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Sarah
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| Posted: March 28 2008 at 1:22pm | IP Logged
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My oldest is coming on 12 years old this year. Many families here seem to be abandoning hs-ing about the age of 14 which will soon be upon us. I always pictured myself homeschooling into high school, but lately I think having all these boys around might be harder than I expected. I WANT it to work.
Does anyone have advice, articles, ideas, etc, to share with someone in my boat?
All of a sudden I'm feeling pretty alone with the idea of homeschooling lots of teenaged boys. At the same time I cannot picture they will be better off at the local high school.
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Six boys ages 16, 14, 11, 7, 5, 2 and one girl age 9
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Lisbet
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| Posted: March 28 2008 at 1:28pm | IP Logged
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Oh Sarah I so hear ya! My oldest son just turned 13, and while I have always envisioned us homeschooling all the way through, I'm seeing the same thing as you - most families around here opt for sending their sons to school around 14 or so. For some reason it seems particularly prevalant with boys ~ I have 6 of 'em, and this concerns me.
It's crazy, but we are facing a whole 'nother dilemma right now. My oldest son wants to attend an apostolic school next year, which would mean he would, *gulp* live there. Dh and I are clueless on what to do. I look forward to the responses.
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Mrs.K
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| Posted: March 28 2008 at 10:19pm | IP Logged
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My eldest will graduate in June and his brother is in 9th grade. None of us have ever regretted the decision to hs through high school. The high school years are so important for solidifying all of the formation you've worked at during their younger years. It is also your last chance to all be together for daily family life, and to nuture the sibling relationships as the children mature. It's just so much fun to have my guys around every day and we would all miss them terribly if they 'went to school'. It all goes by so fast - I say keep 'em home and savor every minute. 
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Carole N.
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| Posted: March 29 2008 at 4:39am | IP Logged
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My oldest is finishing his freshman year in high school. He does not want to go to public school. So even though I have had doubts (and I used to be a hs English teacher), I have plodded along. We do not regret this decision. I check periodically with the dc to make sure that there are no other lingering thoughts, but they want to be at home!
As far as curriculum goes, there are so many choices out there for you to choose from. Everyone has to pick what works best for their family, but I believe that if your dc can read, do math, and write, they will do fine in college. My ds has become more independent as a learner (and sometimes this is a bit hard for me). Dh has become a bit more involved in the math area since that is not my strong point.
And our relationships have only become stronger. At least for me, that is what it is all about. When I listened to Elizabeth Foss talk about her relationships with her children, I knew that is what I was striving for as well. My ds has become a very nice young man, someone I would want to have as a friend (he has become a lot like my dh).
Just my 2 pence worth!
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Medieval Mama
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| Posted: March 29 2008 at 9:07am | IP Logged
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I was homeschooled during my highschool years and I'm homeschooling two in highschool now, so I speak as the child and as the parent. Before anyone makes this decision, I have three tips:
1) Read Hold On To Your Kids!
2) Re-read Hold On To Your Kids!
3) Read Hold On To Your Kids, again!
It's no wonder that families are making the decision as their children reach age 14--that's exactly when all hell breaks loose! This book explains exactly why. It's impossible to homeschool our kids if their attachment to us is weak. Here's what Dr. Neufeld says about homeschooling:
Gordon Neufeld - Thoughts on Homeschooled Children>
>
> I don't know exactly where this comes from but it's attributed to
> <http://www.gordonneufeld.com/> Gordon Neufeld.
>
> The prevailing assumption is that the greatest drawback to
> homeschooling is the loss of social interaction with peers. Times
> have changed however, making peer interaction more of a problem than
> an asset. Instead or peer interaction facilitating the process of
> socialization, it is now more likely to lead to the premature
> replacement of adults by peers in the life of a child. Such children
> become peer-oriented rather than adult-oriented and are more
> difficult to parent and teach. Furthermore, peer-oriented children
> fail to mature psychologically and their integration into adult
> society is compromised.
>
> Because of escalating peer orientation it is now the school that has
> become risky business. What was once the most powerful argument
> against homeschooling is now its most persuasive defense. Contrary to
> prevailing concerns, homeschooled children are showing evidence of
> being more mature psychologically, more socially adept, and more
> academically prepared for university. They have become the favored
> applicants of a number of major universities. If current trends in
> society continue, homeschooling may very well become a necessary
> antidote to escalating peer orientation. We may need to reclaim our
> children not only to preserve or recover the context in which to
> teach and parent them, but also for the sake of society at large and
> the transmission of culture.
>
> The developmental needs of children were never paramount in the
> arguments that led to the inception of compulsory education. Indeed,
> there was little that was even understood or known about child
> development at that time. It should not be surprising therefore to
> find that developmental science does not support school as the best
> context for children to learn, to mature, or to become socialized.
> Although the school has become a central institution in our society,
> it is not without risks to emotional health and development.
>
> There are a number of sound arguments that make homeschooling a
> child's best bet. The cultivation and preservation of the child-
> parent attachment is at the fore of these arguments. The attachment
> patterns of children are shifting, largely due to the loss of culture
> and the institutionalization of education. This is sabotaging the
> context necessary for healthy development as well as eroding the
> natural power required for parents to do their job. Attachment is
> also the primary context and motivation for learning. When children
> are more attached to their peers than their parents and their
> teachers then peers become their true teachers. Attachment is also
> the primary mechanism of cultural transmission. We cannot inculcate
> our children with our values and beliefs if we are not the ones they
> get their bearings from or take their cues from.
>
> Another strong argument for homeschooling is the emotional health of
> the child. Developmental science is now putting emotion at the core
> of learning and behavior, including the development of the brain and
> the mind. Children need to have soft hearts, capable of being easily
> touched and moved by that which should affect them. When children are
> not in right relationship with their parents or are prematurely
> subjected to the wounding ways of peer interaction, the resulting
> flight from vulnerability desensitizes them. They lose their
> feelings, at least the more vulnerable ones. Homeschoolers, because
> of their strong relationships to those responsible for them are much
> more likely to have soft hearts and therefore much more likely to
> realize their full potential as human beings. Research bears this out.
>
> Yet another case for homeschooling is the individuation argument. The
> primary purpose of development is for children to become their own
> persons capable of functioning apart from attachments, knowing their
> own minds and having their own goals. It is no secret that
> unsupervised peer interaction crushes individuality and undermines
> the emergence of true selfhood. As Jean Jacque Rousseau said over 200
> years ago, individuation is not only the prerequisite to true
> community but requires a long gestation time in the context of loving
> relationship with a parent. Personhood must be homegrown. The womb of
> individuation is warm and caring attachments to loving parents. If we
> desire our children to realize their true potential as human beings,
> we must hold on to them until they can hold on to themselves.
>
We have to work the relationship first.
Good luck!
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MarilynW
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| Posted: March 29 2008 at 9:16am | IP Logged
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My oldest (dd) will be Grade 7 next year - and I get the question constantly - will you keep homeschooling. I can see it more for my dd than for all the boys.
Medieval Mama - I love your reply! We have the book - my dh has just finished it - so now I get to have it all to myself.
Sometimes I feel so tired though I wonder how to make it through high school!!
I am considering a more formal program though from Grade 7 on - praying for guidance. I think it will be more important to keep to the same plan rather than changing programs.
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Marilyn
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4Real Forums : High School Years and Beyond
Topic: Decision to Continue
