| Author | |
StephanieA
Forum Pro
Joined: May 11 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 394
|
| Posted: Sept 15 2009 at 5:40pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
I homeschool our 9 children. The 2 oldest boys are in college. But my newly-turned 17 year old son is nearly "unmotivated". He does take college algebra and English comp at the local university as an early college credit student, but that is all I can get him to do. He has scored a 30 on the ACT, but this doesn't qualify him for a full scholarship at this college. He will need at least a 31. However, he has his sites on another college where decent scholarships start at 32.
Technically this is a junior year, but I am seriously considering graduating him this year. Socially, he jells better with a bit younger kids....this is what worries me....and the fact that he hasn't had physics which he will need for his computer science degree. He won't have time to do it this year as he will take chemistry next semester at the college. He would have to study this physics this summer.
I am tired of going into his room where is suppose to be reading Dante, doing his religion, studying art history (something he really enjoys), and working on his ACT for the October test. Instead he is installing something else on his darn computer or mindlessly goofing off.
It just doesn't seem to be worth the conflict and the near ruination of our relationship. He is a very soft-hearted kid who loves playing with his 2 year old brother. But my "nagging" is getting to me AND him. Basically I have had it. I either let him "BE" and just let him waste all this time or prematurely enroll him college which I hestitate to do because of his soft-heartness and his social attractiveness to everything (this is secular college). I am afraid I am going to regret that decision. BUT....this goofing off also isn't good for him or me.
Any thoughts....suggestions....??? Throw in the towel or just let him be?
He does work part-time at a computer shop. He could get more work, but that isn't getting the schoolwork done AND honing in his study skills for college.
Thanks!
Stephanie
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
folklaur
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2816
|
| Posted: Sept 15 2009 at 8:52pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
well, considering his age, i have to ask - what does HE want to do?
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Mary G
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5790
|
| Posted: Sept 15 2009 at 9:14pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
It sounds like he doesn't need to graduate yet, but what about an internship or apprenticeship in the compsci field? Can he work part-time at the local computer store, getting hands-on knowledge of both computers and working?
What about him doing a paper on why he wants to do computers and what he wants to do ... hardware? software? apps development? web design?
What about having him write a full-blown business plan on what he would do if he was in the work world?
What about shifting from "classic school" to more of a vo-tech with the comp sci courses online or at the community college or even just learning programming or some other aspect of the computer world?
ETA: I wouldn't graduate him early ... I'd have him get more of his kind of learning under his belt so that when his social-age catches up with college age, he's ready to do what he wants to do ...
He sounds like such an untraditional student, I don't know if I'd even look at college at this point ... let him "play" (but with a goal ...) with tech-geekiness and see if that's really his baliwick ... it might be that he just loves tinkering with computers and is more suited to something else ... or that college is not for him but being part of the "geek squad" is ...
__________________
MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)
my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JodieLyn
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 06 2006
Location: Oregon
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 12234
|
| Posted: Sept 15 2009 at 9:24pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
And he might just be contrary enough that your nagging is actually what is keeping him from doing the work  I know I have a tendency that way myself. When he owns the work and mom isn't the one making sure everything is getting done etc. Only then will he pick it up and run with it himself.
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
guitarnan
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Maryland
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 10883
|
| Posted: Sept 15 2009 at 9:51pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Our sons might be...alike!
The hard part is, if he wants a CS degree he will need all the math and physics possible before high school graduation. Ending high school without those only means he'll pay more $$ to take those classes in college.
For what it's worth...a degree in the CS/IT field is really and truly worth something. I have a good friend with tons of IT and NOC management experience, but no degree, and he has been jobless for months. If your son really wants to work with computers, that B.S. is essential. (Show him Microsoft's website, with job descriptions...all of which require, yes, a degree!)
The two of you will need to come to a meeting of the minds about study time, school requirements, etc., or you'll need to outsource more of your son's final year of high school to the community college so he has to meet someone else's standards.
My brother has his B.S. and M.S. in Computer Science and I know from tracking his career that being able to take charge, lead a team and get things done are essential to success in this field. Computer knowhow isn't enough. Academic credentials and leadership potential are important, too.
(PM me if you need more info...I can truly empathize, really...and I can also ask my brother for up-to-date advice...)
__________________
Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
StephanieA
Forum Pro
Joined: May 11 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 394
|
| Posted: Sept 16 2009 at 7:22am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I guess I should have added that he is currently taking college algebra and English Comp as a dual-enrolled student at the university where he most likely will attend (if he doesn't get his act together and get his ACT higher for Franciscan U.)
He is not finding these classes difficult enough to study very much. I know this will definetly change when he takes calculus. My older 2 boys also breezed through college algebra and trig with not a lot of effort, but they had to study long and hard for calculus.
My third son definetly wants to go to college and already has about 18 hours of CLEPs under his belt.
In fact, he would love to go to high school, but at this point, he couldn't earn a HS degree and personally I feel he is better off scholastically at the university classes. The HS would place him in lower level classes because they will not recognize any of homeschooling credit  He would literally go back to Algebra 1 because they don't test higher than that for placement
He is also working 3 afternoons a week at a web designing computer company. I really don't want him working more than that. My deal is that I fear that getting use to wasting all this time will impact his habits and THAT will be hard to break when he is socked with 16 hours of college the year after next.
I saw this happen with my brother. Smart enough...but study habits stunk to high heaven.
He doesn't tinker with computer....unfortunately. He is watching downloaded movies and listening to music, etc.
He does not have internet access at home, so I am not worried so much about that. Of course, he does at college, but he is there only a few hours a week in the afternoons. The mornings he sleeps in until 9...grrr.
Then the mornings he just sits in his room - he may open his chemistry and religion books, but not much at all gets done. He is also out of the habit of reading which is sad.
Thanks so much for all the help!!!
Blessings,
Stephanie
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Bookswithtea
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 07 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2621
|
| Posted: Sept 16 2009 at 9:20am | IP Logged
|
|
|
It sounds like just isn't motivated at home anymore. Some boys are like this. Homeschooling just doesn't feel "real" to them.  I wouldn't graduate him, even though its driving you both crazy, though.
Could he dual-enroll with a heavier load at the semester break (or even now, if possible?). If he's taking that seriously, and then taking his job seriously, that would probably be enough.
Or if dual enrollment with another course is not possible, then how about enrolling him in an online class that's interactive and requires that he be on the computer at the same time each day for the discussion, etc?
If he could have a full load of classes that are all outside of you and somehow feel more real to him, then after that, I would leave him alone in how he spends his free time.
__________________
Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and  due 9/10
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
folklaur
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2816
|
| Posted: Sept 16 2009 at 2:55pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Bookswithtea wrote:
If he could have a full load of classes that are all outside of you and somehow feel more real to him, then after that, I would leave him alone in how he spends his free time. |
|
|
agreeing with Books.
i would have him take a full load next semester as dual enrollment.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
StephanieA
Forum Pro
Joined: May 11 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 394
|
| Posted: Sept 16 2009 at 4:35pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
The outside classes this semester are going well so far.
But the university will only allow 2 classes per semester, but we are going to try for 3 next semester if he does very well in these 2 classes. But I have my serious doubts they will allow it.
Plus the cost is prohibitive. It would be a whole lot cheaper if he went full-time since he has a scholarship now that covers everything but incidental fees and books. We have to pay quite a bit for the early college credit classes. But...I am trying not to weigh that too much into the equation for his sake 
Online classes would be a great option but we live so far out that we can only get dial-up internet at this time. Just dialing up sometimes takes 5 minutes
Thank you for all your thoughts! I am thinking this out as I read each response.
Blessings,
Stephanie
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
|
|
4Real Forums : High School Years and Beyond
Topic: Would U graduate this child early?
