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Essy
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| Posted: Oct 13 2006 at 4:22pm | IP Logged
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Hi everyone, I'm new here and to homeschooling also. My kids are only 4 and 3, but we're already tinkering with it a bit. We are using 'Little Saints' at the moment and have used 'Letter of the Week' prior to this.
My struggle right now is with my oldest...she is very 'strong willed' and is going through a very contradictory phase...or at least I hope it is a phase. If I say 'black' she'll say 'no, it is white'...arghhh. She doesn't want me to show her how to do anything and insists that she can do it. This attitude of hers is not very conducive to homeschooling and sometimes I wonder if I should just send her to school, that maybe she'll listen to a stranger better then she does me.
Any ideas?
Essy
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Marybeth
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| Posted: Oct 13 2006 at 4:48pm | IP Logged
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Essy,
I taught for 6 years and most strong willed children will still be strong willed in the classroom. I wouldn't give up the dream/idea of homeschooling at this point. As a priest once wrote, "a strong willed child is a blessing b/c he/she will have a strong will NOT to sin and be able to say no easily to Satan." I loved it!! It helped settle things for me with my ds. I still expect respect and a pleasant attitude but am more relaxed about what I WANT him to do.
Why don't you stop for a while showing your dd anything. Let her lead the schooling for a bit. She may surprise you by how much she is wanting to learn but just at her pace and following her interests. I would recommend you check out the Montessori and Unschooling sections on the forum for further ideas.
At this point, I would just read, read, read and snuggle. Enjoy your dd and don't let anything too academic get in your way. She sounds smart and willing to learn (although direct it herself). 
Have you read Elizabeth's book? I highly recommend it as does anyone else who reads it. 
Remember everything at this age is learning so your dd is doing well!!! When my ds was 4 we read, did puzzles, colored, took walks, went on field trips, baked, played with water, allowed him ample time each day to play and incorporated the liturgical year into our family life. We kept it sweet and simple!!!!
One Mom in our homeschooling group with children ages 13 and 10 says if she had to do things over she would utilize as much on cd as possible. Songs are a great way to learn geography, science, math, phonics, etc. I wish my ds would enjoy this more, but he doesn't. Just thought I would pass along her advice.
God bless,
Marybeth
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ALmom
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| Posted: Oct 13 2006 at 6:40pm | IP Logged
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At 4, I wouldn't worry about schooling so much (we don't at all other than reading aloud). Set her up for success in the cooperation/obedience department. Give lots of acceptable choices - between 2 items, nap/ book time, etc. Only give commands when you can follow through (ideally of course it doesn't always happen that way) and sit down with her and do clean up together. Teach orderliness now - and schooling will be a breeze later when you have helped your child learn to direct her will to good. Then she will likely be your easiest - .
Janet
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Essy
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| Posted: Oct 13 2006 at 7:44pm | IP Logged
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Thanks ladies, I'll try to relax about it and see what happens. She actually enjoys 'school' work, likes to do worksheets (tracing letters and so forth). She's not crazy about having me read to her though...she preffers to take the book and make up her own stories about it...lol. She has a wonderful imagination and LOVES to pretend a lot.
As to the discipline issue...I know...it's me...I'm a big softie and let them get away with murder. She really is a good kid though, very sweet and affectionate...it's just that strong will of hers...lol.
Oh yea...about the orderliness...she cleans up after herself and her brother...lol...she's a little neat freak...makes her own bed every morning...the whole nine yards.
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ALmom
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| Posted: Oct 13 2006 at 8:56pm | IP Logged
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Essy: Send her to my house to help train mine. She sounds like she will be so fun to work with. I did much better when I had 2 - now #6 (also a 4 yo and very determined to do things his own way)needs some of my general training. It's taken me this long to figure out that mom takes precedence over teacher  .
Janet
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Essy
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| Posted: Oct 14 2006 at 7:10am | IP Logged
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"mom takes prcedence over teacher"...I like that!
As to my dd's organizational skills...I'm still trying to get her to train her brother...lol...they are total opposites on all fronts.
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Dawnie
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| Posted: Oct 14 2006 at 12:57pm | IP Logged
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Essy,
My oldest dd is strong-willed, too, but homeschooling is going fine.
She is just like me...I'm getting back everything I dished out to my poor mother!
Dawn
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Visit my blog!Water Into Wine:Vino Per Tutto!
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Essy
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| Posted: Oct 14 2006 at 7:11pm | IP Logged
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LOL Dawn. This is what my DH says too but mostly because this is the type of child that I always dreamed of (crazy huh?)...not realizing what kind of strain they can be on their parents though. We were childless for 17 years of our marriage, so we devoted a lot of our attention to nieces, nephews and friends' kids...and I always had a special place in my heart for the 'smart-alecky' ones...lol.
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: Oct 15 2006 at 6:49am | IP Logged
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Essy,
Just a thought but you might take a peak at the Montessori board. My dd is also strong willed /independent and loved Montessori type work at the age!
Becky
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Erin
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| Posted: Oct 15 2006 at 4:15pm | IP Logged
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Essy wrote:
| . We were childless for 17 years of our marriage, so we devoted a lot of our attention to nieces, nephews and friends' kids...and I always had a special place in my heart for the 'smart-alecky' ones...lol. |
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Essy
I love to hear miracle stories like this. What a blessing your children are 
Your dd sounds alot like mine, just let her direct the learning and she will, dc like this can be extremely focused and will often set their own goals and achive them. I remember my dd at 5 informing me she was going to learn to read over the school hols so she would be starting K reading. She set the goal of reading twice a day and was reading by her goal
Pick your battles, don't go head to head if it can be avoided. Except her for what she is not how you think she should be. Often you can get what you want of you just phrase it differently, if the tack you're using doesn't work try another approach. It took me manyyears to accept this. 
Marybeth wrote:
| As a priest once wrote, "a strong willed child is a blessing b/c he/she will have a strong will NOT to sin and be able to say no easily to Satan." I loved it!! |
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I LOVE this also. So true if we can just channel it for God's glory, after all He was the One who created these children the way they are.
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Erin
Faith Filled Days
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guitarnan
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For great ways to understand your strong-willed child, may I suggest Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's book, "Raising Your Spirited Child"? There's lots of positive vocabulary about children and their temperaments.
My son is extremely strong-willed. This book literally changed my life (and, thus, his) in an incredibly positive way.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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blairb4
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| Posted: Oct 15 2006 at 11:17pm | IP Logged
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Glad to hear all this advice as my eldest is also rather strong-willed and I worry about having to start official homeschooling with her! I also have a hard time on discipline. A good friend who's very good at discipline just gave me a book by Dr. Ray Guarendi (who has been on EWTN), "Discipline that Lasts a Lifetime." I'm learning a LOT! I definitely recommend it.
~~~
Blair in TX, wife of Steven '01
Mommy to Mary Clare '03 and Elizabeth '05
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: strong willed child
