Things that she can do with minimal supervision from me but yet be here with me too. Because I do love the benefits of having the kids home.
There's a big difference in using the resources available including public school and giving up.
As Angie says.. it's win-win.
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-Sir Walter Scott
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mamalove
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| Posted: July 18 2012 at 6:56pm | IP Logged
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thank you ladies. I am so torn. I have been in this "fear of the world" mode for so long. gravitating toward others who share this "stay in the country on your farm, stay safe" mentality.
I know that God is everywhere, but so many pieces of HS reading have really installed this fear into me.
But I know that him making a big mistake at home because he was bored is a wake up call to me to look beyond my "comfort level" and reach a new comfort level. I need to focus on what is best for him, not what I fear about our local highschool environment.
I am looking into enrolling part time at the school, I was told 4 hours on campus were required to be able to participate into sports ect. The rest of the day will probably be with the PS virtual academy. Im not crazy about him being there all day yet , but I think this would be a good start. I am talking to the principal tomorrow.
It feels right, but it is also so scary, I do need to give myself the permission. I need to let go of the mindset and fear that "only good Catholics homeschool"
I have been praying the rosary for discernment on this issue. I just did not expect that PS would be the answer. I was dreaming dh would say "sure honey, I think we should move to NearestBigCity with a good Catholic highschool so our son can attend!!!!!"
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DianaCatherine
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| Posted: July 18 2012 at 7:33pm | IP Logged
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I know exactly how you feel. I always said I would completely homeschool all the way through high school and I still wish that was the case but my son takes some of his classes at a local Catholic high school. It is not my first choice but he needed that involvement with others. We still do a lot of his schooling here at home but he is enjoying meeting the friends and he has been able to be involved in some of the schools activities. Plus where I am, most of those who we were involved in co-ops with and homeschool kids he grew up with went their seperate ways to their own respective high schools, so a lot of his homeschool friends are gone.
There are issues a long the way but I pray a lot, as I did even before and know that God is still always with us.
I must say also, one thing that comforts me is knowing and seeing good Catholic kids come out of PS and Catholic schools.
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Erica Sanchez
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| Posted: July 19 2012 at 12:13am | IP Logged
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Mamalove,
I think you can do high school. :)
There is so much support here and out there in the internet world. If you want to, you can. If you don't want to, then the above replies are perfect.
I say this because I was privileged to hear Laura Berquist of Mother of Divine Grace speak at our local conference last month. She gave several talks on different subjects, but I was impressed by how much problem solving she shared in each giving examples of many of the families she has worked with over the years. She is, honestly, AMAZING and even if one doesn't use her curriculum (I do not), she has invaluable experience and knowledge and passion regarding homeschooling including high school. You could call her. :)
I know there are many, many places to find support for homeschooling high school - I think here is one of the best. :)
I have so enjoyed my teens being home for school. It is far from perfect and my oldest's freshman year was rocky at best, but three years later and the fruit is so apparent. My two high schoolers are very active and involved, but having them home for school has allowed much time together and with siblings. No doubt, it's hard - there are six kiddos under them including two rowdy toddlers. I sometimes wonder how we make it through the day. I will say that each year my oldest has become more independent, so while the freshman year might be a little more mom-intensive, the following years should be less so.
I don't have strong feelings against public schools and we did not make the decision to keep our kids home out of 'fear of the world' at all. We do not live in the country. :)
I could go on and on, Mamalove, but I just wanted to throw a little encouragement your way and share how blessed I feel to have my high schoolers home.
I will pray for you during this great time of discernment, especially for peace no matter what the final decision is. 
Love,
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Have a beautiful and fun day!
Erica in San Diego
(dh)Cash, Emily, Grace, Nicholas, Isabella, Annie, Luke, Max, Peter, 2 little souls ++, and sweet Rose who is legally ours!
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: July 19 2012 at 5:15am | IP Logged
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Mamalove, We had this difficult decision to make with our oldest son. We finally talked to a priest, very supportive of homeschooling, who said, "some boys just need to be out of the house for a while in order to grow up". I took that as confirmation that we were to put our son in school (ours was a Catholic highschool but the Catholic part was ... questionable). Anyway, it wasn't without it's stress, that's for sure. But in so many ways I see that it was important for him to go. It ended up being a positive thing, overall, and now he's headed to Hillsdale College where he will get to play football.
That being said, my next two kids, 13yo girl and 11yo boy say they don't want to go and I'm quite happy with the idea that they will be home. I think the stress on our family will be less. But, my dd is very self motivated and I know she will push herself in highschool. My oldest son wouldn't. 7th and 8th grade were so difficult with him because he was not motivated to do his work. He loved to read, which was great, but I had a hard time getting him to do anything else.
Rambling now, but I wanted to share our experience. I highly recommend talking to someone you trust. In our case it was a priest. Sometimes we don't see things clearly when we are caught up in it emotionally. It's nice to get an unbiased point of view.
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Becky
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mamalove
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| Posted: July 23 2012 at 9:52am | IP Logged
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well, I have talked to 2 priests and visited the local PS and had an interview with the principal. DH and I have decided that PS is not for us, no matter what the current discouragement and hardships. Our priests really support this and encourage us to do whatever we can to find appropriate outlets outside the home. We are now looking into Seaton, because it is comparable to the workload of PS and they offer grading and tutoring help when I can't help my son.
We are continuing to pray and ask for the gifts of knowledge, understanding, wisdom and council from the Holy Spirit.
Thank you for your support ladies
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Erica Sanchez
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| Posted: July 23 2012 at 3:24pm | IP Logged
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I will pray for you, Mamalove!!
This is not your specific issue, but I thought I'd share anyway in case it helps. Laura Berquist was speaking about one of her families where there was a rebellious teen and school seemed like the only choice for them.
She recommended these four things:
- teens need to make money; help them find some kind of work
- they need friends; help them set up some kind of regular activity to meet with friends
- they need exercise
- they need regular time with mom and dad
The family she was speaking of did this:
- teen got a part-time job at the rectory
- mom set up a weekly lit club with other teens
- teen took fencing classes
- mom and teen went for coffee one evening each week
She shared that these four things helped tremendously.
Good luck, Mamalove!
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Have a beautiful and fun day!
Erica in San Diego
(dh)Cash, Emily, Grace, Nicholas, Isabella, Annie, Luke, Max, Peter, 2 little souls ++, and sweet Rose who is legally ours!
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mamalove
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| Posted: July 23 2012 at 9:55pm | IP Logged
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wow, what great advice
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guitarnan
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| Posted: July 23 2012 at 10:48pm | IP Logged
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- teens need to make money; help them find some kind of work
- they need friends; help them set up some kind of regular activity to meet with friends
- they need exercise
- they need regular time with mom and dad
For our son, work has been helping friends with fence post hole digging and other very physical work. Friends have been Boy Scouts and other local folks, plus Scouting friends from other places we've lived. Exercise has been work and bicycling. Mom and Dad time comes at mealtimes (when Dad is here, we work with his schedule!) and on family drives/trips.
For our daughter, work is just beginning, with babysitting and (I hope) teaching Irish dance. Friends come from dance and co-op. Exercise is All Things Dance and Related Activities (e. g. Pilates and clogging). Mom and Dad time tends to be Mom OR Dad time, but we work hard to make it all quality time.
I offer this not only to affirm Laura's amazing understanding of family dynamics but also to show that these objectives can be met in a wide, wide variety of ways.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Erica Sanchez
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| Posted: July 23 2012 at 11:29pm | IP Logged
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So true, Nancy.
When I was listening to the talk, I realized how lacking my older girls are in the exercise category. Also, I would like to try to do something special with each of my children on a regular basis, but lately, and especially for my teens, I try to just give them my full attention at some point during the day. Maybe I should schedule a few walks with them each week. :)
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Have a beautiful and fun day!
Erica in San Diego
(dh)Cash, Emily, Grace, Nicholas, Isabella, Annie, Luke, Max, Peter, 2 little souls ++, and sweet Rose who is legally ours!
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drmommy
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| Posted: July 24 2012 at 9:15am | IP Logged
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I support Erica's post, as I attended the same talk at the conference. I have homeschooled my son (now 20) and am currently homeschooling my daughter (15) in high school. I also work part time outside of the home. It CAN be done! I see the results of my son, and it has encouraged me to homeschool my daughter in high school. Now, friends and family are impressed and noticing the fruits of homeschooling high school. It can be done, but it is very intimidating and overwhelming. We do take the time out to do some outside activities like friend dates and coffee, and that REALLY helps. Hang in there. Whatever you choose with the support of your husband and lots of prayers will be the right decision.
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JennyMaine
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| Posted: July 31 2012 at 6:45am | IP Logged
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I've had the "I can't do high school anymore" feeling myself. There's no doubt about it - our lifestyle is challenging. For us, the rewards have been huge. But that doesn't make the challenges vanish!
I think that a program like Seton could be a good idea for you, as long as his skills are up for it. It gives him daily direction without waiting for mom to tell him what to do, and he can call someone else when he needs help. You don't have to plan, just correct work and cheer him on. That can be a huge load off mom.
Have you considered having him volunteer somewhere for a few hours a week? I'm thinking here of things like the library; the parish office; the Red Cross; the food pantry; state pro-life organization. I, too, live in the country, so I understand the difficulty of getting him there. But this gets him out into the community and takes the focus off himself for a while.
It is a good thing to evaluate where you are at and to pray, as you are. For us, it ultimately comes down to the fact that our local high school is a horrible place & that we have no Catholic high school in our part of the state. That sort of simplifies things, doesn't it? The question becomes not "am I going to do this?" but rather, "how am I going to get this done this year?" Many of us are right there with you! (Hug)
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--JennyMaine, Mom to Catherine (17) and Sam (15) "The countenance is a reflection of the soul. You should always have a calm and serene countenance." -- Therese of Lisieux
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asplendidtime
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FWIW I think you can do it too! I have many of the same thoughts, And many more I have had many moments of wanting to put the older ones in school. I keep going on faith because I do believe God has called us to this, and I have many, many concerns that go along with Public Highschool!
From my limited experience the Lord has been faithful and true in so many circumstances throughout this journey, I know He'll continue. Some of my anxiety reminds me of my anxieties with being a parent in the first place, starting when I came home from hospital with my first baby, dh went right back to work, and it was suddenly all for me to handle, ------well! At that time, to me mistakes were something that made me shudder.I had no idea what I was doing, when we had another baby just ten months later, I didn't at all have the same anxieties, although I did wonder how I'd handle two all of the time! But I knew the love was there, I knew the Father's grace was there! just trying to say that, I think after your feet get wet, the grace will be there and God will lead you! Maybe you'll look back and find it wasn't so bad.
For us we keep taking it one year at a time, with confidence this is what the Lord has called us to, but it's possible His plan might look different from year to year too!
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4Real Forums : High School Years and Beyond
Topic: I can't do highschool
