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saintanneshs
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Argh...what a frustrating week this has been! Tracy, I just read your lovely post, and I am so happy that homeschooling is off to such a great start for you. After reading my way through a half dozen blogs (from 4Real bloggers) every week, it seems like everyone else is settling in with a smile and a happy heart. I'm so jealous! I wish I could say the same thing for us. I just love Real Learning but I must be doing something wrong...
We're reading great literature, listening to inspiring music, exploring geography with our new Columbus unit...we even have homebaked goodies to snack on. But my heart is still not in it. All I seem to want to do is to be left alone and enjoy just 5 minutes of peace and quiet! I just want to sleep all day and daydream about days of children getting along peacefully. With all there is to do at my house, it seems like the moments of rest are so few and far between and I just want to rest and take a moment to appreciate this pregnancy. I wonder if I don't sometimes make it through days at a time on "auto-pilot," getting the laundry done but not really enjoying it's smell the way I used to. I know I'm missing the things that make life so wonderful: my children's laughter (lately it seems to annoy me because someone is usually being naughty), the mysterious moon outside two nights ago (dh called me to come look at it with him and I just wanted to finish the dishes and go to bed), and the changing of the seasons (I must admit that I haven't been outside for more than few minutes in ALL of this week).
I have a great curriculum, but no energy to enjoy it. I'm still not making time for the right things, like getting outside more, because vacuuming and cooking and potty-training are getting in the way. Planning, for me, has just become words on paper. It seems like we can never stick to a "plan" for more than a few days, and it's such a huge struggle at that. With only 4 more months to go before our newest little one arrives, I feel burnout breathing down my neck, but I'm too new at this for burnout, right? And the expectation is that I'm always all smiles about "my choice" to have a large family and homeschool, but honestly I'm having daily private fantasies about waving goodbye to my older two, cup o' hot coffee in my hand as they board that big yellow bus...(sigh)...(No, I'm not seriously considering this. I just like to fool myself into thinking life would be blissful if I sent them off to school...or at least I could catch my breath!)
What's a mom to do???
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Kristine
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guitarnan
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Kristine,
If you look at my "ever had one of those days?" post, you'll know you're not alone. It's been a goony week around here. I've had that school bus fantasy once or twice.
I don't think you're doing anything wrong. You're a pregnant mommy with lots of littles and a home to take care of...and you're undoubtedly tired.
Given the ages of your children, I'd suggest a "back to basics" approach for a while...at my house that's Religion, English, Math and Outdoors (sports, playtime, hikes). My daughter lives for science, so sometimes we do nothing but outdoor science things. You don't HAVE to do every subject every day. (Art Day is way easier than Art Hour...only one cleanup per several weeks...) Go to the library and check out a pile of picture books, snuggle on the couch and read them. English. Practice measuring with different measuring cups and a big pail of water. Math. Borrow a kids' saint video from church and watch it. Religion. Pick a feast day and take a half day off from school in celebration.
Slowing down will help you de-stress and give you a bit more time for the home tasks that are weighing you down. Potty training alone would wear anyone down, and it takes a lot of time and devotion. It's OK to do more of that and less of geography.
Rest is OK, too...I'm sure your kids don't all nap (or at least not at the same time), but you can at least cuddle together in a relaxed position for a while.
Please give yourself permission to be tired and pregnant.
Lots of hugs and prayers are yours today...from me!
__________________
Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Elizabeth
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saintanneshs wrote:
| I have a great curriculum, but no energy to enjoy it. I'm still not making time for the right things, like getting outside more, because vacuuming and cooking and potty-training are getting in the way. Planning, for me, has just become words on paper. It seems like we can never stick to a "plan" for more than a few days, and it's such a huge struggle at that. With only 4 more months to go before our newest little one arrives, I feel burnout breathing down my neck, but I'm too new at this for burnout, right? |
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No, your'e not. You're perfect for it.  Burnout isn't limited to moms who have been going great guns at home education for along time. You are pregnant (and much of your need for quiet and solitude can be attributed to that). You have lots of little ones and no big ones--the physical and emotional responsibility load is crushing. And, you haven't been outside enough (yes that ranks right up there with the rest of it).
What's the upside? Your kids are so young that you really don't have an overwhelming academic agenda. Scale wayyyyy back. I don't know what curriculum you have but use just the reading and math for awhile. For religion, just hit the feast days. And then, let Mother Nature nurture...
If you go to Real Learningand scroll down the left-hand sidebar, you'll find a talk transcript from NACHE 2004. I wrote that talk when I was well past burnout and into true depression. In it, I describe an almost-all-nature study fall. Highly therapeutic.
Kristine, don't miss the moon. The idea that he would call you outside to gaze at the moon brings tears to my eyes. Don't miss the moon.
Your children are still so little. You need to listen to your heart when it tells you to do what is necessary to enjoy these days. Plans are great; but truth be told, it's not usually Plan A that is great but Plan C or D. Don't be afraid to regroup and refocus. Don't miss the joy!
And know that you are not alone. I'm doing some serious scratching and scribbling here, too. What looks good on paper doesn't always work in practice. Real Learning is about Real Life. In my house right now, real life is crashing around my ears and I'm craving the same quiet you are...Time to re-think a bit and figure out how to bring peace to our days and joy to our journey.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Elizabeth
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ROFL!(Well, not really Rolling on the floor--I don't roll these days  ) Nancy and I cross posted the same advice a minute apart!
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Taffy
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No words of wisdom from me, Kristine, but thankfully Elizabeth and Nancy have given you some great thoughts.
Just wanted to let you know that I'm in the same boat as you and I don't have a pregnancy to explain away the tiredness.
We'll get through this...
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Susan
Mom to 5 on earth and 1 in heaven
Susan's Soliloquy
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lapazfarm
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Elizabeth (and Nancy and Taffy) have given you excellent advice.
Your children are so young (and numerous!) and you are pregnant. You have no olders to help you yet. These are undoubtedly the very hardest years. I remember having only littles and having days when I just wanted to lay down and cry. I have it much easier now and yet we still decided to take off thursday for an unscheduled but much needed day outdoors. I call these days my "sanity days" because they truly do preserve my sanity!
Please do take some time of from school. Get outside and let the wonder of God's creation heal you. Your children will learn what they need to learn despite it all and will appreciate so much more a happy momma than well-planned lessons.
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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Sarah
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Kristine,
I've felt a lot like this lately. And I'm not even pregnant.
I'm not sure why this happens to us at times. Sometimes I wonder if its the Devil trying to ruin our peace.
Our first week of school did NOT go well, so don't worry.
I'm literally chopping off about half of what I spent all summer planning and going SIMPLE!
I even thought of a new blog carnival--"Elegant Simplicity in Curriculum! (I'm kidding!)
__________________
Six boys ages 16, 14, 11, 7, 5, 2 and one girl age 9
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Elizabeth
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Sarah wrote:
I even thought of a new blog carnival--"Elegant Simplicity in Curriculum! (I'm kidding!)
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Are you? Sounds perfect for those February doldrums to me...Shall I sign you up to host?
__________________
Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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stacykay
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Take heart! Don't be so hard on yourself. You are a mommy to dear little ones and are pregnant. To manage all you have been doing, even when you haven't felt like it, sounds amazing to me!
Elizabeth wrote:
| Kristine, don't miss the moon. The idea that he would call you outside to gaze at the moon brings tears to my eyes. Don't miss the moon. |
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I had to laugh, as when we had our last full moon (another beauty,) I called my dh out to look at it, and his response was, "I saw it last night!"
Your dh sounds sweet!
We have had an uneven start, partially with my 2 yo and figuring out how to entertain him, and partially due to our local school didn't begin until Weds. (and the boys always seem to have difficulty learning when their pals are out and about.) Also, sore throats and colds have been stalking us, and I haven't been as organized as I should.
But, we have been learning. Here and there. Heed the above advice, sticking to the basics, going outside for nature/science, and you'll do fine. 
And lastly, as far as the school bus goes, I did have some schoolish visions in my mind (however fleeting,) until I looked out the window on Weds. morning.
We live four houses away from the neighborhood elementary school. Cars were lined up, parking, up and down ours, and neighboring streets (I don't think anyone walks anymore- and we are a neighborhood of sidewalks.) Well, in front of our house, I could hear a child crying. I looked out, and here was a little boy (around 7) who was not going to go to school! No way. His parents cajoled, begged and bribed (the last count I heard was $50 to go for the 2 1/2 hours of school they had that day!) I walked away at that point. Looking out later, they had managed to get him into the school.
God Bless,
Stacy in MI
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TracyQ
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Kristine,
Homeschooling is a journey, a marathon, not a sprint. It has seasons that we need to go through, and right now, you're in a winter type of season.
God never tells us our homeschools will be perfect through the journey, in fact, the calling is a very difficult one. I always think that God is saying to me, *Here is your mission, should you choose to accept it* (as if in a spy movie or something  ). It's a HARD mission, one that's difficult. It's one where we need to really look at what HE's asking us do to, and saying yes, much like Mary did! In fact, I often think of how hard it was for her to say YES to God, and it helps me to keep saying yes on this journey, and the *mission* to which he calls us.
If he's calling us on a mission, that means we're missionaries. And our FAMILY is who we're missionaries to. It's a humble, exhausting, difficult, under (sometimes un)- appreciated, completely sacrificial mission to which we're called. And I often have to remind myself that it's not my family I'm looking to for appreciation.....that my reward will NOT be here on earth....it lies in my Heavenly Home.
But if we're faithful to the journey, knowing He'll see us through it, even through these non-perfect, difficult times, He does show us glimpses of the rewards through our children, and through our family. Sometimes it comes not as often as I'd like it, but if I'm still, and quiet, and I try to listen to the still, small voice of God, I know He'll show me the fruits.
You're growing a baby, Kristine. You're kids are all so young, and you have PLENTY of time to educate them. They're learning already with whatever it is you're able to do with them. Try to take the *little teachable moments*, and use those to your advantage. Fostering relationship, and reading to them, and helping them love reading will bring huge rewards later on this wonderful journey. I wrote a bit about this in this thread: Loving Literature, A Glimpse From God
I know it can be frustrating, especially during the times where you feel like you're just hanging on by a thread! But if you just focus on the Lord, who's holding the other end of it, I promise you'll be just fine.
__________________
Blessings and Peace,
Tracy Q.
wife of Marty for 20 years, mom of 3 wonderful children (1 homeschool graduate, 1 12th grader, and a 9th grader),
 homeschooling in 15th year in Buffalo, NY
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ShawnaB
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Tracy, this is such wisdom! Kristine, you have been given great encouragement and advice. I can relate to the way you are feeling too. Last year was a "winter season" with one, then two little babies, a 2 year old and a 5 year old, and lots and lots of snow. I was exhausted and in survival mode, and when I read the chapter on burnout in Elizabeth's book, I cried. I didn't know you could be burned out when you had only just started!!
And I'll tell you what you already know...the Spring and Summer will come again on your homeschooling journey, as well as more winter I am sure. I just wanted to offer a few practical things that I did last year that were helpful...
I don't know what "people resources" you have around, but I know for me, little moments of down time were so helpful. I didn't need my kids to disappear for a week, but a couple hours was extremely theraputic! Is there anyone...grandma, auntie, friend, who could take the littles off your hands for an afternoon and provide you with some much-needed quiet? Too bad there's that big continent between us, because I would definitely offer! Our three one-year-olds could practice their toddler social skills together!
And how about some help with that housework? From your post, I gather that you like a clean and orderly home (me too), and you spend a lot of energy to that end. It was very hard and humbling for me to ask for help...but I did, and my whole family benefited. If hiring help is not an option, consider posting a weekly list of housechores in a visible place, so when someone offers to help, its easier to just say, "Well, I have this list of chores that need to be done..." rather than actually firing an order. Too many times, I declined help because I was too embarrassed (proud?) to just say what needed to be done! If there is a friend who you are comfortable with, or even dh, perhaps they could put out a call to your community that you could use a helping hand. This could be a great opportunity for an older homeschooled girl. Remember, in all societies...except our own modern, western world...it is NORMAL for communities to care for the pregnant and new mom! We are so isolated and independent and proud here...but I don't believe that is God's best plan. Allow others the opportunity and the blessing of serving! OK, soapbox moment over...
Your dh sounds like a sweet, loving guy....anyone who would ask his wife to come look at the moon! Have you asked him specifically what his priorities are for you during this season? I love the website and blog Preschoolers and Peace and this was one nugget that I gleaned from this mom of 7. ASK dh. You may be surprised how light his expectations are! And, I know my dh is really ready to help...again, when I ASK! Last year, he took on the duty, joyfully, of unloading the dishwasher every morning before he left for work. Simple, but this little thing was so helpful.
You are in my prayers Kristine, that you will find peace and rest during this season. 
__________________
Shawna, wife of Jacob, mom to Abraham 8 Amelia 5 and Jillian & Jonathan age 3 years http://www.psalm121family.com
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mary
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last year i felt overwhelmed as well and i was only pregnant with my 4th! i did what has already been recommended: only math and reading (and switched to workbooks for both), lots of time at the local nature center, a first communion notebook, and we read every Thornton Burgess book we could find. my kids said it was the best school we ever did.
slow down. you are teaching your kids how to handle life - and that's a pretty lucky thing to learn when you are young.
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Nina Murphy
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I second everything else everyone else has said: you are pregnant. That about sums it up for me. ( ) And this is the cross. After 13 years of homescooling I can honestly say, I have always felt the weight of that cross! (And have had the sweet memories and sweet consolations thrown in there, punctuating things, too.) Everyone said it better than me, but don't miss the little joys. These are hard times for us moms, but we must not let the Devil get us to miss the beauties around us every single day. It is so easy to get pulled under. I know, I can.
We *have* to see life differently---train ourselves. See it as basically a valley of tears with precious moments of joy and comfort and ease given to us from time to time, not the other way around. Our Lady did tell St. Bernadette she could not promise her a life of happiness HERE on earth. We are not promised a life of happiness here on earth---hard to accept!
But I am filled with empathy and sympathy and we are all with you. I also feel like I overshot AGAIN for this year and am already strained with the "there's TOO MUCH". How to make it enough but just right for so many different ages (1-18)? It's tough for me, too--- even with all of the years behind me.
So, remember: it's the nature of this vocation and life. You are not doing anything wrong. Do what you can every day. Persevere with your duties. Love your children---kiss them. And try to do the fun things YOU enjoy. They'll enjoy what you enjoy. (For instance: I love stretching out on the floor and doing those huge floor puzzles so I have been focusing on doing Melissa and Doug educational ones on the human body, maps, ABC trains, etc. with them. And all ages have loved it!) Just an idea: keep it fun for now until your baby is born and a little older, and give yourself a break. Praying.
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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momwise
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Hugs...I wish I could give you all a bunch of hugs. Just after I got up today, I had fleeting visions of Monday morning dawning warm and fallish and all the dc--ready?--going off to school,leaving baby and I to sing nursery rhymes and play in the sandbox.
Thank you Nina for the wonderful and gentle reminder to persevere with joy and remember Our Lady is by our side.
Shawna how wise to point out that our culture does not support young moms!
Anyway, Kristine...I just agree with everyone else and give you one more...don't even do math right now. Just read and let dc play and enjoy the fall. Ask dh to take the littles for 15 min. in the evenings and play a math game with your 6&5 and that will cover it (or go for a walk and ask him to play the game).
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Gwen...wife for 30 years, mom of 7, grandma of 3.....
"If you want equal justice for all and true freedom and lasting peace, then America, defend life." JPII
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Dawnie
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I could have posted something very like this, Kristine. I was online last night, and feeling very GLUM, thinking, "I wish I could blog about how I REALLY feel sometimes..." But I can't, b/c I've given out my blog URL to my family members, and they can't see that I get frustrated sometimes. I know what their advice would be: "Just send your kids to school! Stop having babies, or at least space them further apart!" I have even received advice like that from another Catholic mom. I don't need to hear that. I need to hear, "Yeah, this is hard sometimes, here are some ways to deal with it, but you gotta carry your cross with love!"
I'm glad that we can share our real feelings here and get 4real advice and support from other Catholic women. (do you like my pun?)
I often feel frustrated, that I don't always feel happy about homeschooling. In fact, I've felt really grumpy lately while trying to get through my list with littles squealing in the background. Many times, I just want to get through everything as fast as possible so I can move onto something else or take a nap! My days are often dominated by simply getting food on the table 3 times a day and taking care of the basic household chores...and I only have 3 dc! I was thinking the other day that it would be nice if someone wrote a book/blog/something about homeschooling w/ a young family and what is REALISTIC during that phase in life. Those of us who are still growing our families and don't have older dc and teenagers will have a different kind of homeschool than those who have older dc and/or are past their childbearing years.
I tend to be over-ambitious about what I can accomplish, then I beat myself up when I can't get it all done. Just look at my lesson plans for theCHC Tour North America project. Okay, I planned way too much. Those would be great lesson plans if that was ALL we were doing, but it's too much with all the other subjects we're studying.
One thing that really helped me was to write out everything I wanted to accomplish in a typical day, and then estimate how much time each task would take. (This is part of the MOTH scheduling guide) Guess what, I was trying to fit 27 hours of stuff into a 24 hour day. It can't be done. I have a better idea now of what I can REALLY do in one day, but I still tend to over-schedule. As a pregnant mom w/ littles, I just can't do as much as others can. This is hard for me to accept. I'm always telling my oldest dd to "Keep your eyes on your own work," b/c she's so concerned about what her sisters are doing during chore time that she neglects her own chores. I need to take my own advice.
I just wanted to let you know that I share your frustration, but most of the time, I put on a happy face and hide it from others, even here on these boards. I'm NOT saying that you should do this...I just mean that sometimes, someone else's "perfect" homeschool isn't what it seems.(not that mine even seems perfect!) Often the only one who knows how I really feel on bad days is my dh.
Dawn
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Mom to Mary Beth (99), Anna (02), Lucia (04), Clara (06), and Adelaide Victoria (2/28/09)
Visit my blog!Water Into Wine:Vino Per Tutto!
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Rachel May
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Kristine,
I'm sorry about your attack of the mean reds. Your life always sounds so idyllic to me. You live on a farm!
My word of encouragement is that since last fall when I whined incessantly about pregnancy, things have gotten easier and easier. Something about those olders getting, well, older! By the time baby James came I felt like I could breathe for the first time simce I got pregnant with the twins. You don't know how often I've apologized to him (James) for complaining about being pregnant.
Things are still nuts sometimes, but somehow it seems like instead of trudging up, I am now rolling down the hill. Hang in there!
__________________
Rachel
Thomas and Anthony (10), Maria (8), Charles (6), Cecilia (5), James (3), and Joseph (1)
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Nina Murphy
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Dawn,
Exactly.
Beautiful.
Same here (except I have teens!).
I feel so much better reading this Forum regularly----hearing the echo of my thoughts and feelings.....
God bless you!
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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JodieLyn
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And remember your oldest are 6 and 5.. in many places they could still be not going to school at all.. or only in half day kindergarten (if homeschooling can reduce a full day of school to 2-3 hours.. a half day means 1-1.5 hrs)
You're at a hard place.. btdt.. as your oldest get older.. it will get easier.
What about getting some good books on tape vs reading out loud yourself.. then you could settle down for a nice comfy cuddle with the kids for some quiet time..
and listening to a good story. Or take your book and go sit outside on a blanket with the kids (take pillows too )for read aloud time.
Your two oldest are old enough to be doing some chores (picking up their rooms, picking up any room, learning to sweep, learning to vaccum, helping with the dishes, setting and cleaning off the table.. even cooking).. are you training them or still treating them like littles and trying to do it all yourself?
I found that when I was pregnant with #4 that the standard amount vitamins just were not cutting it any more. I was soooo tired. We'd just moved and my new midwife suggest NF Formulas Prenatal Forte (very simliar to the Rainbow Light 6 a day Prenatals) wow.. a huge difference in amount of vitamins.. but some research (Prescription for Nutritional Healing by Balch) and I decided to give them a try.. within a week of taking them consistently (my biggest problem) I started feeling good... "normal" even. It's like the others were good vitamins.. but I was losing a bit of stores each time and not gaining it back. Of course I'm pregnant now and I'm supposed to be trying to take them all the time again.. but when I'm not pregnant I can get away without taking them all the time (or fewer).. but I couldn't there for a while. They cost more but it really made a difference in how I felt.
Depression or symptoms that are often classified as part of depression can also be symptoms of vitamin deficiencies.. not enough for the true deficiency diseases but there all the same.
Oh and I would make sure that "listening to inspiring music" wasn't just adding to the noise bombarding you.. sometimes music is great but sometimes it's all I can manage to deal with the noise of the household.. adding anything is just too much.
oh and one last little thought.. if you stuck your oldest two on that bus.. who'd chase the 3 and 1 when you didn't feel like it?
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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SuzanneG
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Thanks for the great comments and to Kristine for writing about this. Those of us with "little-littles" need to hear these comments/suggestions/reminders and it's very helpful. My girls are 5 1/2, 4, 2 1/2 and 6 months, and these are very challenging days, and I'm not even pregnant! It's all about the "basics" and praying for a GRATEFUL heart!
Suzanne
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Joelle
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Joined: July 19 2006
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Posts: 90
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| Posted: Sept 10 2006 at 3:13pm | IP Logged
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As I sit here drinking cold decaf coffee (why, I do not know--but when I made it 2 hours ago it was hot--then came dinner and clean-up), I also echo your sentiments! I just had my 5th last October and now that the baby is wanting down & about AND my 2yo is as BUSY as I've ever had, our first week was a cold coffee in the face week!! We are also the only care giver of my 86 yo grandpa who has dementia and lives in Dementia Care assisted living. He is not related to my parents (and they live pretty far away), and we are all he has in the world--so every financial, healthcare, or personal/social issue he has we deal with. It can be very overwhelming, but a wonderful friend of mine gave me a quote from St. Claude de la Colombiere that put a lot into perspective when I really needed it:
"You think you would be less distracted if you were away from the circumstances in which God has placed you...Try to live in your present state as though you were never to leave it; think more of making good use of your crosses than of getting rid of them under the pretext of having more liberty with which to serve God."
I know when I feel the weight of the cross bearing down on me, it is usually that I am focusing on what I feel is important in our homeschool and not what GOD feels is important. I want every academic subject covered perfectly. I want a clean house. I want wonderfully prepared gourmet meals. I want somebody to help with grandpa...
Everyone has given such pearls of wisdom here (I am so blessed to have found all of you)! I would add just to make sure you have your quiet time in front of the Blessed Sacrament. Nothing relaxes me like time in front of our Eucharistic Lord, begging him to guide me. And He always does! Do not forget that He gives you enough time to do exactly what he is calling you to do, and if you are tired and feeling like you are not enjoying those little blessings he has given you right now, then He is probably urging you to REST and RELAX with them. My oldest is now just 10 and in retrospect, I could have relaxed and enjoyed schooling A LOT more had I just taken the aforementioned advice! You are doing the right thing and these feelings WILL pass! God Bless, Joelle.
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Why can't I make this happen?
