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robinhigh
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| Posted: Nov 27 2009 at 9:53pm | IP Logged
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Dear ladies, I have always noticed that my oldest ds, 16 was different.. he was sent to speech therapy as a toddler because he wouldn't speak until after the age of 2... he never showed much emotion, affection, very socially awkward... he was a baby that never cried but would just lay there, content... over the years I've asked about autism, saying that I thought he had "slight autism" but was laughed at by my pediatrician... now I know it's probably not autism, but it's got to be something else... he's very absent minded, like putting the gallon of milk in the cupboard, leaving things open, but he was always very scientific. He's very intelligent, but sometimes cannot follow directions to do a simple task. I think of it as lacking common sense. I don't know how to explain it. He's becoming extremely lazy and hermit like. He stays in his room all day and rarely takes part in social situations. Not that we have that many of them to take part in...  when people in public, for ex. the grocery store talk to him, sometimes he completely ignores them and when I call him on it, he says he didn't notice he was being talked to. He's always been like this, avoiding or ignoring others. He never initiates a hug to me or his siblings, and doesn't like it when I hug him. He has made a few friends in his lifetime, and most of my family members get angry with me when I have mentioned that there's a problem or tell me I'm imagining things... they are very complacent people who deny any problem with anything, though... there's got to be something I can do to help him. Do any of you recognize what might be the problem? where can I go for help?
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folklaur
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| Posted: Nov 27 2009 at 10:41pm | IP Logged
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some of the things you are saying certainly sound like they fall with the autism spectrum.
of course it is not too late to get help! i am not sure if you would see a developmental pediatrician, or something similar. but you could call one and ask, and if they are not the right person, could probably point you in the right direction (especially for your area).
"labels" do not have to be bad things. they can even give a sense of relief to those involved.
trust your instincts.
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melanie
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| Posted: Nov 27 2009 at 10:52pm | IP Logged
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My 5yo son is waiting to be evaluated for possible autism,and I honestly think my dh is/was Asperger's syndrome as a child. Very smart, very awkward socially, very late speech, etc. He is still very quirky. :) I don't think it's ever too late to get help. My dh is a wonderful guy, but he suffered as a teenager and young adult because of his terrible social skills. He is a lot like your son sounds...just kind of oblivious sometimes. He's done exactly what you describe above, just walked away from someone who was talking to him because he just didn't know what to say or do. We do love him though.  He's a very sweet guy with a lot of compassion for people. He's a hospice nurse, of all things! But somehow that's easier for him...I think because his role is kind of scripted, if that makes sense. Anyway, he gives me hope for my son, who is also pretty high functioning, I figure if he turns out like his dad, that would be pretty cool. 
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Melanie
homeschooling Maria (13yo), Kain (10yo), Jack (5yo), Tess (2yo), and our newest blessing, Henry Robert, born 4/23!
slightlycrunchycatholic.blogspot.com
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melanie
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| Posted: Nov 27 2009 at 10:53pm | IP Logged
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Oh, and the hermit behavior...he is very much like this, we have to really drag him out of himself sometimes. He says he was worse as a young adult, and his parents had to really push him to finish college and such, he was just introverted and unmotivated.
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Melanie
homeschooling Maria (13yo), Kain (10yo), Jack (5yo), Tess (2yo), and our newest blessing, Henry Robert, born 4/23!
slightlycrunchycatholic.blogspot.com
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Angel
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| Posted: Nov 28 2009 at 7:33am | IP Logged
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If he often seems to not "hear" people (or to "ignore" them), you might consider testing for an auditory processing disorder (CAPD). At least that way you could figure out if he was really ignoring them or if something else was preventing him from making sense of what they say... I mean, if his actual physical hearing has always tested ok.
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Angela
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Angel
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| Posted: Nov 28 2009 at 8:01am | IP Logged
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You know, I'll just add that my son has Tourette Syndrome and was seeing a psychiatrist for a while at around the age of 9/10. He also went through a lot of cognitive testing at that time because we were concerned about some learning problems he was having. The tester brought up Asperger's and/or Non-Verbal Learning Disorders to me (which both have a lot to do with social interaction), in addition to the visual and auditory difficulties (and ADHD) she suspected him of having. When I brought up Asperger's to the psychiatrist (because, like your son, my ds has always exhibited some mildly autistic behaviors that worried me over the years... he was also a late talker, but this may have been more because he has a definite visual-spatial bent... Here's an article about late-talking children you might find interesting)...
Anyway, when I brought up Asperger's to the psychiatrist, this is what he told me. Many people might be identified these days as being "on the spectrum" (and in fact, those behaviors are often bundled with Tourette Syndrome) but not in need of a full-blown Asperger's diagnosis. These people (like my ds) may need a little more support socially than others but they do not really need the diagnosis.
It does seem from what you describe to me that autism probably isn't the only explanation for the behaviors you're seeing. Not being able to follow directions might be the result of auditory processing difficulties or sequencing difficulties often associated with ADD... or he could be intensely visual-spatial. Cognitive testing (with the best tester you can find and afford) would probably, IMO, be a good place to start.
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Angela
Mom to 9, 7 boys and 2 girls
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Willa
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I don't think it's too late, Robin. I have a friend whose son was diagnosed at age 18 (with Asperger's). And increasingly, adults are being diagnosed. It just wasn't in the consciousness of most doctors until relatively recently, so moms who noticed mild oddities about their children often got dismissed by pediatricians.
You don't have to feel bad about seeking a diagnosis for an older child, because Asperger's and some other syndromes don't always show themselves up very markedly in earlier years. So I think it's just a judgment call -- whether your intuition tells you it would help your situation, or not.
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Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: Dec 07 2009 at 4:49pm | IP Logged
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Robin, I don't think it is ever too late to follow God's direction and insights that He gives us right now. I also see His timing as perfect, so we don't need to worry (hard, I know) that something didn't happen in the past...because God has plans for us right now. Even those who receive a diagnosis early in life can have them adjusted as they mature. So I'm praying that you find some wonderful information, support, and options that will help your ds now.
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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4Real Forums : High School Years and Beyond
Topic: Is it too late to get help
