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tovlo4801
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| Posted: May 12 2005 at 10:04am | IP Logged
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I just had to share a minor unschooling victory from our house.
This forum has made me really see that I might have some strong unschooling tendencies at heart. I've always seen the value in letting my kids explore the world and playing what they want to play, but it never translated into the way I handled school with them.
Ever since this topic began here, I've been very seriously thinking to what level I'm comfortable giving unschooling a try. Last week I approached the subject with my son and he was a little terrified. He didn't think it would be a very good idea at all! I was quite surprised, but understood that he had grown used to my tight controls on what school is. I dropped the subject, but began to quietly drop scheduled things. By mid-week this week I wasn't really doing anything scheduled at all. My son was having a lot more time to fill with his own choices. Yesterday morning he finally came to me and said "What are we doing for school today?". I asked him what he wanted to do. He thought for a minute and then hopefully said, "A nature walk?" To understand why I had to use every bit of my energy to keep a straight face and keep myself from falling off the chair, you have to understand that I've been trying for a year now to figure out how to get my kids to WANT to go on a nature walk. They have had NOOOO interest in this at all. I casually suggested that maybe we should stop at Target on the way and pick up some notebooks and art supplies and do some drawing too. He grabbed that idea as his own and thought it was a great one. I mentioned a hunt and again he thought it was a great idea. I found a nature hunt online and printed it out. We went to the library and checked out a book on good places near our city to go for hikes and picked a place we'd never gone before. The kids were disappointed when we got there and the recreation area the book described was not a play area, but just a volleyball pit. But they hit the trails in hopes that the play area was somewhere else along the trail. We were stopping every 5 minutes or so to create on paper the sights discovered to fulfill the nature hunt. They were veering from the trail to explore the wooded areas and gathering walking sticks that doubled as bows to shoot arrows at the invisible predators stalking us.  It was a blast!!! It never would have happened if I hadn't just let go and let him choose.
Today HE found a game online that dropped letters from the sky. He had to key the letters he saw dropping from the sky quickly before they went off the page. Great for keyboarding skills. Then he decided that he wanted to know more about tornados so we dug around the internet and found some good kid friendly sites. I let him explore the sites and then he told me about what he found - (narrated). He was still bored and now is on a mad hunt for a good game for us to play together.
I'm still not sure I can do this all the time, but I definitely see the value in regular unschooling respites if nothing else.
Nick is pulling at me to play Scrabble now and my little one has found Guess Who and wants to play that as soon as Scrabble is done.
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juliecinci
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| Posted: May 12 2005 at 11:19am | IP Logged
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Woo-hoo! Awesome.
I had meant to post something I learned from Sandra Dodd, one of the unschooling gurus on the big yahoo list. She says that instead of a big announcement that changes how life is lived, simply start dropping scheduled activities, spend all your time with your kids and say "yes" more often.
Those three principles helped me transition.
They also say on that list not to do anything you don't believe in and to go slowly, only letting go of one thing at a time. Those principles helped me a lot.
Your nature walk sounded wonderful!
Julie
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Julie
Homeschooling five for fourteen years
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Elizabeth
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| Posted: May 12 2005 at 1:27pm | IP Logged
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 Sounds great Richellle! Woudl you post a link to the nature hunt?
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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tovlo4801
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| Posted: May 12 2005 at 6:35pm | IP Logged
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Thanks for the support guys. 
The nature hunt I found was at this site:
earth day nature hunt
Julie, can you let me know the name of the unschooling yahoo group? I might pick up some useful ideas lurking there. 
Thanks again for the encouragement!
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juliecinci
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| Posted: May 12 2005 at 6:49pm | IP Logged
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unschoolingdiscussion@yahoogroups.com
Here's the direct link: Unschooling on Yahoo
They are great ladies but I highly recommend lurking, especially at first. They don't mind free-wheeling (translation: direct challenge) conversations. 
Julie
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Julie
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tovlo4801
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| Posted: May 12 2005 at 9:37pm | IP Logged
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thanks julie. I did get the impression that lurking might be the best approach after the original conversations here on unschooling.  But I do appreciate the confirmation of that guess.
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Elizabeth
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| Posted: May 13 2005 at 8:04am | IP Logged
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juliecinci wrote:
I had meant to post something I learned from Sandra Dodd, one of the unschooling gurus on the big yahoo list. She says that instead of a big announcement that changes how life is lived, simply start dropping scheduled activities, spend all your time with your kids and say "yes" more often.
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These three steps sound like the perfect antidote to burnout as well.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Courtney
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| Posted: May 13 2005 at 8:37am | IP Logged
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That's what I was thinking, Elizabeth. I struggle with this and the guilt of not wanting to spend ALL my time with them. I look forward to this discussion on the other topic you just started.
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Courtney in Texas
Wife to Mike since 3/94 
Mom to Candace 10/97,Christopher 4/00 and Connor 11/11
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Leonie
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| Posted: May 14 2005 at 3:49am | IP Logged
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Way to go, Richelle! I bet your nature walk was fun
( oh, and educational! )
Courtney, I find that when I make more time to be with my kids, then I *want* to spend more time with my kids. It is sort of a connect the dots circle.
Recently, this focusing on being with dh and the boys has been part of a perpetual novena I am making to St Anthony. Praying about my intention and purpose keeps me resolved and God leads me in little ways to more enjoyment in talking about Star Wars for the fifth time today ( a current example! lol!)
Leonie in Sydney
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tovlo4801
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| Posted: May 14 2005 at 5:32pm | IP Logged
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Leonie wrote:
Recently, this focusing on being with dh and the boys has been part of a perpetual novena I am making to St Anthony. Praying about my intention and purpose keeps me resolved and God leads me in little ways to more enjoyment in talking about Star Wars for the fifth time today ( a current example! lol!)
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Leonie,
Would you mind sharing a little more about this here or in a seperate post? I was looking for advice on how to re-arrange my day to focus more on my dh and of course my foray into unschooling has made me take a much closer look at how I spend time with my kids. Perhaps the obvious thing I've been missing is a concrete way of praying to God for the grace to do these things better. If you're open to sharing I'd love to hear more about what you're doing.
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Leonie
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| Posted: May 14 2005 at 10:28pm | IP Logged
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Richelle,
I am more than happy to share my little insight to this right now and I hope that others will share their experience,too. But can I do this later? I am off to make poppadums for an Indian Sunday lunch - talk about rabbit trails - an Indian Sunday lunch inspired by the movie Bride and Prejudice ( a great movie,btw, I recommend it if you like Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice and the BBC version of the same. We have all gone Austen mad as a result of the Bollywood Bride and Prejudice!)
Leonie in Sydney
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Leonie
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| Posted: May 15 2005 at 6:58pm | IP Logged
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Hi Richelle,
Bear in mind that I am still on my journey in order to re-commit to my family.
These things are helping me make my focus that of spending more time with dh and the kids :
- prayer - a morning novena prayer. This helps my resolve and I believe that many opportunites are given to me as a result of the prayer.
- looking at my day and seeing where I can peg in more prayer time ( for me, contemplation is part of this idea of *being* with my family ). I also looked at my day and expectations - iow, do I have the expectation that this is MY time and other things are interruptions or do I have the expectation that my time is God's and that my family comes first and all else is a bonus. Now, I still have time to myself for exercise and reading and internet ( and on last Friday evening - a Mother's Night Out with other homeschoolers  ) - but my expectations of my time are different. Don't know if I am explaining this properly!
- reading - re-reading A Mother's Rule of Life and Homeschooling With Gentleness, as these books help me with my vocation and with my resolution and contemplation. Reading Witness To Hope, about Pope John Paul 2, reminded me that that this Pope was able to make everyone with whom he met feel special - as though their concerns were of utmost importance. If a Pope could do that, with all his duties and responsibilities, surely I can do that for my dh and children.
Also, reading Reaping the Harvest by Diana Waring has brought home to me the ways and means and why fors of spending time with the dc - a quote - " When you come to the realization that your children are worth every bit of time, every bit of expense, every bit of effort, every bit of what you have to offer, THEN you are ready to pour yourself and your heritage into your children. It is the work of a lifetime, the work of a master craftsman, the work worth doing."
- I have also read about St Clothilde and have been using her example as an example of choosing to be a wife as part of my vocation. I hope to look into other married saints!
Leonie in Sydney
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tovlo4801
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| Posted: May 18 2005 at 10:05am | IP Logged
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Leonie,
Thank you so much for sharing this. I gleaned a lot from what you shared.
Leonie wrote:
- prayer - a morning novena prayer. This helps my resolve and I believe that many opportunites are given to me as a result of the prayer. |
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Is there a particular prayer that you find helps you in focusing on your family? You mentioned St. Anthony before I believe. I couldn't find anything that specifically spoke to this concern in my quick search. Do you feel it is just that time of prayer or is it the particular novena you are praying?
Leonie wrote:
| I also looked at my day and expectations - iow, do I have the expectation that this is MY time and other things are interruptions or do I have the expectation that my time is God's and that my family comes first and all else is a bonus. |
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This struck me hard. My dh and I are just finishing up a Catholic couples study on finances. The thing that most impressed me during the study was a section from the Catechism.
#2446 "Not to enable the poor to share in our goods is to steal from them and deprive them of life. The goods we possess are not ours, but theirs."
It just brought home where the study was leading. That we have been given the means to care for our own needs by God, but then anything beyond that given to us has been given to provide for other's needs. If we take that money and use it on ourselves instead, then we have stolen from God. What you're saying seems a little bit like that and I'm going to have to think hard on this. I do see my day as MINE. But how much of my day have I stolen from God when that time was meant to be shared in service to others? HMMMmmm.... going to have to seriously consider this one.
Leonie wrote:
- reading - re-reading A Mother's Rule of Life and Homeschooling With Gentleness, as these books help me with my vocation and with my resolution and contemplation. Reading Witness To Hope, about Pope John Paul 2, reminded me that that this Pope was able to make everyone with whom he met feel special - as though their concerns were of utmost importance. If a Pope could do that, with all his duties and responsibilities, surely I can do that for my dh and children.
Also, reading Reaping the Harvest by Diana Waring has brought home to me the ways and means and why fors of spending time with the dc - a quote - " When you come to the realization that your children are worth every bit of time, every bit of expense, every bit of effort, every bit of what you have to offer, THEN you are ready to pour yourself and your heritage into your children. It is the work of a lifetime, the work of a master craftsman, the work worth doing."
- I have also read about St Clothilde and have been using her example as an example of choosing to be a wife as part of my vocation. I hope to look into other married saints! |
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Thanks for the suggestions of books. Some I have read, but perhaps need to re-read. I've ordered Homeschooling with Gentleness and am anxiously waiting for it to get here! I've thought a lot about JPII as well. He is a challenge for me. I feel so incapable of his level of self-giving and humbleness.
Anyway, thanks Leonie for giving of yourself in answer to this question. I truly appreciate it.
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Marybeth
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| Posted: May 20 2005 at 3:01pm | IP Logged
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Reading this thread helped my day tremendously!!! I met an old friend who like me has only one child. She was asking about what we have been doing lately. I found myself getting annoyed as she didn't seem to "get it" that we like to be home and just be together. I was feeling very guilty that I haven't taken my son to every museum in Chicago and experienced a new place with him everyday. I can't seem to work my life that way. I have my home to care for and dinner to make each evening. I don't have the funds for an outing per day even with just one child. I mean I know this woman loves her son...she just likes to be out and about all day.
Thank you all for sharing your insights. You woman are all truly inspiring to me. Marybeth
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Topic: unschooling success!!
