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Lissa
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In our last go-round, we established that unschooling is a slippery term to define. If you poke around the internet you’ll find a broad spectrum of folks who consider themselves "unschoolers" and a great deal of opinionated writing about what exactly that means. Some ‘takes’ on the subject (such as that espoused on the Taking Children Seriously [TCS] website) advocate against parental limit-setting of any kind.
Most of us here are Catholics, and we recognize certain limits as good and necessary. Many of us have found that when we describe ourselves as unschoolers to other Catholics, their reaction is full of dismay or skepticism. Sometimes this is because they are interpreting ‘unschooling’ as incorporating the principles of ‘non-coercive parenting’ (NCP) or TCS (which differs from most Catholic unschoolers’ interpretation of the concept). Sometimes the skepticism is born of concerns about a "child-led" or "delight-directed" education/lifestyle. These are concerns which can be discussed in a charitable manner, and this particular topic thread is a place for that discussion. Perhaps no one cares to tackle it right now, and that’s fine! We’ve got other threads going which are focused on sharing HOW unschooling works for us as opposed to debating whether it OUGHT to. *This* thread is intended for the what and the why of the philosophy, the general rather than the specific or practical. If you’ve come to this forum for encouragement and support, please don’t miss the other threads!
One more thought—speaking for myself—I am by no means an expert on what unschooling is or isn't, nor how well it 'works' (if such a qualifier even applies), nor what it looks like in individual homes. I can only speak to how things work in *my* home (and my children are all still quite young; the oldest is not yet ten). I am eager to learn from the collective wisdom of this group! 
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living_in_texas
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Hi Lissa! You are right on all levels, at least imo . I just wanted to comment that while I consider my self an unschooler, I do not consider myself an unschooler.com, iykwim. The fringe seems to have taken over the label and I would like to see us take it back  . Learning can be natural and child-led while still repecting the duty and obligation of parenting.
I did want to ask if non-coersive parenting creates feelings of skeptism or dismay, does that mean coersive parenting is an acceptable practice among Catholics?
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Cindy
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Lissa wrote:
In our last go-round, we established that unschooling is a slippery term to define. If you poke around the internet you’ll find a broad spectrum of folks who consider themselves "unschoolers" and a great deal of opinionated writing about what exactly that means. Some ‘takes’ on the subject (such as that espoused on the Taking Children Seriously [TCS] website) advocate against parental limit-setting of any kind.
Most of us here are Catholics, and we recognize certain limits as good and necessary. Many of us have found that when we describe ourselves as unschoolers to other Catholics, their reaction is full of dismay or skepticism. |
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Lissa-
This is very well put, and I thank you for such a positive opening to the discussion and forum!
I agree that first glance at unschooling can be unsettling to a Catholic mom because of the secular and other 'takes' on it. I was for me. I have read some other unschool lists that made me want to run the other way. 
I just chatted with Sabine about labels. (Hi Sabine! ) Why take on a label? If you do, why worry about what others think of it? ? Who cares if someone gets the wrong impression as long as we are secure in what we are doing?
I think we don't care what others think, but we do. We do when we meet a new homeschooler or a mom who perhaps is burned out on trying to follow others' rules for teaching and looking for a way to focus on her family and the natural learning unschooling can offer. But upon hearing the term 'unschooler' immediately misunderstands the person or has misperceptions about what unschooling is and can be, within our faith.
When I think of our rich Catholic faith, I don't think of rules, but I think of the fullness of truth, the wealth of resources, our infinite chances at grace and our ability to ask Jesus to help and guide us at every turn. We do have certain guidelines that are non-neogotiables in our relationship with Mother Church and Christ. Thank God! But, Jesus was a gentle teacher, wanting us to really *know* him and unschooling gives us that chance to use all the resources around us to really *know* our children. Why can't our learning lifestyle reflect the same things?
I see Catholic unschooling as allowing us to focus on our interests, personalities, strengths and following natural paths of learning. We can do that and grow virtue and our faith at the same time.
If we choose unschooling, we don't have to confine our lifestyle to anyone else's definition - including other unschoolers- if that does not fit us.
I see Catholic unschooling as giving us immense freedom within a comforting sturcutre of our faith. What better way to live and learn and really know our children?
I have activly sought another 'label' just because I didn't like having to explain this one every time I uttered it. But maybe we can re-define it as we go and it may be the norm!
Thank you again for stepping up to moderate. Lissa- and opening the thread, Elizabeth. I know I have had to work out many, many concerns and difficulties with the unschooling lifestyle. I could only have done that in an atmosphere of trust and with women who were truly seeking to know more and open to discussion- and who were ready to lift others up.
That is the trusting environment I believe the moderators on this list are striving for and what can make a forum like this really work. None of us are perfect and all we can do is believe the best in others' intent- which is part of our faith!
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Cindy
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living_in_texas wrote:
Learning can be natural and child-led while still repecting the duty and obligation of parenting.
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Right on, Sabine!
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Cindy in Texas
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Willa
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living_in_texas wrote:
I did want to ask if non-coersive parenting creates feelings of skeptism or dismay, does that mean coersive parenting is an acceptable practice among Catholics? |
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Hi Sabine! I have to laugh because though I don't usually call myself an unschooler, I have been wondering the same thing. "Coercive" doesn't exactly sum up my ideal of parenting. I suppose "non-coercive" has acquired some negative baggage just like "taking children seriously" (another practice I believe in, in itself!) because some people would say that asking my kids to sit quietly through weekly Mass, or help with mealtime chores, is coercive. BUt certainly, I always work hard to engage my kids' own will and motivation and work from the level they are at, because what's the point of passive obedience? It's not really virtue.
Thanks for re-opening the thread, Lissa and Elizabeth and everyone. I did have one question. Well, I have a lot of questions actually but this is one that came up during the "First Take". A lot of people defined unschooling as being a matter of following topics of interest of the moment. Now I could see theoretically how this could lead to a complete educational experience in the long run, like a toddler grazing and nibbling leads to a balanced diet over the course of a week or so. But I guess I like to have some general idea of where we are going over the course of a year or 12 years, which can be modified and flexed, yes, but can also be planned for to some degree.
So to carry on the food metaphor, my toddlers get to snack on a variety of things we have around the house, but at dinnertime I'd prefer not to make 9 different meals for 9 different people. In fact, I have a meal rotation which I deviate from as required but which keeps me from panicking and ordering out at 5 pm every day. I encourage the kids to eat a bit even of the things they don't like, though I don't make a giant power struggle of it.
Can you do this kind of thing with education and still be an unschooler? That is, plan ahead and expect the kids to try a bite of each "dish" but be flexible in between, offering lots of options for supplementary learning and also be willing to switch and compromise on the "main courses" if something is *really* not working? Or is this sort of missing the point?
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Willa
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ladybugs
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Willa wrote:
Can you do this kind of thing with education and still be an unschooler? That is, plan ahead and expect the kids to try a bite of each "dish" but be flexible in between, offering lots of options for supplementary learning and also be willing to switch and compromise on the "main courses" if something is *really* not working? Or is this sort of missing the point? |
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Hi Willa,
I'm chiming in here...my rather inexperienced self - not because I have the experience but because I have an idea.
I think in what you ask you can be an unschooler - especially if the ownership for learning factor is there. Even though my children are young, I have sat down with them and said, "What do you want to learn about?" Oh my, the list was long and as many of us on a budget know, trying to facilitate some of those ideas can be challenging....
I don't think I'm describing this very well, but what I am trying to say is that, I think that if there is open communication, ownership and agreement towards the goal, that counts as unschooling....I think it was Sabine who said that the fringe has given unschooling a bad name. To me, the beauty of unschooling is that it is flexible and sees learning in multiple ways. Just as there are multiple personalities, there are multiple ways to learn.
I've often thought of the various saints and the Holy Spirit. Maybe I'm taking a great liberty, but it seems to me that scriptually we are told that there are many gifts but the same Spirit. Why shouldn't that philosophy apply toward learning styles?
Well, I've so taken the long way - the scenic route - shall we say and what I wrote was more of a ramble...
My dh came home and took the children to the park...see what happens when I have time to post?
I'll go now...
Love,
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Maria P
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Natalia
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When I hear about unschooling what makes me nervous is not the parenting style associated with it or the philosophy behind it (even though I care about philosophies). What makes me nervous is plain fear of not teaching my kids enough or not teaching them the right things.
I believe that kids learn more if you engage them in the learning process. I also can see how when they learn the way that it has been talked about here, they are learning much more that content. But in the back of my mind I have that nagging feeling: would they be doing enough?
It seems that a lot of you have made the commitment to homeschool all the way. I want to but I am not sure if our circumstances are going to allow us to hs. So, what if I ended up having to put my kids in school would they be ready if they follow their interest? That is the central issue for me.
I am glad to see this discussion going on here. As a result I have started researching on the internet and reading some. I am reading right now a book by J. T. Gatto and I have to say that I find his ideas exciting but a bit extreme. I would like to post some questions that this reading has generated some time but I am not sure it is appropriate to the scope of this forum.
Blessings,
Natalia
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Lissa
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Quote:
| I would like to post some questions that this reading has generated some time but I am not sure it is appropriate to the scope of this forum. |
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I'm loving this discussion!! So many things I'm eager to respond to but no time right now--but I wanted to jump in quickly and say by all means post your questions, Natalia. Either here in this thread or you can start a specifically Gatto thread, whatever you like. Gatto does raise lots of questions & I'd love to tackle some of them! Thanks--
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juliecinci
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Willa, I liked your question about whether or not you can "guide" some of the learning so that you aren't in nine places at once.
We have found that our read aloud times are all as a group (I'm not reading four different books to individual children) and we tend to sit at the table and work on projects at the same time (we might do lapbooks or an art project or freewrite or something like that).
As far as history goes, I usually follow my own interests there and simply supply good library books and then read things to the kids as a general group. We did follow Story of the World last year and they enjoyed that as part of our read aloud time.
The difference for me now in unschooling is that if passion or curiosity isn't ignited, I move on to something else and don't feel locked in. I also give more lattitude to individual children.
For instance, I am reading Loamhedge aloud but have one child who really doesn't like Redwall. She and I read a different book (Little House) in a private time. During Redwall, she plays on the computer or does her own art project or something else. This is the first time we have two books going for different kids at the same time. Usually everyone is fine with the same book.
We take hikes together, we might do nature journaling at the same time, we've done an entire book of drawing lessons together, we all bird watch and so on. I don't think unschooling has to mean everyone is running an individual existence. On the other hand, I don't require anyone to participate in things they really don't care about.
Personal interests do take precedence, but I also don't feel it is my job to teach everything. We hve some outside lessons and lots of personal study going on too.
Hth,
Julie
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Leonie
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I find Catholic unschooling to be hard to define.
I think family centred learning, community and real life involvement, children being persons, masterly inactivity, living and loving and learning and praying and sharing the sacraments together, when I think of Catholic unschooling.
All of these are kind of nebulous - it is very hard for me to separate my educational philosophy from my faith and from everything else I do in life.
It is all kind of inter-related.
So, for me, Catholic unschooling is somewhat nebulous and hard to pin down. How I homeschool is also hard to pin down. How my children have learned to read and write and co-operate ( most of the time  ) is hard to pin down.
It has all worked out, over time and with difficulties and with joys. Like a piecemeal patchwork quilt. There has been no one way or recipe, apart from the guidelines of our Faith ( and even there, I only converted when my eldest son was twelve, so that has been part of the learning - he was confirmed before I was! My dh is a Cradle Catholic ).
All of this is why I often don't call myself an unschooler IRL - I am not sure if I can describe what I mean by that term to a casual aquaintance at a homeschool meeting. And I have a "thing" about being labelled!
If anything, Catholic unschooling is following the Faith and *not following a recipe, for us.
I know that no-one here is following a recipe , or even wanting a homeschool recipe! So, I hope I haven't offended anyone with my LONG post. But because our homeschooling is so closely tied to who we are, to Catholicism, to where we are; Catholic homeschooling and Catholic unschooling become hard for me to describe.
I think I'd better stop right there.
Leonie in Sydney
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Mary G
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When I think of unschooling, of oding it with my own, I worry as someone else mentioned, that everything wouldn't get covered, how do you record what's been done, etc. But then I realize, that like homeschooling generally, doing what I think is best for MY kids, (after prayerful consideration, of course) is what I'm supposed to be doing -- whether it's CM (which can be considered anathema to some Catholics), Unit Studies, unschooling, classical, whatever.
Here's an analogy --
I'm a hand-knits designer. I don't knit like anyone else. I don't use the yarns that the big mags use. I design my own stuff (I've been doing this since I was 8 and taught myself to knit). So, some might say "well, she's not a knitter by my definition". But so what? I know I'm a knitter by my definition, some buy my designs, some love my work.....I'm doing what God gave me the talent to do.
So, whether I want to call myself an unschooler or not, I'm going to lead the kids (whether I have the resources and let them loose, buy a book and read it to them, or tie them to the chair and make them do workbook pages )to learn all that I think they should learn.....
This is a great topic because like an earlier one about KiC's view of CM, unschooling is misunderstood and that is so counter-rpoductive to what we're all trying to do here -- bring our children up in the Faith and help them get started on their path where God wants them.
I'm learning so much from this thread and appreciate all the input from all sides.
Thanks and Blessings!
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MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)
my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
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Willa
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Maria wrote:
"I've often thought of the various saints and the Holy Spirit. Maybe I'm taking a great liberty, but it seems to me that scriptually we are told that there are many gifts but the same Spirit. Why shouldn't that philosophy apply toward learning styles? "
Leonie wrote that unschooling is like a patchwork quilt or cooking without over-reliance on a recipe. Mary G wrote that unschooling is like custom hand knitting.
Those analogies help me understand better what you all are trying to communicate. You are all talking about custom tailoring, creativity and an eye for uniqueness in the situation.
Julie, you described how your family meets to learn together, but also separates to pursue individual learning, and how your role is a supportive, guiding one not a "coercive" one. I really like all your unschooling posts by the way!
Now I notice that if these analogies and comparisons carry through, you don't just toss aside all the educational wisdom of the ages. For example, I usually cook by instinct nowadays rather than from a book but I use basic principles of complementary spices, etc. Similarly, if you are a knitter or a quilter you are going to use some ground rules for knitting and sewing.
The Holy Spirit works in us all differently but He doesn't tell anyone to be an ax murderer.... the unique part builds on the common ground. The unique promptings build on the general part that's true of us all.
SO I'm trying to figure out something about unschooling that often seems puzzling from the "outside". Lissa wrote in Take One that unschooling eludes definition but it is still an important term because it expresses an approach and way of thinking.
I'm not trying to pin down the mystery and beauty of the approach, because I've felt for years that in homeschooling there is "something else", something mysterious that makes the total more than the sum of the obvious parts, and perhaps this is what you are describing in your analogies.
But I also think, having cyber-familiarity with some of your approaches for several years, that you are talking not about throwing aside the wisdom of the ages but about taking it and applying it in such a way as to elicit the responsiveness and active engagement of your children in their discipline and learning.
For some reason that's important to me, in considering what unschooling is like to a Catholic family. I know there's more to it than that, probably, but for me, that's a start.
I apologize for all the long analysis, it's partly just to help me try to think it out and if I've gone off track, please do make a comment 
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Willa
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Willa
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Natalia wrote:
But in the back of my mind I have that nagging feeling: would they be doing enough?
It seems that a lot of you have made the commitment to homeschool all the way. I want to but I am not sure if our circumstances are going to allow us to hs. So, what if I ended up having to put my kids in school would they be ready if they follow their interest? That is the central issue for me.
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Natalia,
Just to offer you the perspective of a "sometimes-unschooler". In the thread on classical education, I talked about how chaotic my homeschool has been for many years. My 5yo has been in and out of hospitals for many months of his life, sometimes quite desperately ill and in a distant city. Plus I've had several very complicated pregnancies, etc. In a way this has frustrated my desire to have things stable and predictable; in another way it has been a blessing because it has forced my husband and I again and again to re-commit to the idea that homeschooling is about more than just academics.
That part is just context. Also, I share your desire for an "excellent" homeschool. But it just occured to me while I was pondering your question that Leonie, MacBeth, Lissa and Elizabeth -- the "unschoolers" I know the best -- have advanced kids. Not just on track, but way beyond track, at least in the long run and in many cases in the short run too.
I for one, since we're talking about the TOUGH QUESTIONS, would have some trouble signing on to an educational method that didn't expect or care to produce kids that lived up to their intellectual potential. It's a given to me that proper education should result in a child that has both character and competence. In their own unique ways of course. My Liam is by no means a Michael Foss or a Jonathan Westerburg, and trying to make him into one would be disastrous. But I think that's the point.
I'm sorry, this is all so general and longwinded. For the specifics, what we do in my homeschool when circumstances direct us to be less structured is to require math. The kids all have to do math every day. Recently Latin has also been a core requirement, though I'm satisfied if we get to that 3-4 times a week. The other aspects of the 3Rs are REALLY easy to do in an unschooling way, at least once the child has the mechanics of reading and writing down. REALLY.
In these reading and writing areas, backing off and letting my kids take the initiative has meant that they go far above grade level. Yes, sometimes I do direct the curriculum -- read this, do this grammar book, and so on. But that's not really the area where they've flown ahead. It's in the areas of interest.
That's exactly where today's "schooled" kids are lacking. Most can't read well, don't like to read, don't write well, don't like to write. If a child follows his interest he ends up reading way beyond his "grade level" and struggling to understand, because he cares about what he is reading. Then those comprehension skills transfer over to other areas. As a parent, you can introduce things and build on what "lights a fire".
I'm emphasizing one side of the equation, of course, because I'm on the unschooling forum. In our particular homeschool, I've always felt I had to keep two things in mind -- discipline AND love. When my homeschool becomes too structured and teacher-directed, my kids always lose ground in motivation and stop doing the BIG interesting things. When I swing the other way, towards more comprehensive "unschooling", for me it tends to feel too anarchic and too scattered. But I do always realize that I have to keep both elements in mind -- that a homeschool that's over-directed tends to lose a bit in excellence and intrinsic motivation. I DO hit that over-direction regularly, and then move back the other way to get my kids more on the same page again. It takes a bit of time and it sometimes "feels" like not doing enough in the short run, but it usually pays off in the long run.
One other thing I've sometimes tried is to keep a few subjects "structured" (I mentioned Latin and Math) and have other subjects more open-ended and flexible. Most school subjects aren't sequential and a child doesn't lose anything if he studies ancient history instead of American history in 5th grade.
I need to get my daughter to her violin lesson, I feel this is a long post that goes nowhere but don't have time to "write short"!
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Willa
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Lissa
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Oh dear. I just read through this thread and made a cut-and-paste list of things I wanted to respond to, and the list alone is a whole page long. You all have such great things to say!
Leonie wrote:
| I think family centred learning, community and real life involvement, children being persons, masterly inactivity, living and loving and learning and praying and sharing the sacraments together, when I think of Catholic unschooling. |
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This is lovely. Leonie, I think we finally have our blurb for the forum.
In my home we have been consistently *unschoolish* but I couldn't say that we have always *unschooled*, if that makes sense—at least, not according to what seems to me the difference between a relaxed/eclectic approach and unschooling. Jane hit on this in Take One, and I see the distinction in the same way she does:
Jane wrote:
| I think the nub of unschooling is this: it is child-led rather than parent-led. Done responsibly it will involve a great deal of thoughtful parental input and sensitive support. Done in a Catholic manner it will not absolve the child from the necessity of obeying the ten commandments, even the fourth. However, it will be the child who will dictate the pace, pick the main subject matter, choose the "electives" (=the entire curriculum ), not the parent. |
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There have been long stretches of time in my family when I was not directing the children's course of study. I participated in their learning, of course, through strewing and discussions and playing games and taking walks and read-alouds and going places and a thousand other ways. But during these times, our unschooling times, I have not required daily lessons in any specific subject. The very notion of "specific subjects" hasn't been present at all.
At other times—and when I look back over my calendars (what passes for record-keeping with me is simply notes scribbled in haste at the end of a day recording what we did—that and emails & blog entries!) I see that it has happened every year, usually coinciding with the arrival of the new fall catalogs, as if the notion of back-to-school-in-September is deeply engraved in my brain—I have decided "we're going to do *this*" and have directed the children's learning. My Sonlight posts from a few months ago on the history forum reflect a period of mom-directed learning. I would characterize it as always unschoolish in style because our rhythm and schedule has always been flexible (code for sometimes chaotic) and we have always maintained a leisurely pace, full of detours for spontaneous interests or pretty weather. But still, during these times, I've been the one deciding what we'll read and do. "Erin, it's time do to some Math-U-See." The kids enjoy Math-U-See (Kate is in fact stark raving crazy about it) but the distinction I make, in my own mind, is that when *I'm* the one saying "time for MUS," we aren't *unschooling* per se.
What I've been pondering for the past many weeks is WHY I repeatedly make this shift, and whether it's a pattern I want to change in favor of one method or the other—or is there benefit in the shifting. One way I have described it is (maybe I said this somewhere else on 4Real already) "tidal homeschooling"—sometimes it's high tide and I charter a boat and take the children out to fish—and they do enjoy the fishing!—and sometimes it's low tide and they amble along the shore poking around the tide pools or challenging the waves.
What I have noticed is that they learn SO MUCH MORE (not just *about stuff* but in character ways as well) during the low tide times. Not that they don't learn and grow during high tide, but when I am very honest in my scrutiny, I can see that the richest and happiest times for our family have been exactly those times when I have not been the one mapping out the trail. (To jump metaphors.) And this is in some aspects surprising, because the low-tide times have naturally occurred during times of crisis in our family—Stevie's health issues, etc. But the unschooler in me says, "Nope, not a surprise at all, because it's during those times that you've been too busy to stick them in your fishing boat."
At some point every year I have resolved to step back, to wholly unschool. And then I'll read Charlotte Mason or the Sonlight catalog and think how much fun it sounds to do such-and-such. And truly, I can and do make it fun. I don't think we've ever had a time when the kids were dragging their feet over something I suggested. That is, if a book or activity wasn't engaging them, I ditched it with no qualms. My goal (no matter which educational impulse has gripped me) is to maintain an atmosphere of joy in the home.
This takes me back to Leonie's quote above, which I hope (and pray) reflects the things that have been consistent in our home no matter which way the tide has turned, during our unschooling times and our unschoolish times—<<family centred learning, community and real life involvement, children being persons, masterly inactivity, living and loving and learning and praying and sharing the sacraments together.>>
I do wonder, though, if I will ever make up my mind once and for all. And I worry about what my inconsistency teaches the children. *Right now* I feel convinced that what is best for us as a family and for my children as individuals is wholehearted unschooling as Jane described it (I keep repeating quotes today but this post has grown so long I'll save you the bother of scrolling back up): "child-led rather than parent-led. Done responsibly it will involve a great deal of thoughtful parental input and sensitive support. Done in a Catholic manner it will not absolve the child from the necessity of obeying the ten commandments, even the fourth. However, it will be the child who will dictate the pace, pick the main subject matter, choose the "electives" (=the entire curriculum ), not the parent."
But will I change my mind when the next wave of back-to-school fever hits me....?
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Lissa
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juliecinci
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Lissa, you have expressed so well my experience with schooling. We have never used text books nor have we ever been slavishly attached to a program. On the other hand, I spent several years following KONOS with a group of mothers (when I first started homeschooling) and then moved to Sonlight (little bit of trivia... the gal who began Sonlight was my missionary team leader's wife! I was in her living room when she "got the idea" and ran with it. She never expected that it would be for Americans. It was designed for missionaries without libraries ). We loved Sonlight for the living literature and history and I used my KONOS background to make it hands on and alive.
Still, all of this was essentially controlled by me. We still followed math programs and had handwriting books and followed a schedule.
And my oldest (boy) wilted. In fourth grade, one morning after we had followed my plan perfectly (spent the day reading, creating posters, dying fabric like they did in colonial times, math books and handwriting, etc.), he burst into tears and said, "I hate school."
Needless to say I was shocked. For me, it had been the ideal day... month... semester! I had finally landed on a routine that reassured me that we were doing "school" in a truly integrated and enjoyable way.
Those words were like a knife. I knew I had to re-evaluate (again).
Fast forward. Through some wonderful advice, I discovered brain research that talked about how adults learn. Adults tend to do what is called "binge learning." Their brains become preoccupied with one subject and then they plumb its depths until they've exhausted it of whatever curiosity prompted the inquiry. Some people will take a topic further than others. That's not the point. The point is that usually adults will focus on a subject, skill, issue with intensity and narrowness of focus. They don't typically divide up their days with a half hour of one interest and then a half an hour of another in a "balanced way."
The research showed that the brain does best when it is given time to deeply engage in a topic over a sustained period of time that is controlled by the learner. I looked at my life and instantly knew it to be true.
This brain revelation changed how I thought about educating my kids. I let go of the controls and suddenly my son was the happy child I had known him to be. He took off in all sorts of wonderful directions. And so did the other four kids.
I discovered Charlotte Mason after that and found her liberating too! I loved the areas of emphasis in her education and found myself pursuing those areas for myself which bled directly over into my family.
We see-sawed back and forth with unschooling (depneding on my confidence) until recently (2 ½ years ago). High school saw the re-emergence of panic so I’ve had to really face my fears in a deep way... and let go.
Today, we are what I would call unschoolers. We do have Math U See as part of homeschool for the child who wants to grow in math education by way of a program. He chose it. I enjoy doing dictation and copywork with the kids who want to grow in their skills with writing (just like we use drawing exercises for kids who want to grow in their skills as artists). But all of this is non-coercively offered and explored.
The thing of it is, our kids are so great at learning! They learn from such surprising sources. I’m sold. And they have come to trust me. They will listen if I say, “I’m thinking you might want to consider studying division given your interest in..." It no longer sounds like a mom trying to steer them into boring topics. We are on the same team looking at the big world and wondering how we can get at it more effectively.
I know this is too long. But there is so much to say. Anyway, Lissa, loved your post and resonate with so much of it.
Julie
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Julie
Homeschooling five for fourteen years
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ladybugs
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| Posted: April 30 2005 at 4:29pm | IP Logged
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Natalia wrote:
What makes me nervous is plain fear of not teaching my kids enough or not teaching them the right things.
I believe that kids learn more if you engage them in the learning process. I also can see how when they learn the way that it has been talked about here, they are learning much more that content. But in the back of my mind I have that nagging feeling: would they be doing enough? |
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Hi Natalia,
This is something that has plagued all of us, I believe...some of us have to keep records to show at the end of the year or quarter - whatever the case may be and this might be where your family would have to taylor unschooling to fit those requirements.
Also, don't forget the importance of masterly inactivity...trips to the library are always fruitful for us...Just this week, I checked out a book on drawing medieval castles, knights, etc...my oldest couldn't wait to use it and spent a lot of time trying out the book....this to me taught alot. The observation of medieval architecture, warfare, weaponry....not necessarily the subjects most 8 year old girls are interested in but maybe she'll be God's next Joan of Arc.....sometimes it's trusting God in the circumstances of our lives to bring to fruition the work He's begun...
[/QUOTE] So, what if I ended up having to put my kids in school would they be ready if they follow their interest? [/QUOTE]
Again, you know your situation better than anyone and this would be where you and your husband would have to agree and then implement your plan. I can understand your concern because my second child, Juliana, can do computations in her head very quickly but when it comes to workbook work, she disengages and has a hard time with the tangible exercise of writing. I try to be creative and come up with ideas for her to "practice" writing and number use without it being obvious, but I do think that she would be labelled "special needs" even though she can do the computations abstractly - if she were put in a school setting. Maybe reading Gatto can give you peace of mind about this. Quite frankly, we plan on home educating all the way but our plans, as we all know, don't always coincide with God's. One of my friends, who longs to be an unschooler but is bound by obedience to her husband, has told me - and for me, this bears repeating, that if God is leading you to unschool, trust that He will bring all things to fruition. Now, I don't know if that applies to you or not, but I often need to remind myself...
Well, I don't know if I ever offer anything helpful, which is one reason I don't often post, but I hope that you find something in there that is useful...
God Bless you and yours,
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Love and God Bless,
Maria P
My etsy store - all proceeds go to help my fencing daughters!
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Cindy
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| Posted: April 30 2005 at 5:31pm | IP Logged
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juliecinci wrote:
We see-sawed back and forth with unschooling (depneding on my confidence) until recently (2 ½ years ago). High school saw the re-emergence of panic so I’ve had to really face my fears in a deep way... and let go.
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Julie,
If you have time, I would love to hear more about this part of your journey. High school is a time many re-evaluate (and/or panic)- what did you find yourself letting go of and how did you do it? If you feel you can share-
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Cindy in Texas
It Is About The Journey
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Leonie
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Willa,
I am smiling when you say that my children are advanced -mainly because I think they are advanced in their particular gifts but still struggle along in areas that are not strengths for them. I think unschooling has caused them to shine with their gifts, but it doesn't mean they will always be advanced in all areas.
For example , one son who is gifted in the arts and with writing finds abstract maths HARD ( and boring! oh, no!).The beauty of unschooling has meant that he hasn't had years of being made to fit into a box, but has had time spent on formal maths and even more time devoted to developing his gifts and passion.
Of course, sometimes it looks as though there is no gift or passion but, as Catholics, we know we are all called to a purpose and vocation so I continue to strew and lead and trust that God will lead the all-consuming fantasy novel reading son to his passion. 
If the current four homeschoolers in my house went to school, I can see that, like most children, they would be "advanced" in some areas and "average" in others. Yet, they still have an idea or goal of excellence and a love of learning and a sense of the Faith, and these are good attributes, too.
Lissa,
I have spent my whole homeschool life ( over 16 years!) flowing between unschooling and homeschooling
( iywim, as we have all agreed that a defnition is difficult!).
I have three homeschool graduates and they experienced not a sequential "ah, we are classical ( or whatever) educators" education and not a "this is the plan" but a bit of this and a bit of that. A lot of moves. A lot of financial difficulties and health prblems for mum.
If anything, I think this has made them stronger in their Faith and stronger in their academics and in their openness to others. They have learned that, under the umbrella of Catholicism and Catholic education and life, there are many ways and many gifts and many people and many circumstances.
So, maybe our changing method of education, our very flexibility, is a boon and a plus for home education for us?
Leonie in Sydney
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Genevieve
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I'm no way experienced in homeschooling but I have a little experience in mothering so maybe I should just speak from that prospective. When I first became a mom I had a grand vision of what sort of mother I would be and what sort of son Christian would be. Christian proved me to be wrong the first night we took him home. To this day, I still get curve balls.  But as I read parenting books and educational philosophies, I realize that no one or no way will be perfect for my children. They have this in-built mechanism with many many treasure boxes. Some more brillant than others. Every time I try to put in a key that I am sure will fit, it doesn't. Then every time I hand him a key he asks for, it fits. But I guess what I really wanted to say is when I think about my children, and how I want them to experience their childhood with me, and the men I hope they will become, I think about role models. And that's when I think about God. God is our Father. How did He raised me? Then my mind races through His gift of free will, the graces He bestowed upon him. Could He be the first unschooler? He lets me grow. He strews things all over my path. And he knows best (I as a parent don't though... . ) Now I may not know what is best, but I can pray and listen. To Him and to my children. I can most definitely try to let my children grow in the way He intended and strew multiple "keys". And as I think about these things, I think about what our Faith teaches us about our roles as parents. Some unschoolers say unschooling is as natural as breathing. So maybe it isn't so hard to be an unschooler and Catholic.
Anyhow just wanted to ramble. I find it helps me to keep on doing what I need to be doing. Or should I say think I should I be doing
Genevieve
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Lissa
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Quote:
| nd that's when I think about God. God is our Father. How did He raised me? Then my mind races through His gift of free will, the graces He bestowed upon him. Could He be the first unschooler? He lets me grow. He strews things all over my path. And he knows best |
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Genevieve, this is beautiful! I love it!
I've just had an idea—I think I will collect quotes from these excellent posts y'all are writing and put them in a sticky-post at the top of the forum for whenever someone needs a quick fix of inspiration and encouragement.
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Lissa
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Unschooling, take 2 (The Tough Questions)
