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Tina P.
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| Posted: June 24 2006 at 1:15am | IP Logged
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We went to a theme park today.  I'm sorry, but all those are for me is a BIG drain on my energy, time, and money supply. The way home was really quiet. Two were asleep. One was almost asleep. One was disappointed because she lost her sunglasses. Another was disappointed because he didn't get to ride on a rollercoaster (but it would've been because he missed another ride, had he been able to ride the rollercoaster). Dh and I were waaay beyond disappointed with the money we spent for 6 hours of mainly waiting in line, counting kids and keeping them together, and waiting for each other when everyone couldn't ride the ride. 
I did something else dumb. I bought some movies because my child recommended them. They are purely entertainment and the characters live in fantasyland.  These are still returnable, so that might be the route I should go, even though it will disappoint dd.
Why am I always sucked into the stupidity of mainstream life? I feel so ... I don't know how to describe it ... cheap, I guess, when I buy into the mainstream. I feel like I've given in to temptation, like I'm sinning. Am I? 
We're generally *not* into following the standard American family. We don't watch TV and so therefore are not sucked in via commercialism, just (usually) carefully chosen videos and DVDs.
How do you manage to eschew the mainstream? How can we even buy our children gifts anymore without falling prey to Polly Pocket, Walt Disney, Barbie, Lego, K-Nex, or whatever else is out there to lure hard-earned dollars away from us? There's even a plethora of Catholic goodies no one really *needs*. Couldn't we do so much better with our money by donating it to someone REALLY in need? That opens another can of worms, however. Does the money that we donate end in the hands that need it most?
I guess what I'm saying is that pure entertainment without the value of education behind it just makes me a little sick to my stomach ~ kind of like reading a nonliving book to my children. I don't think my children see it this way. They ask me, "Isn't it OK to watch a movie or do something just for fun?"
I can't answer them. Is it? Is there ever a time when pure entertainment is actually good?  None of our family is happy with it when we've done it. We all seem to be so much happier when we go on educational outings. The cost seems so much more worth it, the effect so much more lasting.
All opinions on this matter appreciated. I could use some real learning myself this time. 
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Tina, wife to one and mom to 9 + 3 in heaven
Mary's Muse
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Kathryn UK
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I admit it ... I like entertainment. And I like rollercoasters  . I hate waiting in queues, so we only ever go to theme parks or such like on school days. One of the advantages of home education  . I also like movies ... and Lego ... and Playmobil ... and a whole raft of branded products, so long as the products are good ones. As I see it entertainment - which usually means shared fun and shared laughter - is a good thing, so long as it is "clean" entertainment and not something intrinsically sinful. After all, we are Catholics, not Puritans 
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Kathryn
Dh Michael,  Rachel(3/95) Hannah(8/98) Naomi(6/06)  (11/07)
The Bookworm
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: June 24 2006 at 8:06am | IP Logged
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Oh, maaaannnn...
I have a lot to say (again ) and no time to say it. (lucky you )
We just got back from a theme park and water park vacation. I do have some thoughts on this...
Mom's picking us up in 30 minutes to go swimming with the cousins. More later.
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: June 24 2006 at 8:31am | IP Logged
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I personally do not see anything wrong with a little mindless entertainment or good clean fun from time to time. I know I like to veg out on occasion with a funny movie or the comics page.
I also think there is a difference between rampant consumerism ("I need that new Spongebob toothpaste! And the towel and bedsheets and curtains and action figures and trading cards...") and indulging in a little childish pleasure with the occasional branded merchandise ("A StarWars Legos set! Cool!").
Like everything else, we seek balance.
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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MicheleQ
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Tina P. wrote:
| We went to a theme park today. I'm sorry, but all those are for me is a BIG drain on my energy, time, and money supply. |
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They drain my energy too but dh and some of the kids like them so they go once a year and I stay home with the little kids. It works well for us.
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| They are purely entertainment and the characters live in fantasyland. These are still returnable, so that might be the route I should go, even though it will disappoint dd. |
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If the children like them and they aren't objectionable why not keep them? I don't like everything my kids like either but sometimes they do need to just relax and watch something fun.
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| Why am I always sucked into the stupidity of mainstream life? I feel so ... I don't know how to describe it ... cheap, I guess, when I buy into the mainstream. I feel like I've given in to temptation, like I'm sinning. Am I? |
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I doubt it. But if it makes you feel that bad then yes maybe you should avoid it.
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| How do you manage to eschew the mainstream? How can we even buy our children gifts anymore without falling prey to Polly Pocket, Walt Disney, Barbie, Lego, K-Nex, or whatever else is out there to lure hard-earned dollars away from us? There's even a plethora of Catholic goodies no one really *needs*. Couldn't we do so much better with our money by donating it to someone REALLY in need? That opens another can of worms, however. Does the money that we donate end in the hands that need it most? |
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Well it depends on the place you donate to of course but I do know that Catholic Relief Services has one of the highest percentages of actual money going to help the needy of any charity out there. They are always a safe bet.
As for eschewing the mainstream I don't think we have to entirely. We monitor it. Legos and Knex are pretty popular here and I think they have a lot of value. Children grow and learn through play and what may look useless to us may actually be very important to their development.
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I guess what I'm saying is that pure entertainment without the value of education behind it just makes me a little sick to my stomach ~ kind of like reading a nonliving book to my children. I don't think my children see it this way. They ask me, "Isn't it OK to watch a movie or do something just for fun?"
I can't answer them. Is it? Is there ever a time when pure entertainment is actually good? None of our family is happy with it when we've done it. We all seem to be so much happier when we go on educational outings. The cost seems so much more worth it, the effect so much more lasting. |
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We all need leisure. A great article of explaining this is The Value of Leisure
Here's an excerpt: "We tend to forget that man is essentially different from animals, which are rooted in materiality. Man has a dual or composite nature, at once both material and spiritual. Consequently, man has unique needs and aspirations which he must fulfill in order to be happy. Everything sought or created in response to these genuinely and uniquely human aspirations is part of the common good, including man's relationship with God. When people limit themselves to concern only for 'utility', they become stunted, failing to fulfill their human potential. Society and culture are impoverished. Happiness is diminished. Destiny is lost."
"Unfortunately, a similar kind of myopia can affect even committed Christians who rightly combat the excesses of our culture, including its materialistic consumerism. Christians in the trenches will sometimes measure worth by the calculus of how 'usefully' they can spend their time in the fight for souls. In this view, the battle is all; man's perpetual obligation is to work ceaselessly in 'spiritually useful' activity. Clearly we ignore what is spiritually useful at our peril, but usefulness, no matter how defined, is not the crowning glory of the human person. Mere usefulness ignores too much that is primary in our nature, including much that is essential to holiness and openness to God."
God bless!
__________________
Michele Quigley
wife to my prince charming and mom of 10 in Lancaster County, PA USA
http://michelequigley.com
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JennGM
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| Posted: June 24 2006 at 10:48am | IP Logged
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MicheleQ wrote:
We all need leisure. A great article of explaining this is The Value of Leisure
Here's an excerpt: "We tend to forget that man is essentially different from animals, which are rooted in materiality. Man has a dual or composite nature, at once both material and spiritual. Consequently, man has unique needs and aspirations which he must fulfill in order to be happy. Everything sought or created in response to these genuinely and uniquely human aspirations is part of the common good, including man's relationship with God. When people limit themselves to concern only for 'utility', they become stunted, failing to fulfill their human potential. Society and culture are impoverished. Happiness is diminished. Destiny is lost."
"Unfortunately, a similar kind of myopia can affect even committed Christians who rightly combat the excesses of our culture, including its materialistic consumerism. Christians in the trenches will sometimes measure worth by the calculus of how 'usefully' they can spend their time in the fight for souls. In this view, the battle is all; man's perpetual obligation is to work ceaselessly in 'spiritually useful' activity. Clearly we ignore what is spiritually useful at our peril, but usefulness, no matter how defined, is not the crowning glory of the human person. Mere usefulness ignores too much that is primary in our nature, including much that is essential to holiness and openness to God." |
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Josef Pieper has some terrific books on Leisure and Festivity. We need the leisure...as this great quote explains. And we tend to have a Protestant work ethic in this country that tends to find any kind of idleness as wrong. It needs to be productive idleness? No. Balance is the key. If you are fostering good habits, good play, responsibility...then there are times when just pure leisure as entertainment is refreshing.
I don't like amusement parks myself. Never did, even as a child. My dh doesn't, but we have brought our son to ride on the kiddie rides and such. His joy from a merry-go-round and car ride were overflowing.
I, too, bristle at the rampant consumerism of movie and TV characters plastered on everything. I was hesistant to get into Thomas the Tank Engine, thinking it was part of all this crass materialism, when so many ladies on this board pointed out the books, the wooden train sets, some GOOD points of the TTE. And I've watched the shows, bought the books, have the trains and LOVE it. I just monitor so it's not "I must have TTE toothbrust and sheets and bed and ...." But I confess, I did buy underwear with Thomas on them.  It's a little motivator for my trainer in action.
I hope you don't think I'm jumping down on you Tina. I have so many of your same feelings. Just sometimes I think we have to sort our feelings out. There are TV shows that are okay and not harmful. The toys themselves are not evil. I tend to look for toys that aren't child-driven or foster imagination, such as Legos, which we love. But there isn't anything wrong with having a few that are just pure entertainment.
Just plain entertainment isn't bad. We enjoy movies. Watching sports is entertainment. We're not participating.
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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teachingmom
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I think that entertainment is a good and necessary thing. This is a very Catholic idea. What is the really hard part of our job, I think, is discerning what is appropriate entertainment for ourselves and our families. Many things are off limits automatically for moral reasons. Some toys, many movies, most TV shows, etc. come under that category for us. But those things that are morally neutral or even positive provide us with an outlet for relaxation.
I feel strongly that relaxation activities do not have to be educational. (Although it's great when they can be both entertaining and educational!) I love reading good fiction. Sometimes I learn from what I read. Sometimes I am inspired to be a better person by what I read. Sometimes I am just plain entertained.
I have mixed feelings about amusement parks. I understand what you mean about feeling like you are buying into the mainstream just by being there. I find them draining and not all that fun for me personally. But they are so fun for the kids that I am willing to make the sacrifice to go periodically. My kids loved Hershey Park so much last year that they agreed to use their Christmas gift money so that we can return this summer. (It would not be financial possible this year otherwise.)
Almost a year ago dh won a timeshare for a week in Orlando, FL. My kids have always dreamed of going to Disney World. We took advantage of the timeshare and went. I sort of felt guilty -- I mean, DISNEY WORLD!!! Isn't that the ultimate in twaddle and selfishness?! But you know what? We had a wonderful time. We spent more time together as a family than we had ever spent before in a week's time. The kids have memories that will last a lifetime. (Well, the older ones will have the memories. The younger ones will have the photos to jog the memories! ) By the way, I loved it when MacBeth recently admitted on another thread that she loves Disney World.
And lest you think I have figured out all this, I will tell you about something that happened here just today. While helping 6 and 7yo clean up earlier today, my 6yo dd held up a rather inappropriately dressed Barbie doll that one of my older girls purchased with her own money a few years back, and said, "Mommy, how did you come to let us get this?" I looked at the doll and had to honestly say, "It was in a moment of parental weakness and stupidity!"
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~Irene (Mom to 6 girls, ages 7-19)
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Rebecca
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I am really fond of amusement parks. As a child, my parents and I used to sail to Cedar Point every summer and spend a day there riding the rides together. I always thought it was neat to see rather subdued grownups laughing and having fun together.
My husband and I really love to ride the rollercoasters. The park I mentioned has some of the best in the world so we have gone every or every other summer since we were married. For the past two summers, we did not go simply because we could not afford the admission for the entire family due to my husband's unemployment, not because we were against entertainment as a rule.
Tina P. wrote:
| We went to a theme park today. I'm sorry, but all those are for me is a BIG drain on my energy, time, and money supply. |
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I think that if you do not enjoy yourself, then perhaps next year, choose something that would be a more positive experience for your family. Not everyone is into amusement parks. Perhaps you might like a waterslide park or an overnight stay at some historical destination like a fort or home of a President, etc.
TIna P. wrote:
| Dh and I were waaay beyond disappointed with the money we spent for 6 hours of mainly waiting in line, counting kids and keeping them together, and waiting for each other when everyone couldn't ride the ride. |
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Something I wanted to pass along to those of you who like to attend amusement parks but do not like to wait in line is that the least busy day of the week at an amusement park is Tuesday. We called on year and asked the folks at Cedar Point what the slowest day of the year was. Their answer: The day after Memorial Day. So for the next ten years we made our annual trip to ride the rides on that day, the Tuesday after Memorial Day. We never had to wait in a line more than ten people deep, even on the best rides in the park. We definitely got our money's worth because we were able to ride over and over again without much of a wait.
Another something new that is fun for parents with little ones is a pass that allows one parent to wait in line while the other one stays with the littles and when that parent is done, the other parent goes up the exit ramp to the front of the line and gets on without having to wait. Our local park gives these passes for free. They are a super way to save time in line as well.
Tina P. wrote:
Couldn't we do so much better with our money by donating it to someone REALLY in need? That opens another can of worms, however. Does the money that we donate end in the hands that need it most?
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Not to open up another entire discussion but on this topic, I think it is best to err on the side of charity. Meaning, if someone begs money from me on the street, I give because he asked and I trust that he is accountable to God for what he does with it, rather than my trying to determine that before I give it. An exception might be a beggar who asks for money and tells you that he is going to buy a beer with it. Then it is up to you.
Tina P. wrote:
| They ask me, "Isn't it OK to watch a movie or do something just for fun?" I can't answer them. Is it? |
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Oh Tina, I sure hope so. What a dull and dreary life it would be without fun! There would be no playing frisbee, no dancing Irish jigs in the kitchen with your baby, no "Ring Around the Rosy", no hopscotch, etc. We want to be people who know how to laugh, be happy and play as well as work and worship and learn. I want my children to have the joy of leisure on a sunny Sunday afternoon.
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ALmom
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Could it be that you are grappling with the difference between leisure and entertainment. Leisure is something that relaxes the mind and refreshes the spirit. Now an amusement park could do that and be fine leisure. For our family it is not. We discovered this the year we went to a theme park and all of our dc had the best time skipping rocks in the creek. Now dh and I looked at each other and laughed. We could have had our leisure for free by going to the local creek instead of paying mega bucks for stuff our kids didn't really like. Now, we were there and we did form memories and make the best of it - doing whatever.
I have been in line at theme parks as a college student singing "Little Rabbit Phoo Phoo" with a group of other brain drained college students. Now then it was leisure.
Entertainment is more passive - a sort of state of thrills and attempt to keep a state of excitement. Now our society tends to stress constant entertainment. Why are religous ed programs so silly sometimes? I think it is because of the mistaken idea that if you don't keep the thrills and excitement coming in 2 second sound bites, the kids will get bored and go elsewhere. Ie we have to compete. Now entertainment can end up being us succumbing to the temptation that we have to keep the thrills coming or it can be legitimate leisure. An exciting adventure with good clean fun if it does help to relax the mind and nourish the spirit is certainly legitimate leisure. But if you are breaking the bank, selfishly indulging in continuous entertainment or find that you are doing it because of pressure and not because it relaxes and refreshes your family then there is a problem. Of course mom can be stressed somewhat by the activity that is providing leisure for everyone else - but seeing the kids and dad having a great time and bonding is worth it. You may just need some of your own leisure afterwards. Of course you don't want the family leisure to never meet your needs for leisure either - so it is an art of finding fun, bonding family things to do that everyone enjoys.
Janet
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Tina P.
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I don't think we're puritanical here. We went to the theme park. They actually *did* have some history of Utah stuff in it. I suppose I wouldn't have been so upset about it if the rides had been as long as the waits. The value for the price just wasn't there. 
Also, we wasted money that we certainly didn't need to spend and don't really have right now. My husband has retired from the military but still needs to find permanent work to support our large family. We just bought a house. The dollars are veritably flying from our fingertips! 
We watch our fairytale Disney movies ... the ones that are *not* offensive, at least to us.
I sort of had this idea that the kids would grow out of the videos/dvds we have and that we would be able to avoid the more grown-up movies since our kids would be busy with other things. Most of the time, with extra-curricular lessons and more intense school, this is the case.
Perhaps you could help me discern whether the movies my daughter picked for us are worthy (even as downright entertainment ). Though my 10 yo daughter has seen bits and pieces of two of them and thought they'd be funny, I've never seen the following three movies: Ice Princess, Princess Diary II (we've never seen #1, either), and Freaky Friday with Jamie Lee Curtis.
There are several things I don't like about movies, even those that aren't alarmingly offensive. Everyone is rich enough to do just whatever they please. Kids mouth off to their parents and get away with it. Sometimes these films actually promote the idea that the child is right and the parents are just dim wits. And by the end, everyone is happy and gets along just swimmingly. So can anyone give me some reviews?
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Tina, wife to one and mom to 9 + 3 in heaven
Mary's Muse
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5athome
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I think a lot of the experience also depends on the theme park itself. We will only go to one or two after being to quite a few - they really dovary with ceanliness, type of crowd, etc.
I have not seen any of those movies but I did preview American Girl's Felicity for my daughter last night and was highly disappointed:( Defies her parents and sees no repercussions, steals a horse to set it free, ends up with the horse as her own in the end - it was dismal.
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MacBeth
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Kathryn UK wrote:
| After all, we are Catholics, not Puritans |
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Yes. We can have fun. It's great to be Catholic !
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God Bless!
MacBeth in NY
Don's wife since '88; "Mom" to the Fab 4
Nature Study
MacBeth's Blog 
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teachingmom
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Tina P. wrote:
I sort of had this idea that the kids would grow out of the videos/dvds we have and that we would be able to avoid the more grown-up movies since our kids would be busy with other things. Most of the time, with extra-curricular lessons and more intense school, this is the case.
Perhaps you could help me discern whether the movies my daughter picked for us are worthy (even as downright entertainment ). Though my 10 yo daughter has seen bits and pieces of two of them and thought they'd be funny, I've never seen the following three movies: Ice Princess, Princess Diary II (we've never seen #1, either), and Freaky Friday with Jamie Lee Curtis.
[snip]
So can anyone give me some reviews? |
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Hi Tina,
Now I understand more what you mean about entertainment concerns. As I enter the world of older children and movies, I do so with fear and trepidation . . . It's so much harder to decide what's appropriate in the pre-teen and teenage years, and there are simply fewer appropriate choices.
I can tell you a bit about two of the movies. My mom treated the girls and me to see Ice Princess in the movie theater. She had seen it, and a friend of hers had also taken her grandchildren to see it. I have to admit that I'll think twice about assuming my mom has the same standards that I do. I'm coming to realize that she's been out of the parenting mode for so long that she doesn't see red flags where I see them because she is not watching the movie the first time with the eyes of a protective parent of young children. I think after seeing the movie, she remembers the good parts and sees it as a wholesome movie. And compared to most junk out there, it is relatively clean.
That said, I can remember two areas of possible concern. (There may be more that I am forgetting now.) There is at least one scene of the main character being sort of coerced into going to what looks like an unchaperoned teenage party with drinking and teenagers acting crazy. It's clear that this type of party is not something she wants to be part of, so that's a good message, I guess. But I don't want my girls to have images of this type of social gathering in their minds at all!!! I also remember being uncomfortable with the romance part of the movie. I think it was clean (can anyone with a better memory vouch for this?), but with my girls all 10 and under at the time, I didn't want to go there yet. Oh, I just remembered too that the girl's mom is a militant feminist. She gives her daughter the clear message that figure skating is NOT an option for a girl with a brain like hers. Lot's of opportunities for conversation with dd there.
I saw Princess Diaries II a few years ago. Again, I think it was OK overall. Caveat: my memory for movie particulars is notoriously bad. I was completely taken aback, however, by one comment about a particular man (who is not a character in the movie) being gay. It was hinted at in a way that it most likely went over the heads of many innocent children watching. But why include that at all in a rated G movie for children??!!
I hope someone else with chime in and correct my faulty memory if necessary and point out any other possible red flags.
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~Irene (Mom to 6 girls, ages 7-19)
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Cay Gibson
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We just went on vacation to a theme park as well as a few other places...the plantetarium and JFK museum being the educational side of the coin.
In the past we've always tried to visit different states and make it as educational as possible. After Meme's death, my dh decided we needed some fun and life brought into a rather bleak period in our lives. We began going to theme parks and the children have loved it. Of course I understand the burden of long lines and expensive food but it's part of the deal and teaches our children patience...and us too.
I realized something the day we were at Hurricane Harbor and I was sitting in the water watching my dc play and have a good time. I saw elderly grandmothers there as well, oblivious to what anyone thought of them and their made-for-swimming get-up. They were there having fun with the grandchildren. They were living life and enjoying themselves. I thought about the recent modesty threads here at 4reallearning and thought, What if I had embraced my contemplative-retreat/ conservative side and sat in a chair under an umbrella in full dress, watching other mothers out there in 97 degree weather playing with their dc and keeping cool instead of donning a bathing suit and playing with my dc? My dc would not have seen a joyful, Christian mother. I also realized that, while my dh and I noticed different walks of life and dress, my dc were oblivious to everyone else! They were too busy having fun and enjoying life.
Isn't life hard enough without us making it harder? Our dc will learn life's bumps and bruises without us ever showing them.  I think it's more important that we show them (through entertainment) how to make lemonade out of lemons.
Has anyone else realized how much science is present at a water park!!! . Lots and lots of experiment possibilities (not to mention physical ed ) there. As home educating mothers, I think it's natural to constantly look for educational opportunities. Nothing wrong with that.
My dh is on strike at the moment. We paid for this packet vacation months ago so the only finances we were looking at were eats and gas. Everything else was already paid for. When the strike happened I asked dh if we should still go. He immediately thought of the children first. Of course we were going. He wasn't letting the company and their higher management sitting on their expensive thrones ruin our children's summer vacation. We were going and we were going to enjoy ourselves. He wanted to keep the children's lives "as normal as possible." So we went and...yes...we enjoyed ourselves.
I realized that even while I choose a more contemplative lifestyle (which the older I get I truly crave) I am like the Cure of Ars who desired to retreat to a monastery but who was called by God to minister in the town of Ars. I am not a nun. God did not call me to that vocation. I am a wife and the mother to five. I always felt called to marriage and motherhood and was blessed by God to receive that vocation...joyfully. Entertainment is an important ingredient in our lives and I must view it as part of the vehicle of keeping my dc's hearts and helping them see that Christians can indeed have fun. We aren't a dry, strict, sour-faced crowd. We are joyful!!!
Remember, even St. Therese enjoyed recreation time each day. Has anyone else read A Right to be Merry? The author repeatedly says how we are called to be joyful and not drab. Life is worth celebrating.
The question here is concerning entertainment. If I retreat constantly into my home and pray 24/7 and demand that my dc turn into spiritual-adult clones, won't they be propelled away from the Christian lifestyle? They are children and need entertainment as an outlet from an otherwise stressful world. I think that's why home educators try to hard to make our children's world peaceful and merry. It's part of our calling to make our homes a haven and our families a retreatful cabana, all from the shelter of our arms.
True, we can have fun at home (and we do), and I'm looking for more ways to stay home. I don't believe you have to pay $$$ to go to theme parks or the movies, etc. to have rich entertainment...and I'm all ears for inexpensive homebound recreational ideas. Frankly, I'm staying home more and more, and loving it. I think Americans would save more money and not have as many financial problems if they stayed home more. But, as far as theme parks go, my family loves them. I'm neutral (loved them as a child, could do without them as an adult). What do I hope to gain from these yearly theme park exploits? Good memories and family closeness. I know that my children will look back at our summertime vacations with gratitude, thankfulness, and memories. That's what's important to me.
Vacation packet = $$$$
Eats = $$$
Gas = $$$
Summer Entertainment & Family Togetherness= Priceless
How do we eschew the mainstream?!?! That's a tall order and an even broader subject than entertainment. Not sure I've answered it here. Perhaps that's another thread entirely. 
I think illustrator Tasha Tudor is a perfect role model to observe in this regard. She gave her children a beautiful, rich childhood (despite being devoid of the Christian facet) while never crossing over into the mainstream. Perhaps it varies with each family. The Maxwell family (of M.O.T.H.) gives a good argument on why work matters more than entertainment, which is shown strongly even in Tasha Tudor's work ethic, but even the Maxwell family takes a yearly vacation trip to Colorado and has family entertainment as a normal part of their daily life. I do so want my dc to learn there is value, peace and pleasure in being still and knowing God. That's so important. Am I a witness to them of this fact everyday? Do I show it joyfully?
While I would love to "Be Still!" within my home, life around me and my dc are moving at a very fast pace. I have to leave my contemplative solitude at times and jump into the EAC with them.
__________________
Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: June 27 2006 at 5:41pm | IP Logged
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Tina P. wrote:
They ask me, "Isn't it OK to watch a movie or do something just for fun?"
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You bet! Children in general need fun breaks and some personality types REALLY THRIVE on fun, just ask my brother and 10yo son. These guys have, in particular, shown me the substance of fun. My husband isn't a big fun guy but he takes seriously the need for our children to have fun and makes sure it happens for them. Rats...why does HE get to be the fun parent?
When I need to do fun things that tax or exhaust me, I offer it up for my family which helps put my heart at peace. I know it sounds silly to "offer up my trip to Sea World," but that is what I do. I've gotten better at making sure I pace myself, watch my hydration and blood sugar levels, rest when necessary, etc. I'm always pleased when I find good food (fresh strawberries and whipped cream,) yummy lemonade, and shade.
I'm a pretty intense gal and I take my responsibilities seriously. Left to my own devices, I might be too serious...too practical...too, well, not fun. I'm working on it though.
My fun brother's family just visited and we did a ton of fun things to include the Grand Canyon, a swim park, camping out in the backyard, a Little League All Star game, a Diamondback game, several silly movies, and more...all in six days! Before they arrived, I was very exhausted. I thought I would collapse trying to hang with my fun brother. To my great joy, I feel SO MUCH BETTER and think it has everything to do with filling up my fun tank!
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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momwise
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Cay and Angie,
What inspiring posts!
We have 2 amusement parks here. One is a giant Six Flags, costs about $35.00 to enter, and has extremely expensive food and long lines. There is a water park on one side and there are teen girls roaming around in bikinies everywhere. The other is very old (I went there when I was a girl), much smaller, and the tix are free with the summer reading program. Dh and I used to dread the first one (well, we did after it became 6 flags but I digress) but one of us would take the kids about every other year. Last summer we were in a new library system and we earned the free tix. Well, guess what? Dh and I both went and all of our (at home) children came along--and we had a blast. The whole family is eager to go back this summer, including the teens and that's saying alot!
We're big campers and my dh used to hate putting out $$ for a motel. But a few years ago I began asking that we stay one night on the way home or just go on a short trip without camping. Those nights swimming in the motel pools and hot tubs or jumping on the beds have been such fond memories.
I have come a long way in my growth as a Catholic in my attitude toward spending $$ on entertainment; I used to feel extremely guilty spending any money to have fun (although as Cay says, there are many ways to have free/low cost fun). And I agree with Tina, I don't want to get bad value for our hard earned money.
If an activity causes a family a lack of peace, disappointment, etc. then it's just a matter of finding what everyone enjoys, not giving up entertainment altogether. I know a mom who with her temperament just felt she could not do amusement parks, parades, etc. so their family became big film buffs and rode bikes together.
I thought there was a thread at one time with inexpensive activities for families but I can't find one.
Guess it's time to start one!
__________________
Gwen...wife for 30 years, mom of 7, grandma of 3.....
"If you want equal justice for all and true freedom and lasting peace, then America, defend life." JPII
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Magnificat
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| Posted: June 27 2006 at 8:38pm | IP Logged
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All of these posts are great!
I know for me, this thread has been extremely helful in "waking me up". I can be extremely tunnel visioned and wrapped wayyyyy too tight. At times, I get to feeling the way you do, Tina. I totally understand about the movies and getting caught up in "fads". However, there really is a time for everything. "Everything" meaning fun, relaxation...or whatever. Fun is relief, and sometimes when there's burn-out (and too much of anything can cause that!!) you really do need a break...a fun break!
We have season passes (a gift!) to Water Country (a WaterPark in VA) and yes, it can be stressful at times. But the fun we have certainly outweighs the rest.
We recently bought a trampoline-something I said we would never have-kinda along the same thought of "I'm not giving into that fad" type of thing. But here we are, and I have a great time bouncing around with my kids! (Free entertainment for the neighbors too )
Anyway, I'm not sure if this is even helpful. I just felt like chiming in. Also, our family's Bible verse is
from Ecclesiastes 3. It has always comforted me during stressful times. I thought I would share:
There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens.
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant.
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to tear down, and a time to build.
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather them; a time to embrace, and a time to be far from embraces.
A time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away.
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to be silent, and a time to speak.
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
__________________
~~~Proud To Be A Mom To 3!!!~~~
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Tina P.
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Here's an update on what happened since I asked: What's wrong with entertainment?
We went to my brother's wedding in Colorado. When I discovered he didn't have a Bible, that was our gift to him. We went to this lovely Catholic store, Holy Family Books and Gifts. There, my daughter found the Therese dvd. She begged me to get it. I demurred. As we were driving home I thought, it was far too easy for me to say "no" to this dvd, but I said "yes" to some dvds of this world. Why did that happen? Partly because I was focused on buying a gift for my brother, and partly because I didn't know whether there was anything scary in the movie. I asked my sister about the movie and then we borrowed a copy when we got home. That settled it. I returned the worldly dvds and explained to my daughter that we had both missed the point. We still haven't found the Therese dvd for sale locally, but when we do, I'll buy it for our family.
As far as theme parks, we went to another, much smaller scale version in Colorado when we were there. I guess it was not so much that it was a theme park that bugged me. It was the pace, the crowds, the music, the relative age of the people at Lagoon that bothered me. This park in Colorado had virtually NO WAITING.  Wow. The relative age of the kids was around my kids' ages. We could accomplish everything we wanted to do in a couple of hours. And my kids could ride on whatever ride they wished several times.
Even when we go to Disney World, my favorites are Animal Kingdom and Epcot Center. I won't bother to go to Disneyland, which is closer to where we live now, because they don't have the go-at-your-own-pace feel like Disney World in Florida does.
So I'm not so tightly wound as you all think. Right?
__________________
Tina, wife to one and mom to 9 + 3 in heaven
Mary's Muse
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Karen T
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Tina,
I know you said you've returned the DVD's, but I wanted to mention something about Freaky Friday. I have not seen the new one, but had heard some things about Linsey Lohan (sp?) in it, and decided we wouldn't bother. I had seen the original as a child, so we rented it from Blockbuster and the whole family loved it. We've done this with most of the "new" movies which are really re-makes - The Love Bug, Parent Trap, etc.
A few mos ago we joined blockbuster online, since we'd "shopped out" the G rated family movies at our local one. For $9.99 a month, we get one at a time, but usually we get the new one within about 4 days of mailing out the old one. They also give you one coupon every week for a free rental at your local store, so I think we average 8-10 movies a month for 9.99. Not bad IMO, and using the online service lets you search for lots of great oldies AND some educational ones like NOVA, etc.
Karen
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momwats8
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Hey Tina- I know you have gotten a lot of reponses thus far, but I wanted to encourage you. My family loves the whole theme park gig but I can sympathize with the way you felt when you left. It is horrribly expensive -I love the $2 discount for kids under 3. , It is hard with a lot of kids to make everyone happy and to wait in line all day so that you can do as much as possible for all age groups, and it is hard to steer away from the onslaught of junk they try to sell you there - shirts, games , toys, etc.
We do not go very often and the last couple of times we went my in -laws paid for us so we could go. Lately if we do anything we go more the direction that you like to go - we go to the zoo, or a museum, or a botanical garden etc. The kids love them as much, they cost less ,and we all feel more satisfied at the end of the day.
Entertainment is not inherently bad and I know you felt bombarded. It sounds like you are a great wife and mother and that you care a lot about your family.
In Christ- Mary
Wife to Mike and Mother to Austin(92), Mikey (95), R.J.(97), Benedict(98), Kolbe(00), Ignatius(02), Christian(03), and Margaret(05)
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: What's wrong with entertainment?
