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Becky Parker
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We've struggled with this before but this year has been the biggest struggle yet. I'm mostly referring to my 2 older children in 9th and 7th grades. They both are behind in their work and now are struggling to catch up. I suppose the fact that the weather is beautiful and they are still working on math is punishment enough but I'm so frustrated, and in all honesty, hurt by their actions. I'm also sooooo angry with myself for not doing a better job of staying on top of things so I know, before it gets to be such a problem, when they are getting behind.
So, looking forward, what to do for next year... (I say next year but we'll actually be taking a 4 week break then starting back up in July - my first attempt at a year round school schedule.)
I'm terrible at following through with big schemes so I've learned to ditch the sticker charts and such things. What I thought might work is to make a check sheet for the kid's work that I keep. (They will have their work written in their assignment books.) Then, and I think this is the thing that might make this work, I will explain to them that:
a) It is their responsibility to bring the work to me when they finish it. It is not mine to go looking for it.
b) Only when the work for that day is checked off will they have any screen time or friend time (which seem to be the biggest lures right now.)
c) Every Friday, after dinner, DAD will go over the checklists with me to make sure everyone is staying on track.
Seems like the mention of DAD brings an ominous hush to the room, even though he's not mean at all! 
Any thoughts on this plan?
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Becky
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CrunchyMom
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Sounds good to me. Daily checklists have been successful here. My oldest is responsible, so it may not be universal, but it has worked better than any other system.
What works even better than that alone for us is having them bound in a notebook. I put all the paper for a day behind the daily checklist. Handwriting, dictation, math sheets or blank graph paper for math book work, mapwork, etc... There sre a couple of extra notebooks for separate projects, but this keeps everything contained and centralized.
This last term (6 weeks of assignments), I didn't get the notebook bound for various reasons, and while the work still got done, it was more scattered, and I kept finding work scattered willy nilly and has much less sense for what was actually being done. It meant that trips to the dentist or pediatrician were much less productive because some item was forgotten, etc...
Paper chaos overwhelms me, so having a little less of it made a diffence for me.
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
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[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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jawgee
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I have a similar situation with my DS who is in 6th grade, but instead of skipping assignment entirely, he'll just do the bare minimum (peruse instead of read, write two sentences and call it a "narration", do 20 minutes of math instead of 30 because "I finished the next lesson," etc.)
I'll be watching this thread for suggestions. You're not alone, Becky!
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Monica
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organiclilac
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Instead of a checklist, I have a stack of index cards with every task, school and otherwise, that I might want my son to do that day. I go through each morning and pull out the cards for the day, and then he puts the "done" ones in a pile. It's worked better for me than anything else I've tried. He likes that he can see everything for the day at once and do things in whatever order he wants.
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Tracy, wife to Shawn, mama to Samuel (4/01) and Joseph (11/11), and Thomas (2/15)
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Willa
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Lindsay,
When you say "bound" do you mean in a 3-hole punch binder, or do you have another system?
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Willa
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SallyT
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I've gone to a very detailed daily checklist for this very reason. Good kid, smart kid, responsible in many ways; things still get out of control, and I am not convinced that it's totally my job to be on top of it at this stage. I'm hoping that breaking things down into more structured increments and demanding that they be checked off daily will help.
Otherwise, natural consequences like still doing schoolwork when everyone else is done and having fun . . .
And yes, Dad. Part of the reason I have high hopes for my checklist is that Dad can see at a glance what has and has not been done.
But these are hopes, not actual accomplished triumphs.
Sally
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Amber-v
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Ah, but you also have to remember to check the lists before they move onto the next thing... Sigh. My kids are supposed to have checklist and cleaning chores done before dinner, but I am notoriously bad at remembering to check - and the one who has the most problems with the checklist knows this and exploits it. I've tried to have DH help here but he doesn't remember either! However, I am good at enforcing Saturday school, so at least we don't get too far off. Saturday school and/or missing a fun Friday afternoon activity has a way of being motivating. And since DH works from home, I can leave those with unfinished checklists at home. Sometimes I'm really mean and announce a fun thing with very little advance notice, so said laggard cannot try to get it all done before we would leave. 
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Becky Parker
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Lindsay, I used to bind my kids work into binders. I think I used something called the avilian method. It did work well. I guess I've been thinking these two older kids are beyond that now. Actually, dd is. She is very good at keeping herself organized and knowing what she is supposed to be doing when. In her case, I think she got a bit behind during a busy period of time and then got overwhelmed. She is also a "late bloomer" as far as puberty goes. All that hit this year too, so she's an emotional roller coaster, which hasn't helped anything.
DS, on the other hand ... He has ADHD and I guess I keep thinking he's going to just get over that some day. I thought moving to a check sheet of his assignments was enough but maybe he still needs the visual that the bound work, and before that the workboxes, provided. Maybe I can teach him to pull out the days assignments and create a stack of them in his work area before he begins. That way he'll still have the visual "this is what I need to complete today and when the pile is gone I'm done" but he'll be gaining independence by making the pile himself. I don't know if that will work or not. (And the word "pile" makes it sound like he has a mountain of work! It's really just an average amount for a 7th grader!") I just feel like he should be making strides toward independence.
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Becky
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Becky Parker
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Tracy, I'm interested in the card idea. That might be the visual my ds needs. I'm just having a hard time wrapping my brain around how it works. When you say "everything you might want him to do" do you mean the cards just say something like "Math" or are they more specific like "Math Lesson 1"? (I guess I need a visual too!  )
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Becky
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Becky Parker
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Sally, any way you can share a sample of your checklist?...Please? 
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Becky
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Becky Parker
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Amber-v wrote:
- and the one who has the most problems with the checklist knows this and exploits it.
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Yes, this! My kids know me too well! I'm praying for more diligence and faithfulness to the task so I can do a better job of keeping them in line. I know I have to keep it simple, and I also know that I just don't remember things as well as I used to. I'd like to blame it on the fact that I'll be 50 in a couple of weeks, but I think I just have too much time clutter and stuff clutter in my life!
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Becky
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SallyT
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Becky, I've posted a draft of my checklist here.
And yes, actually checking it is half the battle -- my half! Which is so often where the battle gets lost. I do think, though, that requiring *him* daily to come to me and show me what he's done is really the thing. I don't want to be chasing someone down. And as he's traveling back and forth with my husband, I can remind my husband to help me out there. He's quite willing to do that.
I'll be 50 this fall, and I too so often feel that I'm losing whatever order my mind ever had! We should pray for each other.
Sally
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CrunchyMom
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Becky Parker wrote:
| Tracy, I'm interested in the card idea. That might be the visual my ds needs. I'm just having a hard time wrapping my brain around how it works. When you say "everything you might want him to do" do you mean the cards just say something like "Math" or are they more specific like "Math Lesson 1"? (I guess I need a visual too! ) |
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I don't do cards, but my lists definitely say "Math lesson number 1" not just "math" When I have less specific things on the list, they are the things that are skipped and left undone or half done, so I only do that with things I don't mind being missed so much. It isn't like we never get behind, we just find it easier to be a "day" behind rather than discover we are behind in a particular subject because we repeatedly skipped it. However, I number days rather than put dates or even days of the week on them (leaving space to write the date in) and only assign 4 days a week and 30 weeks a year, which leaves breathing room and lets me make the detailed list more flexible for days off or sick days.
So, instead of a day of the week for certain subjects, I cycle through sets of 4 assigning the things that are done "weekly" or whatever.
I also only print these 6, sometimes 12, weeks at a time so that I can make adjustments throughout the year if necessary. I do start out the year with everything in a spreadsheet, though.
I always thought I would want to be more relaxed, but I think my son prefers the detailed lists because the expectations are clearly defined. I am also not very disciplined myself, and this means I son't forget to tell him anything, if that makes sense.
Oddly, I haven't been able to translate the system to chores  But I experimented with the system during the last two terms of last year and decided to implement it fully this year since it was a baby year. We still ended up getting behind with a new baby, but we are mostly behind on the things I had planned for all of us and my younger non-readers. The things that made it into the notebook in a detailed manner were the things that got done 
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Lindsay
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[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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CrunchyMom
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Willa wrote:
Lindsay,
When you say "bound" do you mean in a 3-hole punch binder, or do you have another system? |
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I bought spiral coils that fit the system dh has at work, so he can take them in and sprial bind them. If he didn't have access to that, I think I would have bought a Pro-click.
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
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[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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Mackfam
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Late to this...but jumping in to share that detailed daily work expectations work well for us, too! I list every.single.expectation on the lesson plan checklist for the day (it's a week-at-glance view so we can see all the work for the week that is expected. When my son comes to me and asks to do "x", I can say, "Sure - I'll just need to check your lesson plans to make sure your work is done." Now the burden is on the child to complete the work, and he knows the expectations. Love your original strategy/plan - it mirrors what we do very closely!
Becky wrote:
I will explain to them that:
a) It is their responsibility to bring the work to me when they finish it. It is not mine to go looking for it.
b) Only when the work for that day is checked off will they have any screen time or friend time (which seem to be the biggest lures right now.)
c) Every Friday, after dinner, DAD will go over the checklists with me to make sure everyone is staying on track. |
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I include little bubbles - just a capital 'O' next to a listed item suffices, or you could text a square bullet for a checkbox, too - for checking off work. As silly as this seems - it's helpful for visual people (like me and my son) to be able to see, and to be able to check that work has been completed. I put these check boxes next to everything - including expected narrations and writing. He is responsible for writing down, for example, the lesson he completes in Algebra, and for checking off if he has completed a reading assignment. *I* check off narrations and writing assignments turned in.
Every morning when he begins, he makes a stack of all his books for the day. You mentioned this as one of your strategies, Becky, so I wanted to mention that my son has been doing this for a couple of years now and it makes a difference to him. It means that he can grab his books and read in another room if needed, and that he (and I) can see at a glance what he has left to work on. (Still working on the habit of returning books neatly to the shelf...but that's a different topic altogether isn't it? This kid is a stacker...NOT...a shelver!  ). Oh...and several books for his schedule are on the iPad. For that, I make a card stock marker (about 4x6) that just stays on his shelf, and it lists a sort of term schedule on it of pages to be read for that book. This gives him something tangible to grab and put in his stack, and it also serves as his checklist for the book's reading for the term.
It is his responsibility to bring me the checklist and we review it together at the end of each day. It's his responsibility to find me for narrations. It's his responsibility to put math work on my desk to be checked.
We meet together and review expected work at the beginning of a term, and at the end of every week (using the lesson plan checklist). He lets me know if there are challenges, difficulties, etc. We brainstorm to see if these are legit or things one simply has to "buckle up buttercup" and do. Not rocket science. It's easy to figure out, and my own style is just to call it like I see it so...no big word-fest there.
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The common ideas that I think you can run with are that boys need:
** Clear expectations that are written down.
** Accountability - you HAVE TO check their work. Every.single.day.
** Reasonable flexibility - I'm open to shifting/adjusting when it's needed and this lets my boys know that I'm willing to work with them and that even if I ask them to do something they may not initially enjoy (Latin), they know a brief list of reasons, that it's something that must be done, and that I'm willing to work with them.
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Jen Mackintosh
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Martha
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Big fan of checklists here.
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organiclilac
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My cards do just say "Math" - every day when I grade it, I move the paperclip we use as a bookmark to the next page I want him to do, so there isn't any confusion as to what "Math" means. He can always see what the next lesson is (we use Math-U-See). I have a similar system for most subjects.
I have one of those plastic index card cases, and it has things like math, grammar, typing, Spanish, reading - all of which are fairly vague, but he generally knows what the next assignment is, and if not, he'll come ask for clarification. Also have things like sweep, vacuum, clean bathrooms, change your sheets, etc. And things like art, which I forget about otherwise. Oh, and things that HE wants to do, that I need to remember to make time for, like exercise and practice guitar.
Honestly, the cards are really great for ME to remember things. If there's something that I've been meaning to have him do, I write it down and put it in the stack, or I'll never remember. I don't have him do the same things every day, and don't really have a schedule, so when I'm flipping through the possibilities for the day, I'll think, "Hey, it's been a few days since he did grammar, I'll throw that one in again."
Plus, as I said, this is the method that he has liked best by far. He likes to see everything he has to do, get it all organized, and watch the pile shrink.
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Tracy, wife to Shawn, mama to Samuel (4/01) and Joseph (11/11), and Thomas (2/15)
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Willa
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Thanks, Lindsay. I have had the proclick on my Amazon wish list for ages
Tracy, I have been experimenting with cards all during spring. They are very helpful for ME because they help me organize flexibly as you mentioned, but I haven't yet found a way to make them work with my 11 year old who is still a bit too scattered to deal with a stack of loose materials. Still, I like your system -- something to think about for the future.
Love this thread since I'm planning things out for next year. We school year around but are on hiatus right at the moment. My 5th kid is graduating, so next year I will only have 2 kids in the homeschool. A first
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Willa
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motherheart
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Hi Becky,
I could have written this last year.
I like your plan.
I think parenting boils down to us being more stubborn than our children!
Laste year, though, instead of working throught the summer we did take some of a break (because if I didn't have a break it would have been BAD). Now the kids are on a November-October schedule for school with taking the summer off. No, it is not ideal, but it is as much DH and my fault as it is the kids' for not keeping them on task. We were doing well this year until I had some health issues earlier this year and then things fell apart agiain.
So--I feel your pain! You are in my prayers. Again, I like your plan; the best part of a plan is seeing it work when we stick to it!
:)
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Mary
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MarilynW
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Mackfam wrote:
The common ideas that I think you can run with are that boys need:
** Clear expectations that are written down.
** Accountability - you HAVE TO check their work. Every.single.day.
** Reasonable flexibility - I'm open to shifting/adjusting when it's needed and this lets my boys know that I'm willing to work with them and that even if I ask them to do something they may not initially enjoy (Latin), they know a brief list of reasons, that it's something that must be done, and that I'm willing to work with them. |
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Just wanted to comment - it always astounds me that boys who are able to recite every baseball statistic or soccer world cup statistic going back 50 years, have such trouble remembering their work and chores every day 
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: When Independent Work Isn't Being Done :(
