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Cindy
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Hello everyone... I guess I'll start a new topic.. (my first time...)
I can remember myself confidently telling other homeschoolers not to worry about high school.. it is just a continuation of all the Cming we have done up until now. Of course that is when my oldest was, like, 10 and under. But, I had it all figured out. 
Well.. now I am here and I am seeing *change*. I see a son who is changing in the same sort of warp-speed he did from age 18mo to 21 mo.. you know those gigantic leaps that seem to occur when Mom is asleep or on the phone or something?
Well, anyway I was right about one thing. The teen years can be wonderful. It is magical seeing them grow and their minds change and mature. It isn't horrible (all the time..) It reminds me of the bad press that the terrible twos got.. and they weren't terrible... really! ...every stage has its own flavor.. don't you think?
But the kids are growing up. I would like to open up a topic.. I guess "jumping off the cliff" is the best imagery I can think of.
I see this kid changing day to day, one moment paling around like he's 9 the next, discussing current events and I'm having to strain to keep up.. and he's right most of the time and doesn't miss a thing. Well neither does his brother.
As far as the education goes, I am seeing his mind ripe for ideas.... he finds plenty--- and plenty of good ones.. but I would like to feed him more, maybe the stuff he can't find on his own.. and also be the mentor and Aristotle-Mom to help him make connections. How to bring ideas into a family that does not care anymore for read alouds..  How to plan and bring in ideas without getting too rigid.... How to challenge this mind.. that I see just churning and give them fuel to fire and something to sink their teeth into...
Anyone want to jump off with me? 
I was just waiting for this forum, thanks!
Cindy
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Cindy in Texas
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cathhomeschool
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Cindy, I can't add anything as my oldest is 10, but your post was a great reminder to me to cherish the moment. It won't be long before my 10 and 9 yos will be changing just as quickly and I'll wonder where the years went.
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Cindy
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Hi Janette-
Yes.. I know just where you are... and being just a few years ahead on the curve... I can see all that playing, reading, thinking, exploring, talking, discussing, reaching, waiting.... all of it come to fruition as these teen years start up. It is so cool!
I think I may have posted on the CCM list ... it is like seeing the Trivium play out on a big screen cinemaplex movie theater! The kid will say something or make some connection or just be really wise and I can remember the seeds being planted back when they were 4 or 6 or 8 and gathering ramdom bits of information....
It really does work that way.
Ok.. I am rambling.. but I feel like starting over with these kids just for the pure joy of doing it all again.
(yes, you all that have heard me whine over the years know there were rough times, but I would love to do every bit again..)
And, Janette.. I agree.. I'm savoring every day now, too.
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Cindy in Texas
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Cindy
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P.S. Janette..
Thanks for replying to my post. I felt so all alone opening a new topic! 
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Cindy in Texas
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cathhomeschool
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| Posted: Jan 30 2005 at 11:36pm | IP Logged
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Puppychow wrote:
| Thanks for replying to my post. I felt so all alone opening a new topic! |
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LOL! And I was afraid you'd be disappointed because my response wasn't really on-topic! Thank you! 
Puppychow wrote:
| being just a few years ahead on the curve... I can see all that playing, reading, thinking, exploring, talking, discussing, reaching, waiting.... all of it come to fruition as these teen years start up. It is so cool! |
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This is very reasurring to me. Sometimes I second-guess myself and wonder if we're not being systematic enough -- all the holes, you know. Yet I know in my heart that we are doing the right thing and they are learning so much! I'm encouraged to hear first hand that all the hard work really does pay off!
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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Willa
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Puppychow wrote:
Hello everyone... I guess I'll start a new topic.. (my first time...)
As far as the education goes, I am seeing his mind ripe for ideas.... he finds plenty--- and plenty of good ones.. but I would like to feed him more, maybe the stuff he can't find on his own.. and also be the mentor and Aristotle-Mom to help him make connections. How to bring ideas into a family that does not care anymore for read alouds.. How to plan and bring in ideas without getting too rigid.... How to challenge this mind.. that I see just churning and give them fuel to fire and something to sink their teeth into...
Anyone want to jump off with me?
Cindy |
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Dear Cindy:
Books on tape? DH and teenagers were listening to Teaching Company tapes in the car and they were really interested (Lives of Famous Romans).
Radio shows?
I'm sure you do those kinds of things already : )
I know you go to lectures and the like with your sons. I'm looking forward to my season for doing those sorts of things too.
I try to "assign" books that I've loved and thought about, or books that I'm planning to read soon, so we have a common "cultural literacy" or terminology to discuss things -- I can say, "you know how X says about Y" and relate it to what we're talking about now. This also eliminates some of the kinds of arguments that parents and teenagers sometimes engage in because they don't understand each others' language.
About not being too rigid. I try to plan enough only for about 28 weeks of the year and have a list of "maybe" topics that we can pursue if there is interest. To give an example, this year I had a whole stack of literary analysis and worldview books I wanted my oldest Liam to read. In fact he probably won't read them all, but just having them ready gives me flexibility. If something comes up in a discussion, I can choose the next book to "connect" with that theme.
Another thing that works for me is learning from the teenagers. A lot of them develop a "focus" during this time and by asking questions of them and sharing their interest, I not only expand my own horizons but also give them the experience of being the one transmitting enthusiasm and knowledge.
Or we learn some new area together. My daughter and I did a lot of sewing this summer -- both of us pretty much amateurs -- and we also play musical instruments together. Right now we're both focusing on exercising more consistently, and my oldest son and I are both trying to eat better, ie more healthy, so we have discussions about planning meals and the like.
Those are just a few examples. Hope it helps! Oh, Leonie talks about planning courses together and also goal-setting and the little we've done of that really seems to work well too.
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Willa
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Cindy
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This helps a lot Willa.. I still want to go look at the things you uploaded for Liam's transcripts, etc. Let's keep talking about this.. great subject.
Oh.. I vote too to keep a teenage forum.. if I'm not too late..
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Cindy in Texas
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Leonie
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I like Willa's idea of learning from my teenagers.
Cindy, I keep coming back to St John Bosco, in the teen years.
Love those things the children love so they will come to be interested in and love those things that are important to you.
Can you be the Aristotle-mum with the things your sons love? Discuss and analyze games and movies, if that is where they are at.
Critical analysis always looks good on a transcript/resume. 
I find that as I share in my sons' interests, they are more disposed to delve into areas I deem important or interesting.
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Cindy
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<<I find that as I share in my sons' interests, they are more disposed to delve into areas I deem important or interesting.>>
Hi Leonie!
Yes.. you said it so nicely! I find that it is about connetion. If I am truly interested in what they are doing a mutual respect grows and then they are more interested in what I have to share. I never thought I would know so much about computers, Nintendo, Star Wars. etc... I finally had my oldest draw me a chart with all the episode names, numbers, characters, titles so I could get this Star Wars Saga figured out! He was so proud to teach me.. and proud of me when I finally got it and could discuss it intellegently.
One of the best things that helped us was a couple of years ago when we started a boys' book club. The model was to have the parent and child *both* read the book. The boys chose the books. We read the Jedi Apprentice series. Oh my. Hard to read. Short sentences. Luke looked at the alien. So hard.. but I did it and now I know these characters and my boys picked up on that and we had a new world to know together..
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Cindy in Texas
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Willa
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Cindy wrote:
I would like to feed him more, maybe the stuff he can't find on his own.. and also be the mentor and Aristotle-Mom to help him make connections. How to bring ideas into a family that does not care anymore for read alouds..
Cindy |
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Hi Cindy,
Our threads in a different forum made me think of your comment about your boys not caring for read alouds anymore.... you have that particular challenge and joy of having your kids quite close in age so you don't get to use that stealth attack approach that I use sometimes.... you know, I start reading a picture book or a childrens' classic to my youngers and pretty soon everyone's listening in and pretending not to? Then my teenagers either start browsing through the book on their own or start talking about things brought up in those old, well loved books that they'd half forgotten -- making new connections? I actually took a children's lit elective class in junior high and it was so interesting, reading those picture books from a new light.
But one thing that's worked for me with the olders aside from that is reading aloud excerpts. It helps probably that my dh loves to read comments from newspapers and periodicals or from the online conservative message board he goes too -- or sometimes, from classic books he browses through. So I too sometimes either read excerpts, or narrate ideas, from books I am presently reading to the olders. I recently read "Brave New World" which was NOT a book I'd give to one of my teenagers at this point, but is a worthwhile theme and very much connected with some of the ideas I've been trying to have Liam ponder in his last year at home.
So I'd narrate some of the troubling ideas the book deals with, and read or describe some bits to him... my kids don't usually read to me, but sometimes they show me sections they want me to read -- that have struck a chord or made a "connection" with something else.
Choosing one book per year to go through with Brendan at a snail's pace has worked for him. We've done epics.... Iliad, and now Aeneid. Next year we will probably go through at least part of Dante together, I suppose. On the other hand, my daughter and I tried to start Moby Dick together and it just didn't go anywhere. Different personalities and relationships.
I really think teenagers are so much fun -- jumping off a cliff is one analogy, hopefully with a parachute or glider!! but coming out onto a mountain you've seen in the far distance might be another -- yes, you get a little breathless climbing, but the view is both a little frightening AND quite exhilarating. But maybe the cliff one expresses that feeling of not having complete control anymore -- suddenly they are SO much their own persons, and you realize you have to draw back a little to let them take over the glider or whatever themselves!! 
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Willa
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TracyQ
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 Wow Cindy! You and I are very much in the same boat! We have Jake, who's 14, and Zach, who's 12. Then I have Sarah who's 9.
As I read your post, I felt every single feeling you had as you were writing it. In fact, I could have written your entire post probably! They don't mind read alouds, but I can see how they're outgrowing them, and it breaks my heart.
But this is a GREAT time on our journey too! I enjoy the blessings of having them here every day! I know what you mean though, they're playing with army guys and matchbox cars one second, and discussing The Count of Monte Cristo or To Kill a Mockingbird the next. A very interesting time indeed!
I surely hope this forum can stay. I'm really in need of it right now! It's been a very wonderful, yet difficult transition this year!
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wife of Marty for 20 years, mom of 3 wonderful children (1 homeschool graduate, 1 12th grader, and a 9th grader),
 homeschooling in 15th year in Buffalo, NY
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DJohnson
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Hi Cindy, Leonie and all you other ladies!
Long time no chat!
I know what you mean about how fast the kids are growing up. I remember 2 years ago despairing that my now 15ds would ever begin to make connections like other parents said thier kids were. And here he is now, making connections faster than I can keep up! my 12ds is in a combination of "still gathering" and making connections. Both of the boys keep me quite busy with various discussions on so many different topics!
I am so VERY aware of what little time I have left with these incredible young men. This weekend, I came across a picture of my 12ds when he was about 4 and was stunned to realize in my "mind's eye" that I STILL see him as that adorable, blonde, ringlet-capped baby boy!
It is amazing to see them growing up - but it is sad, too. Like Cindy said in an earlier post, I, too, wish with all my heart that I could go back and do it all again just for the sheer joy of it!!
God Bless,
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Cindy
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Hello Donna-
It is so nice to run into you again! We will have fun catching up, especially on our young men who are growing so fast...
I would love to hear more about all the connections you are seeing and how you feel things have changed.
Big Hugs from Texas,
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Cindy in Texas
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Leonie
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Hi Donna,
I have been wondering how things are going with you!
Part of the trust in the teenage years is also a letting go, isn't it?
A letting go of our expectations and thus to allow God to work directly with our dc.
I write this, as my 16 year old and two of his older brothers are in Perth, volunteering for the state election there. I had to explain to the Education Dept rep this week, when she visited our home for our yearly registration visit, that Jonathon wasn't there doing schoolwork - he was volunteering and learning a lot in the community!
We are also packing to mvoe, in two weeks, to the other side of the country - to Sydney - and will be leaving the older three boys here in Adelaide. Another issue of trust.
Reading the Pope's biography this Lent has reminded me of the role that trust and faith have played in his life - and that I can do the same with these growing teen years.
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Cindy
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Leonie wrote:
Part of the trust in the teenage years is also a letting go, isn't it?
A letting go of our expectations and thus to allow God to work directly with our dc.
Reading the Pope's biography this Lent has reminded me of the role that trust and faith have played in his life - and that I can do the same with these growing teen years.
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Hi Leonie-
I am seeing this more and more... letting go of our expectation and let them really become who *they* are. It is a continual letting go, isn't it? But the beauty in what results is greater than seeing *my* plan fulfilled, ykwim?
I wanted to ask what bio you are reading of the pope? I started Witness to Hope years ago and want to get back to it.
The boys and I have been talking about the Holy Father during this illness and I told them how his life seemed to have been laid out just to be our pope. Living in Poland through WWII, losing his own father then and having very little family (and ready to embrace the Church as his family), working with young people, etc.
Do you know of any bio, or article that might be more accessable to teens to read?
Also do you have any recommendation for faith reading for teens, especially during Lent?
All of our faith to this point has been me selecting things to read aloud, Faith and Life and bits and pieces of my reading. We have read an excellent book called The How to Book of the Mass by Our Sunday Visitor, etc.
But the boys have not chosen any of their own. I would like to have a good selection around that they might enjoy.
I enjoy your thoughts so much- especially that of trust- you have given me so much to think about over the years! 
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Cindy in Texas
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Leonie
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Cindy,
I am reading the bio you mentioned - Witness to Hope. Lots to share and discuss with my dc - esp the parts on Vatican 2 and the Pope's embracing of the spirit of V2.
We have a "Catholic" bookshelf - where we keep books of a more spiritual nature, mostly Catholic but not necessarily so.
I ask reading children ( and adults!) to choose a book from that shelf to read during Lent and then again in Advent.
Anything by the Pope is good - Greg is reading one now, I will have to ask him the title!
Jonathon is reading The Gospel According to Snoopy - a look at the Snoopy cartoons with an eye to the Gospels, written by an Anglican.
Alexander chose The Screwtape Letters by C S Lewis - and is now inspired to begin re-reading the Narnia books from an older kids viewpoint - Alexander is 13 1/2.
I think choosing an eclectic mix of books and having them available will help with more spiritual reading. Choosing their own book to read from a pile is good, too - it is always interesting to me to see which book appeals to which son.
Oh, and audio tapes and videos, too - there are many that can help us spiritually. We watched The Good Pope and it had us researching some info about Pope John 23rd. We watched Molokai, about Father Damian.
Maybe having a night for a "Catholic" video night can help our teens with their spiritual life and thought?
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Leonie in Sydney
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Cindy
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The Catholic Shelf is a good idea, Leonie.. and we already have one! In fact in that spirit when I started organizing our books by rough area a few months ago I made no distintion between adult faith books and children's faith books.. they are all there together.
The Snoopy Gospel sounds great! One favorite here was the Comic Book Bible- it is very worn from all the readings.
Think I will suggest they each choose a book. Simple mindset, isn't it.... to just get started. Thanks for the idea.
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Cindy in Texas
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Angie Mc
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Cindy wrote:
| The Catholic Shelf is a good idea, Leonie.. and we already have one! |
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We call ours the Love Shelf, from awesome picture books to heavier apologetics with lots of good stuff in between  .
I'll mention that my 12yo daughter was driven to a (chaperoned) teen funtion by a peer for the first time. I'll never forget waving goodbye to her, closing the door, thinking "this can't be happening yet!" and praying heavily...I think mostly for Mom .
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TracyQ
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It really is nice to know that we can all go through this together, and that we have a group of moms to support and encourage, and who will do the same for us. GROUP HUG.... ((((((((GROUP)))))))) 
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Tracy Q.
wife of Marty for 20 years, mom of 3 wonderful children (1 homeschool graduate, 1 12th grader, and a 9th grader),
homeschooling in 15th year in Buffalo, NY
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living_in_texas
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Hello all you familiar ladies! I just signed up and scanned through these messages. My oldest daughter left bright and early this morning with our nieghbor to volunteer at a week long horse camp. Last night she said she was nervous and I thought, "What about me?"
We also have places dedicated to spiritual books. I like calling a "love shelf."
God Bless you all!
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4Real Forums : High School Years and Beyond
Topic: Jumping off the cliff.......!
