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Jenn Sal
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| Posted: Dec 05 2006 at 8:26pm | IP Logged
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I just found out today that my 5yo should be attending Faith Formation classes at our Church from K-2nd grade to be able to receive First Holy Communion in three years. At that time, you can home school your child. Is it normal for a Church to require this long for a child to prepare for the sacramant?
This doesn't sit well with me and my husband. We educate our children at home every day and have not heard good things regarding the classes.
Has anyone been in this situation? We want to understand where this decision came from. Any advice and information would be appreciated! We want to be prepared before we ask our priest or the Education Director about this. Thank you!!!
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Jennifer, Texas
Wife to Mark, Mom to Cora 13,Kade 10, Sarah in Heaven 12/05, Colette 7, Corin 5, & Kieran 2
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ElizLeone
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| Posted: Dec 05 2006 at 8:40pm | IP Logged
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This link may provide some helpful information on the topic: Keeping It Catholic: Sacramental Preparation Guidelines
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ALmom
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| Posted: Dec 05 2006 at 10:09pm | IP Logged
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Who told you that your 5 yo should be attending Faith Formation Classes - another parent, a general statement in the bulletin, a DRE or the pastor? (rhetorical question not one where I'm trying to nose into the business of your particular parish) Sometimes there is mass confusion. Someone thinks (or misinterprets something) and it turns out that it is not what the bishop and/or the pastor intended but since it is the normal way things are done in the parish and it's easier, no one makes a big deal of pointing out the mistake. If this is the case, it is really easy - you prepare your child and request the Sacrament from your pastor. Is there another homeschooler in your parish: they will often know what is REAL policy and what it is that some would like you to believe is real policy.
If it is the local pastor, then you may want to assess the probability of getting a fair and generous hearing for your concerns (ie if he has been lambasting the Holy Father or the local Bishop that tells you one thing. If he has been known to follow the rubrics of the Mass, give solid homilies and otherwise inspire confidence in his desire to be obedient, then that tells you something else). In the first case, you might decide to switch parishes now or pursue things through the bishop (though you almost always have to approach the pastor first in this case). If the second is true, then you may really want to try and sort out what is what with the pastor. Express your concerns with the pastor first - in a charitable and humble way, being willing to cooperate in anything not harmful to your children. Show him whatever documents have left you concerned, etc. Express your concerns about the class (but don't just use hearsay - get your hands on materials, listen in on a class, etc. )and also any other logistical or family things that make this not feasible for you and see what happens. We've had things clarified for us when, in fact, a priest thought he was having to act a certain way in obedience to the bishop and when he took our concerns to the bishop (because he was equally troubled by our sources) found out the bishop never said any such thing. Not only were we relieved - but this priest made sure that the correction was published for everyone's benefit. It was all an attempt to be obedient to their vows on the part of the clergy. How the bishops wishes got garbled in transmission is anyone's guess. This very well could be the situation. If you have good sources of the code of canon law, or other explanatory texts from Vatican sources, this may help. There are several publications, question and answer sites (Adoremus is a great source)but know that often the clergy are as confused as we are (there are so many special rules and exceptions for N. America that it really is hard for them to keep straight what is what - and if it is hard for them, I assume it is doubly hard for me, coupled with short bites that sometimes misrepresent the policies and rules) but really trying to do the right thing.
If not either of the above, and it really is some diocesan policy, then you do always have the right to appeal to higher authority (if you felt a need to go this route there are associations of canon lawyers that will advise you as the intent is not to create problems but to achieve justice and protect your child). Whether you do so or not is, of course, a decision made with care and would depend a great deal on how bad the program is. Save documents, indications, etc. as much as possible so you are not dealing with hearsay. With younger children, I refuse to leave them in any kind of class where I am not welcome to attend with them.
I am not a canon lawyer or even a lawyer, but I have always understood that in the balance of rights and responsibilities, the pastor is obligated to determine readiness for the sacrament and the parent is the one primarily responsible for determining the manner of educating the child. In this case, the pastor cannot deny sacraments for any reason except lack of readiness. He cannot deny access to the Sacrament because your child did not attend parish RE - but he can deny the Sacrament if your child shows no ability to distinguish the difference between the Eucharist and common bread and wine. A simple interview with a parent present is all that was ever required of us for First Communion (sometimes Father sent us to the DRE for the interview or other times he sent us on after he had already determined that our child was ready just to work out logistics of when, etc. We tried to listen to any advice from the DRE but if it was flakey, we ignored it.
My understanding is that cases have been won where the sacraments were denied due to lack of RE participation at the parish and the child's right to the sacrament upheld by the Vatican.
However, in my experience, the pastor is hardly ever the instigator of these strange things. He delegates a lot to the DRE and things churn along comfortably until someone unusual comes along (ie a homeschooler). Often the tension is caused because the DRE thinks the pastor requires things a certain way, when he really doesn't. With a good relationship with the pastor, we have never had any trouble with the sacraments even when the DRE seems to imply that we have to do certain programs. The pastor is the one ultimately responsible in the parish so he is the one to approach when your child is ready - or in this case when you have been told something that sounds erroneous.
Janet
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Michaela
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| Posted: Dec 05 2006 at 11:27pm | IP Logged
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Jenn Sal wrote:
| Has anyone been in this situation? We want to understand where this decision came from. |
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We have two parishes within five minutes of each other.
The parish we attend only requests a parent w/ child attend a meeting six weeks before receiving the sacrament. The DRE hands out books & the four questions WITH answers the child will be asked at an interview. So, our parish leaves the educating up to the parents with a very short study time.
The parish five minutes away has rules. 
Not sure if it's from the DRE or Pastor.
Looks like two years of Faith Formation at that parish.
Here's what I found on their website
FIRST PENANCE AND FIRST EUCHARIST
Children grades 2 and higher, who have one year of prior Faith Formation, may prepare to receive First Penance (celebrated on December 1), and First Eucharist (celebrated on April 22). If your child is just beginning their faith formation, enroll them in our Sunday classes and wait until next year to receive these sacraments. To register for sacraments, you must attend the parent meeting on September 17, 2006, 10 am, Gym.
http://www.cabrini.us/parish/FAITH%20FORMATION.htm
That parish is much more organized/structured. Our Faith Formation is free...their's has a fee.
I believe it's up to each parish....probably the DRE. I know their DRE is very serious about Faith Formation.
Our parish seems to.....tolerate it. 
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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Michaela
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| Posted: Dec 05 2006 at 11:46pm | IP Logged
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Jenn Sal wrote:
| At that time, you can home school your child. |
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Maybe you could make an appt to talk to your pastor about this.
Another angle, but I might be barking up the wrong tree here.
I read an article....it's long, however it contains info about homeschooling vs. Catholic schools. It doesn't specifically mention Faith Formation, but this part of the article could relevant.
The role of the pastor, therefore, is to give a service of assistance by providing the parents with the means to form their child. The parents, however are not obliged to accept this assistance if they prefer to exercise exclusively their obligation and right to educate their own children. This is a natural right, and is not altered by the right of the Church. E.g., cc. 793, 914. (emphasis added)
Article
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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mrsgranola
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Jenn, I think you aren't very far from me, right? PM me and I bet we can sort out what the real deal is by networking with others in the area. The diocese doesn't have any such rule. In fact, our new Bishop Burbidge seems extremely homeschooling-friendly, IMHO.
JoAnna, who's been up late wrapping presents!
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Jenn Sal
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| Posted: Dec 08 2006 at 11:50am | IP Logged
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Thank you everyone, for your replies! There is HOPE!!! I spoke to the Diocese of Raleigh and they were extreemly helpful. I have my hands on the Sacramental Guidelines now. I also spoke with two other parishes DRE's and they have wonderful options for home schooling your children. Worst case, we change our parish.
My husband and I are putting all of this great information together, so that we can present it to our DRE and priest. We hope that we can make a difference for the growing home schooling population, as well as, for those who may have children with special needs or just simply want ot provide religious education at home.
Keep us in your prayers. We are taking this as a calling.
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Jennifer, Texas
Wife to Mark, Mom to Cora 13,Kade 10, Sarah in Heaven 12/05, Colette 7, Corin 5, & Kieran 2
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marihalojen
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| Posted: Dec 13 2006 at 9:28am | IP Logged
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Jennifer, I've definitely been in this situation!
We move frequently and each new parish has insisted on a year or two of RE before First Holy Communion. But we haven't stayed long enough in one place! And each new place would want Marianna to start over at the beginning for some lame excuse - the books used were different, our instructor is sooo much better than theirs, etc...  I didn't even want to try again here, I was just so tired of the whole scene. Then I found out that they were using Blest Are We but I went ahead and sent Marianna - for "socilization" not instruction. (guess who's instructing who? ) She's been sharing with them all the things we do like Feast Day Fun, the Rosary, even Saint Gertrude's Prayer and the O Antiphons, the list goes on...so the result of this is that when I alerted the DRE of our next move which should come before their FHC was scheduled she was completely open to Marianna making her First Communion individually. She had made her presence known, speaking up in class, hanging with other kids and just generally not behaving like certain people thought homeschoolers should.
I guess this is a longwinded way of saying you definitely have my prayers and sympathy!
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~Jennifer
Mother to Mariannna, age 13
The Mari Hal-O-Jen
SSR = Sailing, Snorkling, Reading
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Topic: Faith Formation required for sacrament
