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folklaur
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| Posted: April 06 2006 at 5:12pm | IP Logged
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Hi,
I am frustrated. I hope someone will have some kind of advice.
My dd16 just really doesn't like to do schoolwork that I assign ( dh either.) Right now, she is taking Chemistry at the local public high school. Until this year, she always said she hated science. Well, she is doing really, really well in the class -- the teacher told me I should put her into Chem at the Community College next year. This from the child who would reduce herself to tears with Science with me, no matter what I would do, try, or say.
And this isn't the first thing like this.
She did not want to go to the public school for the class at all. She was convinced that every other child in the school would be on drugs, sexually active, and just a terrible person. She was surprised to find that there are just quite a few "normal" people there. However, she really still does not like going, and wants to be homeschooled. However, any assignment brings sighs, eye rolling, mumbling, etc.
This isn't an irresponsible child. She has volunteered at church for years. She has a part time job. She doesn't have any learning disabilities. And she says she wants to go to college, and get a culinary degree.
BUT! We don't have the money to put her into Comm. College classes. She can do the work -- she does it willingly for her classes outside the home, whether at the high school or any co-op classes she has attended.
I am at my wits end. Dh and I have even considered telling her we are signed up with a program, like Seton or whatever, and "pretending" to send her work away  . How sad is that? I know it is! But she just feels that with me, she doesn't have to be accountable, and I get tired of the turmoil that spills over to the siblings when we fight about her work. I don't need the littler ones thinking "School = we argue with mom".
Do we have the only teenager who fights school with us -- but wants to be homeschooled?
She does her chores, she helps constantly, and she is a really sweet kid. Her only real extra- curriculars are with church or with the catholic homeschool group occasionally. Other than school stuff, she isn't even usually mouthy at all. If I had problems other than with school work I would be concerned about her character. But it is just schoolwork - assigned by me or dh where we have a problem with her.
And add to this that for the past two years she has been dealing with a LOT of problems with her kidneys. She has had surgeries, etc -- and there is no way she would even be able to keep up with college level stuff if we could afford it. The public school reluctently excuses her excessive absences right now -- and I am sure it is becasue she still gets high grades.
All the co-ops -- when there are any available -- are also so expensive -- and now that just isn't an option for us right now.
Any advice? I don't care if you have teens or not -- I am willing to listen to anything anyone has to say!!!!
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Elizabeth
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Real Learning
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| Posted: April 06 2006 at 6:02pm | IP Logged
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cactus mouse wrote:
Do we have the only teenager who fights school with us -- but wants to be homeschooled?
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Nope. You definitely don't. I don't really have any advice, but I do have empathy.I'm thinking on it...
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Leonie
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| Posted: April 06 2006 at 6:06pm | IP Logged
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What about online opportunites? Are they expensive?
I also mark and grade papers for two homeschool teens. I don't charge - I am friends with their families and I know its a help for those teens to have an outsider look at the work.
Is there someone who can do a reciprocal thing with you - tutor or grade some of dd's work in return for a service you offer?
Just a thought .
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Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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stefoodie
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| Posted: April 06 2006 at 7:20pm | IP Logged
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this happens here too, sometimes.
i remember a thread talking about this on the CCM list a long time ago -- maybe 2 years ago? the suggestion i remember is that you need to get someone else that she could be accountable to and who will follow up and will give a consequence if necessary. like dad. or maybe in this case a third party like a tutor, like leonie suggested?
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stef
mom to five
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JennGM
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| Posted: April 06 2006 at 7:30pm | IP Logged
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Ooooh, I have to chime in here. I was homeschooled as a teenager and did the same thing to my mother. I loved being homeschooled, but cried and cried over my science and math subjects. What worked was getting a friend to tutor. And she didn't do much, I just needed to be accountable to someone else. So Leonie's suggestion worked for me.
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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Bookswithtea
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| Posted: April 07 2006 at 2:10pm | IP Logged
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Laura, I don't know if this suggestion helps you, but the idea of another hs mom helping seems like a great alternative to me. I am dealing with the same thing right now. Good kid, works for others just fine. But gives me so much grief and turns in work that is just terrible sometimes, for me.
I just looked at another mom's Seton books over lunch today, thinking maybe that was the answer. However, after looking, I am convinced that it won't work for either of us.
I think I'm going to ask around and see if another mom would be willing to grade some assignments for me. It doesn't even have to be an IRL person...its easy enough to email or snail mail papers. After all, that's how Seton does it, too! 
~Books
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Rachel May
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| Posted: April 08 2006 at 11:40am | IP Logged
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When I tutored our babysitter (fantastic, obedient kid) in math, one thing I discovered was that her dad, who had taught her math for years, intimidated her. He is a pediatric hemotologist, brilliant and wonderful with all children including his own. However, she was not a "math person", and he didn't understand how she just didn't get it. After a while (and I while before I got her, I think) she just shut off to his teaching.
My not being her dad and getting sickly excited about high school geometry got her excited to learn again. I don't know if that plays a part in anyone else's teen troubles, but I thought I'd mention it in case it helps.
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Rachel
Thomas and Anthony (10), Maria (8), Charles (6), Cecilia (5), James (3), and Joseph (1)
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LLMom
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| Posted: April 26 2006 at 9:45pm | IP Logged
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I have a child like this. I think after hs for so long that I believe that some children do not want to be hs the way we want. (whether it be CM, unschooled, etc.) Maybe something like SEton, MODG or OLV would be a perfect fit for her. Have you asked? THere is nothing wrong with these types of programs if that is what she needs.
DOes your state offer dual enrollment? Where I live, you can take courses (some online) at a community college and get both hs and college credit. They are free here but I don't know if its that way in every state. It might be worth checking into.
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Lisa
For veteran & former homeschool moms
homeschooling ideas
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LLMom
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| Posted: April 26 2006 at 9:46pm | IP Logged
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I forgot to add that my 15 yr old dd is enrolled with sEton for 1 course and doing math with my neighbor and is doing so much better that way.
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Lisa
For veteran & former homeschool moms
homeschooling ideas
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4Real Forums : High School Years and Beyond
Topic: Accountability - but not to me!
