Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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High School Years and Beyond
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Subject Topic: resources for a teen girl re:teen mags Post ReplyPost New Topic
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wamegomom
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Posted: Aug 13 2008 at 10:12pm | IP Logged Quote wamegomom
Ladies, please help. I'm not looking for good teen magazines right now. My problem is that I have a 17 y.o. dd (the only one who attends public school; you should also know that she was adopted from China at age 7 and despite lots of work and lots of family counseling, she has reactive attachment disorder and has not attached to us in ten years. In fact she is planning to move out on her 18th b'day, even though she'll have another year of h.s. to go, and live with a Buddhist woman whose contact information she closely guards from us--I know, many big sighs here.) Her school library gets some pretty awful magazines and the librarian gives them away when the next issue comes in. Last year I found a Cosmo Girl stuffed behind her desk and we talked about it and how it was demeaning to women and to men. I did NOT yell at her. I prayed a lot first!! But I am repulsed by that type of marketing to young women! Some of the fashion ads are literally soft p*rn, and one "feature" is called "Eye candy" featuring a young man who looks, shall we say, cold? Someone should wrap him in a blanket!!! We talked about Mary as our model of womanhood, the value of women and how this demeans women made in the image and likeness of God. We talked about positive fashion models and articles, and why it is fine to want to look nice, but that these articles and pictures were what Jason Evert calls "relationship poison." I thought I got through.

This afternoon my 10 y.o. ds brought 3 of these magazines, discards from the school library, to dh and me. He said they were on the very top of the bathroom cabinet. When dd came home from work this evening dh and I asked her to come to our room and talk about this. She got very angry and defensive. We tried to explain again WHY reading this type of magazine is wrong. She's furious with us, there's nothing wrong with it if you don't think there is, she and her friends laughed at me the first time we talked about this when she told them I called them "soft p*rn", we're such a joke, etc.

I'm just sick about this. I don't want my other dd's to see this stuff or my sons either (I'm serious, some of the ads and articles are really evil). She screamed that the Church is wrong, we are wrong, and the only person she believes in is herself and her own judgement. She's way too upset to reason with now (and the RAD sure doesn't help).

Does anyone have a link to an article that might help me explain this concept to her? I thought we might meet with our priest, but frankly I'd die of embarrassment bringing that magazine in his office with us!

All advice and prayers welcome!!
Mary Alice in Kansas
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Philothea
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Posted: Aug 14 2008 at 8:06pm | IP Logged Quote Philothea
Meet with the priest. As shocking as this is to you, he's seen it and much, much worse. No need to die of embarrassment.

It is a GOOD sign that you are sensitive to this -- but understand that you are in such a small minority, even within the Church, that many will think you crazy. All the same, hold fast to your values, but never be afraid/ashamed to consult your Priest, that is what he is there for!

I will say a Hail Mary for your daughter.
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Angie Mc
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Posted: Aug 14 2008 at 9:24pm | IP Logged Quote Angie Mc
I'm so sorry for your worry, Mary. I'm wondering if a resource from Crossroads Initiative might help. I'm not familiar with these specific resources but read Marcellino D'Ambrosio's writing at Catholic Exchange. Maybe by shifting the focus to what is true and beautiful will be more approachable and attractive than trying to explain all that is wrong.

I'm praying for you all.

Love,

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