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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: June 03 2008 at 11:50am | IP Logged
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My 15-yr-old is having trouble sleeping at night. Highly restless. Then he's tired with little energy during the day.
I've been serving him warmed milk with honey at night but it isn't helping.
During the day, though tired, he's very wired. I call it the "restless teen" syndrome but I don't remember my older two going through this at this age.
Only difference? Those two went to high school at that age. Perhaps they were wired during the day but they had an outlet and by the time they got home I didn't "see" it.
My 15-yr-old has been at home since second grade and loves hsing. He's on the homeschool basketball team which has given him lots of friends. He (who didn't want to play basketball originally) now lives for weekly practices. His social life has broadened (much to the delight of his grandparents and father) but I see my contented little boy becoming a social guru. 
I'm happy that he's happy but this well-rounded social schedule of movies, handball parties, swimming gatherings, etc. has brought a restlessness into his life that I worry will only lead to discontentment and a socially-charged neediness later on. These activities are amongst good, good Christian hs families and parents are always around to supervise. There is always a parent to bring them to the movies and always at the home they meet at. In a world of distrust, I trust these families completely.
To the outside world my boy is leading a very rich life. I know that all of you (on the inside) know why I'm concerned about the "richness" of "too much".
And, really, I can't say it's all "too much". Garrett is very introverted and doesn't like crowds. Practice is twice weekly and they usually meet to hang-out once a week. The rest of the week he seems to be sitting on pins and needles needing to "do something".
Perhaps it's the lack of that social environment the rest of the week that makes him restless. But I don't see where we need to add anything more outside of our home.
Basketball practice started back again last week and this is when this all started.
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: June 03 2008 at 12:16pm | IP Logged
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exercise.. he needs to be working off that energy.. and falling into bed so tired at night that he'll sleep.
Even though my oldest boy isn't there yet.. my life is so much easier with him if he's been working/playing hard.
Mowing lawns, gardening, shoveling dirt, chopping wood, swim team, lacrosse etc.
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LisaR
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| Posted: June 03 2008 at 1:00pm | IP Logged
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Cay Gibson wrote:
Only difference? Those two went to high school at that age. Perhaps they were wired during the day but they had an outlet and by the time they got home I didn't "see" it.
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my ds, almost 15, could be the teen you describe, when he was 13/newly 14.
he went to catholic high school full time as a freshman, and I noticed a huge change in him, for the better.
he was so stimulated with 8 classes, daily mass, and a club or sports either right before or after school, that when he came home he was really present to us and mellow 
not interested in social stuff after school or weekends,(except sports, well and now he is working as a boy scout camp couselor) where as a homeschooler he had a "rich and varied life"
from talking to him (and I know everyone is different!) he says that he is more than socially fulfilled by a full day of school and activities, and has no desire to do anything besides that or the occasional spontaneous neighborhood thing.
when he ws homeschooled he felt a bit like he might be "missing out" although not even quite sure with what.
I would not say "wired" but they are pretty animated at school I think.
one thing that has not changed: he comes to life around 10-11pm or so. this is the prime time to get ALL the dirt and scoop on everything ...
only difference is now he HAS to get up (and does on his own!) either at 5:15am or 6:15 am for school, depending on Mass/Practice schedule for the day...
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dh Tim '92
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Maria B.
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Exercise!!!!
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Maria in VA
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LisaR
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yes, exercise! ds , once he started conditioning for football, about a year ago, has basically worked out just about every day since, football, wrestling, and running year round...
I do see the need for exercise to be HUGE in all of my boys. there attitude, even the 6 y/o's is much better after lots of running around....
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dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
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Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: June 03 2008 at 7:01pm | IP Logged
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Okay, he exercises.
He's so wired that he runs in the morning, plays basketball, comes in and eats breakfast, does his math & science, paces the house, shoots more hoops, picks on his little sisters, watches ESPN and the news, reads, eats lunch, then the afternoon starts all over again.
He runs again in the evenings when it's cooler. He practices basketball on a frenzied schedule.
Basketball practice started back up. That will be twice weekly. The boys meet on a regular basis to play handball/frisbee/basketball taking turns at their homes.
I drop Garrett off at our area aquatic/recreational center where he works out and plays basketball with whoever is there. Then he goes for a swim. Or he goes swimming with his friends.
It's during the downtime at home that he's restless but I can't see that he isn't getting enough exercise. Perhaps he's over-exercised.
He's been gone all day on a trip to Galveston with friends. I'm going to see how he acts tomorrow. He'll either be worn out or anxious for the next "event".
Any other ideas?
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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LisaR
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| Posted: June 03 2008 at 7:24pm | IP Logged
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hmmm. a job??
ds is not quite 15, but this year and last he worked at the high school in the summer for scholarship money. grunt work, you know, moving desks, cleaning lockers, weeding, etc.
he also works as a counselor in training at boy scout camp (and logged an average of 12!! miles per day, he wore a pedometer last year!) and that seemed to "ground" him...
maybe asking him to write you a list of what he hopes to accomplish in the day?
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: June 03 2008 at 7:36pm | IP Logged
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 By jove, I think she's got it.
 Seriously, Lisa, it's so funny you mentioned this. This shy boy who I wondered if he'd ever come out of his shell enough to get a job has expressed an interest in doing just that.
Only, we went through job searches with my older two (grocery store type part-time jobs) and they wanted them to be at least 16 to work.
We have another year and in many ways I'm glad.
I did fail to mention that Garrett is in charge of mowing and weed-eating our two acres. He does that weekly and that's how he earns spending money.
He's also the one I get to empty the trash, burn boxes, move furniture, lift supplies, etc. for me.
But I think he does need a "job". A serious "job", where he answers to somone else.
Thank you, Lisa.
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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Leonie
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Yeah, I was going to suggest either a part time job or volunteer work. My teens have both and this keeps them busy, provides an outlet for energy and ideas, means they learn to be disciplined with time, learn to serve others - who could ask for more for teen boys!
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Bookswithtea
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Ok, this is going to sound weird, but you mentioned he's introverted. Is he doing anything that feeds that part of his soul? I mention it because I have a son who is kind of introverted as well, and almost 15 now. He is the most level and normal when he has a balance of outside activities and meditative activities. Too much of one or the other and he gets restless, like you've described. For my ds, that meditative side gets fed by playing guitar and writing music, and probably when he's on the riding lawnmower as well.
...just a thought...
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vmalott
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Cay Gibson wrote:
| (grocery store type part-time jobs) and they wanted them to be at least 16 to work. <snip> But I think he does need a "job". A serious "job", where he answers to somone else. |
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Cay,
How about a "job" related to basketball? Are there any local "camps" run for younger kids in your area? Could he get into refereeing younger kids' games? Maybe the local Catholic league would allow him to "intern" as a coach's assistant? I don't know what the age requirements for those things are, but it's a shot.
My baseball-obsessed almost 12yo has expressed an interest in going to umpire school next year so he can earn a little money. He plays select travel ball and knows the game well. He also has helped his dad out at our little boys' T-ball practices, so he feels competent and mature enough to call Little League games. And our local ballpark starts the umps out young, at 12. To work concessions there, he would have to be 14. And since it's where our daughter plays softball and DH coaches, it wouldn't be a big hassle. They work around players' schedules and the guy in charge was his basketball coach this winter. Win-win!
Trying to help you think outside the box...
Valerie
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Cathmomof8
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Hi Cay - so nice to 'see' you again. Haven't been on this board in awhile. And hello Lisa R. too! Glad to hear your son is doing well.
May I be the voice of contradiction here? My eldest :( started that restless need to go somewhere/do something all the time thing too and I wish I'd handled it differently. He became someone who could not be doing nothing - music had to be blaring, had to be going somewhere or on computer, etc. He got jobs, did things with friends, ended up at school, etc. I wish I could have helped him to better manage this restlessness.
So I guess I would suggest not a job but daily meditation time - adoration or at home-a time of quiet and stillness-a training ground of sorts; a balance to what does seem like and active day/week. I do like the service idea too though. I liked what I read somewhere the other day that we don't want to raise our boys to be the best they can be/use their talents for themselves but to serve others and bring them to our Lord. I don't think I've fostered this near enough in my boys.
My other thought about jobs - I used to be gung ho about ds getting a job asap. My eldest got a job at the grocery store (mind you this boy was already in a state of rebellion after hsing for 11 years and just starting PS-keep praying for ol Matthew my lost boy) but for him it fed into self-service. He worked,spent all the money on food, music, who knows what, came and went. We've since learned to set some rules with our younger ones - if you are going to work during highschool you will save a certain portion of that for college; you will still have your family obligations to fulfill. When our 15yo worked some hours at the golf course for my ds, he knew ahead of time that we would be putting most all of that money away for college for him or future things. Knowing that ahead of time, there was no animosity and it has worked out well. We've taken money out of that fund for him over the year to buy some bigger items. Our 17yo went to PS this year for the first time as a junior. He is a very quiet kid with me anyway. I actually discouraged him from working through the school year. He was gone enough. He has already pulled himself away from the family, spending most of the time in his room, not going places with us voluntarily, etc. I didn't want him to start working at the grocery store yet either - he had enough secular influences. ;) We're fortunate enough though that he can work at the summer on the golf course with dh and he also works in the pro shop. This boy has plans though. He's already bought himself a car last year, he's going to do post secondary work full time next year at the college instead of just going to the PS high school and he saves his money. Isn't it wonderful how different God makes all of our kids? No wonder I feel like I never know what I'm doing!! ha ha
Well, tha's quite a lot of rambling over my coffee this morning.
Theresia
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4Real Forums : High School Years and Beyond
Topic: Weird Teenage Symptoms
